The Allen Family - another singing & (grifting) missionary in an RV

[Lurky]

The Allen Family has a one-off TLC special that was just recently shown on UK tv.  They're another singing Missionary RV family, like the Rodrigues and Willis families, and the show was as weird as you might imagine, with tons of emphasis on purity, bus life as a family of 12, homeschooling and children having to sing for their supper.  They've featured on FJ before, most comprehensively in this thread:

Basically, they seem to be a much more polished and successful version of the Rods, and Jill Rodrigues must be jealous as anything (though while they were certainly grifty, never on the level of grifting a whole house) - and they had a tour bus where they slept 13 and ALL THE CHILDREN HAD THEIR OWN BUNK!!11!!!1!!111!!

Their blog is hard to follow because their writing styles are pretty bad, and they don't date their entries, so they may or may not be missionarying in Uganda right now, but surprisingly for griftionaries, they've been involved in some actually useful projects, like raising cash to get sanitary products for girls, so they can attend school while on their periods. I especially liked the upside -down photos....

They had their own YouTube channel, but I couldn't watch - the "comedy" gave me terrible second hand embarrassment, but their singing is pretty polished.  I'm a little bit confused about how singing to churches is a Mission, as that's pretty much exactly "preaching to the convertd", but their show seems pretty slick, and they look like they're having fun when they do it.

The older daughter Gabriella had a very smug SAHD blog, but her twitter is now all about shilling MLM with her sweet husband

(They're also economical with the truth - Gabriella said on her wedding site that  "I travel the world with my family 365 days a year", and in the TV show they claim their oldest son and his family live on the bus, though eagle-eyed FJers spotted the fact that a) they blogged they were off the bus for 5 months that year, and b.  they blogged about going to visit the older son in his house...)

One of the boys, Jared, is choosing to wear a tie every day because he's always in the presence of God (it makes him stand out in a huge family) and  has written a book about his life: 

http://www.theanonymousnovelist.com/store/

The Guardian reviewed their show here:

https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2014/oct/29/home-sweet-bus-review-13-evangelical-christians-in-a-campervan-allen-family

Enjoy!

[Howl]

The Guardian article also refers to the Paskowitz family, who I often think of in reference to these large patriarchal (Christian or otherwise) families where the dad had an elite professional degree, and the bazillion kids get zip for education that will advance them in the world: 

Quote

Even more striking than their contrast from the Honey Boo Boo clan is their similarity with the Paskowitz family, of the 2007 documentary Surfwise. Before settling down to start the famed Paskowitz Surf Camp in San Diego, father “Doc” Paskowitz, a Yale-trained physician, packed his family of 11 into a 24ft camper to travel the country, spreading their version of the Gospel: secular Judaism, surfing and strict vegan diets.  Surfwise catches up with all nine children, now adults, many with families of their own, and their parents to explore the effect their unconventional childhoods had on their lives. Though on the surface a living fairy tale of free love, sand and smoothies, the adult Paskowitz children carry varying amounts of sadness, anger and resentment toward their parents for the opportunities denied to them. A frequent trope of Surfwise is the claim that their beautiful, free-spirited childhoods literally deprived them of any skills needed to be successful adults, both practically and emotionally.

 

[Lurky]

Ugh, if there's one thing that drives me crazy, it's parents who benefited from education, but deny it to their children in the name of experimental lifestyles.  From Kelly Bates absolutely loving her reunions with her old school friends, to people like the Allens, who met at college, but won't let their kids go, and now these.

The Surfwise film is in parts on YouTube, if anyone wants to see it - part 1 has the daughter talking about how she was scarred sexually by her parents having sex in front of her.

[LadyCrow1313]

7 minutes ago, Lurky said:

Ugh, if there's one thing that drives me crazy, it's parents who benefited from education, but deny it to their children in the name of experimental lifestyles.  From Kelly Bates absolutely loving her reunions with her old school friends, to people like the Allens, who met at college, but won't let their kids go, and now these.

The Surfwise film is in parts on YouTube, if anyone wants to see it - part 1 has the daughter talking about how she was scarred sexually by her parents having sex in front of her.

That just squicks me out. I haven't seen said film (& most likely won't); was it accidentally (which is one thing), or on purpose? If it was done purposefully, that is just some 100%, Grade A nasty shite right there.

[Lurky]

2 hours ago, LadyCrow1313 said:

That just squicks me out. I haven't seen said film (& most likely won't); was it accidentally (which is one thing), or on purpose? If it was done purposefully, that is just some 100%, Grade A nasty shite right there.

They were 12 or 13 people squished into a van, so the parents made this bed for their daughter at the foot of their bed, and then had sex at the end of the night.

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, Lurky said:

They were 12 or 13 people squished into a van, so the parents made this bed for their daughter at the foot of their bed, and then had sex at the end of the night.

Oh fuck. I've always assumed these traveling fundie families have always had this issue. I bet at least one child from each giant fundie RV traveling family has accidentally caught their parents because no one has any privacy. 

[Iokaste]

Quoting myself from another thread here:
"They are the stupidity, the smugness , the selfaggrandising and overestimating, the holier-than-thoug of the Rodses, the Duggars, the Willis Clan and the Batses all rolled into one! It's like they have refined the art of being insufferable to a whole new and previously unforseen level, do no, I repeat, DO NOT go there, dear FJ's!"

Adding: and the  creepiness of the Arndts.
I seriously think this is the most offputting QF/Fundy-family I've come across so far. I can't put my finger on exactly why, but they are obviously very smitten with their own holiness and have a very distinct culty vibe going on, that combined with the "boyband of the 90ies" hairstyles and mannerisms of the sons, is just seriously disturbing.

As my friends said, when I showed her a video: "The only thing relatable about them is their acne".  

[LadyCrow1313]

15 hours ago, Lurky said:

They were 12 or 13 people squished into a van, so the parents made this bed for their daughter at the foot of their bed, and then had sex at the end of the night.

I had to re-read this to make sure I was reading it correctly. The parents couldn't wait to go outside & get their freak on away from their daughter, or do said freaking when no one else was in the van? What assholes. More importantly, poor girl.

[Howl]

1 hour ago, LadyCrow1313 said:

I had to re-read this to make sure I was reading it correctly. The parents couldn't wait to go outside & get their freak on away from their daughter, or do said freaking when no one else was in the van? What assholes. More importantly, poor girl.

Self absorbed patriarch.  Can't be bothered to care about his children in an appropriate way, even though he insists on having as many of them as his wife can bear. 

[MamaJunebug]

47 minutes ago, Howl said:

Self absorbed patriarch.  Can't be bothered to care about his children in an appropriate way, even though he insists on having as many of them as his wife can bear. 

Sums up so many of these idiots, and I'm willing to include the "matriarchs" as well. 

My mind returns to The Rev. Dr. Marcus Serven, with at least 2 degrees, maybe 3, patriarch of my gateway family. All to his and Mrs. Serven's glory did they produce 9 kids and then keep their 2 eldest daughters at home artificially long to raise the youngest. 

The eldest boys - all married, 2 with children - work as a telephone order taker, a freelance photographer, and ... I don't know what Nathan does. The 3 married daughters all SAHMs, at least 2 with Etsy shops. 

Not one of those kids ever expressed a desire for actual job training after "graduation" from the "Serven Genius Academy"? What, not one??

Maybe the Drewster or the other youngest son will figure out the need to have some sort of trade. I've never been a go-getter but once I fell into something I could do well, I got all the training I could, all thru my working years. I just do not get it. 

[DancingPhalanges]

20 hours ago, Lurky said:

Ugh, if there's one thing that drives me crazy, it's parents who benefited from education, but deny it to their children in the name of experimental lifestyles.  From Kelly Bates absolutely loving her reunions with her old school friends, to people like the Allens, who met at college, but won't let their kids go, and now these.

The Surfwise film is in parts on YouTube, if anyone wants to see it - part 1 has the daughter talking about how she was scarred sexually by her parents having sex in front of her.

Thanks to FJ, I found this on Netflix and watched it this morning. It's hard to explain how weird it is, the bizarre statements made by the parents are sprinkled through the entire documentary so you have to watch it all the way through. The kids, their anger and resentment are hard to watch. The end was too tidied up and hard to believe. Sad also that one of the kids plans to try and replicate the lifestyle. 

[Howl]

My newspaper profiled a family running a successful brewpub three or four years ago.  The mom and dad both had college degrees; dad played college football.  They had a ton of kids -- probably around 8*.  At some point previous, the parents had a conversion experience and went total fundamentalist.  The kids all worked in the family business, but the dad clarified that the daughters would not be allowed to date, ever, and not kiss anyone before marriage.  I remember thinking, "Well that's weird".  I course, I didn't realize at the time that they were my gateway fundy family!  

Anyway, same deal.  Mom and dad went to college, lived life, had experiences, but were completely intent on denying their children advanced  education.  The kids are luckier than many fundy kids because they interacted with many different people working in the brewpub. 

*Eight seemed like a lot of kids at the time, before I was introduced to mega families through FJ. 

[EyesOpen]

I think the Allen Family is coming to a church local to me. I'm debating going to see them but I have brunch too so I'll have had mimosas and... that might be bad!