Sex tips from the Duggar family

[doggie]

nothing really new but it is good this stupidity is out there getting made fun of.

http://pagesix.com/2014/09/24/sex-tips- ... 1411585650

Known for their conservative courtship rules — and ever-expanding family — the “19 Kids and Counting†crew knows a thing or two about sex — and they aren’t shy when it comes to offering advice on everything from getting busy with a spouse to finding a soul mate.

The family has had a big year when it comes to relationships. Parents Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar are expecting their fourth grandchild from newlyweds Jill and Derick Dillard, and they’re also busy planning 21-year-old daughter Jessa’s Nov. 1 nuptials to Ben Seewald.

However, they had enough time to weigh in with some sex tips.

1. You should always be available for sex.

[browncoatslytherin]

that is just...cringe-worthy. it made me kinda uncomfortable, and i'm definitely about as far from a prude as you can get.

[Toothfairy]

Getting married for lust just to have sex. Wtf?? Isn't a man suppose to make a women happy. To ensure she's satisfied. Be fruitful and multiply until your uterus falls out or you can't take care of the kids you created. Goldly women meaning have sex on demand,cook, clean, and be a baby making machine

[ADoyle90815]

One of the best comments someone on Facebook made about the Duggars/Quiverfull is "A vagina is not a Pez dispenser."

[CorruptionInc.]

One of the best comments someone on Facebook made about the Duggars/Quiverfull is "A vagina is not a Pez dispenser."

I also love the meme where it says "Vagina is not a clown car" and it's a Duggar family photo.

[toejamflipflop]

Next they will be putting out a new book about the ABC's of Christian Sex with a special video showing JimBoob trying to use Lego"s to illustrate simulated sex. The only thing is JimBoob is having trouble inserting A Lego into B Lego.

[doggie]

Should be Lego j in Lego m and hopfully not in Lego a.

[HarleyQuinn]

Every single quote I've read from Growing Up Duggar has been cringe worthy. And it all sounds like Michelle, I can't actually picture the girls saying some of these things. (Well, maybe Jill)

[crassy]

None of those are even really sex tips. And I pretty much disagree with all of them (other than the godly woman/godly man thing...I can't really comment on that because I've never had religion in my life but I assume that people who believe in god that strongly want a partner who shares those views and beliefs). I also take issue with the short engagement thing. It works for some but not for others.

As for the 'be available for sex all the time'...that really annoys me. Yes intimacy is important but some people have different sexual needs and wants and it should be a collective agreement. It also ignores (and I am not surprised given the 'tips' are from two of the dumbest people) people who are asexual or may have issues with sex. I may be married but my husband doesn't have a 'right' to my body whenever he wants.

Fuck these tips. They are just as bad as the bullshit printed by Cosmo et al.

[Free Them All]

These girls have zero knowledge of relationships with men. They are just regurgitating what they have been brainwashed to believe from Moochelle who got it from Jim Boob who got it from Bill Gothard and Gil Bates.....

[doggie]

They train their kids to never have wants or make their own choices and be servants. But then the man should be able to have sex whenever he wants no matter how his partner feels so he does not have to be a servant or have control. Any man who has sex wit ha woman who is not in the mood is a lousy human and a terrible lover that could ever really please his partner.

[socalrules]

So basically, a girl growing up in the fundy world does not have control of her own body and, when she gets married, she doesn't have control either. What scares me is that it basically gives a man the "right" to rape his wife because she is not allowed to say no. At no point in a fundy woman's life will she ever have a say as to what happens to her own body, yet most women, like myself, were raised with the "it's my body and you can't touch it unless I let you." I mean this is what we teach little girls.

[Snarkle]

I had a whirlwind courtship but a longer engagement - was engaged in less than four months after meeting my husband, but didn't get married until over a year after the engagement. We've been married 20+ years now. So it works for some.

I thought this was an excellent response to the article, and her rebuttlas/tips are spot on, especially the last one:

loveandknuckles.com/love-sex-advice-duggar-sisters/

And I am starting to think "US" magazine should be called "Them."

[Snarkle]

I had a whirlwind courtship but a longer engagement - was engaged in less than four months after meeting my husband, but didn't get married until over a year after the engagement. We've been married 20+ years now. So it works for some.

I thought this was an excellent response to the article, and her rebuttlas/tips are spot on, especially the last one:

loveandknuckles.com/love-sex-advice-duggar-sisters/

And I am starting to think "US" magazine should be called "Them."

[EmCatlyn]

They train their kids to never have wants or make their own choices and be servants. But then the man should be able to have sex whenever he wants no matter how his partner feels so he does not have to be a servant or have control. Any man who has sex wit ha woman who is not in the mood is a lousy human and a terrible lover that could ever really please his partner.

Yeah, but from the Duggar point of view, the problem is with the woman. She should ALWAYS be in the mood for her husband. :penguin-no:

[Valerie3kids]

With the mantra of "always be ready for your man" I don't think pleasing/pleasuring the female partner comes into play in the relationship at all. Wham, Bam, and probably not even a Thank you mam and he is "off" to other pursuits or sleep. I just can't see JB giving a rat's ass how Green Shirt feels about anything or if she is happy in any way. It is all about him. Period. If it weren't, we would have never seen the golf episode or the constant "she mowed the lawn in her bikini" crap from him. He would be respectful and JB doesn't have a respectful bone In his body. Except for maybe his hairspray.

[Imagine20]

Are there any tips for men? Is there any rule making sure the wife is satisfied and gets pleasure from her husband? It seems in Duggar world that all of the pressure is on the woman to be pure, fertile, happy, and available while the man has no responsibilities at all besides having lots of sex. Even if he cheats, it's her fault. He's not even required to have a job or provide for the family...God (or rather, whoever you beg to) will provide.

[nomoxian]

I also love the meme where it says "Vagina is not a clown car" and it's a Duggar family photo.

That meme was what introduced me to the Duggars!

[MarblesMom]

That meme was what introduced me to the Duggars!

But wait... if you wanted to know more about Pez dispensers : http://www.burlingamepezmuseum.com/

I have been there, and it is Pez-riffic.

[Karma]

Sex tips from jim Bob,? What else can I say, except to post this absolutely awesome emoticon which has been buried for a while.  Thankyou to fundie farmer for organising the emoticons and bringing it back to life.

[Destiny]

Sex tips from jim Bob,? What else can I say, except to post this absolutely awesome emoticon which has been buried for a while.  Thankyou to fundie farmer for organising the emoticons and bringing it back to life.

I love everything about this emoticon. THANK YOU @FundieFarmer!

[FundieFarmer]

I just love that emoticon! It was so fun to unearth so many...they made me laugh so hard!! 

[Crocoduck]

Not sure what this one is, but it's awesome!Thanks, FundieFarmer!

[Bethella]

Not sure what this one is, but it's awesome!Thanks, FundieFarmer!

I believe that is a drama-llama

[bucket]

Aside from actual thoughts about the content, all I can think of is that when one of my kids was little, they got a barf-sickness.  Woke up in the middle of the night and barfed right on us (family bed, full of woo, over it) and was scared of their own vomit so they crawled backward trying to get away from the evil vomit pain.  So they ended up crawling around vomiting and it was a shitshow and when I see the words "Duggar Sex Tips" I can understand the impulse to try like hell to get away from the vomit-thing and just actually getting barf everywhere.  It's just so nauseating to consider.