Jokes you've heard for/between fundies

[Vex]

Anyone know any fundie 'in' jokes that are passed between fundies? Something like 'how many QF does it take to change a library? 12, Mom and dad plus the army of 10 kids they birthed to do it for them.

[louisa05]

Most of the fundies I have known, both hardcore and fundie lite, have been rather humor impaired. 

When I worked at Christian school, though, the Charismatics were constantly passing around "end times rumors" and many of them began with some variation of "Two Charismatic Christians were driving and picked up a hitchhiker..." . This always sounded like the beginning of a dirty joke or a horror or porn movie to me, but it was actually always some nonsense about how the hitchhiker told them Jesus was coming in some random number of days, weeks or months and we should all prepare and then he disappeared because he was really and angel/prophet/messenger. They all heard this from someone who knew someone, who knew someone, who knew someone, who knew... (keep going with that as long as you like), who knew the people it happened to. 

A joke would have been less annoying. Even a really bad one. 

[Marian the Librarian]

The "Bigot on a bridge" joke is my personal fave:
 

Quote

 

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump. I ran over and said: "Stop. Don't do it."

"Why shouldn't I?" he asked.

"Well, there's so much to live for!"

"Like what?"

"Are you religious?"

He said: "Yes."

I said: "Me too. Are you Christian or Buddhist?"

"Christian."

"Me too. Are you Catholic or Protestant?"

"Protestant."

"Me too. Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"

"Baptist."

"Wow. Me too. Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"

"Baptist Church of God."

"Me too. Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"

"Reformed Baptist Church of God."

"Me too. Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?"

He said: "Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915."

I said: "Die, heretic scum," and pushed him off.

 

https://www.theguardian.com/uk/2005/sep/26/religion.world

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

A friend, raised (as we say in the South) hard-shell Baptist but who broke out of the shell , told me this:

Q -- Why do Baptists never make love standing up?  A -- Because someone might think they were dancing.