Ashley Schnarr's courtship is kaput.

[Morton Fan]

Kaput: stayathomedaughter.com/2012/12/03/sad-announcement/

The initial engagement announcement: stayathomedaughter.com/2012/07/12/good-men-are-still-out-there-introducing-mr-right/

[pixydust]

I thought that courtship was supposed to prevent this kind of hurt. I just don't get it....why do they think that courtship is so holy and avoids hurt when so many of this generations fundies have had broken courtships and engagements?

[Morton Fan]

I thought that courtship was supposed to prevent this kind of hurt. I just don't get it....why do they think that courtship is so holy and avoids hurt when so many of this generations fundies have had broken courtships and engagements?

I know, it really boggles the mind. She was also the one who posted marriage and courtship advice as soon as she was engaged - guess it didn't work for her.

[dairyfreelife]

Sad, but I'm a bit glad they won't be having children together. And honestly, these courtships and fast engagements make me sad when they break. Most people consider an engagement a commitment and the break of an engagement is sad. The courting and fast track to marriage seems harder broken seems harder than dating, break up before engagement and marriage considerations.

[Closed Womb]

I was reading some of the back posts (first I have read of this blogger) and it is very interesting. First, she wanted a story exactly like her parents (stayathomedaughter.com/2012/07/02/dead-dreams-broken-heart-before-i-met-mr-right/), then she meets Chris, who she admits she is not attracted to (stayathomedaughter.com/2012/07/05/our-courtship-story-meeting-mr-right/), or at least that is what I think she means when she says, "interested...but non-emotional".

Sounds to me like this poor dear is just desperate to transition from SAHD to SAHM and is forcing the issue. Luckily she realized she didn't love the dude before it was too late. (I'm calling that end to the relationship based on her fiance's post from yesterday: strivingforwisdom.wordpress.com/).

I'd say that she never "gave away pieces of her heart", but he did. Which begs the question, why did she say yes in the first place?

[ILoveJellybeans]

Courtship doesnt seem to be working, in fact, rushing into marriage with zero time spent alone together is a recipe for disaster as they have no idea how the other person acts when theyre alone or whether theyre compatible. Also training girls from a young age that their role in life is to get married and have babies means that theyve made up their own ideal fantasy of how life should be, but theyre thinking more about marrying the perfect godly man and having a bunch of cute kids than the actual reality of it, so theyre likely to jump into a marriage without thinking of whether theyre a good match for the man.

I think dating is the best way, best to find out whether youre a good match for them before you get married. Hearts may get broken, but the same can happen in courtship.

[Peas n carrots]

Sad, but I'm a bit glad they won't be having children together. And honestly, these courtships and fast engagements make me sad when they break. Most people consider an engagement a commitment and the break of an engagement is sad. The courting and fast track to marriage seems harder broken seems harder than dating, break up before engagement and marriage considerations.

TBH, the courtship model as practiced by some of the fundies we feature on FJ make dating look pretty good. Honestly, it's all potato/po-TAH-to IMO. Dating can be just holding hands or having sex on a regular basis. Fundies define dating as XYZ to justify the courtship model.

Ok, so reading the engagement post this stood out as major LOL to me.

I love to think about the symbolism of our two cultures one day coming together to picture the unity believers have in Christ regardless of our ethnic diversity.

Umm...the guy is white. I'm married to someone who is from Scotland and is white, but I've never thought of my relationship being ethnically diverse - because it's not.

[Lady Elaine]

I just find this so funny because of all of his self righteous posts about how Ashley is so perfect and perfect for him. How courtship is the best way...He's the best... blah blah blah. Ha! I wonder if those posts have been scrubbed yet?

ETA-- NOPE!! Still there! strivingforwisdom.wordpress.com/category/our-engagement/

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha! Oh, it's just so funny now because he was so smug about it all.

[dairyfreelife]

TBH, the courtship model as practiced by some of the fundies we feature on FJ make dating look pretty good. Honestly, it's all potato/po-TAH-to IMO. Dating can be just holding hands or having sex on a regular basis. Fundies define dating as XYZ to justify the courtship model.

Ok, so reading the engagement post this stood out as major LOL to me.

Umm...the guy is white. I'm married to someone who is from Scotland and is white, but I've never thought of my relationship being ethnically diverse - because it's not.

Agreed. Culturally diverse, but not ethnically. My bf and I are ethnically diverse. I'm white, he's not. Culturally diverse...not so much. Both grew up in the US, similar backgrounds in being raised. Only culture difference is he grew up in the city and I in a small suburb near rural area.

[Mela99]

These people need to get over themselves. It's no different than dating.

[shesinsane]

These people need to get over themselves. It's no different than dating.

No no no, they are totes diff! A boy never asks the father of the girl he wants to date for consent, this only happens in courtships. Courtships have Jesus involved, dating people aren't Christian. All dating involves graphic sexual contact, courtship never ever ever does. [ /sarcasm]

[J'ean Skirt]

TBH, the courtship model as practiced by some of the fundies we feature on FJ make dating look pretty good. Honestly, it's all potato/po-TAH-to IMO. Dating can be just holding hands or having sex on a regular basis. Fundies define dating as XYZ to justify the courtship model.

Ok, so reading the engagement post this stood out as major LOL to me.

Umm...the guy is white. I'm married to someone who is from Scotland and is white, but I've never thought of my relationship being ethnically diverse - because it's not.

Mr. Bisky is Welsh, and I don't consider our relationship ethnically diverse, but it's definitely culturally diverse. Even after 13 years we still find places were our childhood / growing up experiences are extremely different.

[Seven Severn]

So, is this three broken courtships/engagements so far this year? Bates, Maxwell, and now this one. Have there been others?

[mockingbird]

I just find this so funny because of all of his self righteous posts about how Ashley is so perfect and perfect for him. How courtship is the best way...He's the best... blah blah blah. Ha! I wonder if those posts have been scrubbed yet?

ETA-- NOPE!! Still there! strivingforwisdom.wordpress.com/category/our-engagement/

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha! Oh, it's just so funny now because he was so smug about it all.

Yes! Wasn't he the one talking about her wonderful harvest or something like that? LOL.

I love how the commenters are praising her on her blog too, for "listening to the Lord" and not staying in something that wasn't meant to be. Two say she is a great example to younger kids. What, exactly, happened to courtship protecting you from a broken heart? How is this any different from a regular break-up?

[nokidsmom]

I was reading some of the back posts (first I have read of this blogger) and it is very interesting. First, she wanted a story exactly like her parents (stayathomedaughter.com/2012/07/02/dead-dreams-broken-heart-before-i-met-mr-right/), then she meets Chris, who she admits she is not attracted to (stayathomedaughter.com/2012/07/05/our-courtship-story-meeting-mr-right/), or at least that is what I think she means when she says, "interested...but non-emotional".

Sounds to me like this poor dear is just desperate to transition from SAHD to SAHM and is forcing the issue. Luckily she realized she didn't love the dude before it was too late. (I'm calling that end to the relationship based on her fiance's post from yesterday: strivingforwisdom.wordpress.com/).

I'd say that she never "gave away pieces of her heart", but he did. Which begs the question, why did she say yes in the first place?

Sounds like she made the right decision for herself in the end. Maybe she was just so anxious to get married and Chris was the first guy to come along to make that possible so she jumped at the chance.

Read some of the guy's blog and he seems rather smug and arrogant. Maybe that's what she saw and it turned her off. So she probably dodged a bullet.

[ceg045]

Considering that one of the tenants of fundie wifedom is, "Ladies, change yourself so that you can be more pleasing to your man," the Grease-inspired engagement photos were a perfect fit.

[snickerz]

No no no, they are totes diff! A boy never asks the father of the girl he wants to date for consent, this only happens in courtships. Courtships have Jesus involved, dating people aren't Christian. All dating involves graphic sexual contact, courtship never ever ever does. [ /sarcasm]

And courtship always leads to "happily ever after," but of course dating never does!

[Peas n carrots]

Mr. Bisky is Welsh, and I don't consider our relationship ethnically diverse, but it's definitely culturally diverse. Even after 13 years we still find places were our childhood / growing up experiences are extremely different.

Certainly true the cultural differences can be big. I guess it's more of a SOTDRT fail to call it ethnic diversity.

[gustava]

I don't think she initiated the end of the courtship, necessarily. She says "it was made clear that Chris and I were not the best fit for each other." The use of passive voice sounds more like he did something or ending things.

[BravaAmica]

I don't think she initiated the end of the courtship, necessarily. She says "it was made clear that Chris and I were not the best fit for each other." The use of passive voice sounds more like he did something or ending things.

That was my impression as well.

[wendy-sparkles]

I don't think she initiated the end of the courtship, necessarily. She says "it was made clear that Chris and I were not the best fit for each other." The use of passive voice sounds more like he did something or ending things.

The top post on his blog is about receiving a phone call with unexpected tragic news. I don't think he was the one to end things.

[Swamptribe]

So, they got engaged, then dated and realized they weren't a good couple? So? Is this the new thing, you have to get engaged before you can get to know each other?

[Palimpsest]

The top post on his blog is about receiving a phone call with unexpected tragic news. I don't think he was the one to end things.

I read his blog post the same way. She dumped him. These fundies are so freaking verbose! I had a hard time ploughing through his sermon on tragedy.

[Jana814]

So, they got engaged, then dated and realized they weren't a good couple? So? Is this the new thing, you have to get engaged before you can get to know each other?

I think that is what happens in Fundie land!

[keeks21]

really bitchy comment coming in 3. 2. 1.

At least he got out before he had to do a lifetime of stupid themed photoshoots.