Dragonfly--A Lori Alexander Wannabe

[AlwaysDiscerning]

I found this latest "godly' woman on Lori Alexander's blog. At first she seems innocent enough, but check out the discussion here 

https://biblicalgenderroles.com/2016/04/25/benefits-sexually-obedient-wife/

and how she continually lays into Anna, despite Anna being as nice as can be. 

A sample----

 

Dragonfly:

Quote

 

Dragonfly

APRIL 30, 2016 AT 1:39 PM

Anna, you say this, “So I guess when I was saying that i’d love to see a discussion on how to prevent marriage stories like the ones we see on this blog, I was meaning on a more individual basis, and I should have been more clear on that. ”

and yet you feel like I only care about men and their pain (!!!!). LOL… Anna, the majority of my blog is devoted to creating discussions that will prevent problems like this!! Even right now I’m in the middle of spending many hours of my free-time trying to write for women and intentionally targeting women who are in painful marriages. This series will probably take 9-10 weeks!!! And I’ve already had requests to flesh it out to be longer (which is equal parts wonderful and daunting)! Saying I “don’t care” about women, when I’m spending so much of my time writing to and for them, is offensive because its disregarding everything I’m doing right now, and I think you either meant it to be offensive, or didn’t care if it would come across that way (subconsciously), just like you knew, to some degree, that telling the men they were bitter or whining would also more than likely offend them. We know when we’re sayign something that will probably offend someone. You thought the offense would be justified in that you want to “help” them get over it already… what if I had acted like that with that woman with the dying husband? It would not have helped her, but would only have served to make her angry with me and offended, even if I was partially right. Really, I think this behavior (saying something you know will probably offend someone) comes from anger when we try to control people (so that your sister wouldn’t see their behavior or thoughts).

 

I guess she missed Lori's flowchart on being offended?! She is so upset that Anna doesn't appreciate the hours, weeks she spends helping women online. Its like she wants a frickin medal, but hey no one is asking her to do this. 

She goes on and on, making no sense:

Quote

 

The first thing you learn when writing a blog to help fix marriages, is that you can’t and shouldn’t say whatever you feel about them. You can’t shame the men who are still having a hard time with their marriage or with the way their wife treats them. That doesn’t work with women either, (in fact, you may make women even more offended with these words!) in general, shaming them for “bitterness” or “whining,” doesn’t work because you’re invalidating their experience and pain. They may not be at a place spiritually in order to be confronted with that, so you have to take a much gentler approach. You have to have a lot more self-control and learn how to speak a little more diplomatically so that you don’t completely shut people down or cause them more pain by saying they shouldn’t still be bitter or “whining,” when they’re still being sinned against, with no end in sight.

“but ultimately it doesn’t really matter to me who the majority is, it’s how to actually fix the problem.”

To me and many others, the practical thing to fix this problem, is that we have to focus on fixing what is hurting men (the majority) in this society and in marriage. Trying to say the majority doesn’t matter, is highly unpractical to fixing a problem that is effecting the majority!!! And yes, this means we have to focus a big part on how wives sin against their husbands, because like Jeff and Jonadab said (that you took offense to and started attacking them about), the wives are getting a constant free pass from churches and preachers and Christian friends everywhere. They have no incentive to change at the moment, in general, because of this major problem.

So part of fixing this marriage crisis, is working on the WIVES’ attitude and them becoming truly virtuous women, who love to do their husbands good not evil, all the days of their lives. It’s focusing on helping women learn to not sin so much against their husbands. That’s not taking “the men’s side,” it’s just confronting the real issue head on. If the majority are men being affected by their wive’s selfishness and sins, then we need to confront the ways wives are sinning with practical things that can help them realize it and change. Ignoring the majority, because you said “it doesn’t matter,” sounds a lot like what the feminists think (that men’s issues don’t matter, even if they are the majority having problems right now). It is very wrong and actually cruel. We need to try to see the sexes equally, part of that is being able to admit when it’s become unequal (the majority being hurt being men) and then looking for a solution that may look “unequal” to some people out of touch, but it’s practical because it’s going to re-establish the “equality” between them (meaning it won’t be out of balance anymore). This is what those authors are able to see, and that’s why they write about the war on boys/men. Women and the feminization of society, is what has caused this, the attitudes many women have – have caused this. So fighting for men’s rights isn’t “taking men’s side,” it’s trying to re-establish a society that VALUES men again. Hopefully this makes sense.

And just to be clear, I get misjudged a lot, so I’m not really offended at what you said, just wanted to point out how it doesn’t make sense, and how saying something like that, just like calling the men whiny or bitter, isn’t really helpful in relating to people. At least, not if you really want to help them

 

So after she is done with her godly, scolding rant...she decides she isn't offended after all!

[Florita]

My take on Dragonfly is that she is an attention whore trying to be the new Sunshine Mary. I think she was leg-humping Lori just to siphon readers and get on the FJ radar. She blathers on and on with the same old tired manosphere schtick that has been discussed and discussed ad nauseam.

Her attack on Anna is typical of the loyal red-pill wife crowd. Take offense at an imaginary slight and write an overlong, self-serving rant about nothing.

She supposedly had a troll/poe fan-blog. I'd like to read that so if anyone knows its whereabouts please share. I've tried all the "goggle tactics" that I know and got nowhere.

[desertvixen]

I agree with @Florita.

This whole concern with sexual obedience just makes me want to go stab someone.  I agree that if one partner is constantly saying no, that is a concern that needs to be addressed - we all have sexual needs.  But people need to do what works for them, and not some cookie-cutter design of a marriage. 

My stepfather, who is very alpha-male, does the dishes 90% of the time.  Why?  Because a)he likes to have a clean house and b)he realizes as an adult that he helps contribute to the lack of cleanliness.  And c)because seeing dishes in the sink drives him nuts.

My partner often does the dishes when I cook.  Why?  Because a)I don't like to relax until things are tidy and b)if he does dishes, that's more time I have to do him.  (And for him to do me.  Contrary to Lori's belief, it does take more than 10 minutes.)

Neither of these men have been feminized or emasculated or whatever by the fact that their wife/female partner works.

[AlwaysDiscerning]

3 hours ago, Florita said:

My take on Dragonfly is that she is an attention whore trying to be the new Sunshine Mary. I think she was leg-humping Lori just to siphon readers and get on the FJ radar. She blathers on and on with the same old tired manosphere schtick that has been discussed and discussed ad nauseam.

Her attack on Anna is typical of the loyal red-pill wife crowd. Take offense at an imaginary slight and write an overlong, self-serving rant about nothing.

She supposedly had a troll/poe fan-blog. I'd like to read that so if anyone knows its whereabouts please share. I've tried all the "goggle tactics" that I know and got nowhere.

I think that is a better comparison actually than Lori, since dragonfly has the red pill -manosphere thing going on. She doesn't seem like a fundie Christian, not modest enough---but really maybe she is a new breed---a cross betweee SSM and Lori...eeeks!

It sure seems in the manosphere once one woman is out, the next is up to bat. 

 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

Google turned up this post where she is mentioned

https://insanitybytes2.wordpress.com/2016/01/13/imbroglio/
 

Quote

 

I shall spare you all the details of Dragonfly flitting about everywhere. Dragonfly, for those who don’t know has called me menopausal, bipolar, and declared I  threatened to kill people, on account of an unfortunate reference to Arsenic and Old Lace. She did however, give a lovely performance in this thread where she says, “…. I do think it would be good if churches knew what their men and women were doing online, for those bloggers’ OWN benefit so that they aren’t getting away with doing evil…”

 

 

[Meridae]

This doesn't have much to do with this Dragonfly lady, but I've been having a conversation on Instagram with a fundie-lite user in regards to the roles of men and women. While it's hard to read what these people have to say, quite frankly it's even more nauseating when actually talking to them about their views. It makes me sick to think that these people (women in particular) believe females aren't worth respect or social status simply because they don't have penises. And yes, that's exactly what this lady told me, is that it's Biblical for women to NEED to respect men but it's not required for men to respect us. Simply and utterly nauseating. My father, uncles, my brother, and my boyfriend would throw an utter fit if some nut job told them that there was no need for them to listen to my ideas or respect me as a human being. I am JUST as valuable and worthy of respect as any man and thank heavens the majority of men on the planet realize that too. Jesus respected every woman he came into contact with- why do fundies think they get a pass on it? If Jesus did it, MAYBE YOU SHOULD TOO!

[Florita]

5 hours ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

Google turned up this post where she is mentioned

https://insanitybytes2.wordpress.com/2016/01/13/imbroglio/
 

 

Yes! I believe you found it. There is also this from the same blog 9/15/15:

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Let’s begin with Dragonfly who posts these lovely words to me,

“LOL IB… you are so mentally ill… you crave all this drama with these men here, and any woman that comments here. And again, its just embarrassing to see how you’re behaving – I bet your regular Christian commenters have no idea what you’re doing over here. And as far as being a “pretty princess,” well at least I’m not some old, menopausal, ugly woman harassing men all day long, and turning into a raging lunatic at night. LOL… I’ll take the pretty princess insult any day”

Charming little thing isn’t she? Dragonfly is a red pill Christian gal, one of perhaps a dozen or so I’ve now met. “Red pill” being the key words there, because they’re more like a pit of vipers than they are followers of Christ. They remind me of the three vamps Bram Stroker’s Dracula who hiss about all seductively, ready to drain somebody’s blood.

Don’t ask me why, but for some reason the red pills are very down on older women. I suspect mommy issues, hence the relentless mocking and shaming of the so-called menopausal. Also, you have to be downright stupid to follow red pill nonsense, and stupid is a condition that does tend to favor the young.

 

Sounds like these two have had a longstanding quarrel in the manosphere world. 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

That is a great find too, what a nasty bitch. I don't think that level ever came out of SSM and not Lori. And of course the men fawn all over and think she is qualified to be teaching on being a virtuous woman now.

 I wouldn't call that blog thee troll blog though as it looks like its just a few posts about her. Probably dragonfly magnified it and if she is that self absorbed she will see a few posts and just assume the entire blog is about HER. 

[Florita]

She has a second blog: http://insanitybytes22.blogspot.com/

Not a troll blog either, but she does write about the stupidity and hypocrisy of the manosphere. I suppose that counts as being all about Dragonfly even if she is never mentioned by name.

2 hours ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

 I wouldn't call that blog thee troll blog though as it looks like its just a few posts about her. Probably dragonfly magnified it and if she is that self absorbed she will see a few posts and just assume the entire blog is about HER. 

Bulls-eye.

[desertvixen]

12 hours ago, Meridae said:

TIt makes me sick to think that these people (women in particular) believe females aren't worth respect or social status simply because they don't have penises. And yes, that's exactly what this lady told me, is that it's Biblical for women to NEED to respect men but it's not required for men to respect us.

Come on now, @Meridae, we all know women don't NEED respect.  We just need love.  /sarcasm, looking for bleach now

[Meridae]

1 hour ago, desertvixen said:

Come on now, @Meridae, we all know women don't NEED respect.  We just need love.  /sarcasm, looking for bleach now

Ironically the "lady" I was talking to was a dude. Whoops.

Which probably makes it all the worse. Like, do you hear yourself and what you're saying? He claimed that if we don't accept the male roles/female roles as presented in the Bible, then there's no way we can begin to accept everything else as the true Word of God! If your acceptance of the Bible is hinged on one single point that's been disputed and mistranslated for ages, you don't have a very strong faith in the Word.

Just because something is biblical doesn't mean it's Christlike!

[refugee]

5 hours ago, Meridae said:

Ironically the "lady" I was talking to was a dude. Whoops.

Which probably makes it all the worse. Like, do you hear yourself and what you're saying? He claimed that if we don't accept the male roles/female roles as presented in the Bible, then there's no way we can begin to accept everything else as the true Word of God! If your acceptance of the Bible is hinged on one single point that's been disputed and mistranslated for ages, you don't have a very strong faith in the Word.

Just because something is biblical doesn't mean it's Christlike!

That seems to be a growing trend. Whoever is pushing second-class citizenship for women  complementarianism (I know some of the culprits, at least, but it seems to be a growing trend) is trying to hook it to salvation. They're saying that complementarian marriage is a picture of the gospel (and by extension, without the gospel, there is no salvation, or...?). They say that complementarian *is* the biblical model for marriage.

Some have even said that if you deny complementarianism, you're denying the bible and salvation and the gospel and all that.

It reminds me of Ken Ham making belief in six-day creationism necessary for salvation.

[Meridae]

2 minutes ago, refugee said:

That seems to be a growing trend. Whoever is pushing second-class citizenship for women  complementarianism (I know some of the culprits, at least, but it seems to be a growing trend) is trying to hook it to salvation. They're saying that complementarian marriage is a picture of the gospel (and by extension, without the gospel, there is no salvation, or...?). They say that complementarian *is* the biblical model for marriage.

Some have even said that if you deny complementarianism, you're denying the bible and salvation and the gospel and all that.

It reminds me of Ken Ham making belief in six-day creationism necessary for salvation.

I explained the dangers of submission culture to him and his fiancée (who he called in for help) and gave them links to No Longer Quivering and Recovering Grace, as well as a link about the true meaning of Paul's writings and a study on how male headship enables abusers. They did thank me for the information and said they'd read it, which I hope they do, if not to change their minds then to at least open a conversation about what exactly can go wrong and how they'll handle it.

[AlwaysDiscerning]

After Anna pleaded with Dragonfly to give it up and leave her alone, Dragonfly can't resists a few last punches. 

Quote

 

Dragonfly

MAY 2, 2016 AT 12:20 PM

Anna, explaining to you how I viewed your behavior and comments toward the men on this blog is not “blowing up at you,” or “attacking you,” its simply explaining why I ignored your comment about your past pain. If you didn’t want to know why, then you probably shouldn’t have asked (hint: I ignored your comment because discussing your past pain would have brought all those issues up and offended you more than likely). Its sad that you can’t learn anything from what I said in order to see how you comparing your history and pain to theirs, wanting them to be better right now for your sister’s benefit, and expecting them to be healed already is actually self-righteous and ugly behavior. Calling it self-righteous and ugly isn’t meant to attack you, or “blow up” at you, it is just a description of how I see your character in these comments. If it offends you, maybe you should consider working on it a little? Instead of harping on these men changing, why don’t you work on changing your approach to them to be more sympathetic and kind?

 

IOW, its sad that Anna is too stupid to learn from such a godly woman as herself. Like Lori, they hate the ones they can't convince, .the dread unteachables, the drudges of society. 

Also it was funny how the owner of that blog tries to play peacemaker between the two, attempting to better explain dragonfly and her response to him is that he "almost" explained it better than her. LOL, that is one full of herself woman. 

Oh and don't diss the poor men! If they were really offended by what Anna said, can't they speak up for themselves? LOL, nope silly thought...manosphere men are weak boys who need women to defend them. 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

From Dragonfly's blog she says this today:

 "I remember one of my sweet, older male managers told me one day how wonderful my attitude was toward this mundane and humiliating work – he said that he knew that most girls in this area would rather die than do the work I was doing here.  He had such an amazing past of which he would tell me interesting stories of life in old America, and of his wife, who was a virtuous woman.  I’ll never forget the greatest compliment I think I’ve ever had from a manager, that my future husband would be “so lucky to have me that he’d kiss the ground I’d walk on!”  I didn’t completely understand what he meant by that at that time (I was only 18), but now I understand that he was talking about a certain attitude that a future wife has that will bless her husband immensely.  He was talking about the value I would someday have for my future husband if I continued learning and practicing virtue!"

This is so much like the godly woman quote Booky shared here

https://signpostsstrangeland.wordpress.com/2016/03/26/her-doctrine-is-her-glory/

Another former boss story no less. Do they get these out of some godly woman playbook?. Its what makes them all seem so cheap and robotic. They all parrot the same things, the same self inflated stories. Always boasting and bragging about themselves!! I truly can't get over it. 

[Florita]

8 hours ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

From Dragonfly's blog she says this today:

 "I remember one of my sweet, older male managers told me one day how wonderful my attitude was toward this mundane and humiliating work – he said that he knew that most girls in this area would rather die than do the work I was doing here.  He had such an amazing past of which he would tell me interesting stories of life in old America, and of his wife, who was a virtuous woman.  I’ll never forget the greatest compliment I think I’ve ever had from a manager, that my future husband would be “so lucky to have me that he’d kiss the ground I’d walk on!”  I didn’t completely understand what he meant by that at that time (I was only 18), but now I understand that he was talking about a certain attitude that a future wife has that will bless her husband immensely.  He was talking about the value I would someday have for my future husband if I continued learning and practicing virtue!"

Note that the job she's crowing about was at BURGER KING when she was a teenager. <insert slow clap emoji here>

Not that there is anything wrong with working at BK, I worked there as a teen also, but it fell off the bottom of my resume decades ago.

8 hours ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

This is so much like the godly woman quote Booky shared here

https://signpostsstrangeland.wordpress.com/2016/03/26/her-doctrine-is-her-glory/

Booky was quoting thejoyfilledwife's comment on Lori's blog. Yes, TJFW and dragonfly have a lot of similarities including being exceptionally pleased with their own virtues.

Insanitybytes commented on dragonfly today (https://insanitybytes2.wordpress.com/2016/05/02/when-virtue-is-not-virtue/).

Quote

...there are many teachings about the Proverbs 31 wife that concern me, and all in good humor a couple of Proverbs 31 wife bloggers who are so oozing goodness and virtue, they are practically hissing and spitting their goodness all over me and a few others too. It’s actually rather comical to watch women hissing so much “virtue” at their sisters.

Good imagery there! 

[Florita]

And this too - from Dragonfly today:

Quote

I can’t believe we’re on week 3 of studying the character of the virtuous woman!  The time has flown by, and I hope God is showing you as much wonderful insight as He’s been consistently showing me regarding my purpose and character.

 Her insight is straight from God. How dare we question.

[AlwaysDiscerning]

I guess it was God's insight to say the nasty things she did to Anna too. 

Insanitybytes is funny!

She also mentioned leading up to her Burger King job that she grew up in an affluent neighborhood, didn't have to work but her parents made her. Like Lori, had to get in the affluent part! Because I am virtuous, I humbled myself and worked at Burger King, none of the other girls would do that!

So her future husband would kiss the ground she walks on huh.....hmmm now she calls women mentally ill and menopausal....such virtue...any husband would be pleased. 

[docmom]

Any god who uses Lori and Dragonfly as his mouthpieces isn't worth worshipping, IMHO.