Fundie Parenting Advice For Bedwetting

[Want More Babies]

It never ceases to amaze me how much these fundie women HATE their children. God forbid they show any love towards them. Today on a Yahoo group a lady was asking for advice on how to handle two younger children who they co-sleep with and still wet the bed. The mother is pregnant and would love for her children to stop by the time the new baby is born.

A Michael Pearl wannabe answered. Are you effing kidding me? What a bitch! I am waiting for everyone to agree that this is the best way. I just can't stand the way their poor children are treated. She "thinks" it helped develop muscle tone? SOTDRT medical degree? Jeez :angry-screaming:

Well, we never co-slept so I'm not sure how much that may be contributing

to the situation. We had 2 bed-wetters, both boys. I won't go through all

the things we tried that did not work, but we went through many years of

struggles, frustration and embarrassment. This may sound harsh, but it

really worked and was the only thing that did work for my boys. When he

would wake up wet I would immediately put him in a cold shower. It did

cause a bit of a shock to his system, and I think it helped develop muscle

memory. I tried to be as kind as possible and told him that it was to help

him to not wet the bed. Our boys were older than yours so I explained what

would happen ahead of time and they definitely did not want to wet the bed,

but just didn't seem able to control it. It worked and worked quickly.

One boy took a week or maybe 2 and the other boy only 2 or 3 cold showers.

The 4-yr-old should be able to stay dry through the night unless there is a

physical problem. If you've checked with your dr and there doesn't seem to

be a physical problem, you might give the showers a try. I also noticed

that my boys went to the bathroom often during the day so I would make them

wait just a little while and have them hold it before allowing them to go

to the bathroom. If your child's bladder is a little too small this can

help stretch it a bit to help them stay dry through the night. You may

also want to teach him to start and stop the flow, this exercises the

muscles and gives them better control.

Hope this helps! Blessings!

[dairyfreelife]

It never ceases to amaze me how much these fundie women HATE their children. God forbid they show any love towards them. Today on a Yahoo group a lady was asking for advice on how to handle two younger children who they co-sleep with and still wet the bed. The mother is pregnant and would love for her children to stop by the time the new baby is born.

A Michael Pearl wannabe answered. Are you effing kidding me? What a bitch! I am waiting for everyone to agree that this is the best way. I just can't stand the way their poor children are treated. She "thinks" it helped develop muscle tone? SOTDRT medical degree? Jeez :angry-screaming:

Well, we never co-slept so I'm not sure how much that may be contributing

to the situation. We had 2 bed-wetters, both boys. I won't go through all

the things we tried that did not work, but we went through many years of

struggles, frustration and embarrassment. This may sound harsh, but it

really worked and was the only thing that did work for my boys. When he

would wake up wet I would immediately put him in a cold shower. It did

cause a bit of a shock to his system, and I think it helped develop muscle

memory. I tried to be as kind as possible and told him that it was to help

him to not wet the bed. Our boys were older than yours so I explained what

would happen ahead of time and they definitely did not want to wet the bed,

but just didn't seem able to control it. It worked and worked quickly.

One boy took a week or maybe 2 and the other boy only 2 or 3 cold showers.

The 4-yr-old should be able to stay dry through the night unless there is a

physical problem. If you've checked with your dr and there doesn't seem to

be a physical problem, you might give the showers a try. I also noticed

that my boys went to the bathroom often during the day so I would make them

wait just a little while and have them hold it before allowing them to go

to the bathroom. If your child's bladder is a little too small this can

help stretch it a bit to help them stay dry through the night. You may

also want to teach him to start and stop the flow, this exercises the

muscles and gives them better control.

Hope this helps! Blessings!

[valsa]

Fuck those assholes! It's often a matter of a child's body (usually a boy's) not being mature enough to wake up on cue. The cold showers probably had nothing to do with muscle memory and everything to do with their children being so terrified of the punishment that they slept lightly (or not at all) so they'd be able to wake up more easily. But I suppose it's worth torturing your children to avoid having to buy pull-ups or rubber sheets.

[CanadianHippie]

Another Fuck them. This is a really good way to give your child issues with going to the bathroom. And really? "The 4-yr-old should be able to stay dry through the night unless there is a

physical problem"? really? No, a 4 year old who cannot stay dry through the night is a perfectly normal 4 year old. That's why they invented Goodnights, for Christ sake! Because it takes time for children to develop enough control, and enough awareness to stay dry over night. Hell, no doctor in his/her right mind would even consider worrying about night time wetting unless it's a recent development or the child is at least 7 years old.

[pixydust]

Oh Jesus, that makes me mad! All 3 of mine were/are bed wetters. My first two until right before they turned 6, and my youngest is 4 and still wets the bed every night. Pullups and Underjams, folks. Not hard!

Oh, and making them hold it during the day is counter productive. All it does is teach them to ignore their bodies. My youngest can hold it for the longest time, always has been able too, he still wets the bed.

I know my way is better, when my youngest found out that his cousins don't use Pullups at night and was upset and his big brother sat him down (he's 12) and explained that he had used pullups at night, and it was ok, that J's bladder just had to get big enough for his body, and he would stop eventually. No shaming going on, so my oldest was able to help his little brother feel better about it. No more complaints or arguments about wearing them.

[alphaeta08]

Geez, I wet the bed pretty regularly all the way through elementary school. I'm just a really heavy sleeper! Wonder of wonders, my parents didn't make me take cold showers; they took turns waking up in the middle of the night, waking me up, and physically holding me up on the toilet so I could make it through the night (This was only when I was younger, before Goodnites were a "thing" I guess, because I switched to them eventually.). Why? Because there's literally NOTHING you can do to make a child stop wetting the bed, you just have to wait it out. Makes me sad for those boys! :evil:

[So Many Lies]

Worst punishment ever..

Though bedwetting is very annoying

[tankgirl]

The stupid hurts! They sell timer clocks (or you set an alarm clock) that work as an alarm to wake kids who bed wet in the middle of the night so they can learn to night wake to pee. Usually it is a mix of immature bladders and a heavy sleep pattern, that leads to normal bedwetting. Poor kids, I don't know how you can ignore a child's normal growth and just switch to beating and torturing your kid for everything, including completely typical behavior.

[Antigone]

Sevy wet the bed all the way til she was 5, and I'm pretty sure she'll have some accidents now and then. I wouldn't worry unless the pediatrician commented, and even that, my brother wet the bed til he was 10 or 11, so I kept that in mind as a possibility...annoying, but not shameful. I'm just glad we don't have to buy underjams anymore....

ANYWAYS, those cold showers are kind of mean, and it doesn't make sense to belittle the children for something out of their control. I'll never understand fundies and children...sigh. The stupidity, it HURTS.

[Rosa]

I hope that cold shower lady has taken her kids to a pediatrician at SOME point in their lives, because it sure sounds like she hasn't (any pediatrician would have told her bedwetting is totally normal.)

[pomology]

Yeah, I wet my bed until I was relatively old. I'd say I was in second or third grade when I stopped, though I don't really remember. Thankfully my parents are not fundies and they took me to a specialist.

[starfish]

Someone needs to beat that b!tch with a cane. Cold showers in the middle of the night???!!?? WTF?

I like how she prefaces it with "I know it sounds mean"..... because it is mean, you freakin' ho!

[Jessica]

Scaring kids just makes the bed-wetting worse. I wet the bed for quiiiite a long time. Very embarrassing. Apparently my uncle was the same way. Anywho, there is a nose spray ypu can take to help with it. If I went to a friend's house I'd just say it was for "allergies". I'd also not drink anything for a couple hours before I went to bed. Giving the kid a cold shower or beingf mean about it isn't going to help.

[jenny_islander]

One of my nephews is a solitary, taciturn young man who lives online. He is currently saving for another year of college by renting his old room at home and working most of the time. He can be extracted from his man cave on family occasions long enough to eat dinner; then he disappears again. This is all directly traceable to his problem of wetting himself until he was in his early teens. Medically there was nothing to do but wait. Emotionally, his parents gave him support and never blamed him for something he couldn't help, but they couldn't make up for his lack of sleepovers, Scout campouts, athletic tryouts, and so forth. So he just didn't develop socially. I shudder to think what state he would be in right now if they had punished him for having an incompletely developed bladder.

[Austin]

I think that sounds like a great recipe to totally screw up your kid and cause serious and possibly permanent personality disorders. It's amazing to me how many people who end up criminals or just anti-social in general were bedwetters who were shamed or disciplined for bedwetting. A cold shower is a form of torture. It is normal for kids to wet the bed for a certain time, and most kids do at least occasionally. It can also run in families, and may have to do with being a very heavy sleeper.

Empathy is developed as empathy is shown. This mother deserves to be put in a pod with some of the convicts of the type whose mothers did similar things to them.

I understand that it could be frustrating to constantly be dealing with wet sheets and bedding and pajamas, not to mention the mattress, but in this day and age of Pull-Ups and Depends, there's no reason for any of that. Just give the kid a box of whatever is appropriate and let them discretely handle it. Chances are greater than not that it will resolve on its own.

[StarrieEyedKat]

I think that sounds like a great recipe to totally screw up your kid and cause serious and possibly permanent personality disorders. It's amazing to me how many people who end up criminals or just anti-social in general were bedwetters who were shamed or disciplined for bedwetting. A cold shower is a form of torture.

[Jessica]

There are waterproof covers that you can put on the bed so the mattress doesn't get wet. Strip off the sheets, spray the cover with some 409, open a window to let it air out, then wipe the cover down with a rag later and you're good. No shaming necessary. :(

[jenny_islander]

There are even waterproof mattresses. They don't cost much more than the regular kind, at least in kids' sizes.

[pomology]

Scaring kids just makes the bed-wetting worse. I wet the bed for quiiiite a long time. Very embarrassing. Apparently my uncle was the same way. Anywho, there is a nose spray ypu can take to help with it. If I went to a friend's house I'd just say it was for "allergies". I'd also not drink anything for a couple hours before I went to bed. Giving the kid a cold shower or beingf mean about it isn't going to help.

[BoomerLynn]

I find myself saying this repeatedly anymore but WTF is wrong with people?! My boys are bedwetters, my oldest more so. They sleep so deeply that it doesn't wake them when they have to go. Since I am usually up for a couple hours after they go to bed, I get them up to go to the bathroom right before I go to bed. It workds great and they only have an occasional accident. I have only had to take a cold shower once in my life, when I as a kid and had a very bad sunburn. It was horrible, and was probably the fastest shower I have ever taken. I couldn't imagine forcing my kid to do that ever, let alone in the middle of the night.

[Doomed Harlottt]

My grandmother, who is in her 90s, has struggled with insomnia all her life. She attributes it to being afraid to go to sleep when she was little because her mother shamed her whenever she went to bed. If that's really the source of the insomnia -- way to go mom for creating a lifelong problem in her child!

[2xx1xy1JD]

Get a waterproof mattress pad, get rid of the Pull-Ups and take the kids to the toilet in the middle of the night.

Pull-ups serve as a subconscious signal to wet, so IME they actually make the problem worse.

Wet underwear has a similar effect to a cold shower, but without the parental torture element.

Reminding the child to use the toilet before bed, and then taking the child to the toilet EVERY NIGHT just before midnight, it will become an ingrained habit after 3-4 weeks. The trick is consistency - you can't miss a night and need to be prepared to do it for a month. Oh, and you can't move the child's sleep location, or you will find your son sleepwalking to the wall to take a leak, lol.

[DarkAnts]

My parents used a combination of an alarm clock to wake me up in the middle of the night and a buzzer that would go off if the bed was wet. The buzzer would go off at the first sign of moisture and wake me up. This helped to train me to get up and go when I had the urge to urinate. Both methods helped train me to not wet the bed.

Bedwetting is a medical condition. It should be treated with kindness and understanding. A child already feels shameful when they wet the bed and throwing them in a cold shower exasperates the problem. Not letting them go when they have the urge is counterproductive because you are teaching them to not listen to their bodies.

[emmiedahl]

My 4 yo started wetting the bed and we discovered that it was because she was afraid to get up at night--afraid of the dark. We already have nightlights, and her bedroom is right next to a bathroom, so we started leaving the bathroom and hall lights on. Problem solved. I felt bad for the kid; imagine lying awake in the dark with an aching bladder and terrified to go to the bathroom!

I wonder if this bitch ever talked to her kids about the bedwetting. Sometimes there are physiological causes, and sometimes there is something going on.

[SquirrelySquirrel]

Love how the poster tries to casually blame it on co-sleeping too. What a worthless piece of shit. God, I ache for these kids.

My husband and I were both bed wetters, though my parents learned to wake me up and usher me to the bathroom in the middle of the night. No shaming involved (it's embarrassing enough without having the people you're supposed to be able to trust implicitly rubbing your nose in it and/or subjecting you to torture!), and it worked 99% of the time. By some miracle our daughter didn't take after us. She was staying dry all night before she was fully potty trained. But she's a freak who only pees approx 3 times a day despite a healthy intake of fluids.