Jump to content
IGNORED

Cliches Christians Need to Stop Saying


Mela99

Recommended Posts

This article was posted by a friend of mine who works for the Good Men Project. It's a fantastic list.

goodmenproject.com/ethics-values/ten-cliches-christians-should-stop-saying/

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 54
  • Created
  • Last Reply

“Everything happens for a reason

For some people, this might be comforting. It wasn't for me. It sounds like god cares more about his ultimate plan than he does the people who are forced to take part in it. For me, it always made god seem like the character in the Saw movies. Jigsaw set up tests to force people to make choices in order to live his games. He would smugly tell his victims that he wasn't guilty of causing their suffering because they made their own choices.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

“Everything happens for a reason

For some people, this might be comforting. It wasn't for me. It sounds like god cares more about his ultimate plan than he does the people who are forced to take part in it. For me, it always made god seem like the character in the Saw movies. Jigsaw set up tests to force people to make choices in order to live his games. He would smugly tell his victims that he wasn't guilty of causing their suffering because they made their own choices.

ITA. Years and years ago I was assaulted, resulting in my daughter- whom I love more than anything, but it was a very difficult time for me, naturally. The short of it: I came from a family who was absolutely against abortion and as far as the rape itself, my mother and another family member said to 'let God handle it' rather than go to law enforcement. (The man responsible was someone the family knew.) Anyway, about seven years ago I finally went to seek counseling and my then pastor

gave me 'A Purpose-driven Life' where I learned that (basically) God intended for me to be raped because He had a plan for my life and my testimony. I had been struggling with my faith for years and that was the last straw for me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

ITA. Years and years ago I was assaulted, resulting in my daughter- whom I love more than anything, but it was a very difficult time for me, naturally. The short of it: I came from a family who was absolutely against abortion and as far as the rape itself, my mother and another family member said to 'let God handle it' rather than go to law enforcement. (The man responsible was someone the family knew.) Anyway, about seven years ago I finally went to seek counseling and my then pastor

gave me 'A Purpose-driven Life' where I learned that (basically) God intended for me to be raped because He had a plan for my life and my testimony. I had been struggling with my faith for years and that was the last straw for me.

I am so sorry for what you went through. It is crazy that your family didn't want you to go to the police. What did they think that god would do?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

ITA. Years and years ago I was assaulted, resulting in my daughter- whom I love more than anything, but it was a very difficult time for me, naturally. The short of it: I came from a family who was absolutely against abortion and as far as the rape itself, my mother and another family member said to 'let God handle it' rather than go to law enforcement. (The man responsible was someone the family knew.) Anyway, about seven years ago I finally went to seek counseling and my then pastor

gave me 'A Purpose-driven Life' where I learned that (basically) God intended for me to be raped because He had a plan for my life and my testimony. I had been struggling with my faith for years and that was the last straw for me.

Former Fundie,

I'm so very sorry for all you've had to endure. And I quit reading that book when I realized that's exactly what it was implying. I don't believe that's how God works at all. Some very misinformed and cold people author books unfortunately.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Not in your friend's article, but another one I can't stand:

"When you get further in your Christian journey..."

It's always used when you disagree with what that person thinks you should do and it's CLEARLY because you're not Christian enough yet to think like them. Case in point: my mother and sister were discussing my uncle not wanting to use traditional medicine to treat his liver cancer. My sister said if she were to ever be diagnosed, she's having chemo, surgery- whatever it would take. My mother was against it, said something about the Lord instructing some man who has been experimenting on people with intravenous vitamin C, and then said, "Well, when you get farther along in your Christian journey, you'll understand that God has given us these alternatives to heal ourselves..." Ughhhhhhhh.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am so sorry for what you went through. It is crazy that your family didn't want you to go to the police. What did they think that god would do?

Thank you debrand & Odd1Out... I have no idea what she thought God would do. I just remember being so angry because after that whole "pray about it" she quoted me that text about God only giving you as much as you can bear, so clearly I was a strong woman even if I didn't feel like it yet. I was 19. It nearly ruined my life.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

“Everything happens for a reason

For some people, this might be comforting. It wasn't for me. It sounds like god cares more about his ultimate plan than he does the people who are forced to take part in it. For me, it always made god seem like the character in the Saw movies. Jigsaw set up tests to force people to make choices in order to live his games. He would smugly tell his victims that he wasn't guilty of causing their suffering because they made their own choices.

That is right up there with "God works in mysterious ways" and "Our ways are not God's ways". And it really does seem like a God is Jigsaw from Saw. This is all a game that he sets us and humans are just players in it. I have never thought of it that way but it does fit.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

“Everything happens for a reason

For some people, this might be comforting. It wasn't for me. It sounds like god cares more about his ultimate plan than he does the people who are forced to take part in it. For me, it always made god seem like the character in the Saw movies. Jigsaw set up tests to force people to make choices in order to live his games. He would smugly tell his victims that he wasn't guilty of causing their suffering because they made their own choices.

I have always hated this, and it is also tossed around by nonchristians. My belief about it is yes, everything happens for a reason, and that "reason" or cause happens before the "thing" happens. Thousands of people killed by an earthquake... the reason is the build up of pressure leading up to the earthquake, not some stupid thing like "and the ambulance driver met the widow and formed a new family."

It is, I suppose, a toss away statement designed to say "it will be ok" but I actually lose respect for people who use it in real life, I find it so illogical and annoying.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That is right up there with "God works in mysterious ways" and "Our ways are not God's ways". And it really does seem like a God is Jigsaw from Saw. This is all a game that he sets us and humans are just players in it. I have never thought of it that way but it does fit.

I can't think of a faster way to unbelief than this saying. It certainly worked for me. "Your son, who has a painful disabling condition, is so lucky to have two parents who are doctors. See everything happens for a reason. God knew what he was doing". Why does the fact that my husband and I are doctors make it all right for god to make our son suffer?? And, oh yeah, prayer didn't help him much either. Medical science on the other hand- miraculous!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This wasn't listed, but something else that annoys me is when Christians say, "Your faith was shallow/You weren't a real Christian" when they find out I was Christian for eight years then reverted back to the faithlessness of my fathers, so to speak. What they really mean is that I shouldn't have been asking questions.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

God was really watching out for us.

This is probably my least favorite, especially when I hear it said in regards to an accident or natural disaster wherein not everybody is okay. Why was god only looking out for some, not all the victims? Why would only some be so favored? I think that's the single idea that started me on an atheistic path. I forget who I was listening to, but their point was that if God really is omnipotent, and he allows horrible things to happen to innocents, then he is immoral. I can't believe in an immoral god.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

“Everything happens for a reason

For some people, this might be comforting. It wasn't for me. It sounds like god cares more about his ultimate plan than he does the people who are forced to take part in it. For me, it always made god seem like the character in the Saw movies. Jigsaw set up tests to force people to make choices in order to live his games. He would smugly tell his victims that he wasn't guilty of causing their suffering because they made their own choices.

Yes, this!! I HATE "Everything happens for a reason."

Although I've heard it from non-Christians, nominal Christians, non-fundies...I think it's more of a cliche people need to stop saying than specifically Christians.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

“Everything happens for a reason

For some people, this might be comforting. It wasn't for me. It sounds like god cares more about his ultimate plan than he does the people who are forced to take part in it. For me, it always made god seem like the character in the Saw movies. Jigsaw set up tests to force people to make choices in order to live his games. He would smugly tell his victims that he wasn't guilty of causing their suffering because they made their own choices.

I hate that phrase. I remember well-meaning friends using it when my mother died. She had suffered for years, and I could see no reason that she deserved what she went through. The idea that anyone's suffering could be part of a larger plan is very troubling to me.

I came to the same conclusion, Turtlebelly. If there is a god who has control over what happens to people and lets so many bad things happen, it wasn't a god that I wanted to worship.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

ITA. Years and years ago I was assaulted, resulting in my daughter- whom I love more than anything, but it was a very difficult time for me, naturally. The short of it: I came from a family who was absolutely against abortion and as far as the rape itself, my mother and another family member said to 'let God handle it' rather than go to law enforcement. (The man responsible was someone the family knew.) Anyway, about seven years ago I finally went to seek counseling and my then pastor

gave me 'A Purpose-driven Life' where I learned that (basically) God intended for me to be raped because He had a plan for my life and my testimony. I had been struggling with my faith for years and that was the last straw for me.

Oh, god, I am so sorry that happened- the rape, the clueless family and friends and also that awful book, The Purpose Driven Life. I hope you know that the rape was in no way your fault. (It took me 20+ years to realize that. I hope it does not take as long for you.)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The worst one to me is "God doesn't give you more than you can handle".

Bullshit. I can't handle everything right now. Just can't. Ran out of steam trying to handle it months ago.

But Christians are not the only ones with cliched platitudes that make people feel worse when things are hard. My idiot sister-in-law informed me today (as she often does) that I really need to "put more positive thoughts out to the universe so that the bad stuff in your life stops". Because that will cure my dad's cancer, fix my mom's vision and get my husband a new job along with fixing every other thing wrong.

All it is is a fancy new age-y Oprah way of kicking people when they are down.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The worst one to me is "God doesn't give you more than you can handle".

Bullshit. I can't handle everything right now. Just can't. Ran out of steam trying to handle it months ago.

But Christians are not the only ones with cliched platitudes that make people feel worse when things are hard. My idiot sister-in-law informed me today (as she often does) that I really need to "put more positive thoughts out to the universe so that the bad stuff in your life stops". Because that will cure my dad's cancer, fix my mom's vision and get my husband a new job along with fixing every other thing wrong.

All it is is a fancy new age-y Oprah way of kicking people when they are down.

This was on my facebook today from a couple of my close relatives (sister with MS, cousin widowed at 36)

lemmonythings.wordpress.com/2014/01/05/god-will-give-you-more-than-you-can-handle-i-guarantee-it/

This person suggests that the horrors we sometimes face can draw us closer to God. I have said I only got closer to God for a while, so I could shake my fist at him--- and since then is was very difficult to take most religion very seriously. Even when sometimes I'd like to do so.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

God was really watching out for us.

This is probably my least favorite, especially when I hear it said in regards to an accident or natural disaster wherein not everybody is okay. Why was god only looking out for some, not all the victims? Why would only some be so favored? I think that's the single idea that started me on an atheistic path. I forget who I was listening to, but their point was that if God really is omnipotent, and he allows horrible things to happen to innocents, then he is immoral. I can't believe in an immoral god.

I agree that this phrase is one of the worst things as it really does make God sound like that Jigsaw character from the Saw movies, where those who survived managed to pass the tests that were thrown at them.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I agree that this phrase is one of the worst things as it really does make God sound like that Jigsaw character from the Saw movies, where those who survived managed to pass the tests that were thrown at them.

Yes, this is pretty bad. When I think back to my childhood, most stuff I was taught about God would make him a psychopath akin to Jigsaw.

Formerfundie, I am so sorry for what you had to endure. I had an emotional breakdown, as a teen, with nothing so bad as a rape to trigger it. I was taken to ministers who laid hands on me and casted spirits out. Needless to say, I have since discovered a lot of things (counseling, meds) that work a lot better. I know my parents did what they knew best, but it did not help.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

He/she is in a better place. Somebody said that to my sister after her husband passed away suddenly.She said well I thought our house was a pretty good place!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When I mention that I'm Jewish, and the person responds, "Oh! Jesus was a Jew!" Is that supposed to make me feel more special?

I think so. It's an attempt to establish common ground, to suck you into a conversation that (they hope) will result in your accepting their beliefs. There's also the "Jesus loves you even if you don't love him" ploy, and variations on it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When I mention that I'm Jewish, and the person responds, "Oh! Jesus was a Jew!" Is that supposed to make me feel more special?

I'm not Jewish, but it irks me to no end when some of them reply that "Oh, I'm Jewish too because Jesus was!!" Come to think of it, didn't Candace Cameron say something like that?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.




  • Recent Status Updates

    • Scrabblemaster

      Scrabblemaster

      I danced through my living room feeling awesome. From time to time I do this. Maybe wine is involved. Good music is definitely involved. It is awesome. I recommend it to you. With or without wine.
      · 2 replies
    • Hazelbunny

      Hazelbunny

      After a few months of trying to decide what kind of new computer to get and my brother telling me a Mac would be the best decision I could ever make and my sister telling me that would be the worst and I ought to stick to Windows.... I now have a used Mac. I am trying to get used to it. Not easy, but the Magnifying program is a lot better than the Windows one (that was the ultimate reason for my decision) and FJ works a lot better than on my 10-year old Laptop, too!!  
      · 0 replies
    • WannabeHistorian

      WannabeHistorian

      Y'all, holter monitors suck. And naturally the palpitations that caused this test to be ordered are remarkably absent today. 
      I'm off to go work out in the hopes that triggers it. T minus 10 hours till I get this thing off. 
      · 3 replies
    • 47of74

      47of74

      Fuck Fornicate.  Glad I got in to see this place before the world went to shit.
       
      · 0 replies
    • PreciousPantsofDoom

      PreciousPantsofDoom

      I frigging hate the toilets at this worksite. Specifically the door locks. Stupid little knoblet that isn't clear if it is locked or not. Door opens right off the main hallway and the toilet is just far enough from the door that I can't just hold the door shut in case I've got the lock wrong. I mean really people, how hard is it to design this? I just want to pee in private with no anxiety. Apparently that is too much to ask for. 
      · 1 reply
    • 47of74

      47of74

      First thing I'm doing when I get to the hereafter is finding the ancestors who moved to the US in the first place and asking them what the fuck they were thinking moving here in the first place.  Along with giving them an epic the reason you suck speech hopefully in the presence of God and the Lord Jesus Christ Himself to all of them for condemning their descendants to living in a shithole.
      · 0 replies
    • feministxtian

      feministxtian

      Its STILL snowing. Its not like I don't have a million things to do and need to take crap to the dumpster. 
      · 2 replies
    • Chocolate Lover

      Chocolate Lover

      Do any of you play Dyson Sphere Program?   For those who don't know what it is I'd suggest Googling it, because there's no way I could do it justice. 
      There's always just one more thing to do before I turn off.  Blink!  And it's 2 hours later.  
      · 0 replies
    • Granwych

      Granwych

      I have a chance to undergo esketamine treatment for depression.  If any FJers have any thoughts, I’d appreciate them.
      · 3 replies
    • 47of74

      47of74

      Do I even wanna know?

      · 0 replies
  • Recent Blog Entries

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.