Man went number two on grocery self checkout scanner

[47of74]

Yeah, I know this story screams Florida, but it didn't happen there.  This one comes to us from Ohio...

thesmokinggun.com/documents/stupid/kroger-pooper-popped-563891

Quote

A judge yesterday ordered an Ohio man to stay away from the Kroger store where he allegedly stripped naked and defecated on a self-checkout scanner.

Colin Murphy, 23, was arrested early Sunday following a repulsive incident inside the Kroger market in the Hyde Park neighborhood of Cincinnati (where Murphy lives).

According to criminal complaints, Murphy entered the Kroger and “stripped naked in front of” a male employee. The suspect, police noted, smelled of alcohol, had slurred speech, and staggered as he walked.

After disrobing, Murphy “defecated on U-Scan it,” investigators allege

Gross.  Not surprised to learn alcohol was involved. 

And then alcohol said "Take a dump on that self checkout, it's hilarious."
But alcohol was wrong.
So very wrong.

 

[THERetroGamerNY]

Pretty sure there's no PLU number for that...

[Toothfairy]

What is wrong with people

[OreoMidnight]

This is so disgusting! I don't understand people who drink so much that they do such stupid things. I like to have a few drinks but I hope I am always in control of my actions. 

[Season of life...]

Uh, we need a price check over here...

[Starry]

Ewwww.

Poor guy who had to clean that up!

 

...the drunkie would maybe like a stay with the Nauglers though...he can apparently poop wherever he wants.

[RosyDaisy]

He should have been made to clean up his own shit.

[SnazzyNazzy]

Ohio....aka "Florida's drunk uncle".

[LadyCrow1313]

On ‎6‎/‎1‎/‎2016 at 0:05 AM, THERetroGamerNY said:

Pretty sure there's no PLU number for that...

No plu number, no, but a poo number, yes. Either way that's just nasty & disgusting. Hope the belt was removed & destroyed.

[19 cats and counting]

I'm surprised this didn't happen at Walmart.

[47of74]

11 hours ago, 19 cats and counting said:

I'm surprised this didn't happen at Walmart.

Right.  The article was titled, "Man Pooped On Self-Checkout Scanner At Mart."  You just have to say Mart to get people thinking about Wally World.  And if this had happened there I would not have been surprised.  I worked at Wally World for just under two years, long enough to get turned off to them for life.  There were some real, shall we say, interesting folks that came through the store.  Especially around Christmas time. 

On 5/31/2016 at 11:34 PM, Season of life... said:

Uh, we need a price check over here...

Price check on aisle number two!

[roddma]

On 5/31/2016 at 11:40 PM, Starry said:

Ewwww.

Poor guy who had to clean that up!

 

...the drunkie would maybe like a stay with the Nauglers though...he can apparently poop wherever he wants.

Hilarious but sadly true. I know ppl often pee on themselves when they get drunk but i've never known anyone to do this  .

[mango_fandango]

Jesus. This is the kind of thing comedians joke about- self scanners are notoriously irritating and comedians have joked about doing a dump on one to demonstrate exactly what they think of it and it's "UNEXPECTED ITEM IN THE BAGGING AREA!" nonsense. But for this to happen for real? Bleeeeeecccccchhhhhhhh.

(Also, is Florida a notorious state for dumbasses? I've noticed the pronouncement 'lolz only in Florida' a couple of times in here and wondered if Florida is notorious for stupid eejits.)

[infooverload]

Ohio....aka "Florida's drunk uncle".

This cracked me up. Ohio is heavily featured on In the Name of God podcast. The podcast features crimes committed by members of clergy.