Best Courtship Stories?

[Jatalie1996]

 

What are some of the best/funniest/most bizarre courtship/engagement stories out there? I've read Daniel and Kathryn Staddon's already, as well as Pecan and Priss. Are there any other good ones? Mods, feel free to move this topic if there is a better place for it.

 

[hoipolloi]

1 hour ago, Jatalie1996 said:

What are some of the best/funniest/most bizarre courtship/engagement stories out there?

The remodeled YLCF, now called Kindred Grace, still has links to a number of the older ones from the heyday of Daddy-run courtships about 10-15 years ago.

Note: in some cases, the links to the original courtship stories are now defunct.

[albireo]

Let's see. I only have bizarre, but here are some doozies. 

Maranatha and Matthew Chapman, with child marriage and a Miss Havisham-esque waiting in a wedding dress for months until her daddy decided they were ready to get married:

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism/2013/12/the-rest-of-the-maranatha-story.html (summary from an ex-fundie blog)

http://lifeandlibertyministries.com/archives/000151.php (the original story)

(oh also now they run a Crossfit box )

There's Kristina of Kristina's Keepsakes, with the six-inch ruler, the Arby's engagement, and the dad putting the engagement ring on her finger. Other FJers might know more than I do there.

This is a wedding, but Katie Morton washing Alan Smith's feet to demonstrate what a good helpmeet she was, plus the garb straight out of a Renaissance faire and the men riding in on horses (more pictures in the link):

http://mortonclan.blogspot.com/2006/04/katie-washed-alans-feet-at-their.html

Joshua and Laura Ohlman, who had literally no choice in their "betrothal" according to his dad's creepy-ass ideology:

http://www.princecharmingdiapers.com/betrothal-story-joshua-laura/

More recently, and rather Staddon-esque in the game of chicken they were playing; Johnny and Brittany Ingalls (she's best known for being the sister of Tayte Alexander, S'Morton borg member and borderline child groom extraordinaire):

http://thesethalexanderfamilyblog.blogspot.com/2017/10/his-good-and-perfect-gift-johnny-and.html

[mango_fandango]

I have heard so much about Kristina and the Arby’s engagement, yet I know nothing about it. Is there anywhere I can find stuff out??

[Escadora]

I just read the Maranatha and Matthew story, and I really did appreciate the author of this piece for this part here: 

Quote

Matthew says that homeschooled girls mature quickly. While I’m sure there are some homeschooled girls for whom this is true, I know the sort of homeschooled girls he’s talking about—they’re the ones raised to care for big families, cook, clean, and take care of babies, wear long dresses, practice submission, and learn a modest temperament. Maturity isn’t the ability to make a pie or change a diaper. Maturity isn’t the ability to quote a Bible verse or stay silent rather than gushing over the latest fad. And while we’re at it, running a home in today’s world takes more than knowledge of cooking, cleaning, and childcare.  

I recommend reading the entire thing, if you're able to stomach reading about the shocking lack of agency afforded to a - let's be totally honest here - child and the way her father allowed someone who was - in my opinion - a paedophile (he first became attracted to her when she was 13, and married her at 15! She looks like the child she damn well was in the picture of what I assume was their wedding day) to take his daughter and marry her far, far earlier than she should have been married.  

Ugh and that father. What a controlling, manipulative bastard. Actually, I take it back, if you're prone to getting the angries in the faces of stories like these and thinking about them for hours after this, maybe don't read it unless you'll have something to distract you afterwards. I'm starting to wish I'd saved it for later myself. 

[albireo]

@Escadora Most shockingly, that's her daughter Lauren, who was also married at 16 to an older man and has a kid named Living Hope. Again, they're kinda branching out from their old creepy ways now, but yup, I agree that everybody should read that story and any summaries that are out there.

[Escadora]

1 minute ago, albireo said:

@Escadora Most shockingly, that's her daughter Lauren, who was also married at 16 to an older man and has a kid named Living Hope. Again, they're kinda branching out from their old creepy ways now, but yup, I agree that everybody should read that story and any summary you can find.

OH! I see. Wow, that's what I get for not reading captions.  

(I almost thought the author of the piece was her daughter, which was truly a WTF?? moment for me.)

I don't know whether that makes it better or worse but I'm going with worse because it's one thing to have been a victim of a predatory paedophile and controlling father working together, one I sympathise with and wish she'd never had to endure, and quite another to perpetuate that cycle with her own daughter (assuming, of course, that she had any power at all in this male-dominated clusterfuck of a courtship system, which she very well may not have had, so perhaps my initial reaction of blaming her for this were harsh and unwarranted and possibly evidence of me myself having some hidden misogynistic views that I need to work on).  The men in these cults truly and honestly suck. And so do some of the women (for sake of fairness) but ugh patriarchal societies make me so rage-y. Women do deserve better than this. Heck, that's not even the point, because she wasn't even a woman. 

Little girls deserve better than this. 

[NachosFlandersStyle]

In terms of creepy courtship, I'll always mention Jessiqua Wittman: 

She has a very lengthy multi-part recollection of the story up on her website. Of course she's trying to portray it as a great love story, but read between the lines and it's the story of her parents, impoverished with too many kids to feed, conspiring with a strange grown man to get their teenage daughter out of the house.

 

[dawbs]

I do wish thatwife's powerpoint that she used to convince Thathusband to marry her was still around.
It was horribly depressing though.  Because who wants to be with someone who has to be convinced to be with them?

[dawbs]

6 hours ago, hoipolloi said:

The remodeled YLCF, now called Kindred Grace, still has links to a number of the older ones from the heyday of Daddy-run courtships about 10-15 years ago.

Note: in some cases, the links to the original courtship stories are now defunct.

I do wish fundies would give 'where are they now' updates to their 'love stories'.  I wonder how many are still 'happily married'  (or unhappily married.  Or straight.  or whatever)

[uber frau]

If by 'good' courtship stories, you mean creepy and fucked-up, try Laura Camp-Ohlman's on on for size.

http://www.princecharmingdiapers.com/betrothal-story-joshua-laura/

There's a pretty good thread about them too. It was started when Joshua's father ,Vaughan, thought that holding a camp for like minded families with the express aim of pairing off their unmarried children (and I do mean children) sounded like a grand way to increase his audience and the size of his bank account.  Fortunately, the organisation who owned the campsite (Salvation Army?) got wind of what he was at up to and cancelled his reservation. In the meantime he has arranged underage marriages for at least two more of his children. Some brave soul,who has far far more intestinal fortitude than I do, has reviewed his book.  The series is around here somewhere, it's been posted as a blog.

 

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

28 minutes ago, uber frau said:

The series is around here somewhere, it's been posted as a blog.

@Destiny read Vaughn Ohlman (is a creeper) 's nasty book and recapped it in her blog. The first entry is here:

The first thread about Vaughn Ohlman the creeper and pedophilic pimp's marriage auction  fundie singles retreat starts here: 

And I'm pretty sure that @uber frau remembers right; the Salvation Army owns the campsite Vaughn Ohlman the creeper was going to use, and when they heard more about his meat market retreat, they cancelled his reservation. 

[ophelia]

I'm at work now and don't have the time to relly dig into it, but I always found the engagement of Emily Case Brower and her now ex-husband Ben Brower really creepy. It seems like there wasn't really a get-to-know phase or courtship. Instead of that, both of them had told their fathers that they were interested in the other. It always seemed as if they had never really talked to each other and then suddenly all of the blue Ben proposed to her. They seemed madly in love for the first years and had two daughters in quick succession. Then Ben das deployed in Iraq and left her while being pregnant with number three.

[mydoggoskeeper]

It is curious that in the cases of the higher profile fundie marriages that go south (Bradrick!, Katie & Alan), why the families don't take down their gushing tales of courtship and marriage.  Cautionary tale?

The very notable exception being Natalie and her tragic stories.  

[scoutsadie]

24 minutes ago, mydoggoskeeper said:

It is curious that in the cases of the higher profile fundie marriages that go south (Bradrick!, Katie & Alan), why the families don't take down their gushing tales of courtship and marriage.  Cautionary tale?

The very notable exception being Natalie and her tragic stories.  

I would think more along the lines of "hadn't occurred to them while living out the aftermath," or simply lack of internet saavy.

Thanks, you guys, for the links, and to @Jatalie1996 for starting this topic - my reaction was "Oooh!" when I saw it... and then I immediately thought of the Staddons (though if pressed, I would have said "Kendalyn" - was likely thinking of Kathryn).

I don't have the links offhand, and want to go ahead and dive into the rabbit holes y'all pointed to above, so will someone else add the Maxwells' stories here, please?

[scoutsadie]

19 hours ago, albireo said:

Maranatha and Matthew Chapman, with child marriage and a Miss Havisham-esque waiting in a wedding dress for months until her daddy decided they were ready to get married:

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism/2013/12/the-rest-of-the-maranatha-story.html (summary from an ex-fundie blog)

http://lifeandlibertyministries.com/archives/000151.php (the original story)

(oh also now they run a Crossfit box )

Just FYI, the second link doesn't work - I think the LLM server no longer exists or something, given the IP address error msg I received through the link you provided and the same via the link from Libby Anne's post. Thanks, though!

[Sobeknofret]

If someone can find it, the courtship of Kelly and Peter Bradrick was a real jaw-dropper. Smuggest thing I've ever read.

[Jingeyk]

16 hours ago, dawbs said:

I do wish thatwife's powerpoint that she used to convince Thathusband to marry her was still around.
It was horribly depressing though.  Because who wants to be with someone who has to be convinced to be with them?

Ask and ye shall receive (I hope this link works)

https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/12DVTVd3SJWy0TQ-KgqCeblHdxIdG4jdhcBJeVyWgAgI/edit#slide=id.i0

[scoutsadie]

17 hours ago, NachosFlandersStyle said:

In terms of creepy courtship, I'll always mention Jessiqua Wittman: 

She has a very lengthy multi-part recollection of the story up on her website. 

Y'all. If you take time time to read Jessiqua's story, I think it's also worth your time to read @Burris's commentary about it - really well-articulated "WTF?"

It's a few years old and I wasn't given the option to upvote it, but Brava, @Burris, brava.

[Anonymousguest]

I didn't read all 900 parts of Jessaqua's story. Was the guy previously married? Did he have children? Are they the adopted adult children she mentioned somewhere? I couldn't find this information skimming. 

[akinom]

1 hour ago, Anonymousguest said:

 Was the guy previously married? Did he have children? Are they the adopted adult children she mentioned somewhere?

Iirc, they were relatives of his, maybe his sister’s kids?

[NachosFlandersStyle]

2 hours ago, Anonymousguest said:

I didn't read all 900 parts of Jessaqua's story. Was the guy previously married? Did he have children? Are they the adopted adult children she mentioned somewhere? I couldn't find this information skimming. 

I'm pretty sure he was never married. No indication how he came to have custody of his older kids, whether they were the children of relatives or otherwise.

[NachosFlandersStyle]

6 hours ago, scoutsadie said:

I immediately thought of the Staddons (though if pressed, I would have said "Kendalyn" - was likely thinking of Kathryn).

Kendalyn's story is wild too-- it's basically "my %$#@ing dad has made every single decision in my life, including who I would marry, and I just went along with it, because sigh, whatever. Luckily, it turns out my husband is somewhat tolerable."

https://www.robertloveskendalyn.com/kendalyn/

[Palimpsest]

9 minutes ago, NachosFlandersStyle said:

Kendalyn's story is wild too

Kendalyn.  Most unenthusiastic bride ever until she was overtaken by Kathryn in the cold feet stakes!  What is it about those Staddons that inspires such passion apathy.

Most of my other favorites have already been covered above but Meredith and Stephen Hammer's courtship and wedding were pretty good.  Rhodes scholar just stumbled on his Fundie bride while surfing the net.  And their wedding was OTT with the flower girl dress and 27 bellringers!  My summary here (scroll down the page): 

Photos saved here, thanks to @DomWackTroll.

 https://www.datalounge.com/thread/10006793-dominion-wackiness-post-of-the-week-the-wedding-of-meredith-and-stephen

5 hours ago, scoutsadie said:

will someone else add the Maxwells' stories here, please?

The Maxwell failed courtships are far more interesting than their successful ones.  Unfortunately they swiffered all the evidence from their blog.  I can't remember much about the Christopher and Sara Smith failed courtship, and threads about it must be buried back on yuku.

But here is poor Joe getting dumped a week before the wedding by Elizabeth Munck.  She missed a bullet!

Nathan and Christopher's success stories are boring, and the most interesting thing about Joseph's courtship and wedding with Elissa was that it was so super-secret.  I don't think we ever got a courtship story there.

John's courtship and wedding are really recent - see Maxhell.  Most memorable things about them are: 

• Steve getting his nose put out of joint because the Bontragers didn't keep the engagement super-secret,
• the preaching about Steve's scrotum at the wedding. 
• Oh, and Chels going barefoot down the aisle in Iowa in January.

An honorable mention though of a a really awful Fundie marriage and a shout out to some parents who stood up for their daughter, got her out, and rethought their beliefs. 

Autumn was married at 16 with parental encouragement and approval to a guy who turned out to be hugely abusive almost immediately.  I haven't checked in on her recently but I wish her all success.

This is a thread about her rescue and recovery. 

 

4 hours ago, scoutsadie said:

I think it's also worth your time to read @Burris's commentary about it - really well-articulated "WTF?"

Good example of how Burris did sometimes make sense before she went completely off the rails.

[Palimpsest]

On 3/11/2018 at 5:19 PM, mango_fandango said:

I have heard so much about Kristina and the Arby’s engagement, yet I know nothing about it. Is there anywhere I can find stuff out??

From Kristina's old blog:  http://kristinaskeeps.blogspot.com/2009/02/engagement-pictures.html

Oh my.  She really has grown up since then.

Kristina has been a member here since yuku.  She pops in sometimes to set us straight.  Look under "Kristina & Josh Carter" in the Families and Individuals section.