Raising Children in a World Where White Supremacist Feel Brave

[cascarones]

@LongTimeLurker and @onekidanddone This gives me a good look into what's coming, we're expecting a mixed little dumpling and weighing where to settle for a family. I've been flitting between West Coast and Texas, he's been wanting off the West Coast for a bit, but now we're a bit more hesitant on Texas, even in a liberal city. People seem to feel free to say the rudest things already and I'm not looking forward to helping our baby navigate this, since it's something I've struggled with addressing and correcting even with close friends (who don't mean harm, are just clueless at what's appropriate).  

That sounds silly to say, but it took me ages to feel comfortable navigating misogyny in the workplace (Is it intentional? Societal? Cultural? - varies).  I was very lucky in the sense my teammates had no qualms calling it out when they saw it, though it took time and encouragement to not just keep sweet and smile uncomfortably in my all blokes techy tech workplace. 

I'll learn it though, he's got the lay of the land and plenty of quips at the tip of his tongue that shut things down. 

[onekidanddone]

Greetings @cascarones.  We live in a very diverse and very blue county. In fact many of the towns in this county have been named the diverse in the country.  Daughter's school is split in fairly evenly Asian, Black, Hispanic and White. I'm glad I'm living here where my kid does not sick out.  All that being said I don't know if there is any region that would be free of racism and hatred. Just that some places seem to have more than others.

The only liberal place in Texas I can think of is Austin being a collage town and all. Also some of my favorite musicians are from there.. but I digress

Misogyny in the workplace is still alive and well.  I'm went into IT a predominantly male field. I've worked first coder and now a web developer.  The misogyny hit me like a ton of bricks from the get go. I still  get it, only this time I think it is also because of my age.   I'm in my 50s and when we hired a kid (still in high school at the time) as an intern he tried that crap on me.  It didn't work.  He has since graduated and has been hired and STILL tries it. I hate pulling rank on people, but I did so with him.  Damn whipper snapper.

I wish you the best navigating . It is not easy, but it can be done.

[bea]

The Virginia situation is all over the news, so I had to talk about it with my kids. 7yo got mad. 10yo cried. We usually try to see things from other points of view in this family, but the words "Some people are just evil racist assholes and we can't help them but we should ALWAYS stand up for those who are attacked by them." got out of my mouth.
If my kids grow up to punch Nazis, I won't be sorry.

[LeftCoastLurker]

@cascarones I think you might have meant me! We do live in a very blue county in California. I have to be honest and say I don't know that I would have adopted non-white children if I lived elsewhere. In fact, over a decade ago when we bought a second home in a not-so-diverse but very liberal area, our realtor made an offhand comment about, "I wouldn't recommend looking at homes in <fill in the surround towns>.

We also made sure the house we bought (our primary home) while getting ready to adopt was in a school district with a diverse student population in all ways; race, socioeconomic, religion, physical and intellectual capabilities. My children also happen to have very close ties with their two aunts and their son, and their two uncles and their fur babies!

Good luck finding a place to call home!

[EowynW]

I saved this for when I become a parent. 

http://www.rageagainsttheminivan.com/2017/08/how-to-talk-to-kids-about-racism.html?m=1