Derrick Waller and Jennifer Wilkes engaged!

[xReems]

Pecan's older brother, Derrick, is engaged to Jennifer Wilkes (thewilkesteam.com). Pecan posted the pic on his Instagram and it looks like another no touch courtship/engagement. She's really pretty and Derrick isn't that bad looking. I say 2 months engagement and a July baby.

[ViolaSebastian]

I find it interesting that his older brother wasn't pressured to settle down around the same age that David's parents put the screws to him about getting married. I wonder why not?

[Milly-Molly-Mandy]

His parents are less concerned that he was gay?

[Milly-Molly-Mandy]

That was a genuine suggestion by the way, I wasn't being smart or trying to be rude.

[halcionne]

I think it's a good guess. The parents are far more worldly than their children, and it's often said that a mother knows well before the child does. How much of that is based on unfair stereotypes is anyone's guess. In any case, Adam got married at nearly 32 as well, so it could be that mom and dad sensed something 'off' in David.

I always kind of shipped Derrick with Sarah Maxwell--two lonely hearts over the age of 30.

[JillyO]

Can anybody tell me how old she is?

[teachergirl]

I believe she is only about 20/21,,,,,she "graduated" from homeschool a few years back and I think she is a twin????? They had a post on their website but I could be mistaking her for another wilkes child.......

[xReems]

I find it interesting that his older brother wasn't pressured to settle down around the same age that David's parents put the screws to him about getting married. I wonder why not?

It is interesting that the parents were more concerned with David getting married and not as concerned with Adam and Derrick. There must have been something in Pecan's journal that raised concern for the parents which is why it seems like the wedding was forced upon.

[anjulibai]

I agree the reason David was pressured to marry and not his older brothers is because David is gay and the parents know.

What's sad is that they know it is innate, but still think it's such a sin that they have to force their son to be straight and marry. No matter how miserable it makes him or his wife or children.

It's sickening to do that to your own child.

I wonder if David knows himself.

[Jana814]

Interesting comparison of Derrick & David. So he is 32?

[BullyJBG]

The Wilkes family hasn't posted anything on their blog for almost a year! This would be the third wedding and first daughter. Yeah, they're a "no-touch" family it seems; I saw that with both Josh and Lisa's pre-wedding photos, and Matthew and Amanda's. Maybe hesitant on what to put because of the Bill Gothard thing and their involvement with ATI/IBLP? You can't even scroll, or look for their older posts! Yeah, I remember there were boy-girl twins; the names David and Sarah sound right. But now there isn't even anything that says in what order they were born.

Yes, they look good together. Wishing them the best. Yeah, I too went "aw darn" for women like Sarah Maxwell and Ruth WIssmann. Ruth I don't worry about as much; she seems to have a good balance of singing with the family and doing her own thing. Sarah? Already discussed, right?

Priscilla's comments are so cute; "now we'll be related to the Wilkes family". They've got the Duggar family, the Mueller family, who's next? Maybe one of David's sisters with a Bates son? Okay, gotta stop; then I'll wonder if David and Priscilla have met the Maxwells. Or will? This is shaping up to be VERY interesting.

But, I would LOVE to see how a no-touch courtship/engagement leading to wedding would play out on 19 Kids and Counting. We'll see if that happens.

[Mela99]

She's cute.

Their website is interesting. Apparently they dress up like presidents and their wives and talk...

[Jana814]

Their website is interesting. Apparently they dress up like presidents and their wives and talk...

Saw that post. Not sure if its interesting or creepy.

[xReems]

Matthew Wilkes' and Amanda's courtship story is very odd and interesting-

1) What 8 year old lies in bed, wondering if he's going to wake up the next day and end up in Hell?!

2) Amanda's father sent Matthew an 85 questionnaire to complete

3) Amanda's father broke the news to both families of the courtship. No time for joy, though, it's prayer time as they get to know each other.

Strange, very strange, family..

[IReallyAmHopewell]

Matthew Wilkes' and Amanda's courtship story is very odd and interesting-

1) What 8 year old lies in bed, wondering if he's going to wake up the next day and end up in Hell?!

2) Amanda's father sent Matthew an 85 questionnaire to complete

3) Amanda's father broke the news to both families of the courtship. No time for joy, though, it's prayer time as they get to know each other.

Strange, very strange, family..

Welcome to the world of Gothard's primer families.

[BullyJBG]

Matthew Wilkes' and Amanda's courtship story is very odd and interesting-

1) What 8 year old lies in bed, wondering if he's going to wake up the next day and end up in Hell?!

2) Amanda's father sent Matthew an 85 questionnaire to complete

3) Amanda's father broke the news to both families of the courtship. No time for joy, though, it's prayer time as they get to know each other.

Strange, very strange, family..

Point 1, that happens with many church kids; not just fundies. Point 2, typical. Point 3, I could see how, since these families are so close to each other, that if there was a break-up, there would be awkwardness, and both fathers, and possibly mothers, are scared of that. Come to think of it, maybe Jimbob and Michelle and Gil and Kelly secretly fear that as well? Some have asked just that after Zach and Sarah broke up, like if they still keep in touch with the Reith family. She said they still talk sometimes, and the Reiths wish Zach and Whitney well, and then about their upcoming CD. Hence, why they don't announce a courtship; just an engagement. Hopefully they don't ever experience the Munck-Maxwell thing.

[antwan]

I agree the reason David was pressured to marry and not his older brothers is because David is gay and the parents know.

What's sad is that they know it is innate, but still think it's such a sin that they have to force their son to be straight and marry. No matter how miserable it makes him or his wife or children.

It's sickening to do that to your own child.

I wonder if David knows himself.

When GLBT had to demand, for so long, for the freedom to live their lives without judgement and speculation about innate vs. choice, etc., why on EARTH would anyone force a label on David? So gay has a "type" and only certain males fit it? And if a male tends to demonstrate traits or choices which are accepted and/or labeled as traditionally "feminine", we conclude he is gay? If he hasn't shown interest in a female (but hasn't shown interest in a male, either), fundie or not, we suspect gay?

Wow. :think: So much for allowing people to simply BE. I don't see any misery in David, Priscilla, or their children at this point. That, too, is subjective suggestion. Listen, I get the snark. I really do. But given how serious the cause (GLBT), history of divisiveness and even violence, and how wrong it is to jump to label or to presume to know what a person's sexual orientation is, I think talk of David being gay is both extremely insensitive to him and his family (no matter what you think of them) AND to those who desire to handle the reality and desired level of privacy regarding their sexual orientation. I mean, how appropriate would it be to suggest that Meredith Baxter couldn't possibly be lesbian? I mean, she shows all the signs of being in denial about her "true" sexual preference. Multiple relationships with men, heterosexual marriages, children with men, no former desire toward women,..."surely" she's in denial, right?

:think:

[halcionne]

The Wilkes family hasn't posted anything on their blog for almost a year! This would be the third wedding and first daughter. Yeah, they're a "no-touch" family it seems; I saw that with both Josh and Lisa's pre-wedding photos, and Matthew and Amanda's. Maybe hesitant on what to put because of the Bill Gothard thing and their involvement with ATI/IBLP? You can't even scroll, or look for their older posts! Yeah, I remember there were boy-girl twins; the names David and Sarah sound right. But now there isn't even anything that says in what order they were born.

Yes, they look good together. Wishing them the best. Yeah, I too went "aw darn" for women like Sarah Maxwell and Ruth WIssmann. Ruth I don't worry about as much; she seems to have a good balance of singing with the family and doing her own thing. Sarah? Already discussed, right?

Priscilla's comments are so cute; "now we'll be related to the Wilkes family". They've got the Duggar family, the Mueller family, who's next? Maybe one of David's sisters with a Bates son? Okay, gotta stop; then I'll wonder if David and Priscilla have met the Maxwells. Or will? This is shaping up to be VERY interesting.

But, I would LOVE to see how a no-touch courtship/engagement leading to wedding would play out on 19 Kids and Counting. We'll see if that happens.

FWIW, I can see two years + of posts in feedly.

[Georgiana]

Does anyone know what Derrick was doing before this? Did he have a big project or was heavily involved in mission work?

I'm trying to find alternate reasons why David was pressured to marry and Derrick wasn't...

[halcionne]

When GLBT had to demand, for so long, for the freedom to live their lives without judgement and speculation about innate vs. choice, etc., why on EARTH would anyone force a label on David? So gay has a "type" and only certain males fit it? And if a male tends to demonstrate traits or choices which are accepted and/or labeled as traditionally "feminine", we conclude he is gay? If he hasn't shown interest in a female (but hasn't shown interest in a male, either), fundie or not, we suspect gay?

Wow. :think: So much for allowing people to simply BE. I don't see any misery in David, Priscilla, or their children at this point. That, too, is subjective suggestion. Listen, I get the snark. I really do. But given how serious the cause (GLBT), history of divisiveness and even violence, and how wrong it is to jump to label or to presume to know what a person's sexual orientation is, I think talk of David being gay is both extremely insensitive to him and his family (no matter what you think of them) AND to those who desire to handle the reality and desired level of privacy regarding their sexual orientation. I mean, how appropriate would it be to suggest that Meredith Baxter couldn't possibly be lesbian? I mean, she shows all the signs of being in denial about her "true" sexual preference. Multiple relationships with men, heterosexual marriages, children with men, no former desire toward women,..."surely" she's in denial, right?

:think:

I agree with the spirit of your post. It seems, though, that David Waller's own parents are the ones who are guiltiest of the attitude in bold.

Georgiana, Derrick runs the family farm in Wisconsin (I think?) while the rest of the family travels on ATI "business" and when they were on long-term missionary trips to Mongolia. I will try and cite this, brb

ETA: visionserve.org/2014/12/from-our-home-to-yours/ Christmas 2014 update says this:

Derrick continues to farm on the home front, as well as the many other acres he rents and owns. He has around 50 head of cattle that he raises for beef.

Derrick was the main driver for a 9 week, 12,000 mile road trip that he and three of the other guys in our family took. Their main goal was to encourage other families as they gathered to fellowship around the Word of God. They put on many miles and seemed not only to encourage those they connected with, but were also very encouraged themselves. We live in a hurting world. I think many of us can agree with that. It is especially important during these times that we can be encouraged through God’s Word.

I also remember Derrick and John David Duggar driving on a bus trip to Alaska at some point. But wait, how does he run the farm while he's gone for nine weeks? :think:

[Georgiana]

Thanks halcionne!

If anything, I would think running the farm would put him under MORE pressure to marry, not less.

While I have always been slightly suspicious about Davey, I had always assumed that the pressure from his parents was just how they were and that any unmarried child above a certain age would have an equal amount of pressure to marry. However, that doesn't seem to be the case at all. It seems that their treatment of David was unique.

Re-reading David's story in this light, I now think his parents seem more motivated by fear than I thought before. Now it seems as though the immense amount of marriage pressure they put on David is because they are afraid...perhaps afraid that he will never marry otherwise or perhaps afraid that he would come out with a reason why he cannot marry.

Whatever David's orientation, it seems his PARENTS were worried that he would not settle down with a woman on his own. There is a sort of feeling among some (perhaps many) fundies that a "Godly Heterosexual Relationship" will "cure" other sexual urges. Perhaps his parents were worried about his sexual orientation and pushed him into a marriage to "make sure" he was hetero. Doesn't mean he was/is gay. There are many heterosexual men who have more feminine tendencies. But it seems his parents may have been worried about his not wanting to get married.

[RosyDaisy]

Must be the mods day off or the prayer closet is full.

[halcionne]

Must be the mods day off or the prayer closet is full.

Can you clue the rest of us in? I reported my own post for unbroken links, btw. Mods don't know there's a problem unless it gets reported, and if I've done something wrong I want to know. David Waller has been married and out of his parents' house for several years, and his situation is discussed here on the regular, so, what am I missing?

[happy atheist]

Can you clue the rest of us in? I reported my own post for unbroken links, btw. Mods don't know there's a problem unless it gets reported, and if I've done something wrong I want to know. David Waller has been married and out of his parents' house for several years, and his situation is discussed here on the regular, so, what am I missing?

This conversation is not breaking any rules. Speculating about what someone's parents might have thought when s/he still lived at home is very different from speculating about someone who still lives at home.

Now I'll go break the links.

[CatNap]

1) A bit OT, but I'm intersted to know - do any of you FJs know what's going on with the Wilkes family? They haven't posted in their blog since July '14, their son Josh (and wife Lisa) haven't posted in over a year, since the birth of their 2nd baby (did they have another one since? are they expecting?) Their son Matthew (and wife Amanda) haven't posted since July '14 as well (Are they expecting again? What's their daughter's name? it was never disclosed anywhere).

2) OT as well, but very snark worthy IMO. In his personal story, Matthew Wilkes says "As I watched Joshua, my own flesh and blood, approach the marriage altar with a manly step, then being married and enjoying the beauty of married life, the Lord began to show me with greater clarity how wonderful and Christ-like it is for a young man to find a wife".

WTF? How is it in any way Christ-like to get married? Not only was Jesus unmarried, he (and Paul) actually regarded celibacy as a higher calling than marriage.

Do these people actually read the whole bible, or just the parts that suit them and their agenda?