Interesting take on opposition to gay marriage

[NachosFlandersStyle]

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/cafe/gay-m ... on-vs-love

From Amanda Marcotte:

In reality, however, there was a subterranean argument that actually is logical and makes perfect sense. It was never just about man-woman marriages. The tradition that is disappearing is the belief that marriage is a duty, especially for women. As Douthat argues, Americans are rejecting “the old rules, its own hopes of joy and happiness to chase.â€

Douthat isn’t wrong on the facts, even if he’s wrong on his assessment of them. It’s true that women in modern society no longer feel like they have to be married to be granted entrance into adult society. Single women living by and supporting themselves is no longer considered scandalous. Marriage is, bit by bit, becoming more about a partnership between equals who choose each other for the purpose of love and happiness. Which means it’s becoming less about giving men control over women’s lives.

In this sense, Douthat isn’t wrong that “support for same-sex marriage and the decline of straight marital norms exist in a kind of feedback loop.†To accept same-sex marriage is to accept this modern idea that marriage is about love and partnership, instead of about dutiful procreation and female submission. Traditional gender roles where husbands rule over wives are disintegrating and that process is definitely helped along by these new laws allowing that marriage doesn’t have to be a gendered institution at all.

I tend to agree with this, and wonder why it doesn't get stated more often. "Traditional marriage" isn't just about having two different sets of genitals in the relationship, it's a dog-whistle for a whole different world of gender relationships and power structures. I don't have enough experience with the fundagelical world to know how central or explicit this line of thinking is, though.

[Eternalbluepearl]

That was interesting, thanks for that, NachosFlandersStyle. It makes sense.

[Howl]

Excellent read. Thanks for posting!

[mirele]

I hate reading Ross Douthat. He's such a scold. He reminds me of people like Owen Strachan, who have a particular idea of male-female relations and can't deal with anything outside of that. However, Douthat has a column in the Times, so he needs to be countered on a regular basis.

Signed, middle-aged never married woman with a job and a mortgage.

[NachosFlandersStyle]

I hate reading Ross Douthat. He's such a scold. He reminds me of people like Owen Strachan, who have a particular idea of male-female relations and can't deal with anything outside of that. However, Douthat has a column in the Times, so he needs to be countered on a regular basis.

Signed, middle-aged never married woman with a job and a mortgage.

Lol, I usually try to avoid reading anything that even mentions the guy, because he's not worth my attention. But a friend quoted this on Facebook and I made an exception.