The Most Neglected Duggar Kid

[mebeforee]

It's really hard to say, here... my instinct makes me say Jordyn and Jenny, because they're still so little and seem to not be getting the kind of attention and guidance they desperately need. (The fact that Josie speaks so well has always struck me as evidence of the added parental care that she got, especially when compared with Jordyn). The howler boys (who I can tell the difference between even if their parents can't, because I'm sadly that obsessed and invested in these children who have nothing to do with me) are old enough now that we haven't seen any real questioning of their growth or intellect or whatever. While I'm sure they don't get nearly as much care as they deserve, with the littlest kids there has been a lot more public attention because of the show, so there's been a lot of questions and concern about their development. While I feel that because of the tender age they're in, Jenny through Josie really need the most attention from their parents, I really don't know whether the older kids ALSO needed that and didn't get it. I think probably everyone below Joy was lacking in guidance, and perhaps Joy and Josiah too. Part of that stems from the fact that in the first special (which I recently watched), Jedidiah was trying to participate in the scripted introduction and accidentally said, "My name is Josi - Jedidiah Duggar!". What, he couldn't remember his own name? The crew couldn't have re-shot it? Whatever the situation, it really saddened me because that alone indicates that he wasn't really thinking about his individual self, but trying to read his name off a list. Maybe someday a kid will write a book and we'll know for certain whether or not the parents were more active and attentive without the cameras, but at the moment, we just don't know what the situation is.

All the kids are neglected, but different people need different amounts of attention and care. Some children will be alright with minimal parental attention, and some need it all the time. (I myself need a LOT of time alone... I can only spend a few hours with my wonderful, loving, involved parents or my intelligent and delightful - but still annoying, because they're boys - brothers before I need to excuse myself. Otherwise I get stabby.) To decide who is the 'most neglected' comes down to which child suffers most from the lack of parental involvement, and I think that's hard to say without knowing how the kids themselves feel. As long as they truly, 100% believe in every cell of their body that their parents "love you forever, like you for always" etc, they might never view the lack of individual attention as a bad thing.

[EmeraldPickle]

I say all 19 of them are/were neglected. I think Josh get's more attention from his parents now than he ever did when he lived with them. All 19 of them are just puppets in the money making circus that Boob and DQ have created. Once the kid is off the tit it's off to the buddy because Mommy has got to go fellowship with Daddy and make more blessings otherwise God is going to send us to live with Satan in the afterlife. They have taken zero interest in their children after infanthood and probably can't name a single true non-generalized fact about any of their children. They foster their children to have no personality until they are married and are shoved out into the world to deal with life after two decades plus of being told what to do, how to do it, and when to do it. Then you end up with people like Josh Duggar who is nothing more than a overgrown boy.

[ILoveJellybeans]

That is just so sad that little Jed forgot his own name once. I imagine its hard for them to develop their own identity because of the repressive ideology of the cult they were raised in-theres only so many options available to them, compared to other kids who could be anything and anyone they want. Also they are treated as one of a set-a whole bunch of similar looking kids, all beginning with J, smiling for the crowd and playing their violins together. Most people see them as one person in 19 bodies-they all love pickles and God, have exactly the same beliefs and opinions, and don't like all the same things.

They are trained to not have a personality other than the personality their parents assign to all of the kids-sometimes you can see a bit of individuality leak through, like that Josiah is sensitive and Jessa is unemotional, that James is loud and Jenny is quiet...but they have only the smallest differences and it took joining FJ to be able to learn to tell the kids apart and notice individual things about the kids. They are pretty much treated like one of a big crowd of similar kids. I wouldn't be surprised if some of them had no clue about their own identity. They don't have one.

How often do their parents speak to one child individually or individually think of their needs, instead of all 19 of them, or boys/girls, or oldest/middle/youngest. I bet with all the similar names, their parents often call them the wrong name too. It happens to most parents, even with two kids (or even with one child who they accidentally called the dog's name), but with 19 similar names??

[Four is Enough]

I'll agree that all of the children have been neglected to some extent, in different ways. Josh is probably the only one to have been doted upon for any length of time. He's still a BOOB, though. I'd love to have the boys from Jed to Jackson. I'd give 'em love and individual attention.. AND an education at a real school.

[Walking Cat Bed]

I'd say Jana's one. Smuggar was already the Golden Child when she (and JD) was born, and she's the oldest girl and had to learn to take care of everyone else very, very early. And then the much-cited jewelry box and Journeys have only shown her that what she wants (or NEEDS) is irrelevant, her JOB is to parent her younger siblings.

[nastyhobbitses]

It's really hard to say, here... my instinct makes me say Jordyn and Jenny, because they're still so little and seem to not be getting the kind of attention and guidance they desperately need. (The fact that Josie speaks so well has always struck me as evidence of the added parental care that she got, especially when compared with Jordyn). The howler boys (who I can tell the difference between even if their parents can't, because I'm sadly that obsessed and invested in these children who have nothing to do with me) are old enough now that we haven't seen any real questioning of their growth or intellect or whatever. While I'm sure they don't get nearly as much care as they deserve, with the littlest kids there has been a lot more public attention because of the show, so there's been a lot of questions and concern about their development. While I feel that because of the tender age they're in, Jenny through Josie really need the most attention from their parents, I really don't know whether the older kids ALSO needed that and didn't get it. I think probably everyone below Joy was lacking in guidance, and perhaps Joy and Josiah too. Part of that stems from the fact that in the first special (which I recently watched), Jedidiah was trying to participate in the scripted introduction and accidentally said, "My name is Josi - Jedidiah Duggar!". What, he couldn't remember his own name? The crew couldn't have re-shot it? Whatever the situation, it really saddened me because that alone indicates that he wasn't really thinking about his individual self, but trying to read his name off a list. Maybe someday a kid will write a book and we'll know for certain whether or not the parents were more active and attentive without the cameras, but at the moment, we just don't know what the situation is.

All the kids are neglected, but different people need different amounts of attention and care. Some children will be alright with minimal parental attention, and some need it all the time. (I myself need a LOT of time alone... I can only spend a few hours with my wonderful, loving, involved parents or my intelligent and delightful - but still annoying, because they're boys - brothers before I need to excuse myself. Otherwise I get stabby.) To decide who is the 'most neglected' comes down to which child suffers most from the lack of parental involvement, and I think that's hard to say without knowing how the kids themselves feel. As long as they truly, 100% believe in every cell of their body that their parents "love you forever, like you for always" etc, they might never view the lack of individual attention as a bad thing.

While I am sure that part of the J naming is to make the kids feel less like individuals and more like a unit (their parents even sometimes just refer to them by their number in the "lineup", as I recall), I call myself the wrong name from time to time and I only have one younger sibling (whose name begins with a different letter, natch, but my parents still call me by her name and her by my name occasionally, or a weird amalgamation of our names when they can't decide whom they want to address). Once I was performing a song with my friend Samwise (name obviously changed for privacy) at an open mic night and introduced ourselves to the crowd as "Hi, I'm Samwise and this is Samwise..."

[Feberin]

I think it depends in what way you characterize neglect. If we're talking about meeting physical needs then I would think Jinger, Joseph and Josiah would probably have been the ones most left to fend for themselves. When Jinger was born the other kids were 5, 3, 3, 2 and 1. Even Josh wouldn't have been able to be much help. When Joseph was born the others were 6, 4, 4, 3, 2 and 1 so not much better. When Josiah was born the others were 8, 6, 6, 5, 3, 2 and 1. I feel like at this point Michelle is starting to have some kids who are able to be independent. Michelle according to a chat says they started the buddy system when Josh was around eight years old so I would assume it around the time Josiah was born. This was the point when she was able to start having her older kids help the younger ones out. I would assume before this the baby was frequently forced to wait while Michelle tried to at least meet some of the needs of her other children. Plus as Jinger, Joseph and Josiah grew up they were probably ignored by older siblings who were busy with younger siblings and ignored by Michelle.

If we're talking about getting attention from parents then I think it would be either the Howlers or Lost Girls. It's hard since we don't know if Michelle was more involved when the Howlers were younger and also do you count blanket training as attention from parents? I mean I consider it abusive but I guess she is watching them carefully so she can slap them with a flexible ruler.

I actually don't think Jana is one of the most neglected children. I think she probably gets more attention from her parents then most because she is the oldest daughter. I also don't think Michelle was as overwhelmed when the twins were born. I mean twins had to be pretty exciting for Michelle and her first little girl to dress up in cute clothes. I think she was probably more likely to ignore Josh then Jana when she was a baby. Also since Michelle having a baby wasn't some annual occurrence to be expected each year like it became for many years and they may have still attended a mainstream church I wouldn't be surprised if Michelle had people to help her out after the twins were born. Possibly even when Jill was born a little over a year later. I would assume it would have been when Jessa or Jinger were born that people would have started realizing that she was just going to have baby after baby and started backing away from that craziness. I think Jana was definitely the most hardest worked child and they had very high expectations and literally beat her into submission. I think most abused would be a better label for Jana then most neglected.

[pineapple450]

I think the older girls were never lacking for attention, because they spent the most time with their mom organizing for trips, cooking dinner, etc. They shared the bond of childcare (as creepy as that is to say). And now they play such large roles in the show, have their own book, and their own interests (sort of). Think back to one of the first specials when Michelle is trying to describe the children's personalities (although I will say, its probably pretty hard to differentiate between 6 boys under 6 in extremely meaningful ways, when they've all had the same upbringing and play together all the time), she is most specific with the older kids, and then it sort of falls apart after Joy.

But attention does not necessarily rule out neglect. I would say that the older girls were most certainly emotionally neglected, not allowed to run and play and express themselves for as long as Joy and the Lost Girls. For instance, can you see Jana being allowed to say she never wanted to get married at age 8? No, I'm sure they were carefully monitored so that any free will/independent thoughts were thoroughly stamped out. In some ways, the Howlers and Lost Girls have it way better (yes less attention) but they have much more freedom of expression & thought. Joy and Hannie seem to have next to no chores (or at least no more than the regular fare for all the kids), while Jana/Jill (I think those are the ones who said the cook most often), have been cooking meals & cleaning up for everyone since age 10 or younger.

[Toothfairy]

All of them. None of them had parents in their lives who truly looked out for their needs. The older girls were raising babies when they were babies. The younger kids don't get any attention, except maybe Josie

[freejoyannatoo]

I'd be inclined to say Jenny. She is very quiet and looks so serious, and of course now Jill's married, she's lost her mother. That must have been extremely traumatic for her, but I don't suppose anyone in the family noticed. Except maybe Jill, but she's not there any more and has her shiny new life to lead.

[sockinshoe]

They're all terribly neglected and it's so sad because these could be beautiful, talented, thoughtful people and to see the potential be sucked right out of them by their parents is really depressing.

So while I agree that either Jana or Jordyn are the most neglected on the surface, there's a couple other kids I'd like to highlight. John David and Joseph were never "cute" or outgoing, so they were never really money-makers and therefore get ignored by their famewhore parents (which could be a good thing, but probably sucked when they were in their most pubescent states and really needed parenting).

Jinger is also ignored in favour of more beautiful, courting Jessa. I can imagine that there is some resentment there. Remember when Jinger was mischievous and spunky and we all thought she'd be the one to run? Well that seems to have been an act-out-for-attention phase in retrospect. The camera loved Jinger and her quirky antics for a while.

Jessa was always more regal (a little princess), so Jinger had to be the "jester". Jinger also hasn't been featured much at all in the last couple seasons, which means she's losing her money-making ability a la JD and Joseph. Also she's now losing the sibling closest to her in age and personality, which means she will be very very alone unless she makes some non-Duggar friends (as if) or gets married (and even if she does, that's no guarantee that she'll have more contact to Jessa/more opportunity to make friends).

[Mama Mia]

I think it depends in what way you characterize neglect. If we're talking about meeting physical needs then I would think Jinger, Joseph and Josiah would probably have been the ones most left to fend for themselves. When Jinger was born the other kids were 5, 3, 3, 2 and 1. Even Josh wouldn't have been able to be much help. When Joseph was born the others were 6, 4, 4, 3, 2 and 1 so not much better. When Josiah was born the others were 8, 6, 6, 5, 3, 2 and 1. I feel like at this point Michelle is starting to have some kids who are able to be independent. Michelle according to a chat says they started the buddy system when Josh was around eight years old so I would assume it around the time Josiah was born. This was the point when she was able to start having her older kids help the younger ones out. I would assume before this the baby was frequently forced to wait while Michelle tried to at least meet some of the needs of her other children. Plus as Jinger, Joseph and Josiah grew up they were probably ignored by older siblings who were busy with younger siblings and ignored by Michelle.

If we're talking about getting attention from parents then I think it would be either the Howlers or Lost Girls. It's hard since we don't know if Michelle was more involved when the Howlers were younger and also do you count blanket training as attention from parents? I mean I consider it abusive but I guess she is watching them carefully so she can slap them with a flexible ruler.

I actually don't think Jana is one of the most neglected children. I think she probably gets more attention from her parents then most because she is the oldest daughter. I also don't think Michelle was as overwhelmed when the twins were born. I mean twins had to be pretty exciting for Michelle and her first little girl to dress up in cute clothes. I think she was probably more likely to ignore Josh then Jana when she was a baby. Also since Michelle having a baby wasn't some annual occurrence to be expected each year like it became for many years and they may have still attended a mainstream church I wouldn't be surprised if Michelle had people to help her out after the twins were born. Possibly even when Jill was born a little over a year later. I would assume it would have been when Jessa or Jinger were born that people would have started realizing that she was just going to have baby after baby and started backing away from that craziness. I think Jana was definitely the most hardest worked child and they had very high expectations and literally beat her into submission. I think most abused would be a better label for Jana then most neglected.

I agree. It definitely seems like the most neglected as infants/toddlers would be Jinger /Joe/Josiah. That was just too many little kids at once.

I agree with others who've said that overall it's probably that huge pack of howler boys who fell through the cracks. Although I've always found it interesting, and actually a positive on behalf of Jim Bob and Michelle that they haven't lumped Jackson in with that big group of boys. They still put him with the little girls, and it seems he even usually sleeps in the girls room( or did until a couple years ago, last time I noticed it). So that does show some sense of respect for kids individual personalities.

As far as Jordyn, I think she actually gets a lot of attention from Jim Bob and is very close to him. Which makes sense given he was her primary parent after Josie was born. He's often seen carrying her around or she's close to wherever he is.

There was an Instagram photo of Jennie that just broke my heart. She was so obviously upset about Jill leaving to get married. And on her birthday they posted a photo of he with Jill, and she was just beaming from ear to ear. She must miss her so much!

[AussieKrissy]

I agree. It definitely seems like the most neglected as infants/toddlers would be Jinger /Joe/Josiah. That was just too many little kids at once.

I agree with others who've said that overall it's probably that huge pack of howler boys who fell through the cracks. Although I've always found it interesting, and actually a positive on behalf of Jim Bob and Michelle that they haven't lumped Jackson in with that big group of boys. They still put him with the little girls, and it seems he even usually sleeps in the girls room( or did until a couple years ago, last time I noticed it). So that does show some sense of respect for kids individual personalities.

As far as Jordyn, I think she actually gets a lot of attention from Jim Bob and is very close to him. Which makes sense given he was her primary parent after Josie was born. He's often seen carrying her around or she's close to wherever he is.

There was an Instagram photo of Jennie that just broke my heart. She was so obviously upset about Jill leaving to get married. And on her birthday they posted a photo of he with Jill, and she was just beaming from ear to ear. She must miss her so much!

Yes I think Jenny will really be feeling it, I saw how she took Jill just being in Nepal. She looked so forlorn and lost when they all went to a neighbours house to skype Jill and that was only a short trip. I can only imagine her now that she has gone forever. :(

[RosyDaisy]

You have 19 kids here. All of them are neglected to some extent.

[artdecades]

Jordyn and Jennifer.

Jennifer is lucky that she had a super involved buddy like Jill. Jenny was/is a sensitive and clingy kid (not that there is something wrong with that when you are little, it just contrasts to someone like Johannah who was always more independent). It seems like JB and Michelle always acted as if it was weird or funny that Jenny was scared of things that Hannie liked to do and whatnot. She really clung to Jill and it seems like she still does. I worry about her now that Jill is out of the house, since she is still a very little kid who needs a parent.

Poor Jordyn. Jordyn didn't even have a good buddy. I don't blame Jessa for being detached because Jordyn shouldn't have been her responsibility, but the only person who seemed to focus on Jordyn was Justin. Yes visitors and guests liked Jordyn a lot, but that doesn't compare to having a parent who cares about you and tends to you regularly. Even when she was Michelle's "buddy", Michelle was sorta on her way to totally losing it, I think. She spent the majority of her time carrying Jordyn like a doll under that boob tent with a tit in her mouth. There is no way that kid needed to nurse as much as Michelle had her under there. Hell, they can't even spell her name right half the time.

One of the scenes that breaks my heart the most regarding Jordyn was when Dim Bulb was "babysitting" Josie while Michelle went on one of the contractually obligated field trips with the kids, and Jordyn was also left at home. Of course, Jim Bob only paid attention to Josie, and Jordyn basically went through the whole house, alone, and gathered every toy and brought it to Jim Bob and Josie. At such a young age, she learned that the only way to get attention was to do something for Josie.

[OneFifthQuiverFull]

Jordyn and Jennifer.

Jennifer is lucky that she had a super involved buddy like Jill. Jenny was/is a sensitive and clingy kid (not that there is something wrong with that when you are little, it just contrasts to someone like Johannah who was always more independent). It seems like JB and Michelle always acted as if it was weird or funny that Jenny was scared of things that Hannie liked to do and whatnot. She really clung to Jill and it seems like she still does. I worry about her now that Jill is out of the house, since she is still a very little kid who needs a parent.

Poor Jordyn. Jordyn didn't even have a good buddy. I don't blame Jessa for being detached because Jordyn shouldn't have been her responsibility, but the only person who seemed to focus on Jordyn was Justin. Yes visitors and guests liked Jordyn a lot, but that doesn't compare to having a parent who cares about you and tends to you regularly. Even when she was Michelle's "buddy", Michelle was sorta on her way to totally losing it, I think. She spent the majority of her time carrying Jordyn like a doll under that boob tent with a tit in her mouth. There is no way that kid needed to nurse as much as Michelle had her under there. Hell, they can't even spell her name right half the time.

One of the scenes that breaks my heart the most regarding Jordyn was when Dim Bulb was "babysitting" Josie while Michelle went on one of the contractually obligated field trips with the kids, and Jordyn was also left at home. Of course, Jim Bob only paid attention to Josie, and Jordyn basically went through the whole house, alone, and gathered every toy and brought it to Jim Bob and Josie. At such a young age, she learned that the only way to get attention was to do something for Josie.

That bothered me, too... I have to give a little credit that most of the scenes filmed are out in public and it's appropriate (sorta) that Michelle covered. I nursed my 3rd and 4th kids exclusively, and I was out and about with their brothers so I had to learn how to nurse modestly. I would tuck into a corner at the McDonald's Play Place or whatever and feed them, if it was necessary. Part of what I understood was important about nursing was that it was a perfect distance from Mom's face for a baby to focus, and looking at each other during the feedings promotes bonding and trust. It seemed to me that Michelle hauling the baby around on the BreastFriend and under a tent negated part of the purpose of nursing. Sure, it's for nourishment, but I bottle-fed my first two (twins) and they are just as healthy as my nursed ones, barring some preemie-related issues. I nursed because it was cheaper and more convenient, and since I am the go big or go home camp of life, I figured if I was going to commit to it it was my job to make sure I did it "right", which included holding my baby properly and being "in the moment" as often as was feasible. I tried to stay away from the "here's a boob, eat!" method of nursing, LOL.

[mebeforee]

Damn, guys... I was just watching one of the earliest episodes - I think it was only the second one! I just watched it on the DVDs I bought. (For the record, I bought them several years ago when I was already obsessed with this giant family [i've always wanted to have a really large family if I could afford it, but at a few months shy of 28 without a good job or a boyfriend, this seems like a lost dream] and before I realized that this family was ALSO really and truly part of the religious movements I was [also obsessively] watching in horror. I just don't want people to think I'm still giving money to this insanity, lmao. Because, seriously. Free Everyone.)

But anyway, it was the episode where Jackson got lost in the airport, and it may be one of the only times where re-watching actually lowered my opinion of the situation. JimBob doesn't just say 'there was an announcement that a little boy named Jackson was lost...', as I'd chosen to remember. It was actually 'The next thing I know, Scott the cameraman heard this announcement over the loudspeaker: is somebody missing a little boy named Jackson?'. So the parents and family didn't even hear it themselves. JimBob himself gives the credit to Scott the cameraman. And that made me so ridiculously sad.

As a kid I got lost a time or two, and I remember having a few nightmares about it. My older brother was also lost a few times (though I don't know about my eldest brother - he was five years older, and by the time I was able to make memories, he was above getting lost 8-)). But in none of those cases did someone other than my parents realize that we were lost... they were always aware of their own children and whether or not they knew where they were. I'm not saying Jackson is the most neglected, but this reaction to the episode seemed fitting for this thread. WTF, JimBob. What would have happened if the camera crew weren't there? Would Jackson have been crying at customer service for another hour before the family realized he was gone?

[mebeforee]

(And when I say "it may be one of the only times where re-watching actually lowered my opinion", I just mean that I normally go in with the "FREE THEM" attitude, because I've learned so much about their lifestyle and the experiences of other families/survivors/runaways from the whole ATI/IBLP dogma. As a result my initial impressions are probably more negative than the majority of viewers. A lot of times when I go back and re-watch on my DVR or youtube, the film itself is much more benign or even positive than I remember, which is probably to be expected... they are trying to get people to watch the show, and for more than just the trainwreck factor, they want people to like them.)

[artdecades]

Damn, guys... I was just watching one of the earliest episodes - I think it was only the second one! I just watched it on the DVDs I bought. (For the record, I bought them several years ago when I was already obsessed with this giant family [i've always wanted to have a really large family if I could afford it, but at a few months shy of 28 without a good job or a boyfriend, this seems like a lost dream] and before I realized that this family was ALSO really and truly part of the religious movements I was [also obsessively] watching in horror. I just don't want people to think I'm still giving money to this insanity, lmao. Because, seriously. Free Everyone.)

But anyway, it was the episode where Jackson got lost in the airport, and it may be one of the only times where re-watching actually lowered my opinion of the situation. JimBob doesn't just say 'there was an announcement that a little boy named Jackson was lost...', as I'd chosen to remember. It was actually 'The next thing I know, Scott the cameraman heard this announcement over the loudspeaker: is somebody missing a little boy named Jackson?'. So the parents and family didn't even hear it themselves. JimBob himself gives the credit to Scott the cameraman. And that made me so ridiculously sad.

As a kid I got lost a time or two, and I remember having a few nightmares about it. My older brother was also lost a few times (though I don't know about my eldest brother - he was five years older, and by the time I was able to make memories, he was above getting lost 8-)). But in none of those cases did someone other than my parents realize that we were lost... they were always aware of their own children and whether or not they knew where they were. I'm not saying Jackson is the most neglected, but this reaction to the episode seemed fitting for this thread. WTF, JimBob. What would have happened if the camera crew weren't there? Would Jackson have been crying at customer service for another hour before the family realized he was gone?

Forget JB, how about Jana and the other kids comforting the poor kid when they are reunited while Michelle chats and laughs on the phone in the background. He was really scared and where his parents there? Nope.

[mebeforee]

Forget JB, how about Jana and the other kids comforting the poor kid when they are reunited while Michelle chats and laughs on the phone in the background. He was really scared and where his parents there? Nope.

This is so fucking important. Like, I remember as a kid the most traumatic event of being lost was when I was about 6 or 7 years old and I got on the wrong bus home. (Me and my older brother knew that most of the time we got on the bus that took us home, because our eldest brother was in middle school and he was supposed to watch us for the two or three hours before our parents got home. When he had something else occupying his time, we went to aftercare.) I was supposed to go to aftercare but I just forgot and got on the bus to go home, without my older brother or a key to get into the house. A neighbor ended up calling my parents, who were extremely worried about where I was since the aftercare had called them to let them know I hadn't turned up. When my neighbor got me to aftercare, I also noticed that my brother was doing the whole puffy-eyes-and-random-gasp thing that accompanies heavy crying. (this may be memorable because it was really the first time I truly understood that my older brother who constantly picked on me, also loved me) But even those times that I was lost for just a few minutes, my mom made sure that I understood that no matter WHAT happened, she would look for me and find me. Even if we were just fooling around in Kids R Us, if I disappeared she'd come find me. My parents only had three kids so I guess they had more time to devote to making sure their children felt valued, loved and secure.

But honestly, if my mom hadn't made sure to let me know she was worried about me being gone and would have done anything to make sure I was safe, I might have had terrible horrible the-worst-ever nightmares about getting separated from the family. A child needs to know that their family and parents would really miss them if they were gone, and they need to know that if they're in trouble they can rely on their PARENTS to protect them, not some random cameraman.

[Luisainlondon1]

I just watched the episode 'Once a bride always a Duggar'. Josh took his four oldest sisters to Florida to prepare his wedding. They all admit that they are depending on the girls to take of the younger children. It was quite chaotic in TTH without the girls and Boob said it reminds him on the days when there were only little children and he and Michele were the only ones who took care of them. I really feel sorry for the girls (now young women). They didn't probably spend a lot of time with their parents when they were kids because Mummy and Daddy were too overwhelmed with they brood and now they waste their best years taking care of their younger siblings. It really makes me wonder if there's any child in that family at all who is not neglected...

[sockinshoe]

I just watched the episode 'Once a bride always a Duggar'. Josh took his four oldest sisters to Florida to prepare his wedding. They all admit that they are depending on the girls to take of the younger children. It was quite chaotic in TTH without the girls and Boob said it reminds him on the days when there were only little children and he and Michele were the only ones who took care of them. I really feel sorry for the girls (now young women). They didn't probably spend a lot of time with their parents when they were kids because Mummy and Daddy were too overwhelmed with they brood and now they waste their best years taking care of their younger siblings. It really makes me wonder if there's any child in that family at all who is not neglected...

The fact that they use their daughters as cheap labour really winds me up. I mean it's one thing to help out setting up your brother's wedding. It's another thing entirely to sew all the bridesmaids' dresses and organize the clothing and decorate the venue and prepare food, etc., etc., etc. And it's not just for Josh's wedding either. They all had to come out in full force for Erin Bates' wedding. And even beyond weddings, those young women are really worked to the bone. They cook, they clean, they rear children, and then, for "ministry", they work at fish-fries and at Big Sandy and with all kinds of stuff. The leghumpers say it's volunteering and J-O-Y in action, I say it's exploitation.

[Toothfairy]

I just watched the episode 'Once a bride always a Duggar'. Josh took his four oldest sisters to Florida to prepare his wedding. They all admit that they are depending on the girls to take of the younger children. It was quite chaotic in TTH without the girls and Boob said it reminds him on the days when there were only little children and he and Michele were the only ones who took care of them. I really feel sorry for the girls (now young women). They didn't probably spend a lot of time with their parents when they were kids because Mummy and Daddy were too overwhelmed with they brood and now they waste their best years taking care of their younger siblings. It really makes me wonder if there's any child in that family at all who is not neglected...

like Josh couldn't help with his own wedding. And how did they continue having sex and making babies when they knew they couldn't afford it or handle it

[It'sFunToRun]

The fact that they use their daughters as cheap labour really winds me up. I mean it's one thing to help out setting up your brother's wedding. It's another thing entirely to sew all the bridesmaids' dresses and organize the clothing and decorate the venue and prepare food, etc., etc., etc. And it's not just for Josh's wedding either. They all had to come out in full force for Erin Bates' wedding. And even beyond weddings, those young women are really worked to the bone. They cook, they clean, they rear children, and then, for "ministry", they work at fish-fries and at Big Sandy and with all kinds of stuff. The leghumpers say it's volunteering and J-O-Y in action, I say it's exploitation.

I don't see it that way. Where I'm from family usually makes most of the wedding, except the actual catering for the meal which you hire people for. Jana sewing the bridesmaid dresses teacher her sewing, which is an actual, useful skill. It's not like they had them scrubbing tables with toothbrushes, but honestly I don't find that even bad for your families wedding. What, are they princesses who have to hire other people to do the dirty work? I agree that the J'slaves are/were given way to much growning up in terms of raising their siblings and housework, but Josh's wedding was fair.

[sockinshoe]

I don't see it that way. Where I'm from family usually makes most of the wedding, except the actual catering for the meal which you hire people for. Jana sewing the bridesmaid dresses teacher her sewing, which is an actual, useful skill. It's not like they had them scrubbing tables with toothbrushes, but honestly I don't find that even bad for your families wedding. What, are they princesses who have to hire other people to do the dirty work? I agree that the J'slaves are/were given way to much growning up in terms of raising their siblings and housework, but Josh's wedding was fair.

Under more "normal" circumstances, I would totally agree. I've helped set up weddings and the like and I was a camp counsellor (still am). But these were all situations where I went of my own free will, knowing exactly what I was expected to do (I recall a TH in the Duggar wedding VSE where Jana, I believe, remarks that she had no idea how much work there'd be). As a camp counsellor stuff and babysitter etc. I was always compensated in some way, whether volunteer hours or references or financially. My work hours, even at camp (where I basically had to be "on" for 24 hours a day) were limited (days off, overtime, etc.). However, with the J'slaves, it seems less "volunteering" and more "being volunTOLD". Do you honestly think those girls get a day off, where they don't have to cook or clean or dress their siblings? If one of them told J'Chelle "No, mom, I'm tired" or "I'd rather not work at the fish-fry or set up Erin Bates' wedding", do you think their wishes would be respected? They don't get a say in their "work hours"/volunteer hours. Also Jim Bob has more than enough money to call in a wedding organizer, pay for pre-made dresses and alterations and flowers, and Michelle can organize her son's suits herself. Never mind the TLC D&P Show business. I have no idea if they 18+ kids get their own contracts and financial compensations, nor do I know if they decide their own hours. I can see someone shy, like Jana or JD, really suffering under the obligation to perform constantly as well as doing their day-to-day sibling parenting.