Ashley Schnarr's courtship is kaput.

[divadivine]

This sentence is totally f-ed up.

The Lord grew me much through this relationship and I would not take back those lessons for the world.

Who the hell writes that and thinks it sounds correct? SOTDRT epic fail.

[CrazySister]

This sentence is totally f-ed up.

The Lord grew me much through this relationship and I would not take back those lessons for the world.

Who the hell writes that and thinks it sounds correct? SOTDRT epic fail.

A fourth grader who thinks it sounds "grown-up." And then said fourth grader realizes the definition of "awkward sentence" and starts writing like an actual grown-up.

[ricky_ticky]

I don't think she initiated the end of the courtship, necessarily. She says "it was made clear that Chris and I were not the best fit for each other." The use of passive voice sounds more like he did something or ending things.

She wrote it that way to save him embarrassment and to sound submissive. It would be godly femininity to reject a guy.

[Minerva]

This sentence is totally f-ed up.

The Lord grew me much through this relationship and I would not take back those lessons for the world.

Who the hell writes that and thinks it sounds correct? SOTDRT epic fail.

It would be correct if she was an edible plant. You can say "he grew carrots this spring," or "she grew parsley". Oh, and you can grow your nails, and starfish can grow their arms. About the only correct use I can think of.

[bionicmlle]

really bitchy comment coming in 3. 2. 1.

At least he got out before he had to do a lifetime of stupid themed photoshoots.

No shit.

HOWEVER... am I the only one whose gaydar is pinging???? Perhaps he could be introduced to Mr. Lyndsie.

[Witsec7]

No shit.

HOWEVER... am I the only one whose gaydar is pinging???? Perhaps he could be introduced to Mr. Lyndsie.

I think I pinged on page one. :lol:

[Lady Elaine]

I think the " it was made known" means that the LORD made it known. Which is what fundie girls say if they are smart enough to realize that their dude is a smug, arrogant ass. (Not Anna Duggar, apparently.) When a man calls you " a wonderful harvest" he doesn't really love or respect you.

Looks like this is his second broken courtship..... hmmm......

[Bbfamteam]

If a guy ever referred to me as a "wonderful harvest" he'd be picking his smug ass up off the floor.

I would think that after two failed courtships good ol prince charming would be doing some self reflection. Oh wait, he's a fundie male, never mind.

[Morton Fan]

She was so smug to post all kinds of marriage advice, advice about finding her "soul mate," how courtship was amazing!!!!1!!!, etc. and yet doesn't recant ANY of it now? Is she going to begin a series of "where I went wrong" posts? Now, THAT would be interesting.

[childerowland]

I feel relieved for her. He comes across as incredibly arrogant, even for a fundie man. In almost every post he seems to include something about how men must lead and women submit. One post is nauseatingly titled 'So you want to lead a wife? Lead yourself!' (strivingforwisdom.wordpress.com/2012/09/30/so-you-want-to-lead-a-wife-lead-yourself/). He seems to have a lot of resentment towards women he perceives as controlling.

I wonder whether he's going to keep this one up: strivingforwisdom.wordpress.com/2012/07/03/why-i-chose-ashley-schnarr-above-all-other-women/ :?:

[shesinsane]

I feel relieved for her. He comes across as incredibly arrogant, even for a fundie man. In almost every post he seems to include something about how men must lead and women submit. One post is nauseatingly titled 'So you want to lead a wife? Lead yourself!' (strivingforwisdom.wordpress.com/2012/09/30/so-you-want-to-lead-a-wife-lead-yourself/). He seems to have a lot of resentment towards women he perceives as controlling.

I wonder whether he's going to keep this one up: strivingforwisdom.wordpress.com/2012/07/03/why-i-chose-ashley-schnarr-above-all-other-women/ :?:

From the days of Ashley love:

She Prepares for the future

While most girls her age are dreaming of meeting their husband and having a family…they are doing very little to prepare themselves for the next stage in life. However, Ashley has devoted herself to spending this stage in her life to do just that…PREPAREING!! What a novel idea! Instead of waiting until she is married to start preparing to be a wife (or a mother for that matter) she has been preparing for both long before I came on the scene.

In a previous paragraph he mentioned that she's got "a mother and grandmother who have been modeling biblical wife and motherhood for decades before her. " Um, if she's got a fundie mother, what else can she do all day other than prepare to be a wife and mother? She's a fundie gal, I think her daily options are limited to a) prayer/bible study, b) take care of any younger siblings, c) household chores. It's not like Ashley dropped out of school to prepare to marry this guy, her entire life is basically waiting for a man to marry her so she can transition from a girl to a (married) woman.

[ceg045]

LOL @ "PREPAREING!!!!1111"

[chaotic life]

He's a flight instructor at the local college and they live in Lynchburg, VA. Dontcha just LOVE the Liberty U fundies??? My poor little sister got forced into their high school and rejected by all of her Liberty friends when she came out of the closet. I was all....sweetie, did you REALLY want to conform to their idea of womanhood in the first place. She was young and didn't quite get it yet cause her response was, "OH, that's why I kept getting into trouble when I dared argue Biblical womanhood with my teachers there!"

That courtship sounds eeriely like Lisa Welchel's engagement. Doesn't sound like either of them actually loved each other, but he sounds apparently content to find the best breeding horse for his money. Too bad you cannot hope she will actually run away from fundieland. She's too busy battling depression realizing that she's an old maid because she didn't marry at 18 like her mother and now she's not even getting married in the forseeable future.

Honestly, I think these courtships are worse to break-up from than dating. When people date, they KNOW it's casual. When they court and then get engaged, they allow and attempt to force a maritial intimacy from the get-go. I bet it took a LOT of courage for this girl to break it off but now she's got to spin it or her reputation is forever ruined and she'll never get married if she tells the truth.

[Deleted03]

Sometimes I wonder if Lina got divorced already. I miss reading her :(

[masagoroll]

His blog is so annoying! I can't stand the way every post is all bullet points, and how he writes it like he is instructing his blog readers on how to do something, and most of all, his horrible random capitalization! It's like he just capitalizes any word he thinks seems important or more "spiritual" than the rest. Just reading that blog makes me want to punch him in the face!

[fundifugee]

I think I pinged on page one. :lol:

From her post "10 dates for courting couples" (hey, if you have dates doesn't it mean you are dating?):

"Antique Shopping. Both Chris and I love antiques."

ping!!

[AVENues]

Is it an epidemic that more and more courtships are failing, or is it the Internet that now brings attention to failed courtship announcements? Hm. I wonder how many we do not know about. I bet the fail to "success" ratio must be 1 in every 3 in real life.

:violin:

[Green Glass]

They can call it "courtship" instead of "dating" and enforce strict rules about not touching and not being alone etc etc, but that won't make the people involved not have feelings or not "give away pieces of their heart." They can't stop human nature like that.

[Dinorah]

I wasn't familiar with this blogger, but I don't see how her definition of "courtship" is really different from "dating", except for the emphasis on marriage and the (presumable) lack of sexual relations. She describes hanging out with a few guys and forming a couple with one, eventually, how's that not dating?

I was also, thinking, concerning the fundies' obviously mistaken idea that "courtship" prevents heartbreak, why exactly are they so terrified of break-ups? Sure, it sucks to have a break up, especially if you're the one who gets dumped, but it's a part of life, like many other sorrows and disappointments, and can even help you learn from your mistakes and better understand what you want from a relationship. Most people don't become clinically depressed or jump out of a window because of a break up, and if they do, chances are there were bigger underlying issues.

[luckystone]

So, they got engaged, then dated and realized they weren't a good couple? So? Is this the new thing, you have to get engaged before you can get to know each other?

Well Anna said pretty explicitly that her honeymoon was great because it was time alone with Smuggar and she really got to know him! Yuck!

I find it bizarre they get engaged then find out they aren't a good fit. FAIL

It's sad to hear about break ups but the more they are the more people will realise courtship is basically dating and is not perfect.

No wait...they aren't upset because they didn't have sex. So it's all good for the future. Or something.

His views on servant-leadership grew a seed within me that flowered into an excited desire to one day submit to him as my husband!

Omg...

She Prepares for the future

While most girls her age are dreaming of meeting their husband and having a family…they are doing very little to prepare themselves for the next stage in life. However, Ashley has devoted herself to spending this stage in her life to do just that…PREPAREING!! What a novel idea! Instead of waiting until she is married to start preparing to be a wife (or a mother for that matter) she has been preparing for both long before I came on the scene.

Was he home-schooled? Removing the "e" when you add an "ing" is one of the first grammar/spelling things you learn in primary school!

[fauxmenno]

This news kind of disappoints me, if only because it seemed like they were a really good match for each other. Both of them seemed really smug and condescending so they were perfect for each other. Then again, maybe they saw that in each other and realized how much that attitude sucks to be around and that's why they ended it.

[moodygirl86]

He's a flight instructor at the local college and they live in Lynchburg, VA. Dontcha just LOVE the Liberty U fundies??? My poor little sister got forced into their high school and rejected by all of her Liberty friends when she came out of the closet. I was all....sweetie, did you REALLY want to conform to their idea of womanhood in the first place. She was young and didn't quite get it yet cause her response was, "OH, that's why I kept getting into trouble when I dared argue Biblical womanhood with my teachers there!"

That courtship sounds eeriely like Lisa Welchel's engagement. Doesn't sound like either of them actually loved each other, but he sounds apparently content to find the best breeding horse for his money. Too bad you cannot hope she will actually run away from fundieland. She's too busy battling depression realizing that she's an old maid because she didn't marry at 18 like her mother and now she's not even getting married in the forseeable future.

Honestly, I think these courtships are worse to break-up from than dating. When people date, they KNOW it's casual. When they court and then get engaged, they allow and attempt to force a maritial intimacy from the get-go. I bet it took a LOT of courage for this girl to break it off but now she's got to spin it or her reputation is forever ruined and she'll never get married if she tells the truth.

CL, I'm glad to hear your sister takes no shit! Tell her to carry on as she is because FWIW, I think she sounds ace!

[mrs]

She Prepares for the future

While most girls her age are dreaming of meeting their husband and having a family…they are doing very little to prepare themselves for the next stage in life. However, Ashley has devoted herself to spending this stage in her life to do just that…PREPAREING!! What a novel idea! Instead of waiting until she is married to start preparing to be a wife (or a mother for that matter) she has been preparing for both long before I came on the scene.

Well I think that is a waste of time because modern appliances such as dishwashers, laundry machines, vacuums, etc. have made cleaning more efficient. There is a interesting article in the Telegraph discussing the advances in technology and the time women spend a week doing housework.

The study of 577 adult women in the UK shows that on average, ladies spend 18.2 hours a week on housework, including cleaning, vacuuming, food shopping and cooking. This compares to 44 hours a week on average in 1965, according to official figures from the Department for Education.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-life/9721147/Women-spend-half-as-much-time-on-housework-today-compared-to-1960s.html

[chaotic life]

I don't think that evaulation on housework is reflective of all fundie families. They tend to eschew a lot of modern appliances. I'm sure they don't have as much work hours as that long ago but they still would likely show more than the average person in an industrialized nation. It's my experience that they consider it a source of pride to put forth more effort and refuse to use so many modern conveniences.

[pixydust]

Honestly, I think these courtships are worse to break-up from than dating. When people date, they KNOW it's casual. When they court and then get engaged, they allow and attempt to force a maritial intimacy from the get-go. I bet it took a LOT of courage for this girl to break it off but now she's got to spin it or her reputation is forever ruined and she'll never get married if she tells the truth.

Definitely! Also, you have to admit that this is not the One God Had Planned For You, and that you made a mistake.