Do You Think Anna Has Any Friends?

[luv2laugh]

I would imagine that it would be hard for her to have many friends with her living in rural Arkansas and waiting for Josh to come home from the car lot every day. Especially with being involved in ATI/IBLP, she can't go to a Church and meet with other believers. I know that ATI/IBLP fellowships at the annual Homeschool Conferences but she won't be able to attend those and meet other moms until her children get a little older. I can't help but feel bad for her. At least most believers have most of their friends within the Church so they have other moms & friends to help them out and such, hang out, and let their kids hang out as well. I can't help but feel bad for Anna, I wonder if she feels isolated at times.

[Cassandra]

The feeling I get from the Duggars, and the majority of fundies is that your family is all you need in life. You don't need friends, you don't need an outside church (home church is fine), and you should own your own business so you can continue to limit your socialization.

I imagine they think Anna's sisters and Josh's sisters should be Anna's besties.

Maybe she has a secret social life on the interwebz!

[Witsec6]

Yeah, I'm not very religious at all, but I mostly hang out with my family, not friends.

[Lily]

It's not like this is restricted to fundies, though. The number of personal (ie face-to-face and frequent contact) relationships the average adult has is at an all time low, and most people, despite social media and the like, are pretty isolated. You never even realize how isolate you are until you know the alternative, like living in an intentional community, ecovillage, social co-op apartment complex, or what have you.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

Actually, there are any number of Churches that promote ATI/IBLP, but we know the Duggars homechurch so I assume the Josh Duggars go there. I would imagine we'll see the whole crew on the bus for the Big Sandy trip next spring unless she is already pregnant again and too sick to travel.

I would think it would be hard to move beyond her in-laws trusted circle of friends.

Am I the only one who thinks Michelle does not really like Anna?? Maybe she wanted Josh to wait or marry someone else?? There's always a bit of an edge to her when she talks about Anna. And, I don't just mean the usual "new womb in town" kind of thing--I mean she really doesn't seem to like her.

[luv2laugh]

Actually, there are any number of Churches that promote ATI/IBLP, but we know the Duggars homechurch so I assume the Josh Duggars go there. I would imagine we'll see the whole crew on the bus for the Big Sandy trip next spring unless she is already pregnant again and too sick to travel.

I would think it would be hard to move beyond her in-laws trusted circle of friends.

Am I the only one who thinks Michelle does not really like Anna?? Maybe she wanted Josh to wait or marry someone else?? There's always a bit of an edge to her when she talks about Anna. And, I don't just mean the usual "new womb in town" kind of thing--I mean she really doesn't seem to like her.

I don't know about that. If there was a feud between Michelle and Anna, I don't think they'd want Michelle to be the one to know the gender first and keep the big secret.

[bananacat]

It's not like this is restricted to fundies, though. The number of personal (ie face-to-face and frequent contact) relationships the average adult has is at an all time low, and most people, despite social media and the like, are pretty isolated. You never even realize how isolate you are until you know the alternative, like living in an intentional community, ecovillage, social co-op apartment complex, or what have you.

I think it's pointless to count most interactions as somehow "fake" just because you're not in the same room. I'm sure that people were similarly alarmist when the telegraph and telephone were invented, and there were probably even people who complained about letter-writing before that. But the truth is that most people don't make a distinction between "real" and "fake" interactions with their friends. Blogs, texting, internet forums, online games, and online chats often make people feel less isolated, especially those that can't have "real" relationships due to living in the middle of nowhere, agoraphobia, being too busy to get out often, or traveling for work frequently. Even further, people can find more others that enjoy their own tastes. Rather than being stuck with whoever lives in your small town, you can now look around the entire world to find people who share your own interests.

But Anna doesn't even have that. She's been brainwashed enough to keep herself isolated without her father doing it for her. Her life revolves around Smuggar. If she has any free time now, she probably talks to her sisters on the phone or does things with her sisters-in-law. Soon she'll gave so many kids that she won't have time for kids, and Mack will become her best friend.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

I don't know about that. If there was a feud between Michelle and Anna, I don't think they'd want Michelle to be the one to know the gender first and keep the big secret.

Don't you think the producer or someone came up with that lame idea? Ditto the Cross-promotion with Cake Boss for the "gender reveal" with Mac and the equally stupid Sky-writing stunt for Smuggar Jr?? Call me crass, but I think they do what they are told.

[luv2laugh]

Don't you think the producer or someone came up with that lame idea? Ditto the Cross-promotion with Cake Boss for the "gender reveal" with Mac and the equally stupid Sky-writing stunt for Smuggar Jr?? Call me crass, but I think they do what they are told.

Hmm, maybe you're right. I just haven't seen Michelle seem to imply dislike towards Anna. Do you know of any times she did this?

[Lillybee]

I think like a lot of controlling mothers, Michelle wouldn't like anyone Joshie married.

[GeoBQn]

I think Anna probably latched on to friends of the Duggars, like the Queries. Was there also an episode where she was interacting with the wife of someone else who helps out at the car lot?

[dastarddamsel]

No, I don't think she has many friends. She has her sisters, probably her own mother, and her sisters-in-law. It's unfortunate, because sometimes it's really nice to have friends that you're not somehow related to. But she's been conditioned to distrust outsiders, so there you have it. We can hope maybe she floats around online, but that's also doubtful. I'd like to think she's on Ravelry (a knitting website), but that might even be a little out of her realm.

As for a Michelle/Anna feud? As the future DIL to a very controlling MIL, they have quite the same dynamic on camera that I have with my MIL.

The only son Michelle seems close to, and actually seems to know some things about and care about... is Josh. Of course she didn't want some lady infringing on her territory. And somewhere deep in side, I'd like to think Michelle Ruark is still in there, with a little tinge of sanity... and that Michelle realizes that Josh is way too young to be married and have two kids.

[kb2]

There's a fundie idea that hanging out with only family will fulfill any social wants and needs, and that intergenerational friendships are better than friends your own age. So she doesn't just have Smuggar for a friend, she has his parents, and all of his siblings, and her own kids. She has probably homeschooled her entire life, never having a bunch of friends her own age, in preparation for the other fundie idea that you will never have a bunch of friends your own age in adulthood, no matter what you do.

[Buzzard]

I think Anna probably spends quite a bit of time over at the main compound. Since we know she doesnt blog (which clearly substitutes for real personal interaction for other fundie women), she may spend a lot of time making meals for joshie and hanging out with the duggar girls. We know from last night's episode that she isnt so good at keeping the house (since the kids room became a crap room). I wonder if she's working on a book, helping michelle with a book etc.

I also thought it was REALLY odd she called the duggars "mom and dad". She seems to have really walked away from her family.

[FloraDoraDolly]

I think Anna probably latched on to friends of the Duggars, like the Queries. Was there also an episode where she was interacting with the wife of someone else who helps out at the car lot?

Yeah, Josh and Anna were shown going out to dinner with the car lot guy (I think his name is Josh also) and his wife. They have a little boy about Mack's age.

[TheJewAmongUs]

Also, Anna's sisters seem to be in town and on family trips often.

[Jessica]

No, I don't think she has friends. Well, not until Sean comes along and reads this and whaddya know! We'll see her at a mom's group next season.

[tinuviel]

I also thought it was REALLY odd she called the duggars "mom and dad". She seems to have really walked away from her family.

That might be a regional thing though. My mom calls her in-laws "mom and dad" as well even though she's close to her own parents.

Although the whole "leave and cleave" deal seems to be more emphasized for women than men in the Fundie-verse. If Anna is now first and foremost Josh's helpmeet, then she might feel some duty to identify more closely with Josh's family.

[Guest Anonymous]

I feel REALLY bad for her. I don't think she has any friends of her "own" if you get what I mean. :(

[MamaJunebug]

Oh, Anna Duggar -- all this time, I figured this was about Anna Marie Maxwell. Both women traveled from a coast to Central Nowhere to marry into insular, large families.

Does Anna M have friends beyond the other Maxwell women? Since the elder Maxwells seem to be pretty good about leaving the married ones alone, does Chris have the say-so over who Anna can see?

I was reviewing some ofDominion Wackiness Troll's 2011 posts & was struck like never before by the blatant depersonalization of females from little on up as evidenced in VF's Dad-Daughter Weekend Complete With Blindfolds And Pop-grooming Practice.

It makes me suspect that both of the Annas have little say-so in who they befriend.

BTW, clarification in re : "Central Nowhere": I've visited Fayetteville in NW Arkansas & found it delightful. I've spent a good amount of time in the Leavenworth/Jackson County, MO environs, too. While I am CONVINCED that the Garden Of Eden was not there (have you *heard about "tornado alley," not to mention the frackin humidity?) both are perfectly fine areas. It's just that both areas are remote and to move there from a faraway, apparently close family environment would have to be a strain to say the least.

[VenusJS]

Am I the only one who thinks Michelle does not really like Anna?? Maybe she wanted Josh to wait or marry someone else?? There's always a bit of an edge to her when she talks about Anna. And, I don't just mean the usual "new womb in town" kind of thing--I mean she really doesn't seem to like her.

No, you're definitely not the only one. The way Anna and Michelle interact (at least on camera) with each other seems like they've never gotten past just being acquainted -- The body language, how they phrase things and their voices seem to indicate that they are merely tolerable to one another, not very close. Doesn't seem to be a whole lot of warmth in that relationship. Anna and Michelle talking about birthin' while getting pedicures reminded me of a conversation I've had with an aunt I've only met a few times and never really liked. That cold, I'm-being-polite-to-you because I have to be sort of thing.

On topic at hand, I don't think Anna has any other friends besides her SILs and Mac.

[lilwriter85]

I think someone like Anna might have a few friends outside of her family and in-laws. I think she right now she spends a lot of time with the Duggars.

[ladypuglover]

I think it's pointless to count most interactions as somehow "fake" just because you're not in the same room. I'm sure that people were similarly alarmist when the telegraph and telephone were invented, and there were probably even people who complained about letter-writing before that. But the truth is that most people don't make a distinction between "real" and "fake" interactions with their friends. Blogs, texting, internet forums, online games, and online chats often make people feel less isolated, especially those that can't have "real" relationships due to living in the middle of nowhere, agoraphobia, being too busy to get out often, or traveling for work frequently. Even further, people can find more others that enjoy their own tastes. Rather than being stuck with whoever lives in your small town, you can now look around the entire world to find people who share your own interests.

Something like FreeJinger :think:

[ladypuglover]

No, you're definitely not the only one. The way Anna and Michelle interact (at least on camera) with each other seems like they've never gotten past just being acquainted -- The body language, how they phrase things and their voices seem to indicate that they are merely tolerable to one another, not very close. Doesn't seem to be a whole lot of warmth in that relationship. Anna and Michelle talking about birthin' while getting pedicures reminded me of a conversation I've had with an aunt I've only met a few times and never really liked. That cold, I'm-being-polite-to-you because I have to be sort of thing.

On topic at hand, I don't think Anna has any other friends besides her SILs and Mac.

[Scales]

I remember from years back that someone who knew the Duggars said that when Michelle only had like 14 kids, she would drive around a lot and make the kids sit in the van while she went in to socialize with people.