To My Future Husband

[Pearl]

So, I went on Pinterest and searched for "Dear future husband" and found a wealth of amusement. Some of my personal favorites:

"Dear Future Husband: I'm going to be relying upon your strength for the rest of my life. Is it okay if I start now?" :lol:

"Dear Future Husband: I just want to lay in bed and talk until three in the morning."

In reference to a picture of a male model: "Dear Future Husband: Please dress like this." :roll:

Also, the pictures that someone posted - my personal favorite was this one:

shock777.deviantart.com/art/DFH-no-25-402111780

[dairyfreelife]

http://www.pinterest.com/source/lovenot ... umblr.com/

no.4-yeah, keep dreaming. We all have things we don't like about someone else, no matter now much we care about them or love them. We put with them though because the good far, far, far outweighs any bad, so the bad is forgotten most of the time.

No. 21-lol, always love this. Yeah, sorry, but most men are not going to want to stay up in bed with you and just talk about anything until 3am once you are married. I am just gonna guess, but I imagine he will want sex and then probably sleep cause, you know, life, and that means stuff like, I dunno, jobs and cleaning and errands to do.

No. 39-i'm on my way, and I'm coming as fast as I can...I am sorry, I just :lol: Yes, my mind went straight there. And no, I'm not 12, why do you ask

No. 43-well that's not creepy to think about at all. :evil-eye:

[Mama Mia]

I am a bit freaked out by the stuff these girls are retweeting. Not exactly modest and Godly.

For example:

"It's A Guy Thing @ItsGuyThingss · 6h

Id fuck my teacher right now, in front of everyone. IDGAF"

and

"Party Problems @PartyProblemsP · 39m

Never regret it, just forget it and say fuck it"

and then we get

My Future Husband @FutureHusbandmy · May 23

Happy 12th anniversary to my wonderful parents. They teach me daily how true love is supposed to be ?

How old is this girl? Eight? Ten?

This is freaking me out. This must be children.

Just curious, I can see how the first two aren't what you would expect these girls to write- but don't understand what's strange about the wedding anniversary one? :think:

[Trynn]

I think the poster was pointing to the girls age? If the parents have only been married for 12 years, and in fundyville you must be married to have kids, then how old can these girls really be?

[salex]

One of the problems for fundies/evangelicals is that purity culture idealizes both marriage and sex and in the process leads people to believe that marriage is primarily about romance and sex. I told a single woman steeped in those ideas recently that the majority of marriage is not about sex at all and she looked at me with the worst look of disappointment I've seen in a long while and then concluded that I have a bad marriage. She was also disappointed to learn that we don't have candlelight dinners and didn't "gaze lovingly" at each other all evening on our first date.

I am an outlier, though, because I hate the whole "marriage is hard work" thing. For us, it isn't. Work is hard work. Home is home and our marriage is home not a job. And before you come tell me that we know nothing because we are too young or not married long enough or haven't gone through anything hard. Here's the run down: we were both past 30 when we got married five years ago, we've lost two jobs each since our engagement, we have struggled financially non-stop for the last four years, and have dealt with learning that I may lose my sight, and with caring for my parents because my mother has lost nearly all of hers and my dad has stage iv cancer. We've had plenty of troubles. But being together gets us through it and that is not something that requires work.

I tend to agree with you on the marriage not being hard work. In 2 weeks, we will celebrate 35 years of marriage, and it has not felt like work. Like you, there have been the same kinds of life isn't always fun moments, but the marriage part has been an oasis, not a struggle.

[Mama Mia]

I think the poster was pointing to the girls age? If the parents have only been married for 12 years, and in fundyville you must be married to have kids, then how old can these girls really be?

Thanks! Duh, I completely spaced on the marriage having to come before kids part! :embarrassed:

[twinmama]

"Dear Future Husband: I just want to lay in bed and talk until three in the morning."

My husband and I did this, for the first like month of our relationship. Tho it was more make out til 3am than talk. And we were in grad school, so we didn't have to get up 3 hours later for work. Since marriage, yeah no, the only reason we're up at 3am is if our kids are up. And any talking at that hour is like "blargh, its your turn, you go see what he wants!" "grumble grumble grumble" .

And that depending on his strength already thing sounds so codependent its insane. I understand leaning on your partner for strength etc, but way to take it to the millionth degree!

[2xx1xy1JD]

Re marriage is hard work:

I get what you mean.

Yes, I think that marriage requires "work", as in conscious effort and attention. Sometimes that comes naturally, sometimes it won't always be convenient and it will take effort carve out time for your spouse. It also requires some give and take - you can't sit back and imagine that a spouse will constantly serve you and never expect anything from you.

OTOH, I once went to a marriage lecture where the speaker started off by saying that marriage was hell. We pretty much tuned out everything after that, because we've never felt that it was hell for us.

[lawlifelgbt]

I agree that marriage is work, and sometimes it will be very difficult. My wife and I have rare and brief, albeit intense, arguments at times. There's usually some yelling and crying. However, the rest makes up for it. And as I think, better to "blow up" and get it over with. We don't hold grudges, and always apologize.

I also think if you really want a husband, don't make lists! Go out and socialize and make friends!

[Browneyed Girl]

So this is what I get for being crazy insanely busy with work and unable to get to FJ for 3, 4 (what day is it?) days. I was already to post the ditty below and you all got philosophical and serious on me!!!! LOL

So my tweet to my future husband..

Dear Hubby-Bruins game is about to start where r u with the beer and snacks? Or margararitas depending on how crappy my day was.

And since my day was not great I will be back in 15 minutes when I've made my drink.

[Trynn]

Thanks! Duh, I completely spaced on the marriage having to come before kids part! :embarrassed:

It's ok, no need for embarrassment. most non fundy people probably wouldn't jump to that conclusion either.

[RosyDaisy]

I never did any of letter writing to a future husband that I have never met. But, recently I have started slipping my fiancée him a little note in his lunch that starts with "To My Future Husband" pack telling him how much I love him (nothing naughty....just romantic), and he likes it. He makes his own lunch 99% of the time, though. I only make it if he's running late, and he does the same for me.

[Rebelwife]

I never did any of letter writing to a future husband that I have never met. But, recently I have started slipping my fiancée him a little note in his lunch that starts with "To My Future Husband" pack telling him how much I love him (nothing naughty....just romantic), and he likes it. He makes his own lunch 99% of the time, though. I only make it if he's running late, and he does the same for me.

I was doing the crossword yesterday and one of the clues was "future husband". It actually took a minute before I realized they wanted "fiancé" because I was trying tho think of something snarky. :lol:

[Marianne]

Okay... I'm a little ashamed to post it, but when we were 16, we have write a letter to our futur husband, with my friends...

"dear futur husband,

First, I hope you understand how lucky you are to have me (and how modesty is not my first qualities.)

Here some of the thinks that you need to have to marry me :

- monney (we were teenager who never had monney... XD)

- A car (haha, little city dwelling tired to walk 4,9 miles by day to go to high school ! And now, I don't have car et don't need it...)

- No parents. If you are orphan, that's better. Except if your parents have a lot of monney.

- a big dick. But not too big. But not little (we were 16...)

- a good tong, and I hope that you know how to use it. Cunnilingus are the secret of a healthy couple life (again, we were 16...)

- Of course, we will have the same political ideas. You can be a socialist, but the better would be a communist. Don't even think to vote for a right pary. (I always think that, haha.)"

This girl and us don't have the same idea of the perfect husband...

[roddma]

Being raised church of Christ,I had in my mind I wanted a husband who didn't smoker, didn't drink, never cussed, who never was married before, hopefully virgin. Well, let's say it didn't work out like that. Oh well. We have been married almost 16 years. Anyway I think it is crazy in the 21st century the emphasis placed on marriage and having a SO like you cannot exist without them. I thought gettign marriage and having a partner was the most important thing in life. It's fine if your paths lead to that, but you should be prepared if they don't. More people choose to stay single these days.