Fundies adopt triplets, have twins in same year

[Dandruff]

They seem very happy. Five is a lot of babies in one year but, fortunately, they have lots of help. They made the choice to adopt and (we're assuming) the choice to not use birth control. I doubt they expected to get pregnant, especially with twins, but that doesn't mean they aren't thrilled to have them.

The only thing I find even remotely snarkable is the matching head bows on the older girls.

[Katydid]

All those things are true for many of the families who are judged for their baby making here.

Personally, I don't judge the baby making aspect. I judge the abuse and the oppressive way in which those children are raised.

[treemom]

Not getting it really. I had numerous IVF cycles before a success, it never occurred to me at any point to take birth control. Not after the birth, not now. If I had a natural pregnancy it would have been brilliant, granted I suppose if I had become pregnant six weeks after my daughters birth I suppose by this logic I might be seen as irresponsible?

I think the people we snark on here for their baby making, do so deliberately. Actively seek to have that many. The Gosselin woman. Duggars. The ones who have more than they can feed deliberately.

This couple though it seems more a set of unrelated circumstances rather than a deliberate act, reading the story on the surface. Get matched with a birth Mother who then has triplets. Pretty unusual. Then becoming pregnant with twins naturally after being told you are infertile? Again pretty unusual.

I just can't see why after being told you are infertile that just on the absolute off chance you may get pregnant and are adopting that you would decide to take BC.

I suppose though if it at some point in the future they carry on producing or are actively seeking to do so right now I'd change my mind. On the surface I just think good luck to them.

I think it is a bit different when you aren't talking about 5 babies and three of them you would have known about for several months prior to becoming pregnant. If this was two singletons back to back well it would be different. But raising 3 infants is hard. Why would you ever do anything that will further complicate it? And that anything is not using contraception. The risk is the adoption wouldn't happen and I realize that, but that doesn't change my feelings about whether or not it is a "sweet story"

It is unusual, and rare. But that doesn't mean i don't think it demonstrates irresponsibility. I would consider it irresponsible to have back to back babies and yes, unfair where there are only 8 months between 5 infants and it was entirely preventable. Does it matter if I consider it irresponsible? Probably not. But I don't consider it a sweet story, I consider it a fucked up one. Just like the Gosselin having sex after they were told there was a risk of high order multiples.

[treemom]

Personally, I don't judge the baby making aspect. I judge the abuse and the oppressive way in which those children are raised.

Which is fine. I personally often think it is unfair and irresponsible to have back to back to back kids. Abusive or not. I feel the same way for families that probably have a lot of the same views I do.

Listen, this family sounds nice or whatever. And I am glad they have children as I know it is really difficult when it feels like it will never happen. I just don't consider it a sweet story nor am I convinced they they aren't fundamentalists for whatever reason.

[latraviata]

Neighbor of mine. Had a one year old and was adopting a baby girl from china. She discovered she was pregnant with twins that were born 3 months before they brought the baby girl home. By then the one year old was 2ish, maybe nearly 3. Then, one day i saw her in the yard and thought "NO!!" Surprise, she was pregnant again and again, with twins.

she had 6 under 6 and my first thought was "better her than me...

Years ago a friend already had 3 little boys. Her husband persuaded her to one more child hoping for a girl . Well they had boys triplets......

[tigerchild]

A friend on mine did IVF and other things for over 9 years, eventually got pregnant with DZ twins. A couple of months after birth, she discovered she was pregnant--ended up being with spontaneous MZ twins.

She was devastated. Though only shared that with people she trusted, since while you may be an irresponsible bitch for getting knocked up without it being planned apparently, you're an *evil* bitch if you dare have any negative emotion towards it.

I got pregnant with my boys when my daughter was 9 months old even though she was still exclusively nursing AND I was on the minipill. Shit happens. I doubt that any fundy person is going to be honest about their OMGWTF feelings that they experienced earlier with a journalist in their face. :P Or, well...considering how stupid I was after my twins were born from sheer sleep deprivation, maybe they just haven't recovered from that. I cannot IMAGINE how many IQ points you temporarily or permanently lose taking care of noob triplets.

[Elinor]

I know lots of people who would call themselves fundamentalist that do ivf.

Ditto. Many fundamentalist Baptists approve of IVF, as long as it's the husband's sperm and wife's egg.

[theologygeek]

Ok.

It is my opinion it is unfair to both their triplets and their twins that they were irresponsible. We snark all the time on people have baby after baby. How is this different? Even if they weren't fundies I would still hold this to be unfair and irresponsible. Having twins 8 months after triplets may not have the physical risk when one set is adopted, but it isn't any different other than that. If there were two years between them? sure. But there aren't. And this isn't any better of a choice than the breeding mortons.

I snark on parents who are physically or emotionally abusive, parents who keep having children but can't afford them, and parents who make their older children take care of the younger ones. Other than that, I have no problem with lots of kids and think big families are cool if done right. As long as the parents can afford them, aren't abusive, and don't leave all the child rearing to the older siblings who should be out and about experiencing life, I don't have a problem with it.

[treemom]

A friend on mine did IVF and other things for over 9 years, eventually got pregnant with DZ twins. A couple of months after birth, she discovered she was pregnant--ended up being with spontaneous MZ twins.

She was devastated. Though only shared that with people she trusted, since while you may be an irresponsible bitch for getting knocked up without it being planned apparently, you're an *evil* bitch if you dare have any negative emotion towards it.

I got pregnant with my boys when my daughter was 9 months old even though she was still exclusively nursing AND I was on the minipill. Shit happens. I doubt that any fundy person is going to be honest about their OMGWTF feelings that they experienced earlier with a journalist in their face. :P Or, well...considering how stupid I was after my twins were born from sheer sleep deprivation, maybe they just haven't recovered from that. I cannot IMAGINE how many IQ points you temporarily or permanently lose taking care of noob triplets.

I never said irresponsible bitch. Please don't put words in my mouth. And of course she gets to be devastated.

[treemom]

Feeling that it is irresponsible to be pursuing an adoption of triplets and not using contraception has nothing to do with liking or not liking big families.

I just don't think its a sweet story. Which is fine. These people aren't looking to me for my approval of their decisions. And I would hope they wouldn't. I don't even think that what i view as irresponsible means that they are bad parents or whatever. And I am certain there are a host of decisions I make others think are irresponsible or unsweet. That's life.

[OkToBeTakei]

Feeling that it is irresponsible to be pursuing an adoption of triplets and not using contraception has nothing to do with liking or not liking big families.

I just don't think its a sweet story. Which is fine. These people aren't looking to me for my approval of their decisions. And I would hope they wouldn't. I don't even think that what i view as irresponsible means that they are bad parents or whatever. And I am certain there are a host of decisions I make others think are irresponsible or unsweet. That's life.

I think I kind of get where you are coming from. I don't agree but maybe time has made me understand you a bit better :lol:

I *think* that you would have, in her position immediately started taking birth control because you think that way and would have looked at that angle. I think I on the other hand would have been more 'infertile' not gonna happen, until it happened then...HOLY SHIT! Never saw that coming!

Close?

[treemom]

I think I kind of get where you are coming from. I don't agree but maybe time has made me understand you a bit better :lol:

I *think* that you would have, in her position immediately started taking birth control because you think that way and would have looked at that angle. I think I on the other hand would have been more 'infertile' not gonna happen, until it happened then...HOLY SHIT! Never saw that coming!

Close?

Yes. But I am an anxious worrying sort of person. I honestly believe that even with infertility and I fell into that bucket that if you aren't using contraception you are trying. I used contraception when I didn't want to and when it was unlikely I would fall pregnant because I felt like it was not responsible of me to attempt to prevent pregnancy.

I have since mothballed the factory, but I took birth control for the entire year after I had my tubes tied (interesting note, they tied both my tubes even though I only have one ovary) because the highest rate of failure is in the first year. Who knows what this couple was actually doing, pregnancies occur even when you are attempting to prevent them so I could be (and am likely) extremely wrong. But yes, in general I would use a contraceptive method with a low failure rate and feel like it lacked responsibility if one didn't (in the case described here which was specifically a pregnancy intended to end with an adoption and triplets)

[2xx1xy1JD]

They had no reason to expect that they'd get pregnant at all, let alone have twins.

Surprises happen. A friend's sister was told that the only way she'd be able to have a baby was through a gestational surrogate. Sure enough, she found out that she was pregnant a few months later. She now has kids who are full biological siblings, born 5 months apart.

[treemom]

They had no reason to expect that they'd get pregnant at all, let alone have twins.

Surprises happen. A friend's sister was told that the only way she'd be able to have a baby was through a gestational surrogate. Sure enough, she found out that she was pregnant a few months later. She now has kids who are full biological siblings, born 5 months apart.

Ok. I mean i guess I can explaining my opinion. Which is what it is. I would have never assumed the infertility was the same as contraception. I didn't assume it.

[micatite]

Hopefully they have a lot of support. We have neighbors (of the semi-fundi type) who had quadruplets, 1 girl, 3 boys, and the logistics for dealing with that many babies at once are just amazing. Just the diaper changes alone...whew! When they were newborns, we in our condo complex got used to seeing random people pushing around the quad stroller (4 in a line) or two double strollers and not knowing who they were because they had folks from their church helping out. I know the parents also were in touch with a parents of multiples group, which is where they got interesting items like the quad stroller and twin strollers, and a sort of industrial day care high chair thing where the seats are set into the table top and it seated about 6 kids. Those went back into the multiples group loop when the kids no longer needed them.

As the babies got older and mobile, the outside church help seemed to dry up and the parents had to figure out stuff on their own (like how to keep the toddlers from opening the gate). They made a lot of unofficial use of the tennis courts, which are totally fenced and require a key to both get in AND out. Sort like a giant playpen. They'd take the kids and their toys in there and let the kids roll...supervised, of course.

When the kids were just starting school, we'd see their dad outside with them a lot (mom had gone back to school), running them ragged or putting them in the pool and wearing them out in the afternoons. Smart move on his part since their condo is a three bedroom, but it's still only about 1200 square feet for 6 people.

[Jana814]

They had no reason to expect that they'd get pregnant at all, let alone have twins.

Surprises happen. A friend's sister was told that the only way she'd be able to have a baby was through a gestational surrogate. Sure enough, she found out that she was pregnant a few months later. She now has kids who are full biological siblings, born 5 months apart.

That's interesting about your friend's sister.

[ark]

This couple and the babies were on the Today show this morning. They mentioned they had help from family and their church. They did not seem fundie at all.

[roddma]

While they seem happy, but media has glamorized multiples in the past. Not everyone has a realaity show on tv making 75k. Another thing is I hope it does not encourage adoption based on the possibility of having your own bio kid . BTW I/m not saying this couple did it for that reason. One of my husband's distant cousins' wife could not have kids. They have never pursued adoption to my knowledge. While I have not been diagnosed as infertile officially, adoption had crossed my mind. But over the years i just accepted my situation. Our financial circumstances would not likely even allow for adoption and age is another issue. Adoption is nobel. but i realize it isn't a magical solution for infertility. Anyway, I also realized kids/fertility are not what defines me.