::squealls:: Miss Raquel Reviews Movies

[formergothardite]

::Happy Face:: Mis Raquel........ posted on her FB page......... that she is working on, not one, but TWO movie reviews!!!!!!!!!!!!! Her reviews are so deep and insightful that I am not sure how she finds the time to do them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't wait to see what movies she reivews!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ::holds my breath sitting on the edge of my seat::

By the way, I've decided to compete with Boogalou to see if I can get asked to be a guest writer on Misss Raquel's latest fictional or non-fictional. Possibly both!!! :squeals: I am having issues with knowing where to put..........my elipses. This......is.......harder......than.....it.......looks.

On another note, I actually went and saw the latest Sherlock Holmes movie that she reviewed. I don't think she realized that Simka was a fortune teller at a brothel or that Watkins showed up at his wedding half-drunk with his clothes ripped because he got into so many fights. Also, reading her review of it didn't tell me anything about the movie. Nothing at all.

And this is nothing but a fluff thread. Feel free to try and write like Miss Raquel. I will I could figure out how to center everything.

[VodouDoll]

Hee. I saw the thread title and thought, "Oh! Miss Raquel! What's she up to?"

Things I learned from her Sherlock Holmes review:

1. Holmes and Watson are in it.

2. There's a woman named Simka whose hair is nice.

3. Moriarty is the bad guy.

4. Holmes's outfits are "ironic," whatever that means.

5. Raquel didn't understand the end, but liked the story anyway.

And...that's it. Nothing on what the movie is about. What did it do well, and what didn't it do well? What confused her? This review tells me absolutely nothing about whether I would enjoy the movie or not.

She should stick to fictionals. I adore reading her fictionals.

[formergothardite]

She is working on a non-fictional this year. I so hope she publishes part of it on her blog. If it is anything like her fictional, it is going to be amazing.

[Lostie]

She is working on a non-fictional this year. I so hope she publishes part of it on her blog. If it is anything like her fictional, it is going to be amazing.

I saw that. Do you have any idea what it's about? I often find non-fiction kind of boring so I was hoping for another fictional.

[Deleted07]

surprised she didnt say there was homo-erotic overtones that caused her to arrange a boycott of the film... He does dress in drag in one scene I saw right? lol!!!

[samithemage]

I browsed her site briefly, searching for these "fictionals," but couldn't find them. Anybody happen to have a link? They sound amazingly bad.

[VodouDoll]

god-sdaughter.blogspot.com/2010/05/lifes-choices-chapter-1.html

Here's chapter one of the fictional where teenage Lorena gets pregnant and then meets preachy Peter Gunn, who comes off like a total serial killer and stalks and harasses her into not getting an abortion, and then she gets born again, they fall in love, and everyone lives happily ever after.

god-sdaughter.blogspot.com/2010/12/chapter-1.html

Here's chapter one of her fictional about a lady who whines a lot about how her ball gets dirty until a chivalrous knight cleans it off with his magic ferret. I don't even know. That's the only plot point I remember.

Have there been others?

[dairyfreelife]

god-sdaughter.blogspot.com/2010/05/lifes-choices-chapter-1.html

Here's chapter one of the fictional where teenage Lorena gets pregnant and then meets preachy Peter Gunn, who comes off like a total serial killer and stalks and harasses her into not getting an abortion, and then she gets born again, they fall in love, and everyone lives happily ever after.

god-sdaughter.blogspot.com/2010/12/chapter-1.html

Here's chapter one of her fictional about a lady who whines a lot about how her ball gets dirty until a chivalrous knight cleans it off with his magic ferret. I don't even know. That's the only plot point I remember.

Have there been others?

I hope she is not attempting to publish these. I mean, not on her blog, like for real, publish. Self-publishing is not a good way-I read half of that self-published novella "Red Rain" by Aubrey something and it was not good. She needed a real editor, but if these girls attempt to publish their silly books through a real editor, I can guarantee they will get it back all marked up if they manage to even find one interested in her story. Not because they are bad writers, but because they need more practice and better ideas, more realistic with the plot and characters.

I will have to read these on my free time later just to see. My bet is on a story with main characters who are lack any depth or personality, some deus ex machina scenarios and unrealistic plots, no? Simply because I doubt these teen and young adult fundies are not well read on the classics, not to mention just lacking in life experience and with others not like themselves.

[VodouDoll]

My bet is on a story with main characters who are lack any depth or personality, some deus ex machina scenarios and unrealistic plots, no?

Even that is overly generous, IMO.

And as for trying to publish them, I remember when Raquel was writing the one about pregnant Lorena, she was very concerned that someone would steal the story, try to take credit for writing it, and get it professionally published. That's why she didn't post the last chapter to her website: readers had to comment to the blog and she'd email the chapter to them individually. To guard against theft.

[Boogalou]

It's on formergothardite. My audition to guest post a movie review on Miss Racquel's blog:

The Muppets (2011)

Isn't this poster...just like... ::blushes:: very cool ;) ??

I got to see this movie with my friend at a matinee showing (which, incidentally is why I missed all the fun on the other thread yesterday).

I cannot for the life of me pick a favourite between this and the Muppets' version of A Christmas Carol

As you know (or should know) the names of the Muppets I see no need to introduce them but I will anyway, for unspecified reasons... :)

Kermit...Kermit

Miss Piggy...Miss Piggy

Animal...Animal

--

Let me introduce some new characters to you now....

Walter as...

Walter

Isn't that a cool name??

He's a muppet, by the way.

And I really, really, really like him! :D

He's very cute, plushy, funny, and life like at the same time -- as Muppets should be :P

He has really cool hair too!!

--

Chris Cooper as...

Tex Richman

Needless to say... ^he^ is the "bad guy"... :S

Pretty creepy... and mean... and evil. Good actor though!

-------

As always, Kermit and Miss Piggy... worked together splendidly :)

haha Miss Piggy's outfit here ^ cracked me up! ... she always wears the most ironic clothes :P

GREAT PIC ^ (another arrow, just in case you can't figure out that I am talking about the picture my comment appears below)

But no... there's no love interest between them...

haha

YES, yes, yes!! They finally picked up Rowlf the Dog and the scene depicting it (at least part of it) is in the film. Isn't he adorable! ::squee::

Gary doesn't look bad either :P

Chickens are the best.

----

Much less "Christmas" than in The Christmas Carol

And actually, it was so intense and so filled with information that I was a bit confused by the end of it...

All I knew was that I loved it :)

and

that I would see it again to fully comprehend the story... haha

Which I fully plan on doing when it comes out on DVD...

Or even sooner... haha ;)

How was that? :::Can I guest post now?!? Squee! :::

[Daenerys]

Hee. I saw the thread title and thought, "Oh! Miss Raquel! What's she up to?"

Things I learned from her Sherlock Holmes review:

1. Holmes and Watson are in it.

2. There's a woman named Simka whose hair is nice.

3. Moriarty is the bad guy.

4. Holmes's outfits are "ironic," whatever that means.

5. Raquel didn't understand the end, but liked the story anyway.

And...that's it. Nothing on what the movie is about. What did it do well, and what didn't it do well? What confused her? This review tells me absolutely nothing about whether I would enjoy the movie or not.

She should stick to fictionals. I adore reading her fictionals.

I did think that she'd like Simka considerably less if she realised there's a fairly good chance the character is Muslim.

[formergothardite]

Here small sample of my fictional. Please do not try and copy this and publish it under your own name. It is that good.

May Belle let out a grown as she glanced down at the pregnancy test. "Not again!" she said sharply. "It seems like I get pregnant every single month. Time for another trip to the local Planned Parenthood. Want to go with me Susie?"

"May Belle, this is your 15th abortion this year alone, don't you think you should think about some other form of birth control?" Susie said with concern in her voice.

"Nah, why should I worry with pills or condomns when I can get a quick and easy abortion for free whenever I need it. They even give out an abortion reward card. For every five abortions, you get a trip to the spa. All the girls are doing it. You are missing out by going on the pill. You need to quit those things right away. I've heard their bad for your health anyway." May Belle said as she ran her fingers through her hair cut short like a man's.

She reached into the closet and pulled out a tight black mini skirt and paired it with a low cut spaghetti strap shirt.

"You coming or what?" she said, her voice revealing how annoyed she was and Susie.

"Okay, I'll guess I'll go, just to check it out and just in case you need some help after. This is a medical procedure you know." Susie said timidly.

"Susie, cutting your nails is a medical procedure but you don't see anyone getting all worried about that. You worry too much."

Susie stood up and brushed the wrinkles out of her pink skirt that fell modestly to her knees. She remembered when she was a child her Grandmother took her to protest against abortion at this very same clinic. Her grandmother was arrested for tackling a pregnant lady and Susie's parents were very concerned that Grandma had exposed her to graphic pictures of fetuses, so she was barred from ever seeing her again. Even though her parents had assured her it wasn't real babies being killed, part of Susie still wondered if perhaps Grandma was right. And worst of all, what if Grandma was there today and saw Susie going in? What would she think of her.

[dairyfreelife]

Even that is overly generous, IMO.

And as for trying to publish them, I remember when Raquel was writing the one about pregnant Lorena, she was very concerned that someone would steal the story, try to take credit for writing it, and get it professionally published. That's why she didn't post the last chapter to her website: readers had to comment to the blog and she'd email the chapter to them individually. To guard against theft.

I went for basic in my description since I haven't read it. And I added a word-who lack any depth-take out the are. Oops.

Lol, I don't think anyone wants her story, but if she was that concerned about it, she ought to post to safer site, like fiction.com (I think that's the name). Or she should ask people around her to read it and critic it and not post it online. I wouldn't post an original story on the internet, especially if I was concerned about theft. :shifty:

[formergothardite]

Boogalou, even though we are in competion, that review was sooooooooo good!!!!!! ::squealswithjoy::

Much less "Christmas" than in The Christmas Carol

That line alone just brought out the essence of the movie. ::happy face::

It is going to be hard to compete with you. ::hugs::

[samithemage]

I want more movie reviews and to hear more of the tale of May Belle and Susie. The writing in both of these is so spot on it's frightening.

[synchroswimr]

Here small sample of my fictional. Please do not try and copy this and publish it under your own name. It is that good.

May Belle let out a grown as she glanced down at the pregnancy test. "Not again!" she said sharply. "It seems like I get pregnant every single month. Time for another trip to the local Planned Parenthood. Want to go with me Susie?"

"May Belle, this is your 15th abortion this year alone, don't you think you should think about some other form of birth control?" Susie said with concern in her voice.

"Nah, why should I worry with pills or condomns when I can get a quick and easy abortion for free whenever I need it. They even give out an abortion reward card. For every five abortions, you get a trip to the spa. All the girls are doing it. You are missing out by going on the pill. You need to quit those things right away. I've heard their bad for your health anyway." May Belle said as she ran her fingers through her hair cut short like a man's.

She reached into the closet and pulled out a tight black mini skirt and paired it with a low cut spaghetti strap shirt.

"You coming or what?" she said, her voice revealing how annoyed she was and Susie.

"Okay, I'll guess I'll go, just to check it out and just in case you need some help after. This is a medical procedure you know." Susie said timidly.

"Susie, cutting your nails is a medical procedure but you don't see anyone getting all worried about that. You worry too much."

Susie stood up and brushed the wrinkles out of her pink skirt that fell modestly to her knees. She remembered when she was a child her Grandmother took her to protest against abortion at this very same clinic. Her grandmother was arrested for tackling a pregnant lady and Susie's parents were very concerned that Grandma had exposed her to graphic pictures of fetuses, so she was barred from ever seeing her again. Even though her parents had assured her it wasn't real babies being killed, part of Susie still wondered if perhaps Grandma was right. And worst of all, what if Grandma was there today and saw Susie going in? What would she think of her.

Ahahahaha!!!! Cherry coke zero on the phone (on the bus to get my computer fixed, so no keyboard...)

[Hane]

I hope she tries another fictional so I can give it the same treatment I gave her "Life's Choices" on the old Yuku FJ site.

Formergothardite, I started my version out snarky--but nowhere near as funny as yours!--but then it morphed into a self-imposed writing exercise: what if I had to write a serious, realistic story about a young woman who unintentionally got pregnant?

I'd look forward to another "stretch."

[dairyfreelife]

Here small sample of my fictional. Please do not try and copy this and publish it under your own name. It is that good.

May Belle let out a grown as she glanced down at the pregnancy test. "Not again!" she said sharply. "It seems like I get pregnant every single month. Time for another trip to the local Planned Parenthood. Want to go with me Susie?"

"May Belle, this is your 15th abortion this year alone, don't you think you should think about some other form of birth control?" Susie said with concern in her voice.

"Nah, why should I worry with pills or condomns when I can get a quick and easy abortion for free whenever I need it. They even give out an abortion reward card. For every five abortions, you get a trip to the spa. All the girls are doing it. You are missing out by going on the pill. You need to quit those things right away. I've heard their bad for your health anyway." May Belle said as she ran her fingers through her hair cut short like a man's.

She reached into the closet and pulled out a tight black mini skirt and paired it with a low cut spaghetti strap shirt.

"You coming or what?" she said, her voice revealing how annoyed she was and Susie.

"Okay, I'll guess I'll go, just to check it out and just in case you need some help after. This is a medical procedure you know." Susie said timidly.

"Susie, cutting your nails is a medical procedure but you don't see anyone getting all worried about that. You worry too much."

Susie stood up and brushed the wrinkles out of her pink skirt that fell modestly to her knees. She remembered when she was a child her Grandmother took her to protest against abortion at this very same clinic. Her grandmother was arrested for tackling a pregnant lady and Susie's parents were very concerned that Grandma had exposed her to graphic pictures of fetuses, so she was barred from ever seeing her again. Even though her parents had assured her it wasn't real babies being killed, part of Susie still wondered if perhaps Grandma was right. And worst of all, what if Grandma was there today and saw Susie going in? What would she think of her.

I just read through Raquel's fictional-the first three chapters anyway and I say, this is so close it's scary. And yeah, my descriptions were generous. Needs a lot of work. Hers, not yours.

[CynicMom]

I haven't seen the Sherlock Holmes sequel, just the original. That said.....

How sheltered do you have to be not to spot homoerotic tension when it's that blatant? I mean.... Sherlock Holmes is a Victorian gentleman who loves playing dress-up and never ever hangs out with women only his very best male friend who he lives with. ..... Am I mistaken or was the movie over-the-top obvious?

PS: I prefer the BBC series interpretation (either of them!) myself.

[shrewlu]

Here small sample of my fictional. Please do not try and copy this and publish it under your own name. It is that good.

May Belle let out a grown as she glanced down at the pregnancy test. "Not again!" she said sharply. "It seems like I get pregnant every single month. Time for another trip to the local Planned Parenthood. Want to go with me Susie?"

"May Belle, this is your 15th abortion this year alone, don't you think you should think about some other form of birth control?" Susie said with concern in her voice.

"Nah, why should I worry with pills or condomns when I can get a quick and easy abortion for free whenever I need it. They even give out an abortion reward card. For every five abortions, you get a trip to the spa. All the girls are doing it. You are missing out by going on the pill. You need to quit those things right away. I've heard their bad for your health anyway." May Belle said as she ran her fingers through her hair cut short like a man's.

She reached into the closet and pulled out a tight black mini skirt and paired it with a low cut spaghetti strap shirt.

"You coming or what?" she said, her voice revealing how annoyed she was and Susie.

"Okay, I'll guess I'll go, just to check it out and just in case you need some help after. This is a medical procedure you know." Susie said timidly.

"Susie, cutting your nails is a medical procedure but you don't see anyone getting all worried about that. You worry too much."

Susie stood up and brushed the wrinkles out of her pink skirt that fell modestly to her knees. She remembered when she was a child her Grandmother took her to protest against abortion at this very same clinic. Her grandmother was arrested for tackling a pregnant lady and Susie's parents were very concerned that Grandma had exposed her to graphic pictures of fetuses, so she was barred from ever seeing her again. Even though her parents had assured her it wasn't real babies being killed, part of Susie still wondered if perhaps Grandma was right. And worst of all, what if Grandma was there today and saw Susie going in? What would she think of her.

Intially, I didn't see that *you* wrote it, lol and I thought it was something she wrote!

[alba]

Here small sample of my fictional. Please do not try and copy this and publish it under your own name. It is that good.

May Belle let out a grown as she glanced down at the pregnancy test. "Not again!" she said sharply. "It seems like I get pregnant every single month. Time for another trip to the local Planned Parenthood. Want to go with me Susie?"

"May Belle, this is your 15th abortion this year alone, don't you think you should think about some other form of birth control?" Susie said with concern in her voice.

"Nah, why should I worry with pills or condomns when I can get a quick and easy abortion for free whenever I need it. They even give out an abortion reward card. For every five abortions, you get a trip to the spa. All the girls are doing it. You are missing out by going on the pill. You need to quit those things right away. I've heard their bad for your health anyway." May Belle said as she ran her fingers through her hair cut short like a man's.

She reached into the closet and pulled out a tight black mini skirt and paired it with a low cut spaghetti strap shirt.

"You coming or what?" she said, her voice revealing how annoyed she was and Susie.

"Okay, I'll guess I'll go, just to check it out and just in case you need some help after. This is a medical procedure you know." Susie said timidly.

"Susie, cutting your nails is a medical procedure but you don't see anyone getting all worried about that. You worry too much."

Susie stood up and brushed the wrinkles out of her pink skirt that fell modestly to her knees. She remembered when she was a child her Grandmother took her to protest against abortion at this very same clinic. Her grandmother was arrested for tackling a pregnant lady and Susie's parents were very concerned that Grandma had exposed her to graphic pictures of fetuses, so she was barred from ever seeing her again. Even though her parents had assured her it wasn't real babies being killed, part of Susie still wondered if perhaps Grandma was right. And worst of all, what if Grandma was there today and saw Susie going in? What would she think of her.

I love this! Much better than Racquel's version. Hers is impeded by the fact that it's in earnest.

[shrewlu]

Ok, I just gave up 20 minutes of my life to read all of "Life's Choices" - or at least all that she posted. She was worried about someone stealing that? Seriously?

It's like an anti-choicers wet dream version of someone "finding God".

[formergothardite]

In one of her posts where she brags about herself under the guise of talking about how "quirky" she is, she says that she has finished a novel and mailed it to a publisher. If she gets a book published, I swear I'm writing one too and sending it to the same publisher. . I can write crappy Christian novels too.

[Lostie]

In one of her posts where she brags about herself under the guise of talking about how "quirky" she is, she says that she has finished a novel and mailed it to a publisher. If she gets a book published, I swear I'm writing one too and sending it to the same publisher. . I can write crappy Christian novels too.

Ditto.

[Daenerys]

In one of her posts where she brags about herself under the guise of talking about how "quirky" she is, she says that she has finished a novel and mailed it to a publisher. If she gets a book published, I swear I'm writing one too and sending it to the same publisher. . I can write crappy Christian novels too.

Probably the same one who published the awful Moody books.