Live Blogging of "Marrying Well"

[meda]

So for your enjoyment, I will be posting here as I listen to "Marrying Well, Practical Wisdom from the Botkin Families"

Join me and the Botkins every Monday from 8:30 to 10pm FOR THE NEXT 5 WEEKS(or as long as I can stand it) while they discuss the following:

Scripture is rich with guidance for marrying well. Join Geoffrey Botkin and his wife Victoria, David Botkin and his wife Nadia, and Benjamin Botkin and his wife Audri for a five-part webinar series on courtship and preparation for marriage. Ben, Audri, David, & Nadia will share their stories, family photos, and lessons they’ve learned while seeking to answer the question, "Should I marry this person?"

Each session will provide opportunity for participating families to submit live questions and get live answers about gospel-centered families and gospel-centered marriages.

Some topics:

- Preparation for marriage starts early

- What the Bible says about courtship

- What about betrothal?

- Why strong brother-sister relationships are essential, in families and between families

- Dominion, discipleship, and life mission: Marry for the same reason you live your whole life

- Love like Jesus: Selflessly

- Risk management in relationships

- The deadly danger of worry

- What to think about emotions

- How do I know this is the right one?

- How to determine God's will

- The place of faith

- Maintaining peace and harmony between families

- When to skip courtship altogether

- Engagement periods

- Wisely reforming American wedding ceremonies

They are taking questions, so any suggestions are welcome :twisted:

And yes, I realize I am giving money to these freaks, but I am working through a gift certificate from my headship, who has a puckish sense of humor.

[Jencendiary]

Obviously you should ask them why Anna Sophia and Elizabeth aren't marrying well, and when they're going to work on that. . .

[PBrooke]

Yes, you could ask pointed-but-seemingly-innocent questions about how much responsibility the parents should take for ACTIVELY finding their daughters husbands, since the sons can take initiative but the daughters can't... Or, say, when do you know that the father's business and goals are getting in the way of what God has planned for the daughter...

[liltwinstar]

Omg, you are brave! I will be looking forward to your posts :)

[SweetTexasCrude]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so excited about this! I just found a copy of So Much More at Goodwill and have been licking my chops for more Botkin crazy. Godspeed, Meda!

[gustava]

Please join as for gin and tonics after......

[OnceModestTwiceShy]

O.M.G. Thank you, brave meda. :)

[meda]

Well to give credit where it's due: I just got the log on instruction email, which was signed "For the honor of the King, David & Nadia Botkin" (are they working for obscure European royals? but I digress...) Anywho, the instructions & logon process was easier than the webinars I have to view for work.

[MamaWearsPants]

I think you are my new favorite FJ'er! I'm so curious to see what great insight this group is offering up ths time but couldn't bring myself to give them $29! :think:

[meda]

they are starting!!! according to geoff, they are coming to us from Central Tenn....where the wind is "blowing balmily"

Also, they each have seperate households, they don't live together

[meda]

It's only ma & pa, Ben and Audri, David & Nadia. the verse is Luke chap 14, vs 26 to start the show...Geoff has perfect telavangelist voice, that self depreciating "I'm a humble sinner voice". Ma and Pa met in the 1970's, married in 1980.

[meda]

David introduces Nadia: got to know her the end of 2009 bc they worked together, he was impressed with her "character", they became friends. He spent 12 years praying for a wife before he met Nadia. Nadia prayed 8 years for a husband. Somehow that makes their story special.

Ben on Audri: "I am an aged veteran, whe have been married for a ripe old 11 months" kid's got a sense of humor. The lord has given me an increadably godly woman who I find more about every day" He sounds very in love with Audri. "You'll hear me talk more than Audri, but thats not because only I have content, much of what I say I have taken from the mouth of my wife. She is very perceptive & a great judge of souls."

[meda]

No happy marriages without God. Courtship is bad unless it is Tested against scripture. The subculture of "Courtship & Betrothal can be dangerous, parents should not put their faith in a model. They are plugging the other sessions, must listen to all five weeks to get the message!! But there is no such thing as a Botkin courtship method, they will not define courtship, bc courtship is a "convention of men" WTF?

They abmit that courtship is not in the Bible.

[Bookworm89]

I am glad you are doing this. I will be reading about is going, should be an interesting train wreck.

[meda]

David now after a technical glitch

1. people do not start out pure & righteous and then fall into sin, they start on sinners.

2. The heart is not a free agent beyond your control, talking about proverbs admonitions about controling the heart

3. you can have a nice looking couple who can still be corrupted, but you can have sinners who have lived a horrible life but are redeemed

Ben:

idea in the Homeschool community that mariage is the penultimate goal, and until you marry you are living a half life and are useless. Botkins believe that singleness is not wasted life, also marriage is not better than singleness in every situation.

He rejects the idea that it's in a problem in HS community that many people are single.

Also, many married people are "single" becasue they do not share a plan, they have individual hopes and dreams. Also, if your heart id not open to Christ, you are single.

Ben again: biggest regret is that he did not disciple or support his family more whil esingle, because he believed life starts at marriage.

They are really playing to the audience: a bunch of single young people & their parents. Botkins are saying thay can minister as single people, don't wait until marriage.

We will see more teenage girl blog "ministries"...bleech

[meda]

Ok, production values suck...mics keep fading in & out.

[meda]

marriage is for dominion & work, not fun. You marry to take dominion & make disciples. Ben has really drunk the koolade. Marriage is meant to mirror the relationship Jesus has with the church. Ben is reading Ephesians, of course. Marriage is for gospel work & gospel image. At least he emphasises that men must love their wives like Jesus loves the church.

Ben knew he had to look for a woman who had the same mindset about "kingdom work" is she like minded on the biggest issues, is she a suitible helper for me?

Ben didn't realize at first that he needed to think about that he needed to find a woman he could love and value like Christ with the church, at first he only thought about himself and whether SHE would be suitable for HIm. Later on (I'm assuming after he fell for Audri) he began thinking about what he should do for her. Ok, there is a glimmer of self awareness..sort of

[bbfreethinker]

Ben:

Botkins believe that singleness is not wasted life, also marriage is not better than singleness in every situation.

Are they anticipating the Anna Sophia and Elizabeth question?

[marmalade]

Are they anticipating the Anna Sophia and Elizabeth question?

Are they allowing questions at all? I do agree that this is a preemptive strike and that they have something further to say about the spinster state of the daughters (aside from the fact one always seems to stay home and will be the parents' caretaker one day).

[meda]

Geoff babbling on about how they prepared the children for marriage from toddlerhood.

Ben at 15 was noticing different "good girls" Geoff kept talking to them about the characteristics of women they knew that he admired. Girls were impressive to Ben for the "right reasons"

It must be weird for Audri to listen to her FIL talk about all the girls Ben had crushes on.

Ben noticed Audri when he was 18. (Geof just asked B & A "not to kiss too loudly in the studio")

Ben: talking abou Sampson "living by his eyes" led to his downall. Is he saying he was not attracted to Audri? Ok, point is to guard eyes & hearts. Because he did not have a good relationship with dad, Ben's "walk was not good". So he was a little horndog like most teenagers? He knew that he could not have a "black, cold heart" at 19, Ben confessed and attitude of contempt for his father. Since then, "his sactification has been moving at hyerspeed"

If you need a helper, what is she helping you with? What do you have to offer a wife, how are you like Christ? Ben read proverbs alot about what they say about women. Plugging other products.....

Ben drafted a list of what he wanted. Geoff told him, he is not looking for a spreadsheet, he is looking for a godly woman. Parents told him that it was ok to find a woman who was a new Christian, with a different background, as long as she ws compatable with him.

It is important to look past "checklist compatability" because you will not be the same person in 5 or 20 years. Ben rambles horribly...

[meda]

They are allowing questions.. right now, some idiot just asked if it ws possible to have friendships with pretty girls. Bot's are saying that children should not be cloistered.

David makes point that you can be friends bc. you can be loving & respectful to a young lady. At least they are saying that boys should be responsible for their own conduct.

Also, don't string young ladies along, & be respectful to all.

[meda]

This is sweet: David, the things that made Nadia my friend are the same things that make her my best friend and wife. I would be friends with her if we were not married.

Geoff: speaks against homeschooling communities where boys and girls are always seperated and are afraid to look at each other. Fathers & heads of household must decide what type of community will foster good relationships. Must foster a healthy community, no "coarse jesting" with each other but important conversations between young men and women,

Victoria: The friendships that began were not just with the couples, but the families became friends also. One of the steps to success is that families are also compatable.

Geoff: we don't mean to say that we manipulated situations to throw Audri & Ben together. um ok....

warns against manipulating situations, because can backfire, more important to fellowship with like minded families without an agenda.Always talk about the "great commission", no frivolous fellowship for these folks.

[gardenvarietycitizen]

Pardon my ignorance here, but - was Nadia or Audri a "new Christian?" Just given the topic it makes me wonder.

Off topic - "teenage girl blog ministries" - I was thinking about this earlier today when reading Life in a Shoe and the interview where the eldest daughter explains how she has a blog, but... why are blogs so damn popular with the fundie crowd, anyway? It seems anyone of note thinks they should have a blog, complete with sponsorships and free merch giveaways and all the rest. I suppose it IS one way to make money from home, if you're one of the few lucky ones who actually can wring some dough out of it, but... it's just SO damn ubiquitous, and yeah, the kids grow up and assume they need to be blogging too.

Thanks for taking notes on this thing. One of these days I'll have to try buying an admission, I'm sure any spam you might get as a result will be entertaining all on its own! :)

[meda]

Ben: some encouragement to young men who are worried about talking to pretty women, "we are slaves to Christ, not slaves to our biology"

other beutiful women do not steal my love away from Audri, although I have the most beautiful. You can always master temptation

Nadia: I appreciated David's treatment and friendship of me, a question to ask if you love a young man: can you pray for his future and future wife in the third person, knowing that it might not be you. Ok, I think this is the you cn only care about someone if you can sacrifice for him.

[meda]

David: because I was dedicated to Nadia's wellbeing, I knew that the right thing to do would be to move on if I believed that there was a better man for Nadia than me. It would have hurt, alot, but I would have gome through that pain for her. That is how I new it was love. Can only feel that love if you feel Christs love.

I have to say David & Ben seem very in love with their wives, unless they are better actors than I give them credit for