Women without children are destined to be miserable

[AtroposHeart]

grerp.blogspot.com/2012/02/piece-of-advice-101-pencil-have-kids.html

Recently, Gerp of "Lost art of Self preservation for women" made her blog public again to give you a taste of what this blog is about....

If you were born female in the mid-1960's or later, you were probably fed all sorts of erroneous information about how life works, what women deserve, what men want, and what the future will be like. Here's some actually useful advice to help you survive in this increasingly chaotic post-Sexual Revolution world.

She basically watched three movies with women who were childless and saw that the childless women were unhappy in them and came to the conclusion that all women who don't have children must be miserable.

[RosyDaisy]

I don't have and can't have children, and I'm not miserable at all. I never wanted kids...heck I didn't even like playing with baby dolls as a little girl.

[MamaJunebug]

Mind-boggling. She'd see my Junior JBs who have unexplained infertility and sniff at them for their many four-leggeds and hobbies and charitable activities. She'd think of my late friend's mom - who never, ever wanted to be a mom and who let her daughter know it until she died - and say that woman was a success, because she married and then had a child.

I wonder what she'd say about asexual individuals, those who just dont' really care about intercourse, and thus will only become parents through adoption..

And whoa - is a man without children destined to misery? Enquiring minds must know!

Ho, boy. The stupidity is strong with that one, and lamentably, with her coterie of yes-sayers.

[Anxious Girl]

It's better than fundies who contribute to overpopulation by having a small village's worth of children like the Bates and Duggars. When it actually occurs, Christian fundies'll be surprised at how the right-wing think that only the 1 % deserves their food. But no, preparing for God's white Christian army matters more than saving food for future generations!

[AtroposHeart]

It's better than fundies who contribute to overpopulation by having a small village's worth of children like the Bates and Duggars. When it actually occurs, Christian fundies'll be surprised at how the right-wing think that only the 1 % deserves their food. But no, preparing for God's white Christian army matters more than saving food for future generations!

It should be also noted that Gerp makes the same mistake that most fundies make about overpopulation.

She thinks it is about space, when it is really about resources.

[Dysfundamental]

I'm going to pencil that "being miserable" in RIGHT NOW and I'm sure I'll get to it when I'm finished having fun with my husband, friends, godchildren, nephew, and friends' children.

[dairyfreelife]

Way to make infertile women who really want children feel so much better about their reality, Asshole! Does she have children? No, then stfu. If yes, then stop worrying about women who don't want children and making women who can't have them, but want them feel worse and go pay attention to your children instead.

[Rainytown]

We don't have kids. We didn't want to have kids for many reasons, none of which are the blogger's business.

It's unfortunate her "exhaustive research" was performed via three movies. Someone should tell her that movies are not necessarily factual.

[docmom]

I have also done some extensive movie research recently. I have discovered that you can fly to Oz in a hot air balloon, climb down from a high tower using only your hair, and that aliens regularly visit our planet. Really, it's true. It was in the movies!

[keen23]

I have children, and they sometimes factor in to making me miserable and an ultra bitch.

[latraviata]

grerp.blogspot.com/2012/02/piece-of-advice-101-pencil-have-kids.html

Recently, Gerp of "Lost art of Self preservation for women" made her blog public again to give you a taste of what this blog is about....

She basically watched three movies with women who were childless and saw that the childless women were unhappy in them and came to the conclusion that all women who don't have children must be miserable.

What a terrible and stupid thing to say!!!

[Hane]

Oh, FFS. I can see that women who want children but cannot have them may indeed be miserable, but there are plenty who just plain don't want any.

[lilah]

Haaaaaaaate grep. It figures that she takes over when Sunshine mary closes up shop. Always has to be one heffa who wants to ruin my day with their MRA boot licking crap. Guess what? No matter what you say the MRA dudes just want you to shut your mouth and go make them a sandwich. Or better yet they want to replace you with a sexbot chef/maid.

Oh, FFS. I can see that women who want children but cannot have them may indeed be miserable, but there are plenty who just plain don't want any.

She's an infertile catholic so yeah probably some projecting going on there. She adopted one child, a son and apparently it was really really really hard to find a birthmother probably becuase they only wanted a white baby

[AVENues]

I don't have children but I'll always have huge bunches of pupils : ) And I'm currently working on not getting miserable and worked up over the fact that idiots like that exist and are allowed to blog.

[nelliebelle1197]

Obviously, her five year old didn't break two pictures yesterday by jumping onto walls and her two year old didn't throw a complete tantrum on the floor because you gave her the Hello Kitty cup and not the Spiderman cup. Those poor, miserable single women who didn't get to clean up broken glass and toddler tears!

[Loveday]

I have children, and they sometimes factor in to making me miserable and an ultra bitch.

I came into this thread to say this very thing. My two kids are grown now, and they STILL sometimes make me miserable and bitchy.

[snuggles911]

I grew up believing this and still struggle with guilt for having used birth control. I now attend a church that believes birth control is fine, but it's hard to feel confident about my decisions to limit my family size when so many Christians post stuff like this. I've read her blog a few times, but generally stay away b/c it's so misogynistic.

[Roycroft]

I don't understand why people like this are such busybodies in the first place, or why they think anyone is interested in their criticisms. How does it hurt them if someone like me doesn't have kids? It doesn't. As Thomas Jefferson said, it neither breaks their legs nor picks their pockets. :)

I think maybe they are trying too hard to justify their own choices by criticizing others, which makes me wonder how happy they really are in their little godly cocoons. :roll:

[Lady]

People are miserable when unhappy with their circumstances. I don't doubt there are childless women who are miserable because they dearly want children. But I also don't doubt there are miserable women with children.

Ultimately, the way to prevent misery is not forcing everyone to have kids, it is allowing everyone to make their own decisions and respecting those choices.

[rward]

I don't have and can't have children, and I'm not miserable at all. I never wanted kids...heck I didn't even like playing with baby dolls as a little girl.

I hated dolls as a child. When people would say things to me (at age 5) like "When you're a mother someday", I would freak right out. I have had nightmares, waking up screaming nightmares, my entire life of suddenly finding myself pregnant/a mother.

I am perfectly happy in my life. I have my husband, my dog, my garden, my video games, and I assure you, despite the passing annoyances of everyday life, the greater annoyances of disability, and the pain of chronic illness, I'm a happy person. I see the bright side of things. I've had smile lines since I was 22, I smile so much.

[turquoise]

grerp.blogspot.com/2012/02/piece-of-advice-101-pencil-have-kids.html

Recently, Gerp of "Lost art of Self preservation for women" made her blog public again to give you a taste of what this blog is about....

She basically watched three movies with women who were childless and saw that the childless women were unhappy in them and came to the conclusion that all women who don't have children must be miserable.

Yes, because Hollywood movies always provide an accurate picture of reality.

And birth control isn't just for "keeping women from having children." I wanted to have kids and am glad I was able to. However, I am also glad I was able to control when I had them and how many. Our family is better off because we didn't have kids when we were too young or too broke to support them. If we'd had the 7+ kids we could have had without birth control, we'd really be struggling.

[sandberry]

Well pretty much all the research shows that having children makes you less happy

I imagine in reality though that wanting children and being unable to have them makes you less happy

that not wanting children and being coerced into having them (or more of them than you want) makes you less happy

and that being able to have the children you want to have, in the timing you want makes you at least happy for a while, the long term impact on your happiness may be positive or negative depending on your experience of parenthood.

[JenniferJuniper]

It's not just the money. Not everyone is suited to parenthood, and that includes plenty of women. One of my sisters never wanted kids. She was not interested in babies at all and could never relate to kids in general. Her primary focus was on getting her career going and having fun with her life. She'd married young and was enjoying her life when my BIL suddenly put his foot down when she was in her early 30's and insisted they started having kids. She gave in and five years later they had two kids. She loves them, but her lack of parenting skills is showing now that the kids are in their teens. To outsiders, I suspect things look great. The oldest girl is captain on several sports teams, very popular, a good student, homecoming queen. In reality, she's an angry, bitter girl who never heard the word "no" growing up and now expects everything to be handed to her. She and her mother have never gotten along, and to make up for it my BIL became completely overindulgent, which of course led to friction between him and my sister. The environment in the house is so toxic I avoid going near it. My sister is counting down the days when she leaves for college and hopes that she does not return. The saddest thing for me is the fact that I've watched it all unfold for the past 18 years and there was little I could do about it.

I guess the moral of the story is that no one should have kids just to meet cultural expectations or to please someone else. If you do, there's a good chance you'll be destined to be miserable. And the same goes for your kids.

[nokidsmom]

It's not just the money. Not everyone is suited to parenthood, and that includes plenty of women. One of my sisters never wanted kids. She was not interested in babies at all and could never relate to kids in general. Her primary focus was on getting her career going and having fun with her life. She'd married young and was enjoying her life when my BIL suddenly put his foot down when she was in her early 30's and insisted they started having kids. She gave in and five years later they had two kids. She loves them, but her lack of parenting skills is showing now that the kids are in their teens. To outsiders, I suspect things look great. The oldest girl is captain on several sports teams, very popular, a good student, homecoming queen. In reality, she's an angry, bitter girl who never heard the word "no" growing up and now expects everything to be handed to her. She and her mother have never gotten along, and to make up for it my BIL became completely overindulgent, which of course led to friction between him and my sister. The environment in the house is so toxic I avoid going near it. My sister is counting down the days when she leaves for college and hopes that she does not return. The saddest thing for me is the fact that I've watched it all unfold for the past 18 years and there was little I could do about it.

I guess the moral of the story is that no one should have kids just to meet cultural expectations or to please someone else. If you do, there's a good chance you'll be destined to be miserable. And the same goes for your kids.

That's too bad about your sister's family. I guess that is your sister said "no" it would have impacted her marriage, perhaps ended it, but then there wouldn't be two kids born to a mom who really didn't want to be a parent and your niece wouldn't have the issues she has.

My sister had two kids and she loves them, but I can telll she's not real happy. She and her husband are the sorts to do things to meet expectations, have the kids, buy the house, do all the right things. My other sister wanted children but her husband turned out to be basically sterile due to a childhood illness. She wanted them so desperately that they were considering having my BIL go to a clinic for to be evaluated for possible fertility treatments but he ended up saying no to it. I don't think she's happy about that but has learned to deal. Me and my husband did consider children a few years after marriage but we weren't making a lot of money plus we were just happy enough being just us. Weren't really interested in changing that so it never happened. There's days I wonder if I should have but those days are few and I don't lose sleep over it.

[Childless]

I have a son. I love him to death and think he's the best thing I ever did, but I cannot say I was unhappy when before I was a parent. I loved my life pre-child and still miss it occasionally. I traveled the world. I had time to myself. I had hobbies. I ate meals in peace. I ate meals when they were still warm. If I was ill, I could just crawl into bed and not worry about anything else. I didn't have to take care of a kid while puking my guts up. I didn't have to burn vacation days to take my kid to the doctor. There were A LOT of bonuses to being child-free. Some of which I long for from time to time.

My advice to this woman would be to watch less tv/movies and venture out into the real world. She'd be surprised at what she finds.