Debi and Rebekah's Poem-Enjoy

[debrand]

nogreaterjoy.org/articles/then-and-now-reinforcements-coming-you-are-that-mighty-army/

Rebekah wrote the first poem in 1996 and the second is her mom's attempt to update her work.

Reinforcements Coming

By Rebekah (Pearl) Anast

There is a mighty army

Being trained to stand and fight,

A battlefield of soldiers

Learning what is right.

A Company of warriors

That will boldly take the word

To every tribe and nation

Till every soul has heard.

There is a mighty army,

I’ve seen them everywhere;

Most are wearing diapers

And dragging Teddy Bears.

Infants in the training,

Drilled in right and wrong,

Mom and Dad are making

Soldiers brave and strong.

There is a mighty army

Trained in righteous war,

Cheer them on to victory,

Children of the Lord!

NOW (2014)

You Are that Mighty Army

By Debi Pearl

There is a mighty army

Now trained to stand and fight,

A battlefield of soldiers

Who has learned what is right.

A Company of warriors

Ready to boldly take the Word

To every tribe and nation

Till every soul has heard.

You are that mighty army,

We’ve watched you being trained;

You’ve been given God’s glorious armor,

Now go in Jesus’ name.

“Preach†was Jesus’ last commandment,

The very heartbeat of God

Is giving folks the gospel

That’s why Jesus bled and died.

Millions are still waiting,

They’re just a click away;

Give to them the gospel

Do it—today!

[gustava]

:disgust:

[JesusFightClub]

Rebekah's poem is shite, but it's actually better than her mum's. Which is so shite that words have not yet been invented to describe its shiteness.

It's difficult, writing pomes and that. We know. But can Debi make up her mind if she wants it to rhyme or not?

There is a mighty army

Now trained to stand and fight,

A battlefield of soldiers

Who has learned what is right.

Has they? That are special. This rhyme also only works if you pronounce soldiers as "soul-DEE-yuhs" and put the emphasis on "has". Please don't do that.

A Company of warriors

Ready to boldly take the Word

To every tribe and nation

Till every soul has heard.

What the fuck is "boldly" doing there? No, seriously. That actually damaged my brain when I tried to read it out loud, because it's the linguistic equivalent of a brick thrown in front of a police car. "Boldly" ruins what semblance of rhythm you had going on, and what's worse, it's not even necessary - we presume a company of warriors is going to do stuff boldly. We don't actually need that pointed out to us.

You are that mighty army,

We’ve watched you being trained;

You’ve been given God’s glorious armor,

Now go in Jesus’ name.

Imagine this read out.

"You ARE that MIGHTY army

We've watched you being trained

You've been given [ohfuckohfuck I lost the....oh shit how do I make this rhyme now] Godsglorious AR-HEE-MOR

Now GO in JESUS NAME"

Not very good? Yeah. Your poem is not very good.

“Preach†was Jesus’ last commandment,

The very heartbeat of God

Is giving folks the gospel

That’s why Jesus bled and died.

As Orwell said, words and meaning have now parted company.

Why try to make things rhyme or use a sense of rhythm if you're just going to give it up as a bad job halfway through? It makes your poem look like something an eight year old has struggled over.

I despair.

[Chowder Head]

Why do I feel like I need to stomp and clap . " We are mighyt mighty tithers" woooo

[Anise]

I guess Debi's homeschooling wasn't all fun and games and no real textbooks; Rebekah picked up on some sense of rhyme and rhythm that certainly did not come from her mother.

And I thought my teen-aged doomed attempts at poetry were bad. :ew:

[Trynn]

How old was Rebecca in 1996?

If she's as old as I was (7), this might not be as bad as it seems...

That last poem... Is just bad.

[lilith]

How old was Rebecca in 1996?

If she's as old as I was (7), this might not be as bad as it seems...

That last poem... Is just bad.

She would have been in her mid to late teens

[Miggy]

Is anyone else here an Adrian Plass fan? He does a great comedy sketch on Christian poetry and how writers get so carried away with the rhyme they forget about meaning.

God speaks wisely

God speaks sternly

God speaks ... ummm ... aaargh ... to those who live in Burnley.

(Sounds better when he performs it of course.)

Debi's poem is exactly this! Rebekah I'll give a pass - slightly undereducated teenager trying to express her religion in poetry is a recipe for disaster.

[Trynn]

She would have been in her mid to late teens

Ok. I wrote a lot of awful poetry in my mid teens, but by the time I hit around 17-18ish, I stopped.

I might give Rebecca a bit of a pass, but not her mom who should know better.

[thoughtful]

Rebekah's poem is shite, but it's actually better than her mum's. Which is so shite that words have not yet been invented to describe its shiteness.

You said it, sister.

The writing is even more offensive than the message, which is saying a lot, coming from me!

And now, Debi gives some inspiration to a caterer's waitstaff:

There is a mighty army

Now trained to stand and carry stuff,

A battlefield of servers

Who has learned what is food.

A Company of warriors

Ready to boldly take the grub

To every big round table

Till every tummy's full.

You are that mighty army,

We’ve watched you being aproned;

You are clad in black pants and a white shirt,

Now fix your tie and go.

“Serve†was the boss's last commandment,

The very point of work

Is giving folks their dinner

That’s why the chef did cook.

Dozens are still waiting,

They’re just a walk away;

Give to them the roast beef.

Do it—today!

[Anise]

There is a mighty army (just one?)

Now trained to stand and fight, (but not trench warfare?)

A battlefield of soldiers (is a battlefield some unit of measurement?)

Who has learned what is right. (all the soldiers on the battlefield? Not just the one side- oh my god, the other side are civilians!)(*have- unless of course the battlefield is being anthropomorphized)

A Company of warriors (kind of a come down from an army, eh?)

Ready to boldly take the Word (and to boldly split infinitives)

To every tribe and nation (that's quite the empire)

Till every soul has heard. (with their soul ears)

You are that mighty army, (is it "till every soul has heard you are that mighty army?")

We’ve watched you being trained; (Santa?)

You’ve been given God’s glorious armor, (now I know whom this army kills- poems)

Now go in Jesus’ name. (Jesus' or Jesus's? Think hard)

“Preach†was Jesus’ last commandment,

The very heartbeat of God ("Preach. . . preach. . . preach. . . preach. . ." "You may want to see a doctor about that")

Is giving folks the gospel

That’s why Jesus bled and died. (but why did this poem bleed and die?)

Millions are still waiting,

They’re just a click away; (a click or a klick?)

Give to them the gospel

Do it—today! (Oh look, the rhymes are back. They say if you end strongly enough, people forget the fiddly bits in the middle. You didn't)

Also, why an army? Why chose a violent metaphor?

I was going to do a funny poem about a literal army, but then I got distracted by grammar. Sorry, thoughtful. I can't follow your lead.

[salex]

There is a mighty army (just one?)

Now trained to stand and fight, (but not trench warfare?)

A battlefield of soldiers (is a battlefield some unit of measurement?)

Who has learned what is right. (all the soldiers on the battlefield? Not just the one side- oh my god, the other side are civilians!)(*have- unless of course the battlefield is being anthropomorphized)

A Company of warriors (kind of a come down from an army, eh?)

Ready to boldly take the Word (and to boldly split infinitives)

To every tribe and nation (that's quite the empire)

Till every soul has heard. (with their soul ears)

You are that mighty army, (is it "till every soul has heard you are that mighty army?")

We’ve watched you being trained; (Santa?)

You’ve been given God’s glorious armor, (now I know whom this army kills- poems)

Now go in Jesus’ name. (Jesus' or Jesus's? Think hard)

“Preach†was Jesus’ last commandment,

The very heartbeat of God ("Preach. . . preach. . . preach. . . preach. . ." "You may want to see a doctor about that")

Is giving folks the gospel

That’s why Jesus bled and died. (but why did this poem bleed and die?)

Millions are still waiting,

They’re just a click away; (a click or a klick?)

Give to them the gospel

Do it—today! (Oh look, the rhymes are back. They say if you end strongly enough, people forget the fiddly bits in the middle. You didn't)

Also, why an army? Why chose a violent metaphor?

I was going to do a funny poem about a literal army, but then I got distracted by grammar. Sorry, thoughtful. I can't follow your lead.

They go with army because they "put on the armor of God" and they are planning for a "Culture War" and their quivers are full of arrows for the fight.

Because they have to make being a Christian a battle and a struggle, or it isn't any fun for them.

[thoughtful]

I was going to do a funny poem about a literal army, but then I got distracted by grammar. Sorry, thoughtful. I can't follow your lead.

You did just fine -- you made grammar correction funny!

I hang my head in shame, that I, a Star Trek fan from way back, didn't even notice one of the most famous split infinitives in entertainment history. :embarrassed:

I should amend my opus to say:

"To boldly take the grub

Where no grub has gone before."