Work Dress Code

[JesusFightClub]

This might already be here, for which I apologise and please close it if it is: http://www.kveller.com/blog/parenting/t ... abysitter/

I followed 2xx's link and found this intriguing post. Is it right for mums and dads to have input into their babysitters' and nannies' clothing choices?

IMO, I get that for religious reasons this might have been a problem, but in that case it should have really been made clear in the initial interview. "We expect that while you're working here you should wear (*x garment) and should not wear (*y garments)." Babysitting or nannying is not the same as working for a corporate where there may be a dress code - when babysitting myself my employer didn't care what I wore and my acquaintances who use the services of childminders don't usually even notice what the childminder is wearing day to day. I just think it would have been kinder to state the position at the start rather than be so horrified at her day-to-day gear that you gave her the sack, even though she was performing well on all other counts.

Am I totally off on this? What does the hive vagina think? How should work clothes look and is there a standard everywhere, and what is your work like on such issues?

[JesusFightClub]

It's shit to double-post, but I found some of the assumptions in the comments to that post very strange.

"It's not OK to dress this way for a job"? No, each job has a different dress code. It's not like corporate skirts and suits work well when you're five feet deep in mud repairing cables, and neither do muddy workers' overalls work well in the boardroom. In my job, because I'm not customer-facing, I can wear pretty much what I like within reason - the booty shorts would be verboten, but if my boobs were spilling out of my top, my manager would say nothing unless there were complaints.

Perhaps the young lady in question is thinking "I'm just babysitting so I can dress comfortably, and comfort for me is small shorts and little tops like my mates wear". And is this wrong?

[Maggie Mae]

Yeah, the writer came across, to me, as jealous and immature. Maybe the babysitter should have known better. But, I expect that the following will be made explicitly clear when starting a new job: hours, dress code, expectations. How is an employee supposed to know if you, as a boss, don't communicate?

[OkToBeTakei]

The writer comes across as bitter, jealous and judgemental. I really hate the word 'tits' as well.

She would be quite happy if the babysitter wore a bulky tracksuit? Kind of says it all.

At no point in the article did she say she spoke with the girl. Spoke with her friends ABOUT her but not too her. The husband comment Hmmm ok. Not that I believe it as I think she added it to lend credibility to her story. Inappropriately dressed or not, if my partner made such a comment I would ask him why he was looking at her breasts in such a salacious way. Young girl in his house? This guy would obviously last 5 minutes on a European beach. His responsibility is to control his pervy thoughts not for her to prevent him from having them. Creepy.

I don't think it is wrong at all JFC but different people have different sensibilities of dress and appropriateness, I think she could have dealt with it far better if she was SO offended. She should though put the blame squarely on her own doorstep. As in I know this is normal for your pals on the beach but I'm a jealous old prude, any chance you could wear a burka?

Not really but you get my drift.

I would imagine the girl is quite aware that the workplace will have dress codes, babysitting is not something most teenage girls see as the workplace though.

[JesusFightClub]

Totally agree OKToBe and Maggie, and it saves all of those embarrassing "talking to employee about tiny shorts in the workplace" moments.

I also found this creepy:

I wasn’t worried that my husband would fall for an up-talking, almost-teenager, but I didn’t need to be providing him with a free floor show either. One afternoon, we both watched in awe as Dawn bent over to pick up my son and her bountiful 20-something breasts nearly spilled out of her top. “I don’t want to see that in my home,†my hubs muttered to me later that night. I didn’t have to worry about him pulling a Jude Law (or Ethan Hawke) on me, but I knew that this could not continue.

It's not the employee's responsibility to make sure the employer's husband doesn't lust after her, it's the employer's husband's responsibility to look away. The thing I have noticed about men is lots of them fancy women, no matter how they're dressed. If she's so concerned that young attractive babysitters give her husband wank material, maybe stop hiring them.

[duplessis3]

I call b.s. on the comment of the husband. T just a "see my husband doesn't like her clothes either"' and if they were both home, why didn't one of them pick up their child?

[Mama Mia]

I think the author comes across as snotty and elitist....her comment about wanting a nanny from a university so she could hold a conversation, as opposed to those other nannies from Jamaica ...ugg.

I think it was ridiculous she fired her instead of talking to her, but I do think its perfectly fine to have some sort of dress code. If she was an occasional babysitter who just came for an evening once in awhile, it might be overboard. But it sounds like she was a regularly scheduled childcare worker. Child care is just as much a job as any other, so having reasonable clothing requirements shouldn't be a problem. She could have had a conversation simply saying she needed to wear less revealing clothes to work.

[Violet]

Okay, so I didn't read the link. But I worked as an au pair last summer and the family didn't make any comments about my clothing* - they were, you know, more interested in me getting on well with their children and doing a good job. I wore short shorts and skirts and strappy tops most of the time and nobody said a word - it was about 30 billion degrees most days, so everyone was wearing very little! ;)

*Okay, so this is not 100% true but it wasn't anything to do with modesty. They live in the Alps and like to go walking in the mountains every damn weekend....except I didn't find out til I got there. The dad couldn't understand why I didn't have any trainers with me for mountain walking purposes, he also struggled to comprehend the fact that I don't live in the mountains and I wasn't told I would be dragging myself up mountains on the weekends.

[Lainey]

More than just running shorts, these purple booty shorts actually had ruching up the sides, with strings that tied at the tender place betwixt her gluteus maximus and her no-no zone.

Oh noes, not ruching! :o

WTF?

[JesusFightClub]

TBH I had to google "ruching" It seems to be a rather sweet curly thing which goes along the sides of one's apparel. But if it had ties which were between her arse and her...fanny? (I'm losing track of biology here) HOW DID SHE KNOW?

[Dinaberries]

I think she means on the sides of the thighs. There are shorts, usually cotton ones, with the sides ruched and with a drawstring, so you tie them and it makes the shorts a little shorter on the sides. I think it's cute.

[JesusFightClub]

Thanks!

That sounds very cute. On me it would alarm the lieges :lol:

Again, I'm wondering, what normal person notices babysitters' apparel like that? Also, she doesn't seem to think the babysitter is after her husband, just that the babysitter looks very attractive. Those are two different things.

[lilith]

Betwixt her gluteus maximus and her no-no zone?

WTF?

Does she teach her kids to refer to their genitals as their "no-no zone"?

[Dinaberries]

Thanks!

That sounds very cute. On me it would alarm the lieges :lol:

Again, I'm wondering, what normal person notices babysitters' apparel like that? Also, she doesn't seem to think the babysitter is after her husband, just that the babysitter looks very attractive. Those are two different things.

People who are obsessed with modesty focus on sexual things so much more than the average person. And a lot of women are just jealous of each other and see each other as the enemy. This employer doesn't care that her nanny isn't after her husband. She cares that her husband notices her and blames the nanny for it. It's very sad and it's something I have experienced a lot, especially when I was younger.

[anachronistic]

I've been a nanny for years, and the number one thing I look for in work clothes is that I won't mind if they get spit up on, peed on, snot on, etc. Nannying is a messy job. Little kids have extraordinarily large amounts of body fluids inside them. If a person doesn't feel comfortable discussing what their employee is wearing with them, that person is not ready to be an employer. I talk with my clients constantly and receive constructive criticism. I honestly don't care. At the end of the day, the job is about the kids, not the parents or the nanny. If the kids are happy and well cared for, then who really cares how the nanny dresses? It's not like they're going to places with a black-tie-only policy. Last time I checked, playgrounds were dress-code-free.

[Khan]

I can't imagine wanting to spend a day tending to children if I were wearing skimpy clothing. Little kids are messy beyond words. I have no desire to receive a load of vomit down my cleavage. Babysitting is a job like any other. Dress for the tasks you will perform.