Prejudice Against Homosexuality Gets Me Down

[debrand]

My husband works with a man who I thought was pretty sweet. He is a single father who works seems to really care about his children.

Altough I knew that he was a tiny bit redneck, I don't buy into the stereotype that all redneck people are racist or homophobic. My brother is a bit redneck(likes to hunt and fish) but he is not racist or homophobic at all.

The man told my husband that he doesn't talk to one brother. Apparently, twelve years ago, the brother told him over the phonee that he was gay. They haven't talked since.

I don't know why, but that story really depressed me. It is so sad to not speak with your brother because he of who he shares a bed.

My husband's coworker comes from a large family of boys and apparently, the other brothers just tolerate their gay sibling for the sake of their mom. My husband's coworker won't even go to family reunions that his brother attends.

Lately, the bigotry around me has depressed me because it seems so ingrained. :cry:

I'm adding more to this post. My husband's coworker is not fundie. He curses, has been married and divorced more than once and doesn't appear religious at all. Where does the homophobia come from? And his poor brother has siblings that only tolerate him for the sake of their mom. What would make a man so threatened by his brother's sexuality that he won't show up to family events with his gay sibling?

[Esther]

Maybe it's because I grew up in a climate that's at least a bit more accepting of homosexuality - gay marriage since 2004, gay adoption too, civil unions much longer, I had an openly gay teacher in Catholic primary school and it was no big deal, etc - but I just don't understand homophobia.

I just honestly don't. Even my mother, who is the nicest most left-wing person you'll ever meet, thinks that though there's nothing wrong with it, it's still 'unusual' and 'a little weird'. Why??? What's so different between a man and a woman getting married and two men getting married? I honestly do not understand why people care, unless it's a Bible thing, and even then it just sounds stupid to me and like you're looking for an excuse to arbitrarily hate people. I don't see what a 2000-year old book has to do with how you treat your friends and family. I guess you oughta stop eating shellfish and wearing mixed fabrics too then. Seriously.

[Luvchild]

I get so sad too. My gay friends are the best, most loving people in the world. Politicians (mainly republicans) will pander to the bigots of the world and avoid talking about the real issues in our society, like poverty, unemployment, greedy businesses, and real criminals. I hope to live in a loving society one day, where crime rate and poverty are low, and people are living good lives and not worrying about their gay brothers.

[Soldevi]

We elect a new president in Finland this coming Sunday and there are now two candidates on the second round. Another one is an openly gay living in a registered relationship. He has been together with his spouse since mid-nineties. And all those comments online, usch. We are electing a president, one person only, not royalty type family. Who cares what they do in bed.

Stupid, stupid things like this spouse was 19 when they met, a TEEN, oh the horror. Because he was TEEN, this candidate is called paedophile. And because this candidate is gay, we cannot represent Finland in muslim countries and such and omg did I tell you he is gay! There can't be First Gentleman, omgomg. And the age difference between this gay couple is sooooo big, did I tell you he is a paedophile? Oh, and because this spouse comes from Ecuador, they are definitely lying his age because only Europeans know how to keep record of births! We have our own obamagate here with this spouse's birth certification. It is clear for authorities and he is a Finnish citizen but you know, conspiracy, clearly.

Now, take this other candidate... Widower who three years ago married 29 years younger woman and they began their relationship while she still in a relationship with another man. But it's perfectly normal, they are heterosexuals.

I hate I hate I hate this kind of prejudice. I am glad that he was elected in a first round, it shows we still value basic human rights but this stupidity, it burns. There are always those who can't see nothing but sex when they think about other people.

[Soldevi]

Oh, and you can't say homophobia because it is a medical term and diagnoses should be left to doctors but they are perfectly comfortable then in the same breath say how gays are sick and it is 'unnatural'. Bloody hell, whatever happened to leaving diagosing to professionals? :roll:

[debrand]

Oh, and you can't say homophobia because it is a medical term and diagnoses should be left to doctors but they are perfectly comfortable then in the same breath say how gays are sick and it is 'unnatural'. Bloody hell, whatever happened to leaving diagosing to professionals? :roll:

I'd never heard that dodge before. So, is calling someone a racist using a medical diagnosis?

[kpmom]

Lately, the bigotry around me has depressed me because it seems so ingrained. :cry:

I hear you, but let me share an uplifting story that I found very touching.

Michael Irvin, who played football for the Dallas Cowboys (superstar, Hall of Fame, etc.), had an older brother (since passed away) who was gay as well as a cross-dresser.

Michael's father told he and his siblings when they were young, "He's your brother, you're to love and accept him.".

Consequently Michael, a superstar in a very macho sport, is very pro marriage equality, and other issues that involve the gay community.

He even went so far as to pose for the cover of "Out" magazine. Here's the link http://aol.sportingnews.com/nfl/story/2 ... gazine-out

If his father had the attitude of your husband's co-worker it would have been an entirely different story. Because his father was a wise and tolerant person, so are Michael and his siblings.

Just wanted to share a story that touched me when I read it.

[Soldevi]

That argument comes from local christians and other gay-haters and they have used it some years. Because phobia is a medical term and they are certainly NOT afraid of gays, those sick bastards, so they can't be called phobics and there isn't such a thing as homophobia.

I just...argh. They can pick whatever terms they want and choose those words they want to understand literally. And their point of view is naturally the right one.

[koolmom]

That is awful...I've been blessed over many years by many gay neighbors, associates, etc. My landlord is one-half of a male couple who I discovered grew up right across the street from me (he was a baby when I was in my teens), and is the kindest, sweetest guy you could ever meet. When he discovered we'd been neighbors, he said "I'm going to call my mother", and he did. Since then, they have both brought me lovely, home-cooked dishes, invited me to countless parties (tame and acceptable by most standards), and given me various garden supplies, as they love to putter in their front yard (I live behind their house in a cottage).

Even MORE co-incidentally, his older partner ran a one-time popular restaurant in our city's beach area that my then-husband and I used to frequent in the late Seventies' called "Organ Power Pizza", a lively, Shakey's-like family place which boasted a monstrous pipe organ which he played for the diners. He still plays piano, and some nights, his music wafts in earshot of my back door, which I leave open on balmy nights, esp. when I'm not feeling well and rest to the sound of tinkling ivories.

An old gay neighbor I had when he moved into his place behind my house (different residence) completely by hand built a lovely patio-garden enclosure, which he took great pride in and welcomed my kids and I to relax and soak up the ambience (cool drinks, music piped in from his sound system indoors), all scavenged from his alley finds along with his adorable Boxer dog, Maggie May.

Another gay neighbor used to run a catering business and used to pay me a few dollars to wash his tablecloths for his biz -- in return, he put up a sturdy clothesline in my back yard which I used even after he'd moved away -- he used to make the most scrumptious orange salsa I have never found anywhere else...

Another gay male couple (residents of the same apt's behind my house) and I hit it off when we'd banded together about a female neighbor (hetero) who turned out to be a stalker (I was her victim) and we had many wonderful visits to their home, where one of them worked at a movie theater and gave my son scads of movie posters and cardboard stand-up Hollywood figures.

This goes to show you how ignorant and narrow-minded many of these fundie pinheads are when it comes to perfectly wonderful and genuine people who they choose to hate. They aren't worth the ground they walk on, as far as I'm concerned. These fine people above care more about me than my own family -- esp. my landlord who used to know and observe my dad who was the cranky old man of the neighborhood.

To further lift your spirits, check out the "AFA hates Ellen" thread posted and the many supportive letters sent in by Daily Mail readers both here in the U.S. and the UK. Those idiot fundies deserve a good knock upside the noggin with a good, heavy JCPenney brand gourmet frying pan! LOL

[fakepigtails73]

I hear you, but let me share an uplifting story that I found very touching.

Michael Irvin, who played football for the Dallas Cowboys (superstar, Hall of Fame, etc.), had an older brother (since passed away) who was gay as well as a cross-dresser.

Michael's father told he and his siblings when they were young, "He's your brother, you're to love and accept him.".

Consequently Michael, a superstar in a very macho sport, is very pro marriage equality, and other issues that involve the gay community.

He even went so far as to pose for the cover of "Out" magazine. Here's the link http://aol.sportingnews.com/nfl/story/2 ... gazine-out

If his father had the attitude of your husband's co-worker it would have been an entirely different story. Because his father was a wise and tolerant person, so are Michael and his siblings.

Just wanted to share a story that touched me when I read it.

That story reminds me of the one about the son of a man whom I don't like, Brian Burke (he's the GM of the Toronto Maple Leafs of the NHL, and I, being a Montreal Canadiens fan, dislike the Leafs immensely.) Usually I hate everything that Burke does because he works for the Leafs and because of the way that he sees the sport of hockey. But one thing that I really admire Burke for is the way that he speaks of the memory of his son; his son was a gay hockey player, who played in minor leagues. 2 or 3 yrs ago he died in an accident. Burke takes time every summer to take part in the TO pride parade, and works hard at getting rid of homophobia in hockey. It seems minor but I don't think we would have seen it 10 yrs ago..

Because, like it or not, major league sports seems to be the last bastion of tolerated homophobia. When was the last time that a major league pro athlete in North America came out?? :think: And what would happen to him if he did? I can think of only one, an NFL player, and he came out after his retirement. One only has to look at the treatment that heterosexual Sean Avery got because he's a fan of fashion and did a public service announcement for gay marriage in New York (although I hate that guy, and would have been a bit happy if the insult he got from another player wasn't so homophobic. Avery is a major douche on and off the ice.)

But yeah, who cares about sexual preferences. I choose my friends for their personnalities and values not for whom they sleep with.

[ADoyle90815]

This makes me sad because I have an uncle who basically committed suicide because my grandparents were strict Catholics so they would have disowned him if he dared to come out to them.

[fundiefun]

I grew up in a fairly large south west suburb of Chicago and we literally had no gay people in my school that was known. I had no exposure to gay people either minus a few who to me I would find "strange" and "weird". This was back during my high school days of 2003-2006 and I remember there being a big stink about a group of gay teens wanting to start a Gay Straight Alliance. The idea of it being strange is when you have no exposure to what real gay people are like aside from the stereotypes you see on TV. I did meet one gay guy who was very flamboyant and was a drag queen performer when I was dating a guy who lived in Louisiana and when we went shopping he was wearing his what I call hooker heels that he would perform in and I was completely mortified and embarrassed to be seen with him and I flat out asked him "is this a joke". It made me very uncomfortable and I'm not proud of that moment, but where I was raised you would never see anything like that which also surprises me that he did that down in Louisiana than again it was New Orleans. I think the fear honestly comes from not being exposed to gays and the flamboyance is what makes people uncomfortable. I thankfully grew up and and changed how I felt about gays and going to college really made me open my eyes to the prejudices and homophobic attitudes I once held.

[PBrooke]

I just try to focus on the future. I was born in the 80s, my parents had a few gay friends and I never witnessed blatant homophobia personally until I was in college, at least. There are way more people who were raised like I was than there used to be. When I have kids, I will raise them to be even more accepting than I was (looking back, there seemed to be a bit of a double standard - gay men were more common, but I think my parents were still a bit uncomfortable with lesbians). It's all we can do.

[alphaeta08]

It makes me sad, too, because even though progress has been made with regards to marriage equality, etc, it's just taking so long! It HAS to get better in the future, though, because, even the religious kids (college-age) I know wouldn't care about, say, gay marriage being legal, even if they wouldn't straight up support it. At school, it's considered really bad taste to show sincere prejudice against anyone, including gay people, so at least it's something people are embarrassed to show in public (but I know I can't count on evil university students as a reliable sample). Actually, come to think of it, I know older people, like my grandparents' age, that seem to have mellowed out about gay rights. It is disappointing, though, to think someone is "normal," only to find out they have sucky views.

[crazyforkate]

I know. It just feels like there's no point, no point to it whatsoever. You are wasting your energy over something that's never going to hurt you when you could be working on real issues. And that's sad.

[alysee]

I am not going to say ignorance is an excuse but when I was in that mindset it was total ignorance. I believed what people told me about homosexuality because I didn't know anyone who was gay. I am older, wiser and out of that mindset and I can't believe what people say. I can't believe people care about who people are sharing a bed with. Jeez, people need a hobby if you have time to think about these things. Get over it. Love is love. Everyone deserves love.

[emmiedahl]

It gets me down a lot. It makes me cry. This stuff really bothers me. I hate that so many LGBT people have to deal with inner turmoil and external consequences for being the way God made them.

The anti-gay marriage and adoption thing enrages me on a deep, visceral level because it can destroy lives. No one has ever criticized me nor questioned my parenting abilities or my commitment toward my husband just because I was heterosexual. My family and marriage are so important to me that I can't even put my head around how this must feel. Really, really bad, I guess.

I think that sensible people have a responsibility to respond to prejudice, especially members of the non-stigmatized majority community. I will not let people get bullied and beaten down while I stand idly by. LGBT people should not have to fight the war on hatred by themselves. They don't have the political power or the numbers to do it themselves.