Bisexual Teen Kicked Out By Parents loved by everyone else

[doggie]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/0 ... 82108.html

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When Nick's parents found out their son was bisexual, they threw him out of the house, leaving his belongings on the front yard. Although his parents did not support him, hundreds of strangers rallied around the penniless 18-year-old to offer their support, and they managed to raise thousands of dollars.

Earlier this month, Nick's parents threw him out of the house and took his car after someone told them he was bisexual, according to a description on a GoFundMe page. In addition, the page notes, they took the money Nick had saved from bagging groceries.

Steve Bevers, whose mother-in-law works with Nick, took the Georgia teen into his home and set up the crowd funding page on Oct. 22 to help raise money for Kennesaw State University freshman.

"When I heard about what happened to Nick I was flabbergasted," Bevers said in a statement to The Huffington Post. "I couldn't understand how a parent could do that. While I'm sure there are multiple sides to the story, I just was amazed. I was hurt. The first thing I asked was, 'Does he need a place to stay? Does he need some money?'"

According to a statement on the GoFundMe page, Bevers believes, "[Nick] has felt that the people most responsible for loving and protecting him through anything have turned their backs and don't care where he's sleeping, or how he's going to feed himself." He added, "We're working to show Nick that he is loved, even by strangers. That the horrible acts of some people will not be enough to stop him, and that with the help of people everywhere, he can get through this."

In just a few days, nearly 400 people have donated more than $12,000.

On Oct. 24, Nick uploaded a video to tell supporters his story and offer his thanks. He revealed that he did not choose to tell his father and stepmother about his sexuality because of how they would respond.

"This whole thing started when my stepmom caught wind of me being bisexual," he said. "I don't know where she got her information from, but I know it wasn't from me. She didn't like that and neither did my dad. I got told some very vulgar and disgusting things... That's why I didn't tell them, because I wasn't ready. And I didn't tell them for the exact reaction I was scared about, and that's exactly what happened."

In a video uploaded Wednesday, Nick said he is trying to get registered for the spring semester of school and is hoping to put some of the donation money toward getting himself a car.

In response to the already incredible success of the GoFundMe campaign, Bevers told The Huffington Post, "[i am] absolutely blown away. Amazed, humbled, and once again, I had my faith in humanity restored. Bad things happen -- that will always be the truth. But what this showed me is that people want to help. People want to give, and to trust."

[fullmetalheart]

How heartbreaking that perfect strangers take better care of someone then their own parents. I am so glad that Nick was able to get support, but while this is truly a touching story, there's the cynic in me saying that Nick is one of the lucky ones. There are people like Nick thrown out every single day, and they're not getting thousands of dollars in support.

[doggie]

Very true he is lucky. Quite a few teens are kicked out and live homeless because rather hate their children then change their beliefs they make Jesus proud.

[FloraKitty35]

I hope his stepmother & father realize that you reap what you sow.

[Pammy]

I'm all for teenage independence myself. I'm sorry he experienced rejection and insults and lack of *emotional* support from his family that's harsh, even devastating -- but I don't think they owed him financial support, a family car, or free housing at his age. That sounds like a sense of entitlement talking, if the major complaint is simply that they aren't willing to provide for him any more.

When young adults live with their parents, it is usually because that arrangement pleases all of them. A lack of shared values usually ends up breaking up that kind of arrangement, which is exactly what happened. It often happens simply because the "child" has become sexually active, or for a wide variety of reasons, without being seen as a harsh or unjust action.

Did the eviction happen suddenly? (It's made to sound sudden, but it's not stated, so it could just be sensationalism.) If so, I'm bugged about that too: how hard would it be to give a month's notice, or something.

[FeministShrew]

I'm all for teenage independence myself. I'm sorry he experienced rejection and insults and lack of *emotional* support from his family that's harsh, even devastating -- but I don't think they owed him financial support, a family car, or free housing at his age. That sounds like a sense of entitlement talking, if the major complaint is simply that they aren't willing to provide for him any more.

When young adults live with their parents, it is usually because that arrangement pleases all of them. A lack of shared values usually ends up breaking up that kind of arrangement, which is exactly what happened. It often happens simply because the "child" has become sexually active, or for a wide variety of reasons, without being seen as a harsh or unjust action.

Did the eviction happen suddenly? (It's made to sound sudden, but it's not stated, so it could just be sensationalism.) If so, I'm bugged about that too: how hard would it be to give a month's notice, or something.

Well, aren't you just a sweetheart.

My kids' best friend is gay. His parents are Messianic Jews & threatened to kick him out if he didn't "stop being gay." He hides his real self at home not because he's a lazy moocher, but because he loves his mom & dad & wants to keep his relationship with them. He has to come to my house to be loved & accepted for who he really is, & he knows he always has a place to stay with us.

My oldest is almost 20 & recently came out as transgender. I hate to think of what would have happened to him if I were still the same self-righteous fundie bitch I was 10 years ago.

I'm sorry but your attitude really pisses me off. Actually, no, I'm not sorry. Compassion & empathy - they're in the dictionary.

[BravaAmica]

I'm all for teenage independence myself. I'm sorry he experienced rejection and insults and lack of *emotional* support from his family that's harsh, even devastating -- but I don't think they owed him financial support, a family car, or free housing at his age. That sounds like a sense of entitlement talking, if the major complaint is simply that they aren't willing to provide for him any more.

Um, it sounds like from the article that the parents had promised him a college education. And then kicked him out with nothing because they discovered he's bisexual. That's a dick move. Sorry if you're such a soulless person that you see being kicked out of your home akin to "being independent." Takes all kinds to make a world. Even if you're serving as an object lesson.

[Koala]

Um, it sounds like from the article that the parents had promised him a college education. And then kicked him out with nothing because they discovered he's bisexual. That's a dick move. Sorry if you're such a soulless person that you see being kicked out of your home akin to "being independent." Takes all kinds to make a world. Even if you're serving as an object lesson.

I think it's a crock of shit that an 18 year old is supposed to go from highschool kid, to grown and on their own overnight. Even if we argued that he should be able to totally self support at 18, how is he supposed to do that overnight? Apartments take money. Having utilities turned on takes money. Groceries take money. It would be very hard for most people to establish themselves instantly without some sort of warning.

:pull-hair:

[Koala]

And before I hear a dozen stories of how somebody moved out and self supported at 14, let me say that by 18-19 my husband and I were both out of the house and on our own. I know what struggle is. I know what it's like to be waking up going to highschool one day and having bills coming in your name the next. That was my choice though. I at least knew it was coming and had time to prepare. This kid was just tossed out like garbage.

[church_of_dog]

I think it's a crock of shit that an 18 year old is supposed to go from highschool kid, to grown and on their own overnight. Even if we argued that he should be able to totally self support at 18, how is he supposed to do that overnight? Apartments take money. Having utilities turned on takes money. Groceries take money. It would be very hard for most people to establish themselves instantly without some sort of warning.

:pull-hair:

and from the quoted story, he had been working, bagging groceries, and the parents kept that money. This was not parents saying "you need to be on your own", this was bigotry and rejection. :cry:

[guidedbybobafett]

I'm all for teenage independence myself. I'm sorry he experienced rejection and insults and lack of *emotional* support from his family that's harsh, even devastating -- but I don't think they owed him financial support, a family car, or free housing at his age. That sounds like a sense of entitlement talking, if the major complaint is simply that they aren't willing to provide for him any more.

When young adults live with their parents, it is usually because that arrangement pleases all of them. A lack of shared values usually ends up breaking up that kind of arrangement, which is exactly what happened. It often happens simply because the "child" has become sexually active, or for a wide variety of reasons, without being seen as a harsh or unjust action.

Did the eviction happen suddenly? (It's made to sound sudden, but it's not stated, so it could just be sensationalism.) If so, I'm bugged about that too: how hard would it be to give a month's notice, or something.

Eh, this comment is only really tangentially related to the story at hand, so it's pretty clear you were just using it as a flimsy excuse to point out how you feel about people over 18 living with their parents. It clearly states that they took the money he earned, but you felt the need to gloss over that part, or perhaps you didn't even read the whole story before becoming irate about adult children living with their parents. There are forums dedicated to that kind of thing that will care a great deal about this opinion of yours.

[ADoyle90815]

and from the quoted story, he had been working, bagging groceries, and the parents kept that money. This was not parents saying "you need to be on your own", this was bigotry and rejection. :cry:

Exactly, it's just bigotry that caused his parents to take the money this teen earned and throw him out onto the streets. He's one of the lucky ones since studies have shown that in the US, 20% of homeless teens are homeless because they're gay, and were kicked out when their parents found out. nationalhomeless.org/factsheets/lgbtq.html

[lilwriter85]

And before I hear a dozen stories of how somebody moved out and self supported at 14, let me say that by 18-19 my husband and I were both out of the house and on our own. I know what struggle is. I know what it's like to be waking up going to highschool one day and having bills coming in your name the next. That was my choice though. I at least knew it was coming and had time to prepare. This kid was just tossed out like garbage.

I agree with this. The fact that the kid was pretty much disowned for coming out is bisexual is the really sad part. When it comes to young people and independence, I don't think there is one size fits all answer. I don't think a college student living at home with parents is a bad thing. I lived at home until I was 20. During the first two years of college, I also worked part time. Most college students that I know who live or lived at home with parents usually had jobs and they paid for some of their own expenses like auto insurance, gas, and some do help their parents with utilities and groceries.