The life of a fundy girl: waiting, waiting and more waiting

[Daenerys]

Mikaela at One Bright Corner has a new post up, which reading between the lines is about how fed up she is being stuck at home, waiting for a man to come and sweep her off her feet and make her into the lauded 'Wife and Mother' that she has been taught is her only ambition in life.

onebrightcorner.blogspot.co.uk/2012/04/waiting-room-part-i.html

Have you ever asked God, “Why did you give me this vision—this desire that burns so greatly in my heart—only to leave it unfulfilled?†There are times in my life where I begin to think my hopes and dreams are just a mirage. Perhaps I was mistaken when I believed God anointed me for a very special task. Was I tuned in to the wrong station when I heard Him so clearly point me to marriage and motherhood? This isn't just an issue of marriage, though: college, discipling, and teaching music have all been points of desire and doubt in my life as well.

Let me know if this sounds familiar. A man or woman of God, your parents, a trusted friend, or the Spirit of God calls to you a vision for the future. Through prayer, Scripture reading, and further counsel, you realize that this call comes from the Holy Spirit Himself, and with great delight and joy, you now prepare for this exciting new piece of the jigsaw puzzle of life to be clicked into place.

But then, whether your business is floundering, or your ministry idea isn’t even past the paper-planning stage, or there are no eligible guys for miles around, you find yourself waiting. Patiently. Impatiently. Contentedly. Discontentedly. Joyfully. Morosely. Waiting.

I don't know whether to pity or laugh at a reasonably well-educated woman of 21 who, despite having an income of her own as a music teacher, 'chooses' to sit at home under her father's authority and wait for a man to arrive. It is so strange and ridiculous that I find it endlessly compelling to wonder why on earth these girls 'make' the choice that they do when they have far more recourse than most ATI/VF daughters to leave and make it alone.

She ends with this, to which I am sorely tempted to post something 'controversial' to them like an unwanted pregnancy, homosexual desires, infertility... any other FJers tempted to do the same?

If you are willing, please share the calling you are wrestling with now; I will gladly pray for you, and I know that we can encourage each other in steadfastness to our calling.

[MamaJunebug]

I'm inclined to share my current "calling," which is to speak against the very things her family stand for, ie, the hijacking of Christ out of Christianity. In fact I might just post. It will never see the light of day - or see it only briefly - but at least she would've read it... Thanks for the heads-up, Daenerys!

[Swamptribe]

What ever happened to the idea that god helps those who help themselves?

[fundifugee]

Growing up, my church was full of losers like this. "Waiting for God" who "called them to marriage and motherhood". Even when I was 14 and still drinking the kool-aid I knew that there was no way in hell I was going to be that kind of desperate slob and began to actively boycott the "youth group" which, if you aged out and were still not married, became the "singles group" that was packed with about 75% desperate women and 25% creepy men. It was acceptable for men to look outside the church to find a wife since she'd end up submitting, but not ok for a woman to look elsewhere for a man.

[Daenerys]

I'm inclined to share my current "calling," which is to speak against the very things her family stand for, ie, the hijacking of Christ out of Christianity. In fact I might just post. It will never see the light of day - or see it only briefly - but at least she would've read it... Thanks for the heads-up, Daenerys!

Assuming you are 'Kath', glad that you did post! I do love the way that they do seem to publish every comment and have the decency to reply. I can see why she doesn't think she is isolated because she does have a social life, and yet she has never properly stepped out of the bubble of Conservative Christianity. Although she teaches, it is mostly in a church and it doesn't seem she has met people who are happily doing the things that she rejects, such as 'living in sin', going to college, having a career as a woman or living a 'homosexual lifestyle'. Consequently, her view of the world is incredibly skewed as to her, it is normal to go everywhere with her sister or mother, to live with her parents into adulthood and to see her primary future goal as marriage and motherhood.

What strikes me, however, is how much they unintentionally avoid men who might be eligible. As they have no brothers of a similar age, they aren't naturally exposed to a male crowd from whom they might find someone they liked. Working with children, helping at church and almost everything else they do are extremely 'effeminate' activities, either meaning there are no males there or it becomes very segregated. Since they have no older sisters and are first-generation fundies, there is no path for them to follow in order to find a man. I really see them becoming old maids if they stay.

Their situation made me instantly think of this poem:

I envy not in any moods

The captive void of noble rage,

The linnet born within the cage,

That never knew the summer woods;

In envy not the beast that takes

His license in the field of time,

Unfetter'd by the sense of crime,

To whom a conscience never wakes;

Nor, what may count itself as blest,

The heart that never plighted troth

But stagnates in the weeds of sloth:

Nor any want-begotten rest.

I hold it true, whate'er befall;

I feel it, when I sorrow most;

'T is better to have loved and lost

than never to have loved at all.

[Anise]

Wait, she's twenty-one? I would have thought that she's thirty- just how long has she been waiting?

[Daenerys]

Wait, she's twenty-one? I would have thought that she's thirty- just how long has she been waiting?

Presumably since she 'graduated' from homeschool at age 17. The boredom is probably a reflection of just how dull and monotonous her life actually is, although she is akin to a bird in a gilded cage who doesn't know what it is to fly free.

[reds]

do they ever consider online dating? Like christian singles dot com?

I think their slogan is that "while you are waiting for god to make the first move, he thinks it is time for you to help yourself."

I was a brat just after my sister left her husband and signed her up for Catholic singles dot com. She is still receiving emails from them 8 years later. :dance:

[Koala]

apparently 21 in fundie years is something akin to 21 in dog years :roll:

[fundiefan]

Waiting for your god is merely wasting the life he gave you.