Don't touch yourself! You might wind up spiritually wounded

[samurai_sarah]

Can't embed for some reason so: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fw5jEp3ZwR0#t=120

The video was apparently produced by BYU-I students, and it manages to be boring, hilarious and mildly offensive at the same time- they took it down, so this is a mirror. To recap: It is possible to get addicted to porn (no argument here), if your friends don't make sure that you aren't wanking, it's bad (uhm, ew?), and then you might wake up in WW2. WW2, because of the uniforms. But even if I'm wrong, I'm not sure whether to applaud them for finally going there and being so pro-life that a wank is killing, or just feel mildly offended that they used war imagery in a video against masturbation. :roll:

[Anny Nym]

What, no mention of wanking-induced blindness and spinal marrow athropy? I´m disappointed! :lol:

[samurai_sarah]

What, no mention of wanking-induced blindness and spinal marrow athropy? I´m disappointed! :lol:

You forgot the hairy hands. :lol:

[Anny Nym]

Gosh, you are right - how could I forget the https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SK1PHgBi7qY? :lol:

[artdecades]

you know, i don't want to be that person that finds homoerotic undertones in everything, but there were a lot of homoerotic undertones in the way those two guys looked into each others eyes across the room.

[samurai_sarah]

you know, i don't want to be that person that finds homoerotic undertones in everything, but there were a lot of homoerotic undertones in the way those two guys looked into each others eyes across the room.

You are far kinder than I am. Personally, I hoped it was going to turn into porn. No such luck, alas. :cry:

[16strong]

Ugh. I couldn't even make it past a minute, that was so bad. What goes through people's heads when they make things like this?

[sparkles]

You know, if people redirected all of the time and effort they waste on shit like this, we could have achieved world peace, cured cancer, ended hunger, reversed global warming (which doesn't exist anyway :roll: ) and started colonizing space by now. Sheesh.

[doggie]

You are more likely to commit spiritual damage by not masturbating. All that sexual energy has to go somewhere and it can not be pretty.

[dairyfreelife]

You are more likely to commit spiritual damage by not masturbating. All that sexual energy has to go somewhere and it can not be pretty.

I think we see that in all those fundie young men who freak the hell out at the mere idea that women have breasts or any sort of shape to their body.

[yetanothermeg]

You know, if people redirected all of the time and effort they waste on shit like this, we could have achieved world peace, cured cancer, ended hunger, reversed global warming (which doesn't exist anyway :roll: ) and started colonizing space by now. Sheesh.

Funny, my husband just said the same thing.....about all the time I spend on FJ :D

[Mecca]

Because I have a bit of a naughty sense of humor, I could not help but laugh at one of the YouTube comments. A youtuber by the name of Ricky Cohen posted "I masturbated to this." :lol:

[yetanothermeg]

Because I have a bit of a naughty sense of humor, I could not help but laugh at one of the YouTube comments. A youtuber by the name of Ricky Cohen posted "I masturbated to this." :lol:

LOL! There is a whole gay ex-Mormon subgroup that really finds guys in their garmies very hot. I found a website selling replicas awhile back.

[Trynn]

Wait, so, if I masturbate, I get to time travel back to WW2?! Awesome! I am so totally gonna do that, then hide some Jews and gays in my outwardly Christian and nazi home.

Goes off to masturbate

[ThisOlGirl]

Wait, so, if I masturbate, I get to time travel back to WW2?! Awesome! I am so totally gonna do that, then hide some Jews and gays in my outwardly Christian and nazi home.

Goes off to masturbate

I'm wondering if WWII is the only option. I would really like to masturbate back to the 70's so I can catch a Led Zeppelin show.

[lilith]

I'm wondering if WWII is the only option. I would really like to masturbate back to the 70's so I can catch a Led Zeppelin show.

I want to masturbate all the way back to the 1810s, but that's probably a lot of masturbating. I don't want to get chafed or anything.......

[docmom]

Can you masturbate into the future? I've always wanted to be the chief medical officer on a Federation starship. That's 3 centuries though and, yeah, the chafing could be an issue.

[Hane]

You are far kinder than I am. Personally, I hoped it was going to turn into porn. No such luck, alas. :cry:

Good grief. Mormons are supposed to be so pro-heterosexuality and pro-chastity. How could anyone NOT see the burgeoning, pulsating bromance at the end of this vid?

[tankgirl]

We need grants to test these theories of masturbatory time travel, the amount of lube needed might need a great deal of funding!

[Anny Nym]

Hmmm, I don´t know about future-travels, but according to to popular time travel theory, I f you want to go back in time you just have to fap faster than lightning speed :mrgreen:

[doggie]

We need grants to test these theories of masturbatory time travel, the amount of lube needed might need a great deal of funding!

And batteries don't forget those.

[tralala]

I love how this is only an issue for guys as well. Although if you grow up as a sexually repressed Mormon girl, I would guess that you're either completely ignorant of the concept or had it coached out of you from an early age.

At least when my youth group discussed the topic, we were given material that acknowledged it was a thing girls do as well. We were then told masturbation would lead to completely unfulfilling marriages and sex lives. It was all our fault...never the other partner's.....;)

[Trynn]

So, I need to masturbate at the speed of light to time travel? Ugh. I'm gonna have to buy a stronger/faster vibrator.

[ADoyle90815]

So, I need to masturbate at the speed of light to time travel? Ugh. I'm gonna have to buy a stronger/faster vibrator.

That, and batteries in bulk.

[Trynn]

That, and batteries in bulk.

Maybe I should just buy one that plugs into the wall?

How loud is a light speed vibrator anyway? Are my housemates going to hear this?