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Contentment No Matter What!


debrand

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I believe in having a good attitude; however, this writer takes the idea of having a good outlook and makes it something dangerous.

PRESCRIPTION FOR CONTENTMENT:

Never allow yourself to complain about anything – not even the weather. (Philippians 2:14, Ephesians 4:29, Numbers 11:1-4, James 1:2-4, Proverbs 17:22)

Never picture yourself in any other circumstances or someplace else. (Philippians 4:11-12)

Never compare your lot with another’s. (Isaiah 53:7, Matthew 7:1-2)

Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise. (Numbers 11:1-4, 1 Corinthians 10:9-10, 1 Thessalonians 5:18, Ephesians 5:20, Psalm 103:2)

Never dwell on tomorrow - remember that [tomorrow] is God’s, not ours. (Romans 12:2, Romans 15:13, Colossians 3:15)

This advice would prevent someone from leaving an abusive home life or ever wanting to improve their life. How the hell do you never complain and what would be the advantage of doing so? Sometimes venting and complaining actually helps me see a problem more clearly. I don't want contentment if it means that I can never dream.

jessconnell.com/

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Never picture yourself in any other circumstances or someplace else. (Philippians 4:11-12)

That reminds me of when Jinger longed for a big city and big sister put her back in place to which Jinger replied 'I must work on my contentment" I believe contentment is a good thing, but it doesn't mean never improving yourself or you are wrong for wanting better.

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So many of these fundies seem to make almost a fetish of the idea of being content at home. You MUST be content at home, not leaving the house, you're supposed to just want to be "nesting" 24/7, there's never the idea of "hey, I want a change of scenery and a restrictive environment for a change so I will head out to the coffeehouse with ONLY the book I am studying, so I can concentrate" or anything like that even.

Then it gets extra weird when you raise a daughter this way on your homestead in the middle of absolute nowhere, for 20+ years, and then all of sudden you marry her off and she has to move with the new husband to a NEW STATE.

I'll admit I think that continuing to compare yourself with options that are no longer available to you is counterproductive - but that certainly doesn't mean you need to be satisfied where you are. Just evaluate the moves you can possibly make from where you currently are on the board, is all.

Take Jinger. If she longs for the big city, that's still totally doable for her. If she were free, she would be able make concrete moves toward making a life in whatever city she wants. It's not worth moping over not being a concert pianist at this point maybe, but oh, I want to live in Chicago? Totally doable.

...these people drive me batty.

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Fundies don't value balance in their lives. They manage to turn good, general rules(like be nice to your spouse) into some sort of weird absolute rules that instead of being helpful are actually harmful.

A positive outlook can make life better. When the military sent my husband overseas, I tried very hard to keep negative thoughts out of my mind. His going overseas was not something that I could change and complaining would make everyone miserable including myself. However, the reason that I have been slowly building up college classes is because I stayed home with children for several years and would like to work outside the home in a job that isn't retail. I am discounted because it is time to move onto a new phase of my life not because I am a horrible, ungrateful person.

It takes experience to discover when you should make the best out of life and when you should make plans to change it but fundies don't encourage that kind of life experience because it is messy and includes making mistakes

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this is about control. it is easier ton control if you you have no wants or needs or anything that god does not provide. also you would be questioning god and what he thinks is right for you.

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i tend to be a pretty relentless positivist, Im pretty good at looking for the silver linings and my entire life appears to have been a series of hard work and commitments to difficult tasks - to thole it through exams, health issues degrees, poor situations, financial difficulty, etc - and try and make the best of it and not lose myself/my joy in life in the process, i think i am reasonably good at being contented and not beaten down by dissatisfaction

but that doesnt mean you shovel sugar on shit just so you can choke it down, you cant convince yourself life is great when its not (speaking to you SSM & Lori!) you have to be honest with yourself at least.

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i tend to be a pretty relentless positivist, Im pretty good at looking for the silver linings and my entire life appears to have been a series of hard work and commitments to difficult tasks - to thole it through exams, health issues degrees, poor situations, financial difficulty, etc - and try and make the best of it and not lose myself/my joy in life in the process, i think i am reasonably good at being contented and not beaten down by dissatisfaction

but that doesnt mean you shovel sugar on shit just so you can choke it down, you cant convince yourself life is great when its not (speaking to you SSM & Lori!) you have to be honest with yourself at least.

*nods*

Also, there's a huge difference between looking for the silver linings in your own life and looking for them in other people's lives, as self-styled advice givers like SSM and Lori do. A dear departed man at the church I attend talked with great fervor about how the most hurtful thing his fellow Christians ever did to his faith was to try to find A Deep Meaning in his wife's drawn-out and painful death. After 20 years, he was still (understandably) pissed about it.

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That reminds me of when Jinger longed for a big city and big sister put her back in place to which Jinger replied 'I must work on my contentment" I believe contentment is a good thing, but it doesn't mean never improving yourself or you are wrong for wanting better.

Also reminds me of Sarah Maxwell. I remember one of her posts she was talking about how she lacks gratefulness. Gee I wonder who put that silly idea in her head?

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Never allow yourself to complain about anything – not even the weather. (Philippians 2:14, Ephesians 4:29, Numbers 11:1-4, James 1:2-4, Proverbs 17:22)

There's something else here, which is that talking/complaining about the weather, the post, your job etc is a bonding experience between people who don't know each other very well.

A: "Oh, you're soaking! Is it raining again?"

B: "Absolutely pelting it down. I was so glad to get in here."

A: "I bet you were. Do you know, it's supposed to stay like this until the weekend? I mean overcast and raining off and on..."

B: "Oh no! My niece is getting married at the weekend! I hope she's been watching the weather forecast.."

...And so forth. It's a way of talking for people who aren't well acquainted and want to be polite to each other.

If you can't complain (even faux-complain for the sake of keeping a conversation going) you are actually making it very difficult for people to talk to you naturally. Mind you, I suppose that's a fundie goal.

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