"Laying Down Your Life For Your Husband"

[Three and Done]

I found a lovely little "internet magazine"/blog today, and thought I would share it with all of you.

The blog is at godzgurlz.com. Here's a little something I found there:

"Laying Down Your Life For Your Husband" (Excerpts)

"If we say that we love our husbands, then the best way to prove that is to lay down our lives for them. This entails sacrificing anything for them, even if it is something we are holding on to so dearly. Sad to say, this is not what is happening. In fact the opposite is true. Most wives will never sacrifice their career, friends, family, hobbies, ministry, etc., even if their husbands are asking them to. They will say: “Well if he loves me then he will not take away something or someone that makes me happyâ€. Although this is true, it surely is not laying down one’s life for another.

God placed our husbands above us. They are our leaders whether they are good in leading or not. So if your husband tells you to give up something, for the good of your marriage, then you have to submit. Think of it this way. If your boss tells you to do something that you are not familiar with, will you be able to tell him or her that you don’t want to do it? Of course not! So how come it is not easy to do that when it comes to our husbands? I believe it is because of our non-submissive nature and our lack of understanding of what love is really all about.

What I want you, fellow help-meets, to realize is that if you want your husband to change, then you have to be willing to lay down your life for him. This is actually the key to effect any change. It’s not through your complaints ... not through your nagging ... not through your wishful thinking. Yes, your prayers will facilitate change, but only if you are willing to do your part, and that is to lay down your life for him.

If your husband is in sin, you better stop what you are doing and get down on your knees and pray until you see the change manifest. This may mean quitting your Bible study, your weekly coffee date with your friends, your gym, or whatever is needed so you can spend more time in prayer. This is what laying down your life for your spouse is all about.

If your mother or any family member is against your husband who you are one with, then you have to be willing to distance yourself from your own family. This is what laying down your life for your spouse is all about."

Great snark material all over this site. Enjoy!

[Irish13]

I can not even begin to describe the anger and disgust I feel after reading just a bit of that site.

[RachelB]

My first thought, looking at the title, was "What good am I to him if I'm dead?"

After reading a little further, I wanted to point out that the surest way to worry, frustrate, and pique The Partner would be for me to have no interests, personality, or opinion of my own. Also, he prefers direct communication to manipulation via prayer.

The pair of his hiking socks that's supposed to be washed inside out to prolong its life? He now turns them inside out before putting them in the laundry, because I asked him to and explained why. It was not a big deal.

The idea of fundie men that I get from reading posts like this one is that doing anything, other than what they do without any thought at all, would be such a big deal as to require divine intervention. How exhausting it must be, to bother God over every pair of socks!

[doggie]

these methods have been used since the beginning go time every abuse victim attempts it. guess what it does not work and why should it? I mean does god require a woman to miserable to die for him to change a husband? why would the husband change cause the wife gives into him? that just causes the problem to get worse.

giving into a bully will not make the bully go away this is the first lesson children learn in school.

[salex]

Oh look cabinetman in drag. Sorry that was my first thought when reading the wen excerpts.

[It'sFunToRun]

What stands out to me is the line "whether they are good at leading or not", which says to me that the author recognizes that men can be bad leaders and their wives can understand leadership enough to recognize that. That's different than the usual fun die view that all men are superior leaders because penis. This says that some men might suck at leadership, but the wife needs to submit anyway because Bible.

I think I like this view better because it's more honest; the penis = leader view strikes me as a way to try to sell fundamentalism to the heathens using "science" and "logic", since that's what the heathens like. Unfortunately, the apologists don't have a good understanding of what science and logic are.

[It'sFunToRun]

I'm disappointed that with regards to "husband living in sin", her only advice is to spend more time praying, and no concrete advice or examples on what to do. If my husband wants me to, g-d forbid, wear pants, do I obey him and participate in sin, or do I not submit like an evil feminist? Or do I just stay praying on my knees so I never get a chance to change clothes, thus side skirting the issue :D

[browngrl]

This is the first post I read on this blog(?)/magazine (?). godzgurlz.com/how-did-i-get-to-this-point.html#.U_xz8TloGfQ

This post is about a woman's struggle in her marriage . She has only posted part one so her solutions to her marital problems are not yet stated but in the post the behaviours her husband demonstrates are those of a man having a psychotic break. I have a fear that her solution will be to "pray, pray, pray" and not get that man to a psychiatrist for appropriate treatment.

I spoke too soon. Here is the second post I read: godzgurlz.com/the-unexpected-storm.html#.U_x1jDloGfQ

This time the poster seems to have suffered a major depressive episode - possibly with psychotic features. I wonder if every article is like this: some psychiatric disorder or pathology like the "manual for abuse" (as in the post the OP gave as an example). :?

[Curious]

I'm just glad that my husband isn't so fragile that not getting his way 100% of the time or asking him a question about a decision he's made etc, will destroy his ego and make it impossible for him to function from that point on. I certainly wouldn't want a man that fragile to be my leader or my husband or really in my life at all, because who has the time to be propping someone like that up 24/7. I'm an adult and want an adult partner as well.

Manly men who are only manly when a woman does everything they want without question or when a women is manipulating them, but they are apparently too dim to realize it....so hot! :roll:

[itsnotmeitsu]

This breaks my heart. It reduces marriage to "How high can you jump." And I am not a frog. What life is worth living if, in order to keep a husband, you have to give up whatever and whenever your husband requests? What part of "love, honor and cherish" is this following? Because if he doesn't have "cherish" me, why do I need to "forsake all others?"

[GeoBQn]

They also have Fake Jewish stuff thrown in there. Submission is NOT a Jewish value!

[Firiel]

Wait, I thought that men were supposed to lay their lives down for their wives, a la Christ for the Church and DPIAT and the Titanic illustration.

Man, even the one benefit women were supposed to get from this whole submission deal (men sacrificing stuff for us) is now kaput. But I guess it always was kaput (Ken and basketball, for instance). They are just being honest about it now.

[ariel9]

When I read the title of the thread I initially thought that it would be about a heroic gesture. Then I remembered that we are on FJ and we discuss the interworking of the minds of complete whackjobs. One thought that I had throughout the article is "But what is he giving up to make the marriage work". It seems really selfish and one sided to ask of your spouse to give up something yet the partner does nothing in return.Prayer in this instance seems to be just a passive response. What I'm trying to say is maybe your sign from God is this jerks awful behavior.

It also seems that asking your spouse to give up everything is a trademark of an abusive relationship. From what I have witnessed is that its a tactic to isolate you from people that actually care about you.

Also call me crazy but I believe in egalitarian relationships. Meaning that one spouse is not over the other.For crying out loud you are both humans. Like what puts a man above a woman? What can he do that I can't. I kill my own bugs, lift heavy objects, make my own money, and we can check out that strange noise together as far as I'm concerned. Is he above me because he can pee standing up or fly through the sky :roll: .

[turquoise]

So, if you're married, you have to give up things that are important to you, including your family, if your husband says so. You have to do whatever he says, even if he's wrong. Tell me again why any sane woman would want to get married?

[It'sFunToRun]

So, if you're married, you have to give up things that are important to you, including your family, if your husband says so. You have to do whatever he says, even if he's wrong. Tell me again why any sane woman would want to get married?

Otherwise the exact same thing except replace "husband" with "father". See Poor Sarah.

[docmom]

So, if you're married, you have to give up things that are important to you, including your family, if your husband says so. You have to do whatever he says, even if he's wrong. Tell me again why any sane woman would want to get married?

I guess the fundies have had such success turning people away from christianity that they now feel they can focus on marriage. Tell women they must be doormats and have gazillions of children with whom they can expect no help from their husbands. Tell men that they must marry said doormats with no outside interests, no ideas, no opinions and that they must make all decisions and you have a recipe for ending normal society's desire for marriage completely. The only folks who'll want to get married are teh gayz. Well done fundies!

[Mama Mia]

"If we say that we love our husbands, then the best way to prove that is to lay down our lives for them. This entails sacrificing anything for them, even if it is something we are holding on to so dearly. Sad to say, this is not what is happening. In fact the opposite is true. Most wives will never sacrifice their career, friends, family, hobbies, ministry, etc., even if their husbands are asking them to. They will say: “Well if he loves me then he will not take away something or someone that makes me happyâ€. Although this is true, it surely is not laying down one’s life for another.

Woah..... So she actually says that if her husband asks her to do any of these things he doesn't love her -- but to do it anyway???

I don't think she gets the whole servant leadership ideal she is trying to promote. At all.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Some of the articles make me think that something truly scary was going on.

Her husband Jason sounds delusional.

I suspect that the "Visionary Man" described by Debi Pearl is an unmedicated psychotic.

www.godzgurlz.com/being-married-to-a-vi ... _zbCGOmWt8

[Trynn]

I'm in agreement with the poster who said they thought this thread would be about how the writer would take a bullet for her husband. That would have been sweet and admirable. This isn't.

[Jasmar]

I'm just glad that my husband isn't so fragile that not getting his way 100% of the time or asking him a question about a decision he's made etc, will destroy his ego and make it impossible for him to function from that point on. I certainly wouldn't want a man that fragile to be my leader or my husband or really in my life at all, because who has the time to be propping someone like that up 24/7. I'm an adult and want an adult partner as well.

Manly men who are only manly when a woman does everything they want without question or when a women is manipulating them, but they are apparently too dim to realize it....so hot! :roll:

And there you have the evangelical Christian view of manhood in a nutshell. Though you're making it impossible for them to love you sacrificially by disrespecting them when you point this out. :angry-banghead:

[Jana814]

Otherwise the exact same thing except replace "husband" with "father". See Poor Sarah.

Agree w/ both of these posts.

[GeoBQn]

The use of z's on this website is making me stabby.

All of the articles have comment forms, yet I haven't come across a single comment on the site. I think the comment forms are just for decoration.