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Resisting the urge to deconstruct this on my MIL's Facebook


snarkbillie

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My MIL posted this on Facebook and tagged me in it. Yuck.

lovinglifeathome.com/2012/08/06/25-ways-to-communicate-respect/

I'm resisting the urge to go into full rant mode on her.

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Yuck, that list is awful.

But, this is your mil so you might need to tread carefully if you care about your relationship with her.

You could comment something like "Mr snarkbillie and I try to communicate mutual respect to eachother."

That kind of makes your point without starting WWIII.

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Your MIL must be from the same planet as an in-law of my sister's, who also just posted the same thing. (This is a 30-something single man who, as far as I know, has never even had a girlfriend.)

The blog itself probably has other FJ-worthy content: they're fundies with 12 kids; mom had the last at 45; they've sent most of their older kids to real college; dad is a doctor who also fancies himself a novelist.

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And of course, there's the equivalent post for men linked at the bottom... except it's "How to Show Your Wife You Love Her". After all, why would a woman want her husband to respect her? That's for guys, silly!

In general, I'd say 24 out of 25 of these things are actually okay advice, once you strip off the "DO IT BECAUSE GOD COMMANDS IT" stuff. Be nice. Show affection. Listen to his advice. Pray for him (not personally my bag but if you're a believer it seems appropriate). Don't criticize him in public. All decent reasonable things that should be done by both partners in a relationship. It's just that, as always, number 25 makes it clear that this is *entirely* on the woman and if you aren't deferential enough then everything is your fault.

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I checked her out and here's one of her latest posts on why keeping a clean house makes you a godly, good person. This isn't directed at her specifically, since "clean house for Jesus" is a huge fundie theme, but why don't these people ever use the time they spend cleaning on volunteering for charity? Wouldn't that make an impact versus scrubbing the floor three times a week?

lovinglifeathome.com/2013/12/11/housekeeping-matters-5-habits-that-help/#comments

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If only there was a related Bible passage.....

...oh wait! there is!

Luke 10:38-42

New International Version (NIV)

At the Home of Martha and Mary

38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!â€

41 “Martha, Martha,†the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one.[a] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.â€

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To be honest, if my MIL had tagged me with that nonsense, I am not sure I could keep big mouth shut. :lol:

Did anyone else check out this blogger's 7 steps to sex? Gotta love the Big Mac calorie count bar graph. :evil-eye:

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Most of those list items were basically the same things repeated over and over. Also, they're things anyone in a healthy relationship with any gender should do.

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What does your husband think about this? Id be tempted to at the very least untag myself so that nonsense doesn't show up on my wall

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I will say that I appreciate that the blogger seems to have a sense of humor.

Did you like this post? Then you’ll love my book — nearly 200 pages filled with Biblical wisdom and sensible suggestions for putting these principles into practice.

Did you hate this post? Then my book would make a great gag gift for all your feminist friends, so buy in bulk and have a good laugh on me!

No thank you, but it made me chuckle.

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+1 on what your husband thinks. i think maybe you could ask him to have a word with her about it. if that's a no-go, i'd probably write something snarky buuuuuuut that doesn't always get your point across haha.

good luck!

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This is as old as a dirty dishrag - especially here on fj - but I'll say it anyway.

I have no real problem with anything on the list, even though some of the items don't apply to Mr. Salsa and me, so long as it also applies to the husbands. Partners should be respected.

Why should a wife just pray more to be happy with being disrespected (Lori, SSM)?

edited to edit my edit.

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