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Grimalkin

Unintentionally hilarious religious art

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Howl

Oozing for My Lord

"Yesterday, in church, the LORD gave me the title for this book."

He is an awesome God! and so forth. 

This explains everything. 

Edited by Howl

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Iokaste
On 8/1/2017 at 6:02 PM, AmazonGrace said:

7ac3a51799ccc4910a3464af17a07cef.jpg

Art history time! :dance:
It's not actually that medieval painters couldn't paint babies (or that bebies looked weirder then than they do now), it's because they are trying to convey something about the nature of the Christ child. Jesus was perfectly formed and fully human/fully God from the time that he was conceived, which they tried to tell the beholder by painting a "homunculus"
Homunculus meaning "little man" or "little human", is ment to express that Jesus was unchanging, and so ofcourse didn't look like any other regular baby, and slowly that became the standard for how you painted a small child. 
 

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Howl
39 minutes ago, Iokaste said:

Art history time! :dance:
It's not actually that medieval painters couldn't paint babies (or that bebies looked weirder then than they do now), it's because they are trying to convey something about the nature of the Christ child. Jesus was perfectly formed and fully human/fully God from the time that he was conceived, which they tried to tell the beholder by painting a "homunculus"
Homunculus meaning "little man" or "little human", is meant to express that Jesus was unchanging, and so of course didn't look like any other regular baby, and slowly that became the standard for how you painted a small child. 

But where is the neatly trimmed beard and wavy, shoulder-length hair?

(@lokaste, thanks for this mini tutorial!) 

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Mercer

I spent probably a full minute trying to figure out how that caption went with the picture of Trump and Pence asleep in their chairs before I realized the person who put it together was (I assume) intending that they were in prayer.

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Howl
16 minutes ago, Mercer said:

I spent probably a full minute trying to figure out how that caption went with the picture of Trump and Pence asleep in their chairs before I realized the person who put it together was (I assume) intending that they were in prayer.

Yup, it's a whole new world of photo shop out there! 

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Terrie
43 minutes ago, Mercer said:

I spent probably a full minute trying to figure out how that caption went with the picture of Trump and Pence asleep in their chairs before I realized the person who put it together was (I assume) intending that they were in prayer.

Trump looks like my nephew when he's put in time out. 

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Palimpsest
On 1/7/2017 at 0:04 AM, Grimalkin said:

 

      I think this is something Gabe would do.

OMG.  Gabe could have posed for that - but wearing a kilt.

We need that Jesus' penis light switch cover in this thread but darned if I can find an image.

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WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?

That's just awful!! Who in their right mind would seriously do that! :laughing-rolling:

ETA--It gets worse:

Spoiler

Screenshot_20170117-142034.jpg

And not just Jesus:

Spoiler

Screenshot_20170117-141753.jpg

Oh, I need some eyewash and brain bleach!:eyewash: :brain-bleach:

Edited by WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?
added pics

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mango_fandango
1 hour ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

That's just awful!! Who in their right mind would seriously do that! :laughing-rolling:

ETA--It gets worse:

  Reveal hidden contents

Screenshot_20170117-142034.jpg

And not just Jesus:

  Reveal hidden contents

Screenshot_20170117-141753.jpg

Oh, I need some eyewash and brain bleach!:eyewash: :brain-bleach:

Those have to be deliberate, surely? You'd have to be a real dumbass to not realise...

If you google "homunculus" you get some very freaky images. 

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ADoyle90815

cat.jpg

I'm going to need some of that stuff as well after those light switches.:eyewash::brainbleach::brainbleach::omg:

Edited by ADoyle90815

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JesusPony

This thread needs to be blessed by Black Jesus and Ben Carson. The dent in Jesus' head shows that Carson is his personal brain surgeon. snopes link

jesus.jpg

Edited by JesusPony

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WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?
1 hour ago, mango_fandango said:

Those have to be deliberate, surely?

snipped

I think the ones I posted must be intentional, but the original "Honor Thy Father and Mother" plate that @tadpole posted may well have been unintended. 

Apparently, there's a market for phallic light switches, though. (Non-religious phallic switch plates behind these spoilers.)

Spoiler

20170117_142910.png

Spoiler

Screenshot_20170117-142149.jpg

I didn't even have to google anything "dirty". I just searched for 'Jesus light switch plate'.

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Black Aliss
On 1/16/2017 at 10:23 AM, Cleopatra7 said:

 I wish I could see what's on the cover of the book/magazines that the random black guy in the front is holding.

The Five Thousand Year Leap by W. Cleon Skousen.

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Palimpsest
5 hours ago, tadpole said:

Is this the one?

Yes!  Thank you! :worship:

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church_of_dog
4 hours ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

I think the ones I posted must be intentional, but the original "Honor Thy Father and Mother" plate that @tadpole posted may well have been unintended. 

Apparently, there's a market for phallic light switches, though. (Non-religious phallic switch plates behind these spoilers.)

  Hide contents

20170117_142910.png

  Hide contents

Screenshot_20170117-142149.jpg

I didn't even have to google anything "dirty". I just searched for 'Jesus light switch plate'.

This is what graced the switch at one end of the hall in the house I grew up in...

Spoiler

il_570xN.920194666_torg.jpg

Yeah, my dad's humor.  We were a jokey family.  We also had this framed image greeting us just inside the front door:

Spoiler

main-qimg-8d2d1c2208c0256612d54a71c50297

 

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CyborgKin

I wasn't familiar with that Newsboys song with the breakfast cereal.  I've never really liked their style much.  Switchfoot is more my thing.  I've been to a couple of Switchfoot concerts.  Also Paul Colman Trio.  I particularly like the lyrics of the PC3 song 'In the Middle' cos I often feel like that:

Quote

sometimes i feel like i’m in the middle
i’m not good enough for you
not dirty enough for some
sometimes i feel like i’m in the middle
not safe enough for you
not crazy enough for some

 

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LadyCrow1313
On ‎1‎/‎16‎/‎2017 at 2:28 PM, formergothardite said:

Why do I immediately think of the NIN song "Reptile" when I read this title? (The title is just so wrong in a myriad of ways.)

On ‎1‎/‎16‎/‎2017 at 0:33 PM, applejack said:

This song started going through my head when I saw this and I can't stop giggling now.

Everywhere, it's been the same
(Feeling)
Like I'm outside in the rain
(Wheeling)
Free to try and find a game
(Dealing)
Cards for sorrow
Cards for pain
'Cause I've seen blue skies
Through the tears in my eyes
And I realize I'm going home

-- "I'm Going Home" from the Rocky Horror Picture Show

 

My profile picture & I approve of this, 1234785678234657812365786%!!!  Tim Curry's voice in this song is just so epic, even if he looks like a chicken.  ;) 

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Howl

Thank you, Scientology.  That's an Auditor at the top left.  Yes, that is someone who is better than (from left to right) Mohammed, Jesus, Confucius, Buddha, Lao-tse, Zoroaster, Moses, Abraham, Zeus(?).  From the 1994 Scientology Handbook, featuring Mark Headley as Bed Sheet Jesus (for those following along with Leah Remini's Scientology and the Aftermath).  Tony Ortega tells  the whole story here: Behold, it’s Scientology Jesus as you’ve never seen him before!

Screenshot 2017-01-18 at 2.44.41 PM.png

 

This is from the 1977 Scientology Volunteer Minister’s handbook, which is pretty funny in its own way. 

Screenshot 2017-01-18 at 3.35.27 PM.png

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Blahblah
On 10/01/2017 at 11:26 AM, IreneIssh said:

Found a couple more hilarious book covers: 

15978767_10208540010994549_696166324_n.jpg51borFTvLKL._SX312_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg

 

Whoever Lorraine Peterson is, she has a bunch of hilarious book titles. Some others: 41PMlxkPaTL.jpg1d52234468d2bc4dee6060325f1ee9dd.jpg51GW9FMC8ML.jpg

Just catching up with this thread (awesome by the way). 

I googled Lorraine Peterson and scarily she looks almost EXACTLY as I imagined her....

IMG_0499.JPG

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fraurosena

SOTDRT fails galore! 
(But what can you expect from someone whose parents couldn't even spell Elisabeth Anne properly? :pb_lol:)

How many can you count?

sinful birthcontrol.jpg

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formergothardite

I remember Dying of Embarrassment and Living to Tell About It! I don't remember much about it, I just remember having the devotional. 

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LadyCrow1313
43 minutes ago, fraurosena said:

SOTDRT fails galore! 
(But what can you expect from someone whose parents couldn't even spell Elisabeth Anne properly? :pb_lol:)

How many can you count?

sinful birthcontrol.jpg

I shouldn't try to make sense of such nonsensical gibberish at an early hour... or at any hour, really. Or maybe I just need some coffee.

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