Anyone else depressed?

[Bugaboo]

I do feel very sad for the girls. All week, I've just thought about them and all they've had to go through. Nobody should have to go through this, and to have your own brother basically betray your trust must really hurt a lot. I am so angry with JB and Michelle, and of course Josh. JB and Michelle stood back and basically swept it under the rug; putting the girls second. I hope the girls get the help they need and can find some comfort and peace. I am so angry at Josh and it is absolutely unforgivable what he did. He ruined his entire family's life. I don't know how he can live with himself and what he did.

[LilahBelle]

Because I realize that sexual abuse is, unfortunately, rampant, and that sexual abuse in insular religious communities is covered up and often the victims are blamed - no, this one incident among millions of others did not depress me. It did bring up feelings of outrage. It also fills me with a glimmer of hope that maybe the public will come to a realization that what is portrayed on TV, or a celebrity's "brand" is often far from the reality. I hope they will also realize it's never a good idea to isolate children and deny them the basic human rights of an education and eventually freedoms commensurate with their age.

I'm still a little shocked at the revelations and how they hit like a bomb.

[Tatar-tot]

Yes. I always thought the show had a deterrent effect on the amount if abuse the kids suffered especially the 12 and under crowd. Between the buddies, camera crew and JB & M out of the house often there was a lot less rod and screaming. I was shocked when Michele set the timer and told had the kids take turns. I guarantee that did not happen when Josh was 8. He probably had the toy confiscated and out came the paddle. He would have never acted like Josie.

I imagine the tension level at the TTH is at an all time high and no one it allowed to leave do to security concerns. I feel for the kids.

It is going to grow old real fast being locked in a house with 20 plus.

[calimojo]

I am sad but mostly just so angry and frustrated that not even something this terrible will get through the idiots who blindly follow them.

I also fear that the wagons are being circled so tightly and that the kids are being fed even more bullshit about the evil world and persecution of good Christians.

And it also angers me that Christianity gets has become so perverse in the past 30 years. It didn't used to be this way, and now the neo-cons and idiots like the Koch brothers, etc, have become marketing geniuses and convinced well intentioned people that the only good Christian is a conservative Christian.

And as a mom, and as a bad ass mom, I might add, I really want to march into that household and remove all the children from Jana on Down. If I had all the money in the world, I would hire tutors for the adult kids to get them up to speed to pursue advance education/ training, apprenticeships, etc. And then I would enroll the younger kids in a secular private school. (Private mainly so they could have smaller class sizes and more individual attention since it would be such a culture shock for them). Perhaps after a year of that, they could transition to public schools.

I would search hi and low for a moderate and tolerant faith based community for the kids.

I would leave JB and M alone in that big house with some sort of mandate that they had to live there for the rest of their days. Let that house of sin and secrets become their TTH prison.

I would take Josh and put him through serious and intensive therapy, and install a well seasoned and wise case manager for the family and I would insist on regular and intense family monitoring until all minor children have left the home. I would also insist on either a public or a secular private school for the kids and I would mentor Anna to have some Job skills or education as it is likely that at some point, she may become the breadwinner for the family or a single mom, should Josh not be able to complete his therapy satisfactorily.

I would also mandate that Anna stop having children with Josh after M-4. Any more children could result in removal of the father permanently from the home.

I would take all of JB's money, Hopefully there is enough money in the pot to pay for a good education for each kid, and a nest egg that they could use as they choose to buy a starter home, travel, start a business, donate to charity, fund a real mission trip, etc.

I would also make sure that JB has a job, suitable for his experience and education (ie., minimum wage) and he must have a Female Boss. A fair and Just female boss. And Michelle will also have to work. I wouldn't really trust her to do child care, so I guess she might have to work for a housekeeping service or prepare meals at a homeless shelter.

Am I depressed? NO. I am Pissed off.

Edited re: plans for JB's money.

[SassyPants]

Picture it guys. You have 12 kids and are expecting #13. It's coming on dinner time so you send the kids to the living room and have your oldest son, who is holding his 4 yo sister, read a story. While you are preparing 3 rice dishes for 14+, your oldest son is molesting your 4 yo daughter and simultaneously reading a Bible based, Gothard approved story.

If this is not a clear indication that NO family needs 10-12-19 kids, I do not know what is.

Clearly, Josh won't be having a mega family and let's hope the others get the message too.

WhyTH did JB and M continue to procreate after these incidents? Jackasses.

[calimojo]

Picture it guys. You have 12 kids and are expecting #13. It's coming on dinner time so you send the kids to the living room and have your oldest son, who is holding his 4 yo sister, read a story. While you are preparing 3 rice dishes for 14+, your oldest son is molesting your 4 yo daughter and simultaneously reading a Bible based, Gothard approved story.

If this is not a clear indication that NO family needs 10-12-19 kids, I do not know what is.

Clearly, Josh won't be having a mega family and let's hope the others get the message too.

WhyTH did JB and M continue to procreate after these incidents? Jackasses.

I really don't want to picture that. :crying-yellow:

I know some really large families and it seems like they made it work. I am not sure that having a large family is inherently the issue. I do think there are unique challenges with mega families and probably there are some kids that come out of them feeling a bit lost in the shuffle.

The issue is THIS large family and their screwed up values and beliefs. I think it is the large family, combined with the isolationist way of life, the extreme legalistic religiosity and whack a doodle parents. The same number of kids raised in a moderate church, attending public or a good private school and two normal parents would have likely produced very different outcomes.

I also get some very weird vibes from the Willis family. While I will admit I sort of like some of their music, I just recently saw the first episode again, where the dad talks in depth about wanting his kids to learn to dance because it would teach them something about romantic interactions with the opposite sex.

Well that might be true, except all we see is the kids dancing with one another. Not other kids their own age from their same social group. Watching them rehearse and dance like they did made both of my kids feel awkward. I kind of dismissed it at first, but then I watched again ( this time after the Duggar Scandal broke), and hearing the Dad's comments and watching it made me feel awkward as well.

No I am not saying that anything bad is going on. But I do think, in light of the recent and multiple Issues that TLC has had from their "talent" in recent years, the vibe from the Willis's is all to familiar to me.

[SassyPants]

I do not believe that any 1 couple can adequately care for and meet the needs (physical, psycho-social, educational, medical, financial) of 10+ children.

Sorry.

The day is never longer than 24 hours.

[GiggleOfGirls]

I'm not sure I feel exactly depressed.... but definitely sickened by the extent of what the "sin in the camp" really was, anxious about I don't know what, and furious at the supporters.

Just upset in general. So upset.

And then all those idiots portraying everyone speaking out as just being gleeful because we disagree with the Duggars' beliefs :fryingpan: The hell? I mean, really? As if there's no other reason in the world that anyone would be upset by children being sexually molested! As if we're gleeful :angry-cussingblack:

My sleep has been crappy too.

Basically, I'm a mess.

[calimojo]

I do not believe that any 1 couple can adequately care for and meet the needs (physical, psycho-social, educational, medical, financial) of 10+ children.

Sorry.

The day is never longer than 24 hours.

I think you are right, in that something probably does suffer. I do however believe that there are a lot of people out there that would be able to do it better than JB and Michelle Duggar.

My bro-in law is from a family of 13, including one special needs child. Raised on 1 salary in a big city. All the kids went to college, all hold jobs, own businesses, etc. Most are married, none were arrested, no abuse known of, and the family is all still very close.

Also NONE of the kids had more than 3 of their own children, which I do think is telling of their experience. So while I do imagine that some kids got less attention than they deserved or needed, I also think something in that household ran better than what we have seen in the Duggar home. Of course, they weren't on TV, first of all. Mom didn't force her older children to pretty much raise the younger onesand they all went to public schools, a large church and had a huge circle of friends. They ate, they drank, and they didn't impose strict dating rules or shame them for being normal kids with normal interest in sex.

[Latuda]

Yeah depressed by the misogyny of organized religion. Depressed by how many men out there think it's right and just and Godly to treat women like hunks of flesh-- even their own daughters/sisters. Disgusted beyond words. Horrified by the idea that for every tragic story surfacing because of this scandal, there's thousands of women suffering in silence who will never get any kind of help or justice.

[Trynn]

Whenever I read the thread on Josh, afterward i immediately have to go reorganize my doll collection. I get sickened by the whole thing. Other than that no, it doesn't affect my life much.

[gemma]

I find the whole think very upsetting and depressing. My daughter and I had been fans. What happened to the girls is horrible. I had to explain to my daughter why we can't watch the show anymore. She's also very upset and disappointed.

[lizbeth]

I'm mostly pissed at the public reaction. It seemed like society was becoming more progressive, but apparently not because like 70% of the internet seems on board with the whole "It's okay because forgiveness, and besides, it's the girls' fault for defrauding him anyway," story.

[CorruptionInc.]

WhyTH did JB and M continue to procreate after these incidents? Jackasses.

Exactly!! This is what I have been thinking the whole time.

The fact that your eldest is a Criminal; wouldn't that make you stop and think "maybe we should stop with the babies, we've f-ed up?"

[FormerFan]

I've had a general feeling of anxiety and depression the last several days. I wasn't sure of the source, but I quickly realized it's all about this sickening news. I feel guilty for having wanted the Duggars to fall for so long - this is just not how I wanted it. I feel strange about knowing anything about them - for the first time, I'm genuinely ashamed that I made those spreadsheets. I feel powerless thinking about what the Duggar girls have gone through, having watched them for so long and not knowing what they've truly been through. I just feel sick and anxious about it all.

Anyone else feeling this way?

Yes, I was just telling my husband this and surprisingly he understood. I've been following the duggars on tv since the first special aired, I've met Jill and Jinger watched kids grow up. It's so sad to first think of the horrible things they were exposed to, I'm anxious because of a part of me felt like they were more protected with all of the cameras rolling, I feel that they are now going to shut off from the outside world.

[carriedaway14]

I get depressed when I think about Jinger's wedding speech to Jesss, how scared the girls must have been of Josh, and of why Josiah organized a skit for his parents that involved beating Josh to death. I hate how they've brainwashed all the girls and there's a good chance the girls did not receive the help they needed.

It upsets me that Bin's family sucks and isn't supporting Jessa the way she needs to be.

I also hate thinking about how the older girls must feel right now being trapped in that house while a media circus waits outside.

I also feel depressed when I think about Jana. How she must lay awake at night thinking about how she believes can't leave the house (through courtship or other ways) or those Lost Girls would truly be lost girls. It saddens me when I think about how she has said she has troubling forgiving her family members or how around when Josh started courting Anna she said "around this time last year I was praying for Josh to find someone."

I also made the mistake of googling that picture of Jana one of the camera crewman Frank Sun took of her: whenifeel.com/image/32398931461

Being close in age to her just makes me so depressed knowing she's just stuck in that house, wasting her youth to take care of children that aren't hers and that the only guys she comes into contact on a regular basis are the camera crew. To me that picture just makes her seem more isolated for that reason

[Vivi_music]

I really believed I was the only one who was getting all worked up because of the Joshua-gate. Wow. Not that I'm rejoicing in our collective depression!

The first night after it happened, I actually couldn't sleep. I was lying in my bed, staring at the ceiling and just thinking and thinking. Names came to mind, Jana, Jessa, Anna, Mckenzie! Maybe I slept at some point, but it must have been less than 3 hours. I was working the next day. Let's just say I took lots of Advil in the morning.

Since it all started, I haven't posted a lot on the main discussion topic, because it's moving so fast, and the discussions evolves just so drastically. All I can do it read and be sicken by all this. I'm like Trynn, the other night after reading about it on here, I actually had to go do something nice and positive (for me, it's reading some fluffy fanfiction) to change my mind completely. I couldn't go to bed with all this in my head or it would end up being another sleepless night.

[theinvisiblegirl]

I get depressed when I think about Jinger's wedding speech to Jesss, how scared the girls must have been of Josh, and of why Josiah organized a skit for his parents that involved beating Josh to death. I hate how they've brainwashed all the girls and there's a good chance the girls did not receive the help they needed.

It upsets me that Bin's family sucks and isn't supporting Jessa the way she needs to be.

I also hate thinking about how the older girls must feel right now being trapped in that house while a media circus waits outside.

I also feel depressed when I think about Jana. How she must lay awake at night thinking about how she believes can't leave the house (through courtship or other ways) or those Lost Girls would truly be lost girls. It saddens me when I think about how she has said she has troubling forgiving her family members or how around when Josh started courting Anna she said "around this time last year I was praying for Josh to find someone."

I also made the mistake of googling that picture of Jana one of the camera crewman Frank Sun took of her: whenifeel.com/image/32398931461

Being close in age to her just makes me so depressed knowing she's just stuck in that house, wasting her youth to take care of children that aren't hers and that the only guys she comes into contact on a regular basis are the camera crew. To me that picture just makes her seem more isolated for that reason

I had forgotten about that skit! Wow. That's pretty powerful now that I'm thinking about it.

[luv2laugh]

When this news broke out, my jaw dropped. I had anxiety for a good two days. The first night, I spent hours and hours reading through all of the news articles because I was in complete shock. Now, I am angry. As a Christian, yes, I do believe that Josh can be forgiven if he is truly sorry. However, I am extremely angry at Michelle and Jim Bob because they went on with the show after their entire family was suffering. Those girls were sexually abused. How could they have went on and coached them all to smile and act perfect after something like this happened? How could Michelle continue to keep having babies KNOWING that Josh had done such a serious crime and she NEGLECTED to protect her daughters?! I really wonder how she could sleep at night.

[princessjo1988]

I've been finding it really hard to deal with, too. Some of the girls statements could have been mine - word for word. Thankfully, I only had to live with my abuser for 3 years - I can't imagine how soul destroying any longer would be...

It's really strange timing for me personally as well. I had to go and apply for a new restraining order against my own offender . As part of that, I had to re-tell my own story quite a few times - so the release of the Duggar bombshell has really struck a chord with me - and left me feeling very drained. :| Those poor girls.

And the comments - gah! They make me so angry. : :angry-banghead:

[grandmadugger]

Depressed, sick, pissed, I've ran the gamut. I've obsessed over it. I've lost friends on FB over it. That one hurt at first, childhood friend, but I've come to realize that I don't need any friends who think JB and Michelle are good parents. I want to go get the kids and save them more than ever before. Those poor babies. I don't have kids of my own but I work with kids. You'd have to hold me back from beating the crap out of someone who hurt them. I'm mad that this is the face of my faith. That people like JB and Michelle are held in such high regard as Christians when they look nothing like what the example of Christianity I was taught.

I wanted them to fall out of popularity. I wanted there to be a chance for the kids to run. Now, they are getting more "the outside world is evil" than ever. The brainwashing is at an all time high I'm sure. A break from the cult may not be possible now. That's all I wanted, someone or all of them to get out of the cult.

[Nic]

I expected the molestation to get proven or something as bad to come to light. I'm guessing there are other heinous still hidden.

The language to describe it by Josh's defenders is irritating me. I don't understand that if they are saying what he did is already forgiven, then why is a vocabulary change needed? They say he was forgiven for his mistakes, and not he was forgiven for molesting little girls. Just call it what it is.

[ADoyle90815]

I felt the same way, and in my case, this was triggering because I was molested by a 14 year old male babysitter, basically the same age as Josh was when he molested his sisters. Unlike his victims, I had actual therapy to deal with the effects, but that doesn't mean that stuff like this won't be a trigger. At least I got to have the distraction of going to a local Renaissance Faire, and while they did a special thing for Memorial Day, it was a way to get away from the negative stuff and the sickening defenders of Josh. I did think the Duggars were creepy, but this was far worse than I had thought, as I was expecting something else to cause the show to be pulled. I still hope it gets cancelled since it would be a double standard on TLC's part to cancel Honey Boo Boo, but allow the Duggars to have a show even if they got rid of the molester.

[TheRaven72]

I felt the same way, and in my case, this was triggering because I was molested by a 14 year old male babysitter, basically the same age as Josh was when he molested his sisters. Unlike his victims, I had actual therapy to deal with the effects, but that doesn't mean that stuff like this won't be a trigger. At least I got to have the distraction of going to a local Renaissance Faire, and while they did a special thing for Memorial Day, it was a way to get away from the negative stuff and the sickening defenders of Josh. I did think the Duggars were creepy, but this was far worse than I had thought, as I was expecting something else to cause the show to be pulled. I still hope it gets cancelled since it would be a double standard on TLC's part to cancel Honey Boo Boo, but allow the Duggars to have a show even if they got rid of the molester.

It is telling that TLC has not officially cancelled it. One would think the crime against the victims alone would warrant a statement that addresses the victims and denounces the actions of Josh and JB and M by TLC. :snooty: :snooty: :snooty:

[drivingmishcrazy]

Wow, I thought I was the only one.

As much as I snarked on them, as venomous as I could be at times, and even though it didn't altogether shock me, I never wanted this for them. I knew about the rumors but figured it was just bullshit. I wanted them to just be bullshit. I've known survivors, I've seen what this can put a person through. It was like watching someone in their own personal hell even though you know they did nothing wrong, and watching them suffer knowing you can never understand what they've gone through and can do nothing except what they specifically ask of you. I wouldn't wish that on my WORST enemy, and it wasn't even me who suffered! So to see this unfold is very depressing and stressful just to think about. I can't fathom what the survivors who are members here are feeling.

I don't know how to describe it exactly, but I also feel horrible guilt that's eating me up inside. I know I don't know them, couldn't prevent it or protect them. I don't know if it's stemming from being close to survivors of abuse, but it's the kind of guilt that ends in me donating half my paycheck, buying things where the proceeds go to charity, and reciting the Lord's prayer... I'm not even religious.

Plus the fact that I was already depressed, stressed, and I'll before all of this, it's like it's magnified. I'm not even sure why it's bothering me beyond all of the reasons it SHOULD be, if that makes any sense?