Lori Alexander 81: It's All the Fault of Women

[kpmom]

I call bullshit on the claim that a church will pay off the mortgage of someone in need. What church has that kind of money lying around?  
Maybe that Osteen guy, and he wouldn’t even allow people to sleep in his church when Texas lost power and people literally froze to death. 
 

And as far as helping widows and orphans, how long are we talking?  I mean what if a father dies when the kids are teenagers?  I could see helping the family short term get on their feet, but at some point the mom, and kids too for that matter, can look for a job. 
And if the kids are young?  Should it be the church’s job to financially raise the kids to adulthood?  I’d be pretty resentful if I went to a church like that. 

[lilwriter85]

2 hours ago, kpmom said:

I call bullshit on the claim that a church will pay off the mortgage of someone in need. What church has that kind of money lying around?  
Maybe that Osteen guy, and he wouldn’t even allow people to sleep in his church when Texas lost power and people literally froze to death. 
 

And as far as helping widows and orphans, how long are we talking?  I mean what if a father dies when the kids are teenagers?  I could see helping the family short term get on their feet, but at some point the mom, and kids too for that matter, can look for a job. 
And if the kids are young?  Should it be the church’s job to financially raise the kids to adulthood?  I’d be pretty resentful if I went to a church like that. 

I called bullshit on that claim when I read it a few years back on Lori's FB page. 

I also wonder about how long a church could supposedly help a family. Lori never went into detail about how long John MacArthur's church supposedly helps widows and orphans. If a woman is widowed with very young children, I can't see a church being able to support them for 10+ years or so until all the kids reach adulthood. 

I would also be resentful if I went to a church like that. I think it would be fine for churches to help families out on a short term basis, but not for years. 

Outside of churches, Lori has pushed the belief that families should take care of widows and their children. On her first blog, there was a fangirl who said that if her husband died--her family would support her and her kids. Years later on Facebook, some of her fangirls were posting similar things saying that if their husbands died they would turn to relatives for support.  They don't realize that kind of expectation would likely cause issues because some people might not be able to afford supporting other relatives for years.

I used to read the Herman Cain Award subreddit on reddit. It's a subreddit where they discuss anti-vaxxers who either got severe covid or passed from covid. Usually the people they discuss had posted anti-vax memes on Facebook and other social media sites and often times the families of people usually had gofundmes set up. There was one case where a woman's husband died of covid and she was hoping to raise enough money through fundraisers so she would only have to work part time because she didn't want to be away from her kids all that much. A part of me felt bad for her, but the other part of me viewed her as entitled. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

From today's Lazy Lori FB post we learn 3 things:

1. Women scream when they see snakes and need men to rescue them. Only feminists are able to deal with snakes on their own (this is bad, bad, very bad). Ergo this positively proves that women need men to protect them.

2. LoriKen have 2 cabins in Door County:  the one they are vacationing in and her "grandpa's cabin next door". This cabin is obviously rented out because the women screaming about snakes came from there.

3. In addition to Ken making bank from his consulting gig, LoriKen have rental income from the 2nd Door County cabin. I wonder if they have other rental property?

[Destiny]

2 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

1. Women scream when they see snakes and need men to rescue them. Only feminists are able to deal with snakes on their own (this is bad, bad, very bad). Ergo this positively proves that women need men to protect them.

TIL I'm not a feminist. LOL.

I don't do snakes or rodents and I'm not a big fan of spiders. I absolutely scream and run from these things and I'm not particularly sorry about that. Everyone has their "eek" things and these are mine. I'm still feminist as fuck though. Sorry Lori!

[louisa05]

My husband would not go get the snake out. He’s terrified of them. There was one in the shared back garage at the property where we rented once. He begged the neighbor to get it out of there. 
 

I guess he’s not a manly man and I am unprotected. Oh noes!!! 
 

 

[Foursquare]

Lori finished her little snake story with "Praise God for men!"  Has she ever--ever--said "Praise God for women"?

[HoneyBunny]

I’ve always said it’s the man’s job to kill the spiders and relocate the snakes. OTOH, I can do electrical work, simple plumbing and have been known to personally chop down several trees and install a French drain.  In other words, Lori, who could never do anything and spends her life searching for biblical aupport for her laziness, can go to hell. 

[SongRed7]

On 8/2/2022 at 9:40 AM, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Women scream when they see snakes and need men to rescue them. Only feminists are able to deal with snakes on their own (this is bad, bad, very bad). Ergo this positively proves that women need men to protect them.

2. LoriKen have 2 cabins in Door County:  the one they are vacationing in and her "grandpa's cabin next door". This cabin is obviously rented out because the women screaming about snakes came from there.

Update: Today she also show superiority and need for men to hold a window closed in 50 mph winds.

Re: Grandpa's cabin next door:  I assumed they used it as the "guest" house when their kids/family come to visit. In the "wind" scenario above, she references her son being there, so I assume their brood were next door. But you may be right. Perhaps is a rental now. 

Finally -- my huband WOULD NOT  (and neither would I) take the lead on ridding the house of a snake.  I'd probably just let him have it, furniture and all and we would just leave the keys on the counter and take off...lol

 

 

[Destiny]

27 minutes ago, SongRed7 said:

Finally -- my huband WOULD NOT  (and neither would I) take the lead on ridding the house of a snake.  I'd probably just let him have it, furniture and all and we would just leave the keys on the counter and take off...lol

This is the way.

[Alisamer]

59 minutes ago, SongRed7 said:

Update: Today she also show superiority and need for men to hold a window closed in 50 mph winds.

Re: Grandpa's cabin next door:  I assumed they used it as the "guest" house when their kids/family come to visit. In the "wind" scenario above, she references her son being there, so I assume their brood were next door. But you may be right. Perhaps is a rental now. 

Finally -- my huband WOULD NOT  (and neither would I) take the lead on ridding the house of a snake.  I'd probably just let him have it, furniture and all and we would just leave the keys on the counter and take off...lol

 

 

LOL for me it depends. Is it venomous? If so, have the house. I'm taking the cat and leaving. 

If it's a non venomous snake? If it's in the house it's got to go outside, somehow. Not sure how I'd make that happen but I'd have to find a way. I used to have a black snake living under my storage shed, and I was happy to have him. He assisted the local cats in keeping the rodent population down. As long as he stayed outside I was cool with him.

Pet snakes though I don't have a problem with. I used to work with a guy who would once in a while bring in his boa constrictor for educational talks and such, and got to hold it a few times. It was pretty cool! I think it was maybe 6 feet long or so.

[Celtic Roots]

Lori shows off her fine education once again as she talks about the issue with the double "pained" window. Lori, it may have caused pain to Ken and whichever son (Ryan or Steven) was there, but it is a double paned window. Don't be a twittering twit, my dear.

[SweetLaurel]

Yeah, my male was telling my brother the other day 'she's not afraid of snakes or spiders.  Tie her to a string, shove her off a boat with a kite over her head and she just giggles (parasailing).  Put her on a Ferris Wheel and she'si in tears"   We all have our things.   My brother hates spiders, snakes and parasailing.  Oh, and Ferris Wheels.  I don't think fear or things you are bothered by is dictated by penis or no penis.   I could go on and on about what my kids are afraid of and not - male and female.  As always, Lori just generalizes and makes no effort to support her 'arguments'.  "Take it up with God - He made you afraid of spiders!  And unable to flee a fire without male help!  Or work for a living   Not me!"    

 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Lori and the leghumpers have be on a FB tear lately about getting married, (young of course) and being a SAHM.

A lot of the comments go on and on about how when the leghumper worked and tried to keep house their lives were unending horrible debilitating anxiety, panic attacks, mental health issues, etc, etc, etc.  It was all just too too too much to bear so they had to quit work to save their sanity.

Disclaimer :  I've always worked, I don't have children, I keep house, cook, am crafty, etc..

I do not understand these women's debilitating metal issues about working and keeping a home.  I understanding working mothers have a much harder time than I do as a childless married woman.  I know there is stress trying to balance both parts of their lives, but honestly I've never known a working mom who had to quit work because she couldn't mentally handle both.

I know I'm privileged in that Mr Dress shares in keeping our home.  I know I have less stress because I'm not trying to balance work and children.  But.......

Am I just naive to think women can and do do both without the anxiety, panic attacks, mental health issues these women claim?  Am I cynical/ wrong to think these women are making this stuff up?

Because I haven't experienced this and don't know anyone who has I'm skeptical.

Please help me out FJ.  I really don't understand the leghumpers here.

[Absolutely no shade on anyone who has realized they cannot mentally handle doing both. It's just that I haven't seen this in my life.]

[Pammy]

17 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Lori and the leghumpers have be on a FB tear lately about getting married, (young of course) and being a SAHM.

A lot of the comments go on and on about how when the leghumper worked and tried to keep house their lives were unending horrible debilitating anxiety, panic attacks, mental health issues, etc, etc, etc.  It was all just too too too much to bear so they had to quit work to save their sanity.

Disclaimer :  I've always worked, I don't have children, I keep house, cook, am crafty, etc..

I do not understand these women's debilitating metal issues about working and keeping a home.  I understanding working mothers have a much harder time than I do as a childless married woman.  I know there is stress trying to balance both parts of their lives, but honestly I've never known a working mom who had to quit work because she couldn't mentally handle both.

I know I'm privileged in that Mr Dress shares in keeping our home.  I know I have less stress because I'm not trying to balance work and children.  But.......

Am I just naive to think women can and do do both without the anxiety, panic attacks, mental health issues these women claim?  Am I cynical/ wrong to think these women are making this stuff up?

Because I haven't experienced this and don't know anyone who has I'm skeptical.

Please help me out FJ.  I really don't understand the leghumpers here.

[Absolutely no shade on anyone who has realized they cannot mentally handle doing both. It's just that I haven't seen this in my life.]

I think you've missed two essential aspects of these types of situations:

1) These women are married to men who have the same version of marriage in mind: subservient women dealing with *all* of the chores (except garbage, vehicles, and yardwork) and expecting it to be joyful, on-time, and flawless 100% of the time. They expect to feel satisfied, fulfilled, and proud of themselves for this. But they never do. Also doing 100% of the parenting and having every normal childish kids-aren't-perfect moment blamed on their inadequacy (both by themselves and their husbands). These women find their "flaws" debilitating and their husband's expectations and criticisms unendurable.

2) Because for these women, with this version of an 'ideal' family in their minds, their "failure" to parent-and-housekeep up to their own and their husbands' expectations -- it's deeply tied to their identity, their self worth, and their beliefs about the approval of their God -- it impacts their mental health disproportionately. And mental health is not isolated from physical health. Being beat up and worn down mentally actually does drain your energy. Not metaphorically. Physically. Then you find you can do even less, and the effect snowballs. Finding a way to have fewer responsibilities can seem like the only solution.

Also, the less money you have, the more housework there is. High quality stuff is easier to keep clean. Good tools and good chemicals are a big help. Many of these women don't have that going on for them.

And one you didn't really miss, but a bit more info:

3) Even with children in full-time professional daycare (which the children of young fundamentalist families aren't likely to be), there is still a lot of society-wide sexism that creates a 'vacuum' if women don't provide copious amounts of unpaid labour in caregivng to support the way our societies work. Children are harder than they seem. That's okay because the love and devotion that parents feel can certainly make up for the duties associated with reproducing -- but I think, you are right that as a person who hasn't raised kids, it's hard to "get" as an outsider. Many women are surprised. A huge amount of women 'solve' this 'problem' by cutting back on paid work in order to provide adequate unpaid labour -- either by working for less hours, choosing work with more 'flexibility', or choosing less intensive or strenuous types of work. Most families with babies or kids below school age have one parent with a 'normal full time' gig, and one parent with 'something a bit less than that' in order to make it work. And even then, it just barely works. (And if you don't earn much in the first place, by the time you think about 'cutting back' you may find that by working you make roughly equivalent to a childcare bill anyways, so it hardly seems worth it.)

Edited August 7, 2022 by Pammy

[louisa05]

Straight from her vacation home, Lori condemns vacations: 

Spoiler

 

[Alisamer]

On 8/6/2022 at 5:12 PM, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

A lot of the comments go on and on about how when the leghumper worked and tried to keep house their lives were unending horrible debilitating anxiety, panic attacks, mental health issues, etc, etc, etc.  It was all just too too too much to bear so they had to quit work to save their sanity.

Disclaimer :  I've always worked, I don't have children, I keep house, cook, am crafty, etc..

I do not understand these women's debilitating metal issues about working and keeping a home.  I understanding working mothers have a much harder time than I do as a childless married woman.  I know there is stress trying to balance both parts of their lives, but honestly I've never known a working mom who had to quit work because she couldn't mentally handle both.

I know I'm privileged in that Mr Dress shares in keeping our home.  I know I have less stress because I'm not trying to balance work and children.  But.......

Am I just naive to think women can and do do both without the anxiety, panic attacks, mental health issues these women claim?  Am I cynical/ wrong to think these women are making this stuff up?

Because I haven't experienced this and don't know anyone who has I'm skeptical.

Please help me out FJ.  I really don't understand the leghumpers here.

[Absolutely no shade on anyone who has realized they cannot mentally handle doing both. It's just that I haven't seen this in my life.]

I am single, work full time, have only a cat and some fish, and I struggle sometimes with the housework. But that's a ME thing, and a depression thing, and a perfectionism getting in the way of "good enough" thing, for me, combined with a too small house and too much stuff. I can see how some of these women would have trouble keeping up, especially if the husband is essentially another child and they are expected to never emasculate him by asking for help. 

For me, a lot of it is that when I get home from work, I want to eat dinner, feed the fish, and snuggle with the cat. I might get the energy together to do some cleaning, I might not. I might doze off watching a YouTube video and wake up at 11 wondering what happened and where the day went. This past week I've done much better about things, though not perfect, so I'm hoping that keeps up. 

What I can't understand is why Lori has anything to say about this, or why anyone would think she's a good person to talk to about it. She had a housekeeper! And a nanny! And an adequately sized house with plenty of storage, and money to buy appliances and other conveniences to make cleaning easier. Her idea of cooking was assembling a big salad every few days, to haul out of the fridge for dinner each night! 

[Hane]

Somehow I managed as a working mom (with a full time office job and a part time teaching job) without collapsing into a juddering heap. Suck it, Lori.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

From Lori's post -- all the things she has that she condemns if other people have them:

• Wide screen TV
• Smart phone
• Computer 
• Internet
• Laptop
• Insurance
• College (for 3 of her 4 children)
• Updated kitchen
• Cosmetics (and all her woo and expensive organic food)
• Multiple cars
• Vacations

Lori's motto -- Perfectly fine for me. but sinful for thee.

 

 

[Loveday]

2 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

From Lori's post -- all the things she has that she condemns if other people have them:

• Wide screen TV
• Smart phone
• Computer 
• Internet
• Laptop
• Insurance
• College (for 3 of her 4 children)
• Updated kitchen
• Cosmetics (and all her woo and expensive organic food)
• Multiple cars
• Vacations

Lori's motto -- Perfectly fine for me. but sinful for thee.

 

 

She would probably counter that she didn't have all those things when her children were small, that she sacrificed so much to be able to stay at home--except that we know she didn't. We know she had a nanny and a housekeeper and ALL the things in that list above, the entire time she was raising her kids! Well, except perhaps for the 'updated' kitchen. But I've seen the before pics of her kitchen; it was far nicer than the kitchens most people have even before she got those granite countertops she insisted she didn't REALLY want. 🙄

 

[SongRed7]

22 hours ago, Hane said:

Somehow I managed as a working mom (with a full time office job and a part time teaching job) without collapsing into a juddering heap. Suck it, Lori.

Same....I've always worked (and had to work, not just for the luxuries as Lori proclaims -- but to help pay mortgage, health insurance (hubbies industry offer crapping insurance at best...I work for a large healthcare system and have excellent health benefits) and managed to keep house (not always perfect, but good enough) cook (mostly from scratch) as well as enjoy sewing and crafts and working in my large vegetable garden.   

Everyone has different abilities, but in Lori's world there is no room for the woman who can juggle work and home (I'm not saying it's not hard or exhausting). It doesn't fit her narrative. The truth of the matter is,  women ALWAYS worked even in Biblical days -- selling goods at the market, working in fields, etc. Just because "accounting" and "marketing managers" and "scientist" weren't a thing doesn't mean they didn't work.  

15 hours ago, Loveday said:

it was far nicer than the kitchens most people have even before she got those granite countertops she insisted she didn't REALLY want. 

Lori always explains away her lifestyle or things that go against what she preaches/teaches women by insisting she did really want that. For example:

• Lori went to college but INSISTED he dad made her and she doesn't remember anything and it only cost some "low" amount (which actually in todays dollars is like $17,000 a year)
• Lori says women shouldn't take vacations but she INSISTS that she is only going to the cabin her grandfather build for two months every summer ISN'T a vacation. It's practically an obligation
• Lori insists that women should be with their children FULL TIME, yet she is always babysitting her grandchilden for a variety of reason BECAUSE it's the older woman duty to help young mothers. 
• She hates TV but insists she was only watching Hallmark movies (until she didn't, until she did again) because she was SO SICK and needed something to take her mind off her ails. 
• She says women who use cosmetics, get their nails done, etc is not Godly but continues to color her own hair because "Ken wants me to.
   

Edited August 9, 2022 by SongRed7

[Hane]

@SongRed7, same here: I cooked from scratch, sewed a lot, and gardened. No, my house wasn’t perfect, but I made significant contributions to our budget and am the reason why my child got to go to the college of her choice. (Now she outearns me, and at a career she loves.)

I swear I managed to accomplish far more with a kid and two jobs than I do now as a retiree!

[smittykins]

On 7/21/2022 at 3:43 PM, Jackie3 said:

What? That's insane. People really say that?

I've often wondered what it's like if you truly believe a loved one is in Hell. And everyone around you agrees.

Back in my fundie-lite days, there was a period where my church was in between pastors, so we had candidates come and preach over several weeks.  One did his sermon about Hell, and his belief that his father was there because to the best of his knowledge, he had never accepted Jesus.

[SongRed7]

Lori has a new YouTubes and appropriately titles it a "rant"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TxSOMiRuTt4&t=423s

Not for anything but her time away doesn't seem to be doing her any good.  Instead of relaxed and rested, she looks a little rough around the edges. She needs her hair professionally done.  It look burnt and frizzy. 

 

Edited August 11, 2022 by SongRed7

[louisa05]

Her fear of sunscreen is really doing great things for her skin. Yikes! 

 

[Foursquare]

I listened to her video and here is my "rant."  I can't decide if this is a logical train of thought or not, but why do women like Lori who rail against women speaking in church spend so much time TALKING.ELSEWHERE?  It's a good thing church is only 1-2 hours a week, or they might have trouble keeping silent!  And Lori instructed her father in God's "rules" about women being silent in church!  How in the world does that fit into her Titus 2 "ministry"?  And she corrects men who disagree with her, but that's OK because she's not behind a pulpit in a church! Does that minimize the importance of the pulpit in the church, if you can say whatever you want the rest of the week?

And for Pete's sake, being egalitarian DOES NOT mean a wife does not have to submit to her husband.  (I'm speaking as one who has been in an egalitarian marriage for almost 47 years.)  Granted it may mean different things in different marriages, but in mine it means husband and wife submit to one another (as in Eph. 5:21).  And yes, you can make it work.  

GGGGRRRR.  I wish I could stop reading Lori.  I've tried a few times to show her a better way, but it's like pounding your head against a concrete wall.  She's not going to change, and I wish I could walk away from her.