Jump to content
IGNORED

Courtesy of the Seppi blog, it's Shoshanna's Cramp Tincture


Deleted12

Recommended Posts

midol works fine for me.

On a different note, are the Seppis Lutheran? This Reformation Day celebration by the fundies has me entertained. Are they aware of what Reformation Day was? Doubt it, as a lot of what Martin Luther posted they would immediately shun as "not Christian"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Every time I look at your avatar I think Doug is wearing a prison issue jumpsuit. The color is pretty similar to the ones they were in LA County.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Shoshanna's Cramp Tincture honestly makes a better sleep aid--chamomile and valerian? Sure, they'll relax your uterus (cramps are just contractions) but you'll be a zombie throughout your period, if you weren't before.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Shoshanna's Cramp Tincture honestly makes a better sleep aid--chamomile and valerian? Sure, they'll relax your uterus (cramps are just contractions) but you'll be a zombie throughout your period, if you weren't before.

Sounds weird!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's vodka flavored with herbs that ferments for six weeks. Um, yeah, if I took that I might feel better too.

*Edited because I left out words.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's vodka flavored with herbs for six weeks. Um, yeah, if I took that I might feel better too.

I make a pot tincture (my great Aunt a Russian herb lady would do the same), and add some catnip and herbs and use a good homemade vanilla vodka at 100 proof. Use with caution...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's vodka flavored with herbs for six weeks. Um, yeah, if I took that I might feel better too.

I just had some "cramp tincture" made with Bacardi, OJ, lime mineral water, and grenadine, and it really helped! :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When I was in high school, we weren't allowed to drink, of course. My best friend's brother solved that problem for us. He made home-made flavored vodkas. After it sat for however many weeks with raspberries or whatever, he strained the fruit and let us eat it. Best fruit ever. Until we had way - way - too much one night. I haven't been a vodka fan since.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have horrible cramps monthly that nothing otc will even touch.

My midwife suggested in all seriousness doing shots and taking a hot bath and see if that helps at all.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have horrible cramps monthly that nothing otc will even touch.

My midwife suggested in all seriousness doing shots and taking a hot bath and see if that helps at all.

I like my magic bag, but I lost it :(

Have you tried raspberry leaves tea? it helps me...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I make a pot tincture (my great Aunt a Russian herb lady would do the same), and add some catnip and herbs and use a good homemade vanilla vodka at 100 proof. Use with caution...

If it's good enough for Queen Victoria, it's good enough for the rest of us :D

I give my cats valerian sometimes. It's like turbo catnip.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think I'll stick with ibuprofen. Lots and lots of it. I don't know who invented the stuff but that person has my eternal gratitude.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think I'll stick with ibuprofen. Lots and lots of it. I don't know who invented the stuff but that person has my eternal gratitude.

That's basically the purpose of the white willow in the tincture. Willow bark? Oldest aspirin there is!

The only really useful herb in the mixture is the cramp bark, and frankly I'd rather just have a cramp bark tincture in a little rum to hide the taste. :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That's basically the purpose of the white willow in the tincture. Willow bark? Oldest aspirin there is!

The only really useful herb in the mixture is the cramp bark, and frankly I'd rather just have a cramp bark tincture in a little rum to hide the taste. :D

Hey thanks! I remembered my friend giving me the name of a tincture, but could not remember the name of it. I'll try to get some!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think cramp bark is supposed to be useful. Aspirin of any type never works for me. It just gives me a stomachache. Heat and exercises don't work well either. Usually I just have to wait for the day to pass. Before I started on birth control, I was in horrific pain for a week straight and absolutely nothing helped. Now it's down to one day. Not sure what these poor fundie girls do if they had my condition. God bless birth control. I mean that. Even better, the type that lets you only have a cycle every three months (best blessing ever!)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Before I got on birth control, I'd be in horrible pain for a day or two, and bleed very, very heavily. Birth control lightened my flow a LOT (I rarely have to use 'super' tampons!) but I still can't get rid of the cramps, no matter what I take.

It never occurred to me to have alcohol, but I'm still too young to legally buy or drink alcohol. Of course I can't have this particular tincture since it's got willow bark in it, and it's advised that people with asthma and aspirin allergies don't take willow bark... plus I'd probably just get sick from the alcohol. :(

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I just mix cramp bark and water together and wash it down with a spoonful of honey. Throw in some motrin or midol every other month, when it gets seriously painful. One month it was so bad, I was a freshman in college, that I took muscle relaxants prescribed for my back. I thought I was dying. Its never been that bad again *knock on wood* but it seriously scarred me for life.

I can't do hormonal birth control, even though its been recommended for my cramps and for my skin, so I'm a big fan of anything herbal. But valerian is for sleepytime. This whole tincture seems to sum up fundie attitude towards women: quit your bitching and go to sleep!

ETA: She sounds fucking scary in that video. And acetaminophen occasionally is not going to destroy your liver. Its also acetaminophen, not just tylonel, I don't get the referring to things by brand name. I'd be more concerned about the vodka, seriously. It seemed a little like a parody at that point...here is this seriously scary fundie girl who hates women grabbing a forty and telling you to strain and enjoy!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Looks to me like Shoshanna has just reinvented Lydia Pinkham's herbal tonic, which kept thousands of women in the 19th century happily and respectably tipsy, during menstruation and between periods.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've found that one of the best forms of cramp relief is sex. An orgasm is a wonderful thing.

Yea, that does not work when you are single.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In my experience, it is easier to get things done yourself when you are in pain. It is too easy for a partner to move wrong and make it worse.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Anonymous

Anyone else reminded of the "Lily the Pink" song?

Here's a story, a little bit gory,

A little bit happy, a little bit sad,

Of Lily the Pink and her medicinal compound,

And how it slowly drove her to the bad.

Meet Ebenezer, thought he was Julius Caesar.

So they put him in a home.

And then they gave him medicinal compound,

And now he's Emporer of Rome.

We'll drink a drink a drink

To Lily the pink the pink the pink

The savior of [the savior of] the human race.

She invented medicinal compound.

Most efficacious in every case.

Meet Johnny Hammer had a t-t-terrible s-s-stammer.

He could b-barely say a word.

So they gave him medicinal compound,

And now he's seen, but never heard.

And Freddie Clinger, the opera singer,

Who could break glasses with his voice they said.

So on his tonsils he rubbed medicinal compound,

And now they break glasses over his head.

And Mr. Frears, who had sticky out ears.

And it made him awful shy.

So they gave him medicinal compound,

And now he's learning how to fly.

And Uncle Paul, he was very small. He

Was the shortest man in town.

So on his body he rubbed medicinal compound,

And now he's six foot, but it's underground.

Lily died and went up to heaven.

Oh, the church bells they did ring.

She took with her medicinal compound.

Hark the herald angels sing.

I found a video on youtube, the lyrics are a bit different, but that's typical in traditional songs. Everyone seems to have their own version.

MJIZGTYHhWI

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.



  • Recent Status Updates

    • BlackberryGirl

      BlackberryGirl

      Ohh jeeze, GrandBerry6 just came to me, snuggled his face in my neck and barfed, all over me. In my neck, in my hair, on my face, down inside my nightie all over the front of my nightie. Ohh FUCK! Bath, washed hair, cleaned sofa. Good times, good times.
      · 0 replies
    • Scrabblemaster

      Scrabblemaster

      I danced through my living room feeling awesome. From time to time I do this. Maybe wine is involved. Good music is definitely involved. It is awesome. I recommend it to you. With or without wine.
      · 2 replies
    • Hazelbunny

      Hazelbunny

      After a few months of trying to decide what kind of new computer to get and my brother telling me a Mac would be the best decision I could ever make and my sister telling me that would be the worst and I ought to stick to Windows.... I now have a used Mac. I am trying to get used to it. Not easy, but the Magnifying program is a lot better than the Windows one (that was the ultimate reason for my decision) and FJ works a lot better than on my 10-year old Laptop, too!!  
      · 0 replies
    • WannabeHistorian

      WannabeHistorian

      Y'all, holter monitors suck. And naturally the palpitations that caused this test to be ordered are remarkably absent today. 
      I'm off to go work out in the hopes that triggers it. T minus 10 hours till I get this thing off. 
      · 4 replies
    • 47of74

      47of74

      Fuck Fornicate.  Glad I got in to see this place before the world went to shit.
       
      · 0 replies
    • PreciousPantsofDoom

      PreciousPantsofDoom

      I frigging hate the toilets at this worksite. Specifically the door locks. Stupid little knoblet that isn't clear if it is locked or not. Door opens right off the main hallway and the toilet is just far enough from the door that I can't just hold the door shut in case I've got the lock wrong. I mean really people, how hard is it to design this? I just want to pee in private with no anxiety. Apparently that is too much to ask for. 
      · 1 reply
    • 47of74

      47of74

      First thing I'm doing when I get to the hereafter is finding the ancestors who moved to the US in the first place and asking them what the fuck they were thinking moving here in the first place.  Along with giving them an epic the reason you suck speech hopefully in the presence of God and the Lord Jesus Christ Himself to all of them for condemning their descendants to living in a shithole.
      · 0 replies
    • feministxtian

      feministxtian

      Its STILL snowing. Its not like I don't have a million things to do and need to take crap to the dumpster. 
      · 2 replies
    • Chocolate Lover

      Chocolate Lover

      Do any of you play Dyson Sphere Program?   For those who don't know what it is I'd suggest Googling it, because there's no way I could do it justice. 
      There's always just one more thing to do before I turn off.  Blink!  And it's 2 hours later.  
      · 0 replies
    • Granwych

      Granwych

      I have a chance to undergo esketamine treatment for depression.  If any FJers have any thoughts, I’d appreciate them.
      · 3 replies
  • Recent Blog Entries

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.