SAHD explains how to protect your fertility

[salex]

Ashley Schnarr (she of the lace and denim mini dress sitting on the railroad track) is guest posting on a mommy blog on how to protect your fertility. Because, obviously, she knows this stuff. She must, as she doesn't quote a single study or bit of research.

thebettermom.com/2013/06/preparing-for-motherhood-protecting-your-fertility/

And, after telling women that they may not be having babies because they had sex before marriage, smoked, drank, got too fat or too thin or used the ebil birth control,

She then, says

Again, God alone opens and closes the womb but it is important that we, as Christian women, are good stewards of our bodies. As young women let us consider the future instead of just doing what feels good right now. May we do what is in our power to be healthy and protect our fertility so, if the Lord leads, we can bare beautiful offspring with the prayer that they will impact this dark world with the light of Christ.

So, only God can make a child, but the women can thwart his plans by having an extra glass of wine, which makes it her fault....?

Her closing paragraph is filled with weasel words

A note to the couple with empty arms and sad hearts:

Dear Hurting One, If you are struggling with being unable to bare children this post is not for you. There are many reasons for infertility and wether you followed this list or not you still may have struggles. Please know our powerful God is fully able to provide children for you and He always has your good in mind.

ie, God could give you kids any time, he just isn't. Just like God could give her a husband any time-- he just won't.

She has also started an online charm school.

stayathomedaughter.com/

[ThisOlGirl]

I was a smokin', drinkin', BC pill poppin', premarital sexytimes havin' machine when I got pregnant with my 1st child. Of course I stopped all that the day I found out I was pregnant (except the premarital sexytimes). So I guess she's right--despite my heathen ways, god chose to open my womb. Or does that make her full of shit? I can't decide. Dang, it's hard to think like a fundie!

[Pond]

Oh lookie! She has a book out too if you click on her blog. She must be experienced if she has a book out. :roll:

And really, a Charm School? It reminds me of an online version of Hogwarts :cray-cray:

[Peppercorn]

What do they teach at a fundie charm school?

True Grace aka walking while balancing a bible on your head

Needlepoint Bible covers

Cotillion for future helpmeets and headships (no dancing allowed)

Old Testament etiquette

[Pond]

Home ec must be a blast. They teach you how to make the perfect TTC and how to feed a family of ten on protein smoothies made from just two chicken breasts, a cup of rice, half an onion and a wilted celery ;)

[uber frau]

So pregnancy is always the work of an omnipotent God but you can thwart him by eating too much fast food? Hooray for fundie logic. I suppose it's entertaining if nothing else.

[Dinorah]

Right, you won't get STDs if you don't have premarital sex. Because, if your spouse caught epatitis from seafood or something, being married is magically going to prevent catching it.

And what is it with all these single girls giving advice on motherhood and keeping households? So much for Titus women!

[Artemis]

Ok, so can someone explain to me how, after an extremely varied sex life, an alcohol-fuelled youth, and occasional experiments with recreational substances, I got pregnant twice, (when married) and both times were one-shot 'Ok, it's time to have a baby' decisions? And I do mean one-shot.

Was God rewarding me for my evil career?

Or was he trying to tie me down to childcare so I'd no longer have an evil career?

[terranova]

I was a drinking, working, pants wearing atheist who concieved an out of wedlock baby. How does that work then?

[uber frau]

God was punishing you for your sins. Because babies in conservative Christian homes to married, Tea Party voting parents are a blessing. Babies to anyone else are a punishment.

[Ms Jess]

I really hate when people say, "I've done a little research ... " and then fail to show sources for any of said research. Although, I am 98% positive that her sources would include only Bible verses and no actual science and that would piss me off even more.

She is a really bad writer. How did she publish a book? On the front page of her blog alone, she says 'roll model', 'stalagmights and stalactights', and that's in addition to her repeated confusion between 'bear' and 'bare.' My head hurts.

[polecat]

So when God doesn't grant a baby to someone, it's because He has their best interests in mind and He knows they'd be a crappy parent? FTN.

[nelliebelle1197]

What do they teach at a fundie charm school?

True Grace aka walking while balancing a bible on your head

Needlepoint Bible covers

Cotillion for future helpmeets and headships (no dancing allowed)

Old Testament etiquette

The Vision Forum types have old fashioned waltzing dances like it is 1805.

[browngrl]

She's a busy girl. She found time to go the "gynaecology school of the dining room table" while at the same time time running a charm school (and she did all of that wearing lace and sitting on railroad tracks). And here I was like a fool slogging my way through anatomy, physiology, pharmacology etc not to mention countless hours of being on call before I felt comfortable saying I knew anything about fertility. Sheesh. I should have just realized the answer is always going to be "because God, that's why".

edited because I do my best editing after I've posted

[lizziesmom]

How does she explain the ebil, whore-mongering, welfare mothers who are sucking the life out of our country?

[salex]

How does she explain the ebil, whore-mongering, welfare mothers who are sucking the life out of our country?

Clearly, God wants them to be fruitful and multiply.

Not to mention, if we can't thwart God's will, every abortion is preordained by god, just as every miscarriage....

[memmy]

i think she was engaged not too long ago

please correct me if i'm wrong

i remember seeing one that looks like her going on walks and picnics with a fella

[NotALoserLikeYou]

Um, I'm pretty sure drinking and having sex before marriage was how a lot of us GOT pregnant :)

[anjulibai]

I wonder how she explains my alcohol drinking, drug addict, fat cousin who married after getting pregnant as a teen, is still married to the guy, but has 5 other kids with 2 other guys, and is on her seventh child with a fourth guy.

[salex]

i think she was engaged not too long ago

please correct me if i'm wrong

i remember seeing one that looks like her going on walks and picnics with a fella

I gather the courtship ended. However, the wedding planning website remains. schnarrcartwright.ourwedding.com/

I found it and was confused, as it said

Ashley & Chris April 12, 2013 Newlyweds for 104 days!

but that apparently is the auto-countdown.

I loved some of the spectacular examples of creative spelling on that site as well.

Welcome To Our Wedding Website!

We hope this website proves to be helpful for information concerning times, locations and accomidations.

If you recived an electronic invitation please RSVP through that invitation. If you recieved an invitation through another form (TBC announcement) please resond for each person attending on the RSVP page of this website.

Thank you for your love and support. We are blessed to call you friends!

~Chris Cartwright & Ashley Schnarr

She also hotlinks to local hotels/motels under

Accomidations

She explains that

The ceremony will begin at 7:00pm in the old autariom (the red brick building).

She adds this helpful information

Our registries

If you would like to purchase a gift off of our registery we have are confirmed at the following stores:

Gift cards to these stores are also welcome.

Perhaps he killed the courtship because he wanted a literate wife?

[apple1]

This person has never heard of dictionary.com?

ETA - or spellcheck?

[HereticHick]

In the winter I sometimes wear stalactights and boots

[carebear]

I must have been lucky.. God opened by womb before I was married.

[doggie]

not sure whats more pathetic the person preaching this crap or the fools that listen. Yes god opens 9 and 10 year old wombs.

[snarkyjan]

I was a smokin', drinkin', BC pill poppin', premarital sexytimes havin' machine when I got pregnant with my 1st child. Of course I stopped all that the day I found out I was pregnant (except the premarital sexytimes). So I guess she's right--despite my heathen ways, god chose to open my womb. Or does that make her full of shit? I can't decide. Dang, it's hard to think like a fundie!

Don't bother, it will cost you at least 75 IQ points.