Felt Banners at Mass Provoke Righteous Anger

[yetanothermeg]

So, I mentioned in another thread that I read Catholic All Year, a vanity project dedicated to teaching other Catholics how they are DOING. IT. WRONG. Listen to Christmas music during Advent? WRONG. Don't celebrate the Twelve Days of Christmas? WRONG. Use birth control? WRONG. Don't dress as your favorite saint on All Saint's Day? WRONG. Don't dress up on Halloween? ALSO WRONG. Today's post takes the cake though. She details her insightful decision to let go of her "righteous anger". Instead of burning with "righteous anger" she now prays that others may see the error of their ways. This "righteous anger" that consumed her to the extent that she wrote letters to priests and bishops, that prompted her husband to serve on the parish council, what was it over? Was it over pedophile priests, or human trafficking, or the plight of children who are born and live and die on garbage dumps? No. It was Felt Banners. Oh, and hand holding while saying the Our Father. These were the "abuses" that incited her "righteous anger". However was she able to let it go? Well, switching to a parish that fit her personal aesthetic was a big relief it seems. Her son really wanted to be an alter boy but she didn't want him to participate in a mass corrupted by folk songs.

Now that she's not so angry anymore, she can get back to what she does best. Homeschooling her kids (the Catholic school wasn't Catholic enough for her so she pulled her kids out), instructing her housekeeper to launder the Land's End uniforms she ordered for her "homeschool" (replete with faux insignia), documenting "What I Wore Sunday", popping out more babies for the church (7 & counting), and writing blog posts about how everyone else is DOING. IT. WRONG.

catholicallyear.com/2014/01/righteous-anger-wasnt-working-for-me.html

[gardenvarietycitizen]

I'm sure the people who worked hard on a felt banner with a message that they hoped would lift the spirits of the congregation and cause people to praise God (if they're like the felt banners I've seen in plenty of Catholic churches I've been to over the years) would be so thrilled to know that this woman laughs at their work and finds it a problem.

What is so terrible about the banners? How are they unGodly? I need to know.

...googling around it seems a mix of "oh how TACKY" "they're from the 70's, good grief can't they at least print higher quality stuff at Kinko's now GEEZ" and "so frivolous, so post-V2, we must be ALL SRS now."

[fun2beme]

I should suggest that site to a friend's husband but he might think they're too liberal. He's opposed to anything post Vatican II including priests facing the congregation for Mass. And birth control. And meat-eating any Friday of the year. And Catholics singing "Amazing Grace."

But I have to admit I have an inexplicable aversion to felt banners in churches. Perhaps it's because they remind me of the countless ones I made during my 12 years of Catholic school. :(

[GeoBQn]

Well, I've got my evening reading for tonight. She's more Catholic than the Pope, isn't she?

[Coconut Flan]

I can't see Francis getting in a dither over a felt banner. I've seen the church ladies especially at one local parish get all offended over children at mass. Of course one of those same church ladies had a fit because I parked in "her" parking place. No her name isn't on it. Her talking about the children in mass was more distracting than the children.

I've also seen the mothers who don't notice how disruptive their children are and I've seen the proud parents who parade right down to the front who if they were a bit more courteous would hang out somewhere other than attention central.

It's the nature of the place that it will not usually be perfect. Some people try to get along better than others. I think this lady would make me a bit itchy pushing her kids in people's faces.

[anjulibai]

So then she's basically Abigail with her shit together? Lovely. Her poor children and fellow parishioners.

[Cleopatra7]

I'm sure the people who worked hard on a felt banner with a message that they hoped would lift the spirits of the congregation and cause people to praise God (if they're like the felt banners I've seen in plenty of Catholic churches I've been to over the years) would be so thrilled to know that this woman laughs at their work and finds it a problem.

What is so terrible about the banners? How are they unGodly? I need to know.

...googling around it seems a mix of "oh how TACKY" "they're from the 70's, good grief can't they at least print higher quality stuff at Kinko's now GEEZ" and "so frivolous, so post-V2, we must be ALL SRS now."

Conservotrad Catholics hate felt banners because they think they're a sign of the devolving Catholic aesthetics that occurred post-Vatican II. Like the Catholic kitsch beloved of so many of them is that much classier. :roll:

[yetanothermeg]

Oh, and in my op, totally forgot to mention this little gem about gay marriage.

"I cannot support gay marriage because I love people who have same sex attraction enough not to lie to them and say that society becoming accepting of the particular sin to which they are drawn will take away that feeling of emptiness and un-fulfillment that turning away from God and towards yourself creates in a person's soul."

Let me paraphrase for Kendra: "Attention gay people! Love - You are doing it WRONG."

catholicallyear.com/2013/06/an-open-letter-to-my-facebook-friends.html

[wayward]

She seems rigid, controlling, and generally unpleasant. I feel sorry for her kids.

[Patsy]

I do like some of the stuff I've read reading through some of her posts.

Like catholicallyear.com/2013/04/we-do-in-fact-have-our-hands-full-do-we.html

But now I'm thinking that if my feelings were hurt by an offhanded comment in the grocery store, it was probably because of my own insecurities rather than other people's actual prejudices against my family.

or catholicallyear.com/2013/03/always-mean-what-you-say-how-of.html

The answer should be "O-K Mama" 90% of the time. I say 90% of the time, because probably 10% of the time, they do have relevant information to share, and it will change my mind. That's not the same as not meaning what you say.

and

But for me, my fertility and pregnancies (and breastfeeding and newborns and children) are all a part of my normal life. I didn't stop out of real life and into a sterility bubble to carefully breed two children. I embrace both my fertility and my real life at the same time. Because my fertility and my real life are the same thing.

Like, okay, the implication that 2.5-kid parents are "sterile" and anal (and that "embracing fertility" means you have to have umpteen kids) aside, the holistic approach is nice there? Admittedly I probably wouldn't be drinking lots of caffeine or going on any roller coasters when pregnant, but, you know, it's the core message I'm talking about here.

And as sanctimonious as this ( catholicallyear.com/2013/01/an-open-letter-to-church-lady-who.html ) post is, the actual "here's what I'm going to think about/do" that she came away with was

You will make my mom more conscious about how our behavior affects the people around us.

But seriously, calm your fucking tits about Shakespeare and Call the Midwives. Brother-sister incest, forced underage prostitution and polygamy to twins is A-okay, but contraception and abortion? NOoooo! A play about someone psychological torturing a person into browbeaten submission is A-okay, but the wacky "twist" that every second Shakespeare production does invokes homosexuality? :hand: :pink-shock:

[Iokaste]

You just know this woman was a "mean girl" in high school, all sugary sweet and dripping vitriol.

I loved this little gem, about their old church after joining a new one:

"We are very, very happy fulfilling our Sunday obligation at the Mission. But we're still a part of our neighborhood parish as well. So if they ever need to ask us for advice, we'll be available."

How benevolent and selfsacrificing of her :nenner:

[fun2beme]

Well, she is special because Jesus appeared in her bathroom cabinet in the form of a toothpaste smear:

catholicallyear.com/2014/01/toothpaste-jesus-and-other-miracles.html

In another entry, she was kindly asked to use the cry room after her son had multiple melt-downs during Mass, including the consecration (which is the most sacred part of Catholic Mass). But yet we should pray for the old meanie/misguided priest who politely reminded her that the cry room exists and she needs to respect the desire of others to pray in silence as appropriate.

catholicallyear.com/2013/07/in-which-i-am-asked-not-to-come-to-mass.html

[docmom]

Definitely more Catholic than Francis and some of her stuff (homeschool uniforms ??) is pretty OTT, but she does let her kids have fun and her pregnant zombie birthday party costume was pretty awesome.

catholicallyear.com/2013/11/a-zombie-apocalypse-birthday-party-at.html

I'd rather be a Tierny than a Maxwell (not that that's saying much)

[louisa05]

I have the exact place for her...the most conservative diocese in America, Lincoln, Nebraska. She will find no girls serving at the altar, no women as lectors (and only as cantors if no male is available), no lay people serving communion, no hand-holding during the Our Father, no taking communion in the hand, Catholic K-8 schools with daily mass, a few parishes with dress codes and more!

She will feel right at home with all the self-righteous assholes. Believe me, I know them. They "bless" me regularly with their "wisdom". My current favorite being the now former friend who told me I would not find my parents' situation (one with stage 4 cancer, the other losing vision, neither able to drive and they live 65 miles from me...) stressful or sad if I just went to daily mass and realized that I am "blessed".

My husband is currently job-searching. We could move if absolutely necessary. But we will not cross the boundary into their crazy ass diocese.

[docmom]

Ok, I thought the zombie apocalypse party was kind of cool, but then I read her diatribe against the Girl Scouts, who are apparently grooming girls for a lifetime of adulterous lebsian sex (the organisation has clearly moved on from when I was a Girl Guide- we made fires and marched a lot- not one bit of sex). The Boy Scouts were WRONG to include the homosexuals, but really they're OK because they really didn't mean it. That much hate in one person- must be hard.

[ADoyle90815]

She seems rigid, controlling, and generally unpleasant. I feel sorry for her kids.

I wouldn't be surprised if her kids quit going to the Catholic church the moment they move out. My grandpa was almost as strict in his beliefs as this blogger, and none of my uncles consider themselves Catholic now. The only reason my brother and youngest cousin were even baptized was to appease the grandparents. My brother almost died from pneumonia as an infant, and my youngest cousin was a micropreemie who was one of the lucky ones in that he survived the NICU, but he was severely developmentally disabled as a result of his birth. Now, I can say that I found someone who is even more Catholic than my grandpa was.

[Rosie]

She is a good writer, and I find her compelling despite some of the extremism. And I like the "family culture" she creates and sustains.

Where is the part about homeschool uniforms?

[mockingbird]

She is a good writer, and I find her compelling despite some of the extremism. And I like the "family culture" she creates and sustains.

Yeah, I didn't hate her as much as I hate Abigail. I appreciated that she does seem to think things through pretty thoroughly and I liked the "family culture" too. Her parenting style (under "parenting with authority") doesn't seem that extreme, just common sense - natural consequences, listening to her kids, and meaning what she says. I also liked her post about why she doesn't do NFP. I mean yes she is extreme in that she thinks birth control is evil, but I think she had a really good point about how the Catholic church pushes NFP so much and makes it sound so "perfect" when in fact it might not be the best idea for every couple. Actually, my friend (Jewish) is marrying a Catholic guy and they learned about NFP at the marriage classes, and that's pretty much exactly what I told her when she was asking me (also Catholic) about it!

The one thing that made me mad is how she restricts her kids' food. I mean I think a lot of people ask that their children give everything a try, provide healthy snacks, offer leftovers as an option for a snack if the kid didn't eat dinner, etc. But it just bugged me how she said if her kids don't eat a meal, they don't get to eat until the next one (this made me think of Victorian novels where the bad kids would have to go a day without food!). And she never brings snacks anywhere. Just seemed to take some rational ideas to the extreme... what is so bad with snacks? Her whole thing is that "it's okay to be a little hungry". I mean, I guess, because you are going to have to deal with that at some point in your life haha, but why make that the NORM for your kids? Not enough food in the house? Control? I don't know. She said her kids' doctor told her it was okay/normal for kids to snack (because they have faster metabolisms and smaller appetites) but she didn't like that advice. As an adult who still has a fast metabolism and small appetite, lol, I survive on snacks. It's always been hard for me to eat enough at one meal to last until the next one, so it's just easier not to try to overeat. Sure I guess I could be a "little hungry" (or start feeling lightheaded, but you know) but why make things needlessly difficult/unpleasant for myself? Oh because Jesus. If they don't like the food they are eating they are supposed to offer it up to Jesus or the saints! :D

[JMarie]

Oh, and in my op, totally forgot to mention this little gem about gay marriage.

"I cannot support gay marriage because I love people who have same sex attraction enough not to lie to them and say that society becoming accepting of the particular sin to which they are drawn will take away that feeling of emptiness and un-fulfillment that turning away from God and towards yourself creates in a person's soul."

Let me paraphrase for Kendra: "Attention gay people! Love - You are doing it WRONG."

catholicallyear.com/2013/06/an-open-letter-to-my-facebook-friends.html

Hey Kendra, here's a classical Catholic education exercise: diagram the bolded sentence.

[docmom]

She is a good writer, and I find her compelling despite some of the extremism. And I like the "family culture" she creates and sustains.

Where is the part about homeschool uniforms?

Just for you: catholicallyear.com/2013/08/why-i-homeschool-like-that.html

[GeoBQn]

Girls' uniforms are from Land's End (school embroidery was only a penny extra, and then part of our purchase is donated to the school!) Boys' polos and shorts are from Gymboree.

How could she get Land's End to donate to a school that doesn't exist?

[Dinorah]

Her costumes are creative and amusing, but is it just me or the idea of dressing as St Maximilian Kolbe (basically in a Auschwitz uniform) not very appropriate? Also St Sebastian... I assume she's totally oblivious to the homoerotic implications of that saint's iconography.

[mockingbird]

^They homeschool through a private Catholic school so maybe that's who Land's End donated to? (It's a homeschool company that is accredited as a private school.)

Her costumes are creative and amusing, but is it just me or the idea of dressing as St Maximilian Kolbe (basically in a Auschwitz uniform) not very appropriate? Also St Sebastian... I assume she's totally oblivious to the homoerotic implications of that saint's iconography.

Yeah, the Maximilian Kobe costume rubbed me the wrong way, especially the Halloween repeat. I think the concentration camp uniforms are pretty recognizable and not what I would think of as a generic prison uniform. Also, the quick transition from convict to victim of genocide between the two days is, though probably not intentional, a bit troubling in terms of how we view the Holocaust. (Also, a little strange that she ordered literal blue striped pajamas, considering the book/movie The Boy in the Striped Pajamas, and how the use of "pajamas" symbolized just how naive the German boy was to his surroundings.)

[Jenny]

The St. Maximillian Kolbe costume did seem a bit in poor taste. I thought the John the Baptist costume was good. I visited a church last year and spent most of the hour looking at an icon of St. John and I thought it would be a great Halloween costume. I'm kind of relieved I;m no the only one who thought that.

I'm only partway through her blog so I haven't come across the complaints about felt banners yet.

[yetanothermeg]

Now she's bitching about having to take reusable bags to the grocery store.