Changes in the way we do (or don't) date

[SpeakNow]

(Not sure if this belongs in snark or chatter...mods feel free to move)

There was a really interesting piece in the NY Times about how dating culture has changed. It completely feeds into fundie's worst fears and nostalgia for the "good old days."

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/13/fashi ... d=all&_r=0

[crassy]

I don't think I have ever been on a traditional 'date' in my life. I'm nearly 37 and have been married twice and not once have I done the whole dinner and a movie thing. It was always hanging out with friends, doing things as a group, and then some people would pair off.

[erunerune]

I have been on traditional dates, as well as non-traditional "dates." I'm also an old lady of almost 37 btw so feel kind of removed from the Millenial "hook-up culture" analysis in the media.

I don't think it matters how people choose to meet or what settings they get to know one another in as long as common courtesy & respect are involved.

If someone will only "accept" a traditional date, that sounds kind of rigid & limiting, while desperately waiting around for a text to hang out with some dude as an afterthought in lieu of whatever would constitute more meaningful interaction sounds kind of pathetic.

Again, I'm a dinosaur married to an even older dinosaur.

[Rosa]

Magazines were running articles just like this back when I wasn't even old enough to date, in the early '80s. It's dumb. It hasn't really changed that much, except women are getting less shame for hooking up.

And if Millennials aren't doing dinner-and-a-movie or getting married, maybe it's because they have the highest unemployment rate of any group and half of them are still living with Mom & Dad? The economy is for shit. I bet nobody dated in the Great Depression either - they sure were less likely to get married and have babies.

[singsingsing]

As a millennial, I think the whole hook-up culture thing is exaggerated. I'm not saying it's not common, because it is. But it's not like OMG EVERYONE is doing it, and if you're NOT doing it you're SOL and you'll die alone in an apartment with thirty cats. It depends on who you're around most of the time. I was talking to my sister the other day, and she said, "Everyone smokes pot." And I said, "That's funny, because most of the people I know don't smoke pot." It's just that most of the people she's around do it, and most of the people I'm around don't. It skews your thinking and you start to believe that everyone is exactly like the people who are either the most present or the most vocal in your life.

The thing with the hook-up culture, if you don't want to participate in it: just don't. Make friends who also don't like it. Go places where it's not as common. Most of all, own your decision. Don't be afraid to tell a guy or girl that you're not interested in casual sex. If he/she doesn't like that, say goodbye. It's really not that difficult. I'm not interested in casual sex, and to be honest I'm almost happy that the hook-up culture exists because theoretically people can be more honest about what they actually want. Theoretically.