Michelle Duggar Post Partum Depression

[FJismyheadship]

While googling to see if there was a such thing as delayed ppd, I ran across this article

 

http://parentables.howstuffworks.com/he ... ssion.html

 

Anyway I think its interesting... maybe provides a little insight? I think the idea of having PPD as much as 21 times is interesting...

 

She doesn't actually admit to having ever had it, and its all a bunch of ""God kept me happy" so she actually isn't helping anyobe who may have it

[Pretzel]

It's a big FU to all mother's going through PPD. "See, if you prayed enough, if Jesus loved you as much as me, you'd et over it!!!!11".

The only edifying thing that I get from this article is Jim Bob's (alleged) behaviour. After all, as creepy as he may seem and as sly and calculating as he is, I really do believe he loves Michelle with all his heart and never had the urge to put her down (not even privately) or make her feel guilty for not being themaster of managing the home back in the day. I think he truly appreciates what she did and still does, and he seems like the type who'd just say "No one needs to cook five-course-dinners. Open a can of pork and beans and we're all happy".

The Duggars share terrible believes, lie to others, guilt-trip their kids and follow the teachings of a dangerous cult. But after all I've seen of them, it always made me feel a little less worried about all those kids that JB seems to love each and every single one of them and enjoys spending time with them. He works hard for his family and appreciates his wife in any way possible. I absolutely think if she, at any point in their life, had said "Let's stop right there!" he'd not have mentioned another "blessing" to her ever again.

[miffy]

^ I agree. I think the Duggars are nice people who got caught up in a cult. They are not faultless by any means, but Mr Gothard has a LOT to answer for.

[ILoveJellybeans]

I presumed she had at some point as well. Was this what happened at that low point in her life when she had about 8 and couldnt cope?

[Peas n carrots]

Pray the depression away with Jesus. Right, because that worked so well with Andrea Yates.

Anyways, I truly believe she has a pregnancy/newborn addiction and gets a high on those hormones.

[August]

"Nyah, nyah, you didn't pray hard enough " applies to all religion, though. After all, Jesus will give some people new cars by personal intervention. Why would children be dying in famines unless they weren't praying hard enough?

[OnceModestTwiceShy]

I don't think there is anything nice about them. Maybe there was at one point, but not anymore. Lots of people love their spouses and children, but that doesn't mean they are doing right by them at all.

[formergothardite]

I don't think there is anything nice about them. Maybe there was at one point, but not anymore. Lots of people love their spouses and children, but that doesn't mean they are doing right by them at all.

Exactly. I don't see what is "nice" about them.

[nokidsmom]

Exactly. I don't see what is "nice" about them.

I don't see them as nice either. Agree that may have been true once but not now. I don't see parents who have controlled, sheltered, guilt tripped, dumbed down, and pimped out their children for the sake of a reality show as nice people.

[bananacat]

I don't think there is anything nice about them. Maybe there was at one point, but not anymore. Lots of people love their spouses and children, but that doesn't mean they are doing right by them at all.

Actually, this is the very point the Jesus himself made in the Good Samaritan story. Anyone can love their own family and clan members, even the people you think lowest of. It's not special and you don't get any points for doing it. Hitler probably truly loved his girlfriend and dog, and Kim Jong Il probably truly loved his sons. It's nothing. Jesus's point is that it takes something extra to love people who aren't exactly like you, and I haven't seen any evidence that the Duggars have made any effort at that.

[MrMattyMatt]

Exactly - the Duggars firmly believe that anyone not like them should be held suspiciously or avoided. Like Jesus? - I think not!

[jaynie]

The Duggars share terrible believes, lie to others, guilt-trip their kids and follow the teachings of a dangerous cult. But after all I've seen of them, it always made me feel a little less worried about all those kids that JB seems to love each and every single one of them and enjoys spending time with them.

Maybe you'd still call it love, but we've seen JB treat some of his kids pretty unlovingly in the past (notably Josiah, but I can vaguely remember an incident with one of the howlers recently (Justin? During the fencing lessons I think), and he seems to take delight in scaring poor, anxious Jenny whenever possible). And I don't think it's particularly loving treatment to put your children's horrifying (Jason's injury) or embarrassing (p. much everything) moments on national television either. Plus there's his dismissal of Michelle's concerns during the marriage retreat. It's all very well *saying* he loves them, but actions speak louder than words and some of his actions are downright nasty.

That's not to say they wouldn't have been nice people if they'd never been swept away by the cult. I'm sure the lifestyle, and the praise they've recieved for living it to the extreme, have had toxic effects on their personalities. But the way they are now? Not nice. Even for cultists.

[Mela99]

This is right up there with Tom Cruise saying auditing and vitamins were all PPD mothers need. Brooke Shields gave him a royal smackdown.

[ILoveJellybeans]

If anyone in that house has depression or had it in the past, Im guessing Jana. And prayer doesnt seem to be helping, she could really do with some therapy.

[OnceModestTwiceShy]

Also, there is love and then there is love. There is the unconditional, selfless love that good parents strive for. Then there is the narcissistic, selfish, ideologically-based "love" that says, "I love you - as long as you obey my rules, think and act and dress the way I want you to, and make me look good." I'll believe JB truly loves his children when he allows even one of them to live his or her life without judgement or banishment.

[Minerva]

I'm glad Michelle got through the depression on her own, but imagine how much easier it would have been for her if she could have admitted she had a mental illness, asked to be referred to a mental health professional, and gotten proper treatment. Also, why can't she call the depression what it was? Why does she always refer to it with euphemisms?

[Mama Mia]

Maybe you'd still call it love, but we've seen JB treat some of his kids pretty unlovingly in the past (notably Josiah, but I can vaguely remember an incident with one of the howlers recently (Justin? During the fencing lessons I think), and he seems to take delight in scaring poor, anxious Jenny whenever possible). And I don't think it's particularly loving treatment to put your children's horrifying (Jason's injury) or embarrassing (p. much everything) moments on national television either. Plus there's his dismissal of Michelle's concerns during the marriage retreat. It's all very well *saying* he loves them, but actions speak louder than words and some of his actions are downright nasty.

That's not to say they wouldn't have been nice people if they'd never been swept away by the cult. I'm sure the lifestyle, and the praise they've recieved for living it to the extreme, have had toxic effects on their personalities. But the way they are now? Not nice. Even for cultists.

I think it would be extremely unrealistic if there was never a moment where Jim Bob didn't snap on one of the kids. Saying he doesn't love them because on the rare occasion he shows some irritation makes no sense.

I disagree with many of their beliefs and their parenting choices, but to say he doesn't love the kids or Michelle because of the things you mentioned is a huge reach.

[Guest LilaFowler]

I don't think there is anything nice about them. Maybe there was at one point, but not anymore. Lots of people love their spouses and children, but that doesn't mean they are doing right by them at all.

I agree. They try to give off this nice facade, but if they were truly nice, they wouldn't be brainwashing and holding back their children the way they do.

Now some of their children (like Jana, for instance) I do believe are truly nice.

[kitkat]

Its also possible that Michelle doesn't get true post-partum depression. Its incredibly common to be weepy and emotional in the weeks following delivery, and for most women those feelings go away as hormones settle down, You can 'pray away' the baby blues, you can also get rid of them by eating zeiwbeck or wearing fuschia on Tuesdays. Postpartum depression, is much more serious, and often doesn't show up right away. It also lasts for a lot longer if left untreated. A lot of people lump all post-partum emotional problems under the PPD label, when they are actually quite different things.

As a side note, Andrea Yates had post-partum psychosis, which is yet a third, and much more serious, condition. Although its important to realize that yes, post-partum mood disorders can be serious and can require treatment that they are not all the same thing. In particular, lumping in post-partum depression with post-partum psychosis can be a barrier to seeking help, since it makes some women feel like if they admit to not being 100% ok, everyone will assume that they are a danger to their children.

[Dandruff]

I wonder how the older girls felt after each baby was born. They had more work to do (e.g., tending to Michelle, extra laundry) with the knowledge that after the baby was weaned it would be joining them in their bedroom at night and the designated buddy would be responsible for its care for a long time.

[ljohnson2006]

She'll never admit to having it. I'm sure she did. Was the laundry breakdown because of PPD?

[jaynie]

I think it would be extremely unrealistic if there was never a moment where Jim Bob didn't snap on one of the kids. Saying he doesn't love them because on the rare occasion he shows some irritation makes no sense.

I disagree with many of their beliefs and their parenting choices, but to say he doesn't love the kids or Michelle because of the things you mentioned is a huge reach.

Although the incidents I described weren't really "snapping" at the duggerlings out of irritation, and more good old fashioned meanness, I would ordinarily agree that it's not good to generalize from a few points of data. But these are the things that made it to a television show that is supposed to make them look good, and they really don't. Though I may have conflated the two points, love and niceness, a bit, in my haste to get the post written! I suppose what I should have said is that while he may love them deep down in his heart, he often acts unlovingly towards them (and disproportionately unkind to some kids over others, which is worse!). In the end these actions are far more likely to affect them than his actual feelings.

I think OnceModestTwiceShy's point about unconditional vs. superficial love is a good one, actually -- the incidents I can think of where I felt JB was "unloving" towards his kids (or Michelle) are largely incidents in which they don't conform to his expectations for them -- so he either dismisses them (like michelle at the marriage retreat, or like Jenny's timidity) or immediately tries to reassert his authority over them, or belittles their own interests and traits.

I guess this stems at least partly from the cult though. Whatever love JB feels for his wife and kids is made toxic by the reach of his authority, which makes everything that doesn't conform to his expectations an act of disobedience that must be stopped. Unconditional love -- which is what I really meant when I used the word love before -- is practically impossible within their belief system because anyone who doesn't fit the mould is on a one way path to Hell.

[Minerva]

If I saw an ordinary parent do the occasional mean thing that Jim Bob does, I might not be impressed, but I wouldn't think they didn't love their kids. But when stuff like that happens on the show, I can't help but side-eye the Duggars, because they claim to be such a big, happy, problem-free family. Of course, your family can be a shit-show and love each other as much as any family.

I was really impressed to read about how patient Jim Bob was when he'd come home and Michelle would say "I didn't get anything done..." My partner has come home many a day to find me face down on the couch not having done a thing, and his reaction has always been the same as Jim Bob's (minus the can thing, because it's never ever been my responsibility to cook for Mr. Minerva). When you've spent a day alone, beating yourself up over how unproductive you've been, it's really relieving to have someone tell you it's fine.

[kunoichi66]

Maybe you'd still call it love, but we've seen JB treat some of his kids pretty unlovingly in the past (notably Josiah, but I can vaguely remember an incident with one of the howlers recently (Justin? During the fencing lessons I think), and he seems to take delight in scaring poor, anxious Jenny whenever possible). And I don't think it's particularly loving treatment to put your children's horrifying (Jason's injury) or embarrassing (p. much everything) moments on national television either. Plus there's his dismissal of Michelle's concerns during the marriage retreat. It's all very well *saying* he loves them, but actions speak louder than words and some of his actions are downright nasty.

That's not to say they wouldn't have been nice people if they'd never been swept away by the cult. I'm sure the lifestyle, and the praise they've recieved for living it to the extreme, have had toxic effects on their personalities. But the way they are now? Not nice. Even for cultists.

What did he do to Justin? If he was messing around with one of those swords, he is monumentally stupid.

[Rescinded and Mended]

What did he do to Justin? If he was messing around with one of those swords, he is monumentally stupid.

Indeed. During the Samurai sword lesson that Jim Bob had with the boys in Japan, there was a scripted, storytelling even that was shown. The lead trainer and the man telling the story, Tetsuro, was at the part where he and the other Samurai were supposed to draw their swords and stage a mock-battle.

Jim Bob broke the script, reached over and yanked the sword from Tetsuro's belt. Tetsuro looked genuinely shocked, and all Jim Bob could do was laugh about how clever he was for getting one over on a trained Samurai.

These movements were carefully choreographed, and if the Samurai had moved an inch in any direction at that moment, Jim Bob would have cut him. All I could think was that Jim Bob could have seriously injured Tetsuro with his stupidity.