Do you want your dad deciding your birth control?

[SunnyAndrsn]

I'm someone who can not tolerate chemical birth control. It sends me into depression. This is one of the few perks of being infertile--no need for birth control. Had we been fertile, my husband would have had a vasectomy or I would have had my tubes tied instead of dealing with the side effects from birth control.

I tried depo when I was 21, and it was horrible. We used condoms instead. Then when we were trying to get pregnant and couldn't, I had to be on the pill for a short period of time prior to starting our IVF cycle. There were several times over the years when I had issues with my cycle where my MD put me on the pill, and it was always a disaster. Best case scenario, I'm a zombie. Worst case, I can't get out of bed.

Didn't mean to derail the topic...just that I'm one of those weirdos who have nasty side effects.

On topic, as far as my father is concerned, I have no sexual organs. My mother repeatedly stated that she hoped we'd come to her (it wasn't necessary for me, I wasn't sexually active in high school), but I never would have been able to do that. My sister went to Planned Parenthood when she started having sex.

[Mama Mia]

If you have raised your children in an open environment where you are respectful of their choices, chances are high that they will come to you regarding birth control anyway. For those who are NOT comfortable or willing to talk to their parents, this indicates that the parents are unwilling to respect their child's autonomy and choices.

Also, if your kids want to have sex, they will. If you are strongly against it, they'll do their damnedest and likely succeed in you not knowing about it. So, parents who feel they have the right to know the sexual practices of your children, you have two choices: 1) lobby hard to FORBID your kids from making their own life and healthcare choices and run the risk of your children getting pregnant or an STD; or 2) realize that even though you don't agree with your children's choices, it's far safer and better for all concerned for them to have private access to birth control.

I'm going to object, again, to the idea that somehow you're failing as a parent if your teens don't come to you with their choices regarding their sex lives. Not all of them do, and it does not mean you are a failure as a pRent. It means that particular teen, who is an individual, with their own personality, might want to keep that information private. While I preferred my kids talked to me about those kind of choices - I didn't feel it was somehow their obligation to talk to me about their sex life. That's why, IMHO, it's important for ALL teens to have confidential, free access to birth control. As a parent I would prefer to know what medications they take, but I think when it comes to sex or mental health or substance abuse ( the areas that are exempt from parental notification or consent in my state) -- the consequences of not getting help outweigh the potential issues of parents being kept in the dark - for whatever reason.

[Ivycoveredtower]

I'm someone who can not tolerate chemical birth control. It sends me into depression. This is one of the few perks of being infertile--no need for birth control. Had we been fertile, my husband would have had a vasectomy or I would have had my tubes tied instead of dealing with the side effects from birth control.

I tried depo when I was 21, and it was horrible. We used condoms instead. Then when we were trying to get pregnant and couldn't, I had to be on the pill for a short period of time prior to starting our IVF cycle. There were several times over the years when I had issues with my cycle where my MD put me on the pill, and it was always a disaster. Best case scenario, I'm a zombie. Worst case, I can't get out of bed.

Didn't mean to derail the topic...just that I'm one of those weirdos who have nasty side effects.

On topic, as far as my father is concerned, I have no sexual organs. My mother repeatedly stated that she hoped we'd come to her (it wasn't necessary for me, I wasn't sexually active in high school), but I never would have been able to do that. My sister went to Planned Parenthood when she started having sex.

I was put it on the pill when I was 19. I was on it for about a year for cramps but had to stop taking it because it caused horrible side effects. Throwing up and horrible headaches. So I don't think I'd ever take that chance again but as for the topic at hand my dad didn't/doesn't care and wouldn't even if I had been younger and my mother is in the camp if someone wants to have sex they are going do it and so she'd rather someone be safe. really being super strict doesn't work that well either. I knew plenty of kids when I was younger who had horribly strict parents and most of them were having sex before they even graduated HS.

[Mama Mia]

I do think though, that given some of the side effects of prescribed medications can be very, very serious - someone the teen knows should be informed of what the medication is. I don't think it needs to be a parent, if that's not who the kid wants -- but an aunt, teacher, family friend, sibling, boyfriend, best friend -- somebody as an emergency contact who will know what's going on if suddenly the kid has a psychotic episode or passes out or something. One of. My girls had a horrible reaction to a medication - and it scares me to think what could have happened if there was no way to quickly let the Doctor know what she was taking.

[RosyDaisy]

I was on BCPs as a teenager for medical reasons. It didn't phase my father one bit. In his mind, I was sick and that was what I needed to feel better. End of discussion. My parents weren't worried about me all of a sudden becoming sexually active just because I had been prescribed BCPs.

ETA: I had to stop taking BCPs in my mid 20s because of a blood pressure condition.

[formergothardite]

If my children are under the age of 18 and on my health insurance plan, you bet I don't want them to be able to get birth control without my consent. I respect the choice of the next parent to liberally approach the matter, but in our home, we would not want to be unconcerned with whether or not our underage children are sexually active, and whether or not specific forms of birth control should be available to them without our cosent. We don't share the culture's more callous view of teen sexual activity (that's not to say we're looking to rule over legalistic courtships). Having needed BC for severe cramping, I am well aware of other reasons why it might need to be taken. But given the risks and potential side effects, there is NO way I would want my teen to be able to venture into BC without our input, knowledge, and consent.

I suspect that my parents hold the same views on teen sex as you do. The only ones in my family that did not have sex as an underage teen were the ones being raised during the ATI years where we were literally not given the opportunity to be close enough with other teens to have sex. I'm pretty sure my parents have convinced themselves that the only one who really had teenage sex was the one who got pregnant.

Unless you are going to go the route where your teens are locked up(it did stop sex as a teenager from even crossing my mind) if they want to have sex they will. And if they know they can't access birth control without you knowing they will try other ways to prevent pregnancy that might not be as successful. Hopefully they will use condoms, but the fear of being punished if they are caught with them very well prevent them from doing that.

[Jessica]

I don't know how people got "I will never let my daughters take birth control pills" out of my post that said "I want to know if they are taking birth control pills". Jeez. I almost put in my original post "this doesn't mean I won't let them take it" but decided it was overkill. Maybe not!