An item in our local newspaper's police blotter.

[Witsec7]

Warning: 8:31 a.m., 3500 block of Scenic Drive. A deputy gave a resident a warning for allowing one of his chickens to cross the road. No motive for the crossing was provided.

[Deleted06]

Kinda hard up for news in your area?? :lol:

Oh who am I to talk? I used to live in a small town where if you were unlucky enough to get a traffic ticket, that made the weekly paper!

[Witsec7]

Kinda hard up for news in your area?? :lol:

Oh who am I to talk? I used to live in a small town where if you were unlucky enough to get a traffic ticket, that made the weekly paper!

This is from a paper that covers a college town of 50k in population. There are always livestock in the road reported in the blotter but I think someone was really bored.

[terranova]

My husband works for a independant weekly paper servicing a similar sized area. There are always old men coming in wanting us to run stories on amusingly shaped vegetables they've grown. :lol:

[OkToBeTakei]

No motive? Bit concerning.

Maybe wanted to get to the other side :P

[salsa]

That's cute!

(you mean it wasn't crossing to get away from its fundie chicken-keepers?)

In fundie-land, I suppose the chicken would have crossed the road because it has a rebellious spirit and is an evil, willful creature. The farmer should bring it back and clip its wings and make it sit on its nest until it behaves. Roosters, on the other hand, have the nature to cross roads to make sure we're kept safe. We are like the chicken, rebellious and evil and we must have our wings clipped by our headship.

[sippin0nsunshine]

Okay I was confused at first. I read "chickens" as "children" so I was like wtf? Got all the way to Salsa's post and realised it said chickens. :doh:

[LaydNimue]

:lol: Good one! I like your town's sense of humor :clap:

A few years ago when I was living in a small rural town here in Colorado the cops found several pounds of marijuana. The local newspaper published, on the front page, a photo of the officers wearing full gear and brandishing shotguns while surrounding the packages of weed. The caption read, "Officers are asking for the owners of nearly X-pounds of pot to come forward and claim their property."

I always regret not clipping that article so I could send it to one of the late night talk shows or the Ellen show. You should send yours in!

[Witsec7]

My husband works for a independant weekly paper servicing a similar sized area. There are always old men coming in wanting us to run stories on amusingly shaped vegetables they've grown. :lol:

Heck we have a whole County Fair category for oddly shaped vegetables :lol:

[CanadianHippie]

Send it to Ellen!

[JesusFightClub]

:lol: :clap:

The best bit is "no motive was provided" :)

Reminds me of my small town's newspaper. They specialise in unfortunate juxtapositions of headlines with photos. So one day we had "NOTORIOUS PAEDO ARRESTED IN TOWN" directly above a photo of Prince Andrew.

[bellicosebroad]

Kinda hard up for news in your area?? :lol:

Oh who am I to talk? I used to live in a small town where if you were unlucky enough to get a traffic ticket, that made the weekly paper!

In my grandparents' town (pop. 633), the editor of the paper calls each house throughout the week to see who's come visitin'. :-) Then she includes a brief mention of each in the Sunday paper: "Edith Aynesdale welcomed son Vincent and daughter-in-law Abby, grandchildren Mike, Cara, and Vincent Jr., and dog Pooch for a visit on Thursday; all are from Billingsworth." :) She's been there for years and is carrying on the tradition from the previous editor, her mom. We used to get a kick out of seeing our names in the paper after we'd been visiting Grandpa and Grandma.

[acheronbeach]

So one day we had "NOTORIOUS PAEDO ARRESTED IN TOWN" directly above a photo of Prince Andrew.

Fucking amazing, LOLOL.

[Witsec7]

LE is busy in my sleepy little college town this summer. It seems our local police are well versed in forensics.

THE FORENSICS OF EGGING: 9:15 p.m., 2800 block of Northwest Bryant Street. Two eggs were thrown toward a house. One landing on the roof; the other landed on a patio. Officers said they determined the direction from which the eggs were thrown by their “splatter pattern.†Police believe it was a random egging.

[Lainey]

:lol: :clap:

The best bit is "no motive was provided" :)

Reminds me of my small town's newspaper. They specialise in unfortunate juxtapositions of headlines with photos. So one day we had "NOTORIOUS PAEDO ARRESTED IN TOWN" directly above a photo of Prince Andrew.

Haha! That actually made me LOL!

I love small towns. I wish I still lived in one. Although the most interesting thing in my hometown newspaper was the "Bricks and Bouquets" section, where you either complained about someone who pissed you off, or thanked someone who did something nice for you.

[Witsec7]

Haha! That actually made me LOL!

I love small towns. I wish I still lived in one. Although the most interesting thing in my hometown newspaper was the "Bricks and Bouquets" section, where you either complained about someone who pissed you off, or thanked someone who did something nice for you.

We have 'Roses and Raspberries'.

It is telling that the right wing editor has given a tacit go ahead to the decriminalization of pot in this sundays editorial. Which is even odder since they don't print editorials on the lords day. :roll: The editor serves two papers one in my very blue town and the sister paper in a neighboring very very very red town that I lived in briefly.

[JesusFightClub]

We also had some of the weirdest headlines ever. A story about some medieval reconstructionists who put on a display at the weekend for local schoolchildren was "SATURDAY KNIGHTS ALRIGHT FOR FIGHTING" :roll:

I and my family have been in the paper multiple times so you can see they were hard up for news ;) An ex partner of mine was put in the jail for armed robbery, which made the news. I was "Cute three year old [JFC] uses the slide at local playgroup". My dad has been "Local man [JFC-dad] spoke inspiringly at a town hall meeting to [whatever group]" quite a few times as he does public speaking. My brother got half a page to himself when he was arrested (long story).

My mum cuts all these out of the paper and carefully puts them in a scrapbook. I ventured to suggest my brother's arrest and conviction didn't quite fit with the rest, but she put it in anyway :lol: