December Corner Time!

[allyisyourpally5]

Teri's sucking the fun out of Christmas:

 

Our family chooses to celebrate Christmas because it focuses on the magnificent miracle of the birth of our Savior. Plus it is one of two holidays in which even the world expects Christians to participate.

 

Since when did they do what the World tells them? and why do they care about the world anyway?

 

We didn't want our children believing in Santa Claus only to find out later it was a lie. Some would say it is all in fun, but the reality is that it is deceitful.

 

Shame on all you Santa parents out there. I personally was not too upset that Santa wasn't real and really appreciate the fun of it.

 

Even though Santa Claus was no longer a part of this aspect of our Christmas, a couple of years later we simply wanted to be free of any association with Santa Claus in our Christmas celebration, so we even set aside the stockings.

 

I guess little Bethany and Abby will never get the joy of waking up to find a stocking at the end of the bed.

 

We also decided to stop getting a Christmas tree. While we wouldn't say that Jeremiah 10:3-4 is talking about a Christmas tree directly, there are many similarities that are too powerful to ignore. In addition, I know I sometimes sat and admired the beautiful Christmas tree rather than worshiping my worthy Savior. "For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe. They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not" (Jeremiah 10:3-4).

 

 

I take it the Christmas tree has become an idol? or do they really just need to learn to chill the hell out? I have very fond memories (and still enjoy the occasion now) of decorating the tree and house as a family. It's a few weeks of a year, does it really matter?

 

As a family, we like to participate in a shoe box outreach where we purchase small toys and personal items to be placed inside a shoe box and given to a needy child in a third world country. We began doing this when a national ministry started a shoe box Christmas program. In more recent years, two missionaries to Mexico whom we support, have begun their own small-scale shoe box ministry. They collect the shoe boxes and then personally distribute them to children in their towns. That has made the shoe box shopping and giving even more special to our family because we have been able to see photos of our gifts being given to children.

 

Now I actually credit them here because I do this also and spend considerable time doing so.

 

It is our heart's desire that all of our neighbors would come to a saving knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ. "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life" (John 3:16).

 

Aside from the awful singing., it is nice of them to take something like the bread or cookies to peoples homes. But I really dislike the assumption that no-one around them is "saved"

 

We have made a tradition of planning an evening near Christmas to take the family out to eat and then to drive around looking at Christmas lights.

 

Is this not slightly contradictive? No decorations in the home because they are the wrong focus, but let's go and admire everyone elses? (and let them pay the electricity bill for that matter)

 

Opening our presents and having our Christmas meal on Christmas Eve now allows us time to go to the nursing home on Christmas Day.

 

Happy Christmas Elderly, a day of Maxwell torture

 

May I suggest that you evaluate with your husband what is important for your family during the Christmas season and make sure that your time is invested in those priorities. Be sure Christmas is purposefully utilized to draw your children's hearts to Jesus Christ and to serving Him.

 

God forbid you think about this alone.

 

Onto Steves gem of a corner:

 

Here is the email it is based on (from a reader)

My husband and I attended a recent conference of yours. We were so blessed by it. We wanted to say thank you. My husband decided after listening to Manager of His Home that our children were no longer going to go to youth group on Wednesday nights. He did this because we started noticing changes in our children.

 

Our children hadn't gone to youth group for six weeks when the pastor came by and asked us why our children weren't attending. My husband told him that a big part of it was the secular rock and roll they were playing. Our children were coming home humming it. We were told that they believe if your children are firmly grounded in Christ it will not affect them. I couldn't help but think about our twenty-one-year-old daughter who wound up getting into secular music due to a youth group and her dad and me not having her heart. We didn't want that for our other children.

 

Bit of self praising first, gotta keep that in! So the Maxwells are really sucking the fun out of all kids lives. What is wrong with humming music?

 

Praise the Lord for this dad taking action to protect his children. Ephesians 6:4 tells us, "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." Dad is the one God holds responsible for discipling the children,

 

does it actually say in the bible that Dads will be held up by God to talk about how they disciplined? Does mum just slip straight through to Heaven?

 

I have met many youth group leaders and pastors over the years, and I have heard them share their deep love and concern for the youth to which they minister. Amen. Generally, they have a sincere desire to reach the kids who aren't living in a home where they are being discipled. Please don't feel this Dad's Corner is a personal criticism of youth group leaders. It isn't. Instead this Corner addresses flaws in the youth group in regard to our readers who are dads who are discipling their children as the Lord leads.

 

So....really it is taking a dig at the youth groups and saying what the Leaders do (so many do such a wonderful job, I looked up to many of my leader across youth group and other clubs as well as my parents)is not according to what God wants

 

Dad is the one God gives the responsibility to disciple the children, and Dad is the one who will answer to God.

 

Can't take control from Daddy

 

Considering there will be multiple children in the group, how likely is it that the discipling in the group is consistent with all the fathers' direction since seldom will each family be truly like-minded.

 

Can you imagine a room full of youth with all their fathers basically being "Steves"? it would be a very silent room

 

Let's consider the statement: "If your children are firmly grounded in Christ, then it will not affect them." When is a person firmly grounded in Christ, and even if they are, does that mean they won't be tempted toward evil? Sadly, we have talked to many parents who trusted that their children were spiritually mature enough to stay the course only for the parents to be heartbroken later.

 

I wonder how old these children were? Or if they did actually completely loose faith or simply just not live exactly as the Maxwells teach? The girl mentioned in the readers email is 21 -perfectly old enough to make her own mind up about anything. These parents are downright awful

 

There is also tremendous internal pressure by most children to be accepted by the peers in the group. I've heard some say that one of the greatest pressures a person can feel is the need to be accepted. Therefore, peer groups likely exert some of the greatest pressure to conform that any of us will ever experience. Let me share an example with you. Years ago we were in a fairly conservative church. Despite the conservative nature of the church, many of the girls were pushing the limits in their "dress" and definitely lacking modesty standards. Our daughter, who was then eighteen, confided to us that she was feeling turmoil inside because she wanted to fit in with the other girls but didn't want to do what they were doing. That peer pressure was experienced just by causal associations with the girls at church. Consider the peer pressure that comes from even more involvement in the peer group. Do we really think our children will be stronger than that?

 

This probably answers a question - Sarah wanted to fit in. over a decade later she is still at home. Never ever mention you want to join in with anything more than 5 meters from Steve or you will be doomed forever.

 

Sorry this is long, the corners got me this month!

[gustava]

Wonder if Sarah really said that or if it's something Stevo would have wanted her to say?

[synchroswimr]

We have made a tradition of planning an evening near Christmas to take the family out to eat and then to drive around looking at Christmas lights.

Is this not slightly contradictive? No decorations in the home because they are the wrong focus, but let's go and admire everyone elses? (and let them pay the electricity bill for that matter)

Not only contradictory, but ... What are they going to do when all their neighbors are "Maxwell-Saved?"

[Koala]

I'm betting that since Steve "has her heart", he was able to "discern" that that's what she was thinking. In reality she probably wanted to wear a nice skirt to church in stead of matching frumpers with her mother and her sisters. Viola...goodbye church, hello nursing home.

[MissBitters]

I feel the most sorry for Sarah Maxwell out of the fundy daughters we follow on this board. I think it's because we're about the same age and I can't help comparing our lives. I'm not saying I've had a lot of adventures but I've always had freedom. I went to college, read all kinds of awesome books, chose my own clothes, lived on my own, made friends with people outside my family, have a good job...the list could on and on. I married a man of my own choosing this past summer. My dad respected my choice and didn't feel the need to interview him. He definitely didn't hand me over like a piece of property. I'm probably everything that Steve fears for his children yet I'm still close to my family. My parents and I have a good relationship and I'm incredibly close to my siblings. Dad didn't have to throw out the tv, dress me in frumpers, take away all the Christmas decorations or keep me tied to the home. He just trusted me to make my own decisions after teaching me to be a decent person. I truly wish Sarah would wake up and escape.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

About as heartwarming and inspiring as an IRS audit announcement......

[emmiedahl]

I am just a few years older than Sarah Maxwell and I have 5 children and a degree! And I feel like I waited too long to pursue graduate school, like I am way too old for this crap. Free Sarah! This is ridiculous.

[deelaem]

Doing the shoebox thing isn't all that altruistic. We did it one year, then we found out that the kids only get those boxes if they are participating in the missionary's indoctrination programs. It's like, "be a good little brown kid and say Jesus is your savior and you'll get a box of crayons". So much Christmas spirit. :roll:

[jlbturtle]

I have to come to the Maxwell's defense a bit (oh my gosh I can't believe those words came out of my mouth). I know they do decorate for Christmas just minus the tree. There are pictures from past years of some outdoor lights, and they have indoor decorations as well (just not the tree). I actually think it's an almost normal activity for them to go out and look at lights, when they will probably see inflateable santas and other items which aren't religious.

The Maxwell's are odd and Steve's post about sent me over the edge, but I will have to sort of come to their defense on the Christmas light decorations.

[Jessica]

Taking a few moments to admire a Christmas tree is taking time away from the Saviour. Okay. Then you guys shouldn't have gone to the Grand Canyon, on hikes in the mountains, kayaking, etc. Too much focus on nature! Tsk tsk. You can't look at a tree and consider that as worship? No, not worshiping the tree, but thinking, "WOW, God is so creative and talented to have made something to beautiful". Sad sad sad...

[synchroswimr]

I have to come to the Maxwell's defense a bit (oh my gosh I can't believe those words came out of my mouth). I know they do decorate for Christmas just minus the tree. There are pictures from past years of some outdoor lights, and they have indoor decorations as well (just not the tree). I actually think it's an almost normal activity for them to go out and look at lights, when they will probably see inflateable santas and other items which aren't religious.

The Maxwell's are odd and Steve's post about sent me over the edge, but I will have to sort of come to their defense on the Christmas light decorations.

I'm glad to hear that. :-)

[JesusFightClub]

Yeah, what deelaem said. I remember doing a shoebox as a kid and I was all excited about it . One day looking on the internet I found out some charities opened up the box and put in a tract. Some made the kids say the prayer. Some made a point that Muslim poor kids got them so as to try and convert them "look how kind Christians are!" Some made a point Muslim poor kids didn't get them "look at all the good things you would have got, if you were Christian!"

Last year shoebox drive at my work was for a...Muslim country. How does that even compute?

I will not participate in shoebox drive nor poppy drive. Bollocks to evangelising kids in other countries, I'm not having my means justify fundie ends.

*jumps off rant box*

[gardenvarietycitizen]

I have to come to the Maxwell's defense a bit (oh my gosh I can't believe those words came out of my mouth). I know they do decorate for Christmas just minus the tree. There are pictures from past years of some outdoor lights, and they have indoor decorations as well (just not the tree). I actually think it's an almost normal activity for them to go out and look at lights, when they will probably see inflateable santas and other items which aren't religious.

The Maxwell's are odd and Steve's post about sent me over the edge, but I will have to sort of come to their defense on the Christmas light decorations.

I hear ya. I actually think the Nativity decorations they do are a nice thing (I know some more mainstream Christian families that do the same thing, in addition to having a small tree). In fact, their Xmas night celebration quite frankly sounds pretty similar to Catholic midnight Mass I've attended with friends, when it comes to having the special readings of the "Xmas story" parts of the Bible in the usual place they have Bible readings at a normal Mass, a charity-minded homily, and associated religious carols, complete with a big Nativity scene at the front of the church even.

Some observations though - (1) Teri has written essentially this same Corner in other years. (2) Heathen than I am, the one Bible verse I know by number is John 3:16. Why? That's the one fundies always hold up at protests or print on pickets when they're trying to convert people! (3) I suspect the "missionaries to Mexico" are the family that the the Klein family (the family that is friends with the K!!!1!!1!!!!1! family of St. Louis, and pushes the "homeschooling with the Bible" program, one of their daughters does the illustrations for the Moody books) associates with. That family talks of their missionary friends in Mexico and has frequent associations, also that family wrote the "Education for Kings" pamphlet originally in Spanish. (4) It surprises me that Teri seems to think that kids getting the most pleasure in giving the "perfect gift" for a friend or relative and seeing their happiness is the most fun part of a gift holiday - plenty of secular people, myself included, feel similarly. In fact, that's most of the fun of "Santa" for people who are over the age of 7 and in on the game.

Also you can have lights without a tree. I love those little Xmas lights just for the happy brightness that they are, I will admit here that I have a tangled string of tiny lights, just like that out of the box, on my desk around my computer and I am quite enjoying them right now, with a coffee and some peppermint candy. :dance:

But yeah... their Xmas, so far described, doesn't sound all that terrible. Hopefully they're not restricted to only 2 gingerbread men.

STEVE's letter, on the other hand... where to start? It's got the "well, those services are good for kids at risk, but OUR kids are above that level, so while we support those programs for those kids we wouldn't think of sending our kids there" thing going on (a legitimate feeling I guess, but wow, so many of the self-proclaimed "pious" types from various traditions like to write that same thing) and then... what of the poor, poor 21 y.o. daughter of the letter writer? Oh, no, she's gone off, whatever shall we do?

...but I can't help but thinking, wow, good for her, she escaped! She might actually have a chance to live out in the non-head-in-sand world and get a real education. Surely her parents are terrified she'll negatively influence her sisters though.

Something that did bug me about Teri's letter though - again, she just refers to all of her offspring as "the children." There's no differentiation at all. I can kinda get that she's being nostalgic and probably halfway thinking about younger years when writing the thing, but... the constant lumping of all the children together, from Sarah right on down to ABBY, is just... lolwut? Are Teri and Steve still all about "monitoring her heart" to make sure she's not secretly desiring too much?

...don't answer that. Sigh.

[gardenvarietycitizen]

Yeah, what deelaem said. I remember doing a shoebox as a kid and I was all excited about it . One day looking on the internet I found out some charities opened up the box and put in a tract. Some made the kids say the prayer. Some made a point that Muslim poor kids got them so as to try and convert them "look how kind Christians are!" Some made a point Muslim poor kids didn't get them "look at all the good things you would have got, if you were Christian!"

Last year shoebox drive at my work was for a...Muslim country. How does that even compute?

I will not participate in shoebox drive nor poppy drive. Bollocks to evangelising kids in other countries, I'm not having my means justify fundie ends.

*jumps off rant box*

*climbs on*

Something else maybe not quite on topic that always bugs me about these sorts[1] of "charities giving gifts to kids" or the (my real beef, maybe) "soldiers giving treats to kids" is that they don't always consider the effect it has on the PARENTS or adults of the community who probably want to "keep their childrens' hearts" every bit as much as Steve does, but see their kids getting expensive gifts from outsiders with a string attached, be it in the form of religion or just a "see, we really know what's best, from way over here, all the old ways are not good". Feelings about that can be complex, and make people feel inadequate toward their own kids which can bring another type of anger, as you can find in all sorts of wartime/post wartime/occupation time literature. I can't help but wonder how the current version is doing, and sort of boggle my mind at news reports that NEVER seem to consider that angle or wonder why people aren't always uniformly happy about it or occasionally refuse the gifts or chocolate bars or whatever the heck it is. How can the givers be THAT naive??

*climbs back off*

[1] To be fair, I don't know the specifics of what this exact program is doing, but just thinking about so many I've read about...

[gardenvarietycitizen]

What is wrong with humming music?

Lest you forget, Steve is the guy who will WHITE OUT THE WORDS to any secular songs that happen to be in his kids' banjo textbooks, so that they won't (God forbid) have secular information taking up space in their brains. I kid you not.

He'd prefer to nix the tunes too, no doubt, but at some point every beginning musician has to learn "Row Row Your Boat," regardless of the text you use.

[FundiesInMyFamily]

I know I sometimes sat and admired the beautiful Christmas tree rather than worshiping my worthy Savior

Yes, because Terri needs all the time she can get to talk to her lord, and god forbid she take 5 minutes of "me" time to sit and relax next to her tree.

[snarkbillie]

*climbs on*

Something else maybe not quite on topic that always bugs me about these sorts[1] of "charities giving gifts to kids" or the (my real beef, maybe) "soldiers giving treats to kids" is that they don't always consider the effect it has on the PARENTS or adults of the community who probably want to "keep their childrens' hearts" every bit as much as Steve does, but see their kids getting expensive gifts from outsiders with a string attached, be it in the form of religion or just a "see, we really know what's best, from way over here, all the old ways are not good". Feelings about that can be complex, and make people feel inadequate toward their own kids which can bring another type of anger, as you can find in all sorts of wartime/post wartime/occupation time literature. I can't help but wonder how the current version is doing, and sort of boggle my mind at news reports that NEVER seem to consider that angle or wonder why people aren't always uniformly happy about it or occasionally refuse the gifts or chocolate bars or whatever the heck it is. How can the givers be THAT naive??

*climbs back off*

[1] To be fair, I don't know the specifics of what this exact program is doing, but just thinking about so many I've read about...

My church does a shoebox ministry and we gather up presents for kids and put them in little boxes and a group from my church takes them to a school/orphanage in Haiti. Our group is there 2-3 times a year helping build things for the kids (bathrooms, play grounds, school rooms, tables, and other furniture, etc.) and on Christmas break they go down and pass out the shoeboxes. While I understand the feeling that these are gifts with "strings attached" these kids are very happy to have a place to live, food to eat, books to read and crayons to color with. I do realize that it's probably not fair to these kids that they would be homeless and dying without my church's financial support and gifts of books, clothes and crayons.....I'm not sure we're the "bad guys" in this scenario.

[Spartan89]

My church does a shoebox ministry and we gather up presents for kids and put them in little boxes and a group from my church takes them to a school/orphanage in Haiti. Our group is there 2-3 times a year helping build things for the kids (bathrooms, play grounds, school rooms, tables, and other furniture, etc.) and on Christmas break they go down and pass out the shoeboxes. While I understand the feeling that these are gifts with "strings attached" these kids are very happy to have a place to live, food to eat, books to read and crayons to color with. I do realize that it's probably not fair to these kids that they would be homeless and dying without my church's financial support and gifts of books, clothes and crayons.....I'm not sure we're the "bad guys" in this scenario.

[fundiefan]

After putting up my tree & decorations, with a clean house, stocked fridge and laundry done, I was pretty damn tired, but content. After a hot shower, I wrapped myself up in a blanket and sat on the sofa with all but the Christmas lights on and a few candles and just...stared at the tree for a good 30 minutes. I ended up entirely lost in my thoughts, and that's not a good thing, so I got up, turned on other lights and started reading.

But, a week and a few days later and god has yet to smite me for staring at the tree instead of focusing on him. Then again, I've lived most of my adult life without focusing on any god and none has punished me yet. I guess that's what death is for. Or, not.

As for charities, I'm far too poor this year and am barely paying my bills, so I cannot contribute. In the past, however, I've done my best to contribute all year, not just during the holidays (ooops, Christmas because Thanksgiving doesn't count or New Years or any other December/winter celebration). When I am on my feet again, I intend to do the same. At any rate, contributing to charities has never been intended to be done in place of having your own celebrations, it adds to the holiday (er, Christmas) spirit and enhances it. It's not one or the other. Unless you're a Maxwell, I guess.

[gardenvarietycitizen]

I don't mean to imply that all religious charities have a problem. But the ones that have an emphasis on evangelizing, particularly IF the kids they're evangelizing to are not even of the same religion (so that the idea is to convert them), then yes, I suppose it bothers me some. I mean, if you're religious, imagine if people from another religion which directly conflicts with your beliefs try to evangelize to your kids by giving them gifts which you can't afford to give them? JesusFightClub's post just reminded me of that sort of situation, is all. (I suspect the Maxwell case is far less of an issue, as likely their audience is already at least nominally Christian.)

I will say I have not had good experiences with missionaries. Charities that just happen to be run through churches because sincere religious people (of all sorts) are frequently compassionate, are a different thing. Apologies if I went for too large of a brush.

[YPestis]

The Maxwells' Christmas actually sounds fun. I was surprised by the size of the loaf of cinnamon bread (or whatever) they give out while caroling. All I can think was, why can't I get neighbors that do that LOL? I'm glad the Maxwells are teaching their kids to enjoy giving during the holidays. Still, that doesn't change the fact the rest of the 364 days, they led incredibly dull lives.

[Spartan89]

I don't mean to imply that all religious charities have a problem. But the ones that have an emphasis on evangelizing, particularly IF the kids they're evangelizing to are not even of the same religion (so that the idea is to convert them), then yes, I suppose it bothers me some. I mean, if you're religious, imagine if people from another religion which directly conflicts with your beliefs try to evangelize to your kids by giving them gifts which you can't afford to give them? JesusFightClub's post just reminded me of that sort of situation, is all. (I suspect the Maxwell case is far less of an issue, as likely their audience is already at least nominally Christian.)

I will say I have not had good experiences with missionaries. Charities that just happen to be run through churches because sincere religious people (of all sorts) are frequently compassionate, are a different thing. Apologies if I went for too large of a brush.

I definitely get where you're coming from. And it bothers me a bit too, especially if, like you said, the kids are a different religion.

My opinion is that it's better than nothing at all, though. Making the kid say a prayer is not an ideal situation, but I think it's better than the churches not helping at all.There's definitely no excess of charities!

And to clarify, I'm thinking more of giving gifts that children really need, like clothes and food. I do think it's kind of shitty to "convert" a child in exchange for a box of Crayolas.

[JesusFightClub]

Basically what gardenvarietycitizen said. Some people who do shoeboxes are compassionate types who want to help and just happen to be religious. Problem is, a deal of them are not. I don't know which is which but I have strong suspicions of anyone asking for "Christmas gifts" for Muslim kids.

As for "easier in your own neighbourhood" it's physically but not psychologically easier. The shoebox thing can give one a lovely warm feeling and people imagine the recipient as adorable child filled with gratitude. They're detached. Whereas in neighbourhoods you have to meet people and they might be smelly, surly, distinctly less than grateful, reject your offer...more human, less idealised.

There's also a stigma to helping some groups. What about a family on welfare? Or I recently got an appeal to help asylum seekers over Christmas because a lot of services are limited and they might be new arrivals, no where to stay. I mentioned it to a co-worker "Now this is a good idea." Double take, why help those immigrants, scroungers? *sigh*

Gardenvarietycitizen's point about the damage the unwary or actively proselytising can do is also a good one. For "just a prayer to get food and clothes, after all" imagine if a bomb hit in US and a Muslim group came to help that area, but before they gave out the supplies you had to say the shahadah? I doubt fundies would get behind that one. People should help because it's right, not because here be heathens and we can convert them with bribes.

[tehgoobster]

Wonder if Sarah really said that or if it's something Stevo would have wanted her to say?

No, I definitely think it's possible that Sarah wanted to fit in with other girls her age. This is what Teri wrote on their Preparing Daughters website:

She is out of vogue with some of the girls in our church. Quite often this is a topic of conversation between she and I that she will bring up after church.

Since Sarah brought that up pretty frequently, it's possible that not fitting in may have bothered her to some extent. She seems like a friendly person who would have had lots of friends had she not been raised in a restrictive fundie family, so I can see why she'd have felt that way (if that's indeed how she felt).

Not only that, but Teri included this note, which she wrote to Sarah when Sarah was in her teens, in her January 2005 Corner:

Dear Sarah,

I want you to know despite some of the struggles we are having that I love you very much, and you are precious to me. I love to see your sensitivity to God’s Spirit and His working in your life. You are a tremendous physical help to Mom, and I am grateful for all you do to help. Learning to serve has eternal value – many things teenage girls do, do not. Ask the Lord for His desires for your time and life and you will not be disappointed. Love, Mom

This is just idle speculation here, but I wonder if that was written around the time that Sarah was wanting to fit in more with her peers. It would certainly explain the tension if Teri felt differently, and it may have been why Teri made the comment about other teenage girls.

At the end of the day, who knows with the Maxwells, though, right? :lol:

[Justme]

No, I definitely think it's possible that Sarah wanted to fit in with other girls her age. This is what Teri wrote on their Preparing Daughters website:

Since Sarah brought that up pretty frequently, it's possible that not fitting in may have bothered her to some extent. She seems like a friendly person who would have had lots of friends had she not been raised in a restrictive fundie family, so I can see why she'd have felt that way (if that's indeed how she felt).

Not only that, but Teri included this note, which she wrote to Sarah when Sarah was in her teens, in her January 2005 Corner:

This is just idle speculation here, but I wonder if that was written around the time that Sarah was wanting to fit in more with her peers. It would certainly explain the tension if Teri felt differently, and it may have been why Teri made the comment about other teenage girls.

At the end of the day, who knows with the Maxwells, though, right? :lol:

I'm reaching into my memory, but wouldn't this have been around the time when Teri was really struggling with her depression? The reversal kids would have been fairly young. I remember Teri once writing (in a corner?) about Sarah trying so hard to please her with chores, taking care of her siblings, etc., and she was nasty to her. She (Teri) was sorry she didn't appreaciate her efforts and treat her more kindly. Coming into young adulthood, having a "looney" Mom, and doing so much at home with no emotional support would be tough on any kid...