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Homophobic? Maybe You're Gay


FloraDoraDolly

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This article is just tons of win. I only wish that the NY Times allowed comments (if they do, I don't see any) to see (the anti-BGLT and religious people who believe marriage is a "sacrament" not a contract) these people's reactions.

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Personally, I think the more anti- GLBT stuff spouted from from anyone is a way of denying how one really feels about their own sexuality. I'm not saying that's always the case, because I know a lot of people who are disgusted & repelled by GLBT people but yet have normal heterosexual relationships. That's just a vibe I get from some people.

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A very conservative, well-educated but not religious friend had a similar theory. He figured that the 'gay is a choice' crowd must be bisexual. If you are on the 'very straight' or 'very gay' end of the spectrum, it is hard to imagine choosing to go the other way. However, if you are more in the middle of the spectrum, then it is easy to insist, believe, then blather on about how folks can choose their sexual preferences.

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A very conservative, well-educated but not religious friend had a similar theory. He figured that the 'gay is a choice' crowd must be bisexual. If you are on the 'very straight' or 'very gay' end of the spectrum, it is hard to imagine choosing to go the other way. However, if you are more in the middle of the spectrum, then it is easy to insist, believe, then blather on about how folks can choose their sexual preferences.

That's how I see it as well. I also think these people need a lot of social or religious restraints to keep them from "choosing" gay, which is why they panic over marriage equality, anti-bullying laws, hate crime laws, etc. They're afraid of what THEY might do, not of what some unknown gay people in Peoria or Greenville or Seattle might do.

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While I don't doubt it does occur, I think it downplays ALL vocal homophobes to "self loathing closet cases" when it's only a subset. It's dangerous to make that a common assumption, when a lot of it is still narrow minded, religious, (straight), conservatives.

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This article is just tons of win. I only wish that the NY Times allowed comments (if they do, I don't see any) to see (the anti-BGLT and religious people who believe marriage is a "sacrament" not a contract) these people's reactions.

It does, but not on every single article and they have to be approved first. I'm not sure what the criteria is for approval, but the comments are less likely to look as though they've been typed by drunken monkeys than elsewhere on the internet.

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I think a lot of the homophobes are just scared because they don't understand and it scares them. They are also afraid it is infectious.

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While I don't doubt it does occur, I think it downplays ALL vocal homophobes to "self loathing closet cases" when it's only a subset. It's dangerous to make that a common assumption, when a lot of it is still narrow minded, religious, (straight), conservatives.

You may have a point but it seems to be an active, often influential, very vocal, highly motivated subset. I'll admit that when I hear some religious conservative going on about the "evil" gays I just go ahead and assume he's gay. I'm currently waiting for Mars Hill guy (can't think of name) to come flying out in some scandal.

Plus I think it's very important that people understand this dynamic. Its a tool that can help them process the anti-gay rhetoric.

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I think there's enough evidence to support this theory for some vocal homophobes who probably resent gay people who chose to live openly while the homophobe chose to stay closeted and miserable. But there are plenty of straight homophobes who apout the rhetoric to get ahead politically or to get parishoners fired up.

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You may have a point but it seems to be an active, often influential, very vocal, highly motivated subset. I'll admit that when I hear some religious conservative going on about the "evil" gays I just go ahead and assume he's gay. I'm currently waiting for Mars Hill guy (can't think of name) to come flying out in some scandal.

Plus I think it's very important that people understand this dynamic. Its a tool that can help them process the anti-gay rhetoric.

But what if the Mars Hill guy is straight, and simply a bigot? This is the point that I was trying (and failing) to make. It becomes a common thing to say on political posts when ANYONE homophobic says something - "Countdown till they're caught in a bathroom". It makes into "our problem", and not something reflective of the fact that society as a whole is still fairly homophobic. That religion is the biggest source of homophobia in a gay person's day to day life. It erases people like Anita Bryant, and Maggie Gallagher who are campaign purely out of hate.

I highly doubt that every single person who has verbally assaulted either me or my friends is gay themselves. I doubt all of the kids bullying LGBT kids in high school are closet cases. Some, sure, but not all.

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A very conservative, well-educated but not religious friend had a similar theory. He figured that the 'gay is a choice' crowd must be bisexual. If you are on the 'very straight' or 'very gay' end of the spectrum, it is hard to imagine choosing to go the other way. However, if you are more in the middle of the spectrum, then it is easy to insist, believe, then blather on about how folks can choose their sexual preferences.

That is an onteresting way to think about it. There may be some truth in that. I am straight and it was not a big choice on my part, I just get sucked in by Testosterone on a regular basis. However, I can totally understand same sex attraction. So my place on the scale is not quite at polarity. My dear friend who is gay says that she cannot even 'go there' in her thoughts. Male genitalia simply repulse her and testosterone is even worse.

Perhaps there are some folks in the mid-spectrum who are happy to be able to love and be loved by whomever works for them and then others in that spectrum who require some sort of rules about it.

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I think a lot of the homophobes are just scared because they don't understand and it scares them. They are also afraid it is infectious.

I think this is very true. I have had discussions with some folks who are clearly heterosexual and they truly believe it is a choice, the same way I choose to drink coffee or wear jeans. Some also really believe that gay people DO try and entice others into joining "the gay lifestyle." I don't think they actually believe the infectious part, but they just know that gays must get others to live the same way since that is how they can increase their numbers.

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