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::squealls:: Miss Raquel Reviews Movies


formergothardite

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I would like to put in a request for a movie review of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. I need to know if a modest maiden like myself should go see it.

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I would like to say that I think Miss Racquel's fear of people stealing her own work is well founded. After all, I pretty much copy and pasted her review word for word and just changed the character names and pictures. THAT'S when you know something is a good review, when it is applicable to every other movie in the world with only a substitution of character names...

Although, for all the pure maidens out there I forgot to mention the pre-marital kissing in The Muppets between both Gary and Mary and Kermit and Miss Piggy!!

I loved your fictional formergothardite. As a godless heathen, I could really identify with May Belle and I am excited she will get to go to the spa :::dances happily:::

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I would like to say that I think Miss Racquel's fear of people stealing her own work is well founded. After all, I pretty much copy and pasted her review word for word and just changed the character names and pictures. THAT'S when you know something is a good review, when it is applicable to every other movie in the world with only a substitution of character names...

Although, for all the pure maidens out there I forgot to mention the pre-marital kissing in The Muppets between both Gary and Mary and Kermit and Miss Piggy!!

I loved your fictional formergothardite. As a godless heathen, I could really identify with May Belle and I am excited she will get to go to the spa :::dances happily:::

Post abortion spa days are the best!

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I would like to put in a request for a movie review of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. I need to know if a modest maiden like myself should go see it.

I saw a foreign version of it and that was amazing. I'd to hear Miss Raquel's take on it as well.

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Although, for all the pure maidens out there I forgot to mention the pre-marital kissing in The Muppets between both Gary and Mary and Kermit and Miss Piggy!!

Too late, Boogalou, I'm a satanist now. And it's all your fault.

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Part two of a fictional I can't think of a name for:

"Who's driving?" May Belle said in a rough sounding voice.

"I will." Susie replied sweetly "You might be tired after the procedure, plus I just don't like driving around in that old truck of yours."

"Hey, don't bash Alfonzo. I've had some pretty good times in his bed." May Belle said with a raunchy smile.

Susie blushed, even after all these years of being friends, she still hadn't gotten used to May Belle's blunt ways of saying things.

She climbed into her car and put the address for Planned Parenthood into her GPS. After a few minutes of driving she was distressed to find out that they were driving through a rough part of town. She glanced nervously at the scantily clad women standing on the street corners. "You would think they would get cold just standing there like that." she said with a nervous giggle. 'They're hookers. You idiot." May Belle replied.

Tears formed in Susie's eyes. She wasn't used to being talked to this way. Why couldn't May Belle be nicer?

All of a sudden she heard a loud noise and with a trembling heart she realized her tire had gone flat.

"Do you know how to change a tire" she asked May Belle. "No. But maybe we can get someone to help us." "Who?!" Susie said with panic in her voice. "Look, there are two police officers arresting people for running a meth lab. I've slept with most of those guys getting arrested. In fact one might be the baby daddy of this blob I'm getting rid of." May Belle said excitedly. "Why don't we go ask one of the officers for help."

Just as Susie was getting to agree, the sun parted and it's rays shown down on a man standing near their car. He was dressed in pressed khakis, had a blue polo shirt, and his hair was comb neatly to one side. "Why don't we ask him?" Susie said. "You are going to go with a total stranger over police officers?" May Belle said with incredulity in her voice. "How do you know he wouldn't hurt us."

"My grandma always said you could tell a person's character by how they dressed and just look at him! A bad person would never iron their pants. Everyone knows they always wear wrinkled clothes in dark colors."

"Fine, suit yourself." May Belle said with a huff. "I'm going to see if I can hook up with one of the police officers. I've always had a thing for handcuffs."

As May Belle strutted off to flirt with the officers, Susie got out of the car and shyly started walking towards the welll dressed man.

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"the sun parted" *snort*

LOL. I did not proofread. Shocking I know. Especially with such a great work of art. I have spent minutes working on this fictional. It is hard, but all worthwhile things are.

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Ok, I just gave up 20 minutes of my life to read all of "Life's Choices" - or at least all that she posted. She was worried about someone stealing that? Seriously?

It's like an anti-choicers wet dream version of someone "finding God".

Then you're a braver soul than I. I gave up in disgust at the blatant Deus Ex Machina in Chapter Two. She just happened to let the radio stop on a Christian station that she wouldn't ordinarily listen to? Seriously? Miss Raquel needs to learn to write.

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In one of her posts where she brags about herself under the guise of talking about how "quirky" she is, she says that she has finished a novel and mailed it to a publisher. If she gets a book published, I swear I'm writing one too and sending it to the same publisher. . I can write crappy Christian novels too.

She won't. She needs an agent first, and the agent finds a publisher and editor. She won't get anywhere just mailing her fictionals off to publishing houses. Without representation, they'll just go in the trash. Small favors.

Wasn't she talking a few months ago about teaching a fiction writing workshop? I wonder what ever happened to that. If I paid money for a writing workshop and then found out Miss Raquel was leading it, I'd want my money back.

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Too late, Boogalou, I'm a satanist now. And it's all your fault.

I am sorry for causing you to stumble in your walk with Christ and will try to be more of an encouragement in the future. For now I am off to the prayer closet!!

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Ok, I just gave up 20 minutes of my life to read all of "Life's Choices" - or at least all that she posted. She was worried about someone stealing that? Seriously?

It's like an anti-choicers wet dream version of someone "finding God".

Now that you've read that drivel, I implore you to head to the old board and read Hane's "remake." It's really great and will wash that nasty taste of fundy out of your mouth.

I'd provide the link (I really should be able to, as many times as I've read and referred the damn thing) but I can't find it, as usual. Lissar? You've helped me out with this before, I believe.

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Guest Anonymous

Now that you've read that drivel, I implore you to head to the old board and read Hane's "remake." It's really great and will wash that nasty taste of fundy out of your mouth.

I'd provide the link (I really should be able to, as many times as I've read and referred the damn thing) but I can't find it, as usual. Lissar? You've helped me out with this before, I believe.

Happy to oblige. 8-)

http://freejinger.yuku.com/topic/2303/S ... al-by-Hane

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LOL. I did not proofread. Shocking I know. Especially with such a great work of art. I have spent minutes working on this fictional. It is hard, but all worthwhile things are.

On behalf of all of FJ, I thank you for your sacrifice.

I am sitting here in my cube turning purple as I struggle not to laugh out loud, because I am supposed to be working like a grownup. But you are causing me to fall into the sin of stealing my employer's time. Darn you to heck.

ETA: Thank you so much for your kind words. I am in the middle of the Project From Hell at work and your positive feedback is making me feel so much better. <3<3<3

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