A religion for the in between

[Eternalbluepearl]

Just a personal question: I was raised catholic and was into it until a few years ago. (I'm 30.) all of a sudden I don't believe the Bible is true anymore and I believe that the Jesus story is just a myth, a hero story that has been passed down for generations. However, I DO still believe in God, I still pray to him and am comforted by talking to him. I still believe in heaven. I have no clue where this leaves me in terms of a religion. Is there a name for someone like me? Just curious...I had just booked a Protestant church for my wedding and now I'm not so sure I want Bible talk at my ceremony!

[HoneyBunny]

Check out the Universal Unitarian church. I'm in the same boat as you, truly believe a Higher Power but can no longer buy anything in the Bible (including the birth of Jesus, which makes me very sad). I haven't found a church home yet, but am most intrigued by UU.

[Eternalbluepearl]

Thank you. My fiancé and I did try a Unitarian Universalist church for about a year and didn't end up liking it. Ours was so focused on certain aspects that I just couldn't relate. Could just be that one church. It just seemed like all they talked about was the gay community and not much else. I'm pro gay rights and have gay friends, and think you should be loud and proud about whoever you are sexually speaking and otherwise but it was literally all the reverend spoke about. I think it was less inclusive than they intended.

[Phoenix]

The common term is "recovering Catholic". As Honey Bunny noted many people in your shoes (and mine) end up at Unitarian Churches. I find them a little too general. I researched the Episcopal Church because they are so close to the Catholic but are progressive on some key issues such as female priests. Turned out to be still too conservative for how my beliefs were changing, but that was me. Might be different for you.

If it helps any at it's most basic a sacramental marriage is between the couple, their community (guests, family friends) and God. The outer form isn't all that important.

I have a couple hang-ups like "obey" but I don't think it is used in many mainstream Christian churches these days. The priest who married me laughed when I brought it up. He had never used it. If that happens to be one of your pet peeves ask your celebrant and make sure it won't come up during your big day.

Frankly most people promise all sorts of things on their wedding days and end up changing their minds as life unfolds. It frequently isn't a matter of deception, but life experiences change us and sometimes we have to re-evaluate along with our spouses. So don't panic if that happens with you. It is common. When people give me grief I tell them if Winston Churchill could change his mind and switch political parties I can change mine about major life issues.

Best wishes and I hope you have a wonderful and love filled wedding day!

[Hane]

Thank you. My fiancé and I did try a Unitarian Universalist church for about a year and didn't end up liking it. Ours was so focused on certain aspects that I just couldn't relate. Could just be that one church. It just seemed like all they talked about was the gay community and not much else. I'm pro gay rights and have gay friends, and think you should be loud and proud about whoever you are sexually speaking and otherwise but it was literally all the reverend spoke about. I think it was less inclusive than they intended.

As a Catholic-turned-UU, I can tell you, "If you've seen one UU church, you've seen one UU church." The one you attended may not have been a good fit for you. If it's possible, you might try visiting another.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Deist? United Church? Reform Judaism? Noahide? Baha'i?

[Eternalbluepearl]

Thank you all for the kind responses! It's so refreshing to hear that others are in the same boat.

[antwan]

I was raised Catholic, attended public school until 6th grade, then Catholic through highschool. I do believe in the trinity, but rejected other teachings, such as pergatory, prayer to Mary, etc. We attend a non-denomination church, and I choose to search the scriptures for myself, to question, verify, or clarify.

[feministxtian]

I'm also a "recovering Catholic" who found a home in the Independent Christian Churches. They're the moderate arm of the Church of Christ. The CoC is too fundie for me and the Disciples of Christ is a bit too liberal. But, I'm rather conservative theologically and it suits us.

[realist51]

I'm also a "recovering Catholic" who found a home in the Independent Christian Churches. They're the moderate arm of the Church of Christ. The CoC is too fundie for me and the Disciples of Christ is a bit too liberal. But, I'm rather conservative theologically and it suits us.

If you are talking about the United Church of Christ (UCC), I will second this. I think I have cycled through all the more progressive religions--Friends, Unitarians, Episcopalians--and it was at a UCC church that I finally found intelligent discussion about what to do with not "believing" in certain aspects of religion. I went from being disdainful of ANYONE who believed religious myths to understanding how those myths have focused the attention of communities on certain shared values. That is, I learned to see myths as serving a useful purpose rather than as the purview of weak thinkers. I don't "believe" in Jesus in the sense that I think he was a real person who did many or most of the things attributed to him. I "believe" in the idea of Jesus in that, as a community, we should set our sights on internalizing something like the golden rule.

[browncoatslytherin]

i have been almost exactly where you are, pearl. i was raised fundy, borderline ati (and ati for a spell). and throughout certain events, i just started backing away. i started going to a great non-denominational church and felt that i could still be christian...but some more life events happened, i felt like my church abandoned me, and i floundered for years in agnostic theism - the belief that there is a higher power, but no devotion to a particular religion. i spent a lot of time soul searching to figure out what it was exactly that i truly believed, in my heart. these days, i identify as pagan. my brother, who grew up in the same environment, claims buddhism. it's quite the journey, and can be exhausting and frustrating at times, but it's so worth it. you don't have to decide what you believe right away, just take your time to get to know your soul, and you'll find your way. :)

[ButterscotchEquinox]

You might consider a Friends (Quaker) meeting. Some groups are quite liberal about statements of belief. You may also want to look for another UU group, as they do tend to be as different as the individuals within a particular congregation. And have you done any study of Judaism? Depending upon your personal convictions, that could be a fit for you.

[docmom]

I'm in sort of a similar situation- raised church of Scotland, believe in a higher power. Not too keen on most of the bible. We go to an Episcopalian church which I've found to be very accepting. The liturgy (similar to Catholic) is the unifying concept but beliefs vary widely. Our current church is quite liberal but our first one was amazing- gay priest, open,affirming congregation. I think if we'd stayed I might actually have started believing again. Anyway, I think for many churches, as was said about the UUs, if you've seen one, you've seen one. Keep checking around. In the end, it's really the people who make up the church who matter. We've made some of closest friends at church despite my heretical views.

[16strong]

If you want to find a church, your best bet might be to look into some sort of non/inter-denomination church that leans liberal. I find that without a denomination to adhere to, more focus is put on worship and loving others- at least the one I attended. However, a friend of mine's family attended a non-denom that was pretty conservative, so you kind of have to attend and see- it's a mixed bag. You will still have to deal with the bible and its elements, though, so idk.

Another thing you might want to think about is starting your own small group for people that share your beliefs. Don't underestimate the human need to belong. There are lots of people out there like you (me! :D ), and such a group would probably be pretty popular.

[realist51]

Another thing you might want to think about is starting your own small group for people that share your beliefs. Don't underestimate the human need to belong. There are lots of people out there like you (me! :D ), and such a group would probably be pretty popular.

You might want to check out the Sunday Assembly movement.

http://www.npr.org/2014/01/07/260184473 ... s-up-steam

[nelliebelle1197]

Just a personal question: I was raised catholic and was into it until a few years ago. (I'm 30.) all of a sudden I don't believe the Bible is true anymore and I believe that the Jesus story is just a myth, a hero story that has been passed down for generations. However, I DO still believe in God, I still pray to him and am comforted by talking to him. I still believe in heaven. I have no clue where this leaves me in terms of a religion. Is there a name for someone like me? Just curious...I had just booked a Protestant church for my wedding and now I'm not so sure I want Bible talk at my ceremony!

My best friend is Catholic but is pretty much the same way. Her idea of god (or she really prefers a more feminine leaning goddess deity) is one of comfort and spiritual connectedness. She loves the ritual and tradition of the Catholic church and traditional education a Catholic school affords her son. She says her prayers to Mary, not God or Jesus. I think you can separate your need for spiritualism from the legalism/doctrine of organized churches and still be part of the church in which you are more comfortable. It just takes time and a lot of soul searching. If you are happy with your Catholic rituals, for example, but not the church as a whole, then I know you can find a way to meld the two into something satisfying!! And I understand why the UU turned you off. Pretty much every UU'er I know is amazing (two of my best friends are UU from birth) but I would not like their brand of religion either.

Also, if there is a Jesuit Catholic church around you, take a look. Jesuits make me want to be Catholic! I know there a 50 or 60 Jesuit parishes in the US (I am not Catholic, btw. I just like Jesuits!)

[nelliebelle1197]

Also, look for some social justice Episcopals or even liberal Methodists. We have an amazing liberal Methodist congregation here that is mostly old hippies, gays and lesbians and transgendered!

[iateallthebrownies]

i have been almost exactly where you are, pearl. i was raised fundy, borderline ati (and ati for a spell). and throughout certain events, i just started backing away. i started going to a great non-denominational church and felt that i could still be christian...but some more life events happened, i felt like my church abandoned me, and i floundered for years in agnostic theism - the belief that there is a higher power, but no devotion to a particular religion. i spent a lot of time soul searching to figure out what it was exactly that i truly believed, in my heart. these days, i identify as pagan. my brother, who grew up in the same environment, claims buddhism. it's quite the journey, and can be exhausting and frustrating at times, but it's so worth it. you don't have to decide what you believe right away, just take your time to get to know your soul, and you'll find your way. :)

I could have typed this nearly word-for-word. It's a comfort to know there are others like me. If you don't mind me asking, how do you express your spirituality these days? I also identify as pagan.

[Cheetah]

A liberal ELCA (Lutheran) might be a good fit as well, depends on the individual church and pastor. We do confess the Apostle's creed ("I believe in... Jesus Christ his only son... etc) so officially it's not the best fit. However, a lot of Lutheran churches in more liberal areas are way more focussed on doing good in the world and are full of lapsed Catholics, protestants who take a lot of the Bible stories as mythology, people who think as you do. My own church has a gay pastor.

[Deesire]

Great thread! The link to Sunday assembly seems apt for me, as it appears one is launching in my area later this month.

Seems like what I've been looking for, myself. Hopefully, OP also finds some potential pathways for what she's been looking for too...

I've been wanting to live my life and do thing in the name of humanity (rather than in the name of God)... like embrace many values and ideals that are often spoken of within religions (including Catholicism, which I, too, was raised in), but without the belief in god.

For OP though, this may not be the right alley.. for one who still believe in God (but not in Jesus as part of or particularly related to god) Judaism may be worth pursuing... but, when one does not believe in the biblical god... then... it's not so clear to me that there is a fit for that.

OP, it sounds like you are a deist but I'm not sure what outlet is out there for you.

[misslady]

Another vote for UCC for now. The one I attend (infrequently) starts every service with "No matter where you are on your journey or what you believe, we welcome you." They love questioners. There's still some Jesus (especially if they sing out of the old hymnal) but they're more into social justice and good works. There is no creed in the service, so you don't have to stand up and say you believe anything.

Might be worth checking out, anyway. Even if you're not sure about the Jesus-thing. I like their version of Jesus a lot more than some others I've encountered, IYKWIM.

[Eternalbluepearl]

Thank you all! It feels awesome to be understood. My imagining of God is this: I believe God is up there, listening to everyone's prayers and helping everyone out but I believe man wrote the Bible and God is probably up there going "what?! I didn't say that! What is wrong with these people? And I keep hearing about this Jesus guy, I don't know who started that rumor but I got one kid named Rick and he's not someone you'd wanna be basing a religion on, trust me. And it's really my wife that runs everything anyway. Oh well, they'll figure it out someday..."

[GiGi_41]

As a Quaker, I'd recommend a FGC liberal Quaker meeting. Expect an hour of silence and maybe a potluck!

[ShadowyOne]

A liberal ELCA (Lutheran) might be a good fit as well, depends on the individual church and pastor. We do confess the Apostle's creed ("I believe in... Jesus Christ his only son... etc) so officially it's not the best fit. However, a lot of Lutheran churches in more liberal areas are way more focussed on doing good in the world and are full of lapsed Catholics, protestants who take a lot of the Bible stories as mythology, people who think as you do. My own church has a gay pastor.

This: to the bolded. I was raised liberal ELCA, and now attend a liberal Episcopalian church, and was going to chime in to suggest one of those, but they both still have the trappings of the Apostle's creed, the Lord's Prayer, bible verse readings, etc., which the OP may not be comfortable with. My pastor knows that I pretty much identify as atheist, though, and she doesn't mind at all (I go because I like the community, and being involved in their social justice activities, and because it was important to my husband to have our child baptized, and I was not comfortable having her baptized in the Catholic Church, so Episcopalian was our compromise.)

I agree that a different UU community might be a better fit, or if you can research Ethical Humanist societies in your area, that might work for you. There is one in our area that is quite large, and structured much like a church, with Sunday services, and even their own version of Sunday school. I might go there myself if it wouldn't cause my ultra-Catholic in-laws to have massive aneurysms. :)

[ShadowyOne]

Stupid tapa. Double post, sorry.