Have Fun Now Cause You're All Going To Hell!

[debrand]

I just thought you' d all like to know that your probably going to hell so you might as well have some fun now.

 

I guess I better get rid of my golden Oprah statue.

 

What is Theistic Evolution? How do I know if I'm guilty if no one tells me what it is.

 

 

Quote

Such man-made religions include, but are not limited to: Roman Catholicism, Mormonism, Jehovah's Witness, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, Atheism, Agnosticism, Oprah-ism, Oneness Pentecostalism, Baptismal Regeneration, Pelagianism, Open Theism, Darwinianism,Theistic Evolution. Ecumenism and Pluralism, the Social Gospel Movement, and the Emergent Movement (at least the segment of the movement that follows the teachings of the likes of Rob Bell and Brian McLaren).

 

Like Satan, each of the above religions claim to know the truth and most of them (again, like Satan) twist the Truth of God's Word to satisfy their own selfish, arrogant desires to create a false god in their image--to create a false god in their own sinful imagination that is not sovereign, but rather is subservient to the follower.

 

edited because I forgot the link. Doh

 

http://www.onthebox.us/

[MonkeyMomma]

Oprah demands a sacrifice!!

[keen23]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't ALL religions man-made? I mean, I don't see horses or tomato plants going around inventing religions.

Oprah demands that her followers all wear Spanx! She has spoken, and thus it shall come to pass.

[higgledypiggledy]

Just wondering where you got the quote. I wonder what religion this person professes. I'm confident it is some sort of fundy, but which sort?

[Guest Anonymous]

debrand - I think Theistic Evolution is the belief that evolution happened, but under God's guidance and according to his will.

Apparently it's Young Earth Creationism or the FIERY PITS OF HELL. Charming.

[ElphabaGalinda]

I'm considering converting to Oprah-ism. Any advice on the perfect sacrifice for her Holiness? And how do I properly worship the alimighty Oprah if she's gone off the air? :D I lack the funds to get the O network, so would it be acceptable to ask for donations?

[debrand]

Just wondering where you got the quote. I wonder what religion this person professes. I'm confident it is some sort of fundy, but which sort?

Doh. I thought that I put the link into the first post.

http://www.onthebox.us/

It's from Tony Miano's site, On The Box. He is a friend of Ray Comfort's and I am pretty certain that they are both Calvinists.

[cjsmom]

What if my collection of Buddhas were mostly from friends? Does that mean I'm going to hell? I also have a thing for baking cupcakes, and I have cupcake ornaments (but these were all gifts!) all over my house too? Can anyone tell me which collection I should get rid of first?

[kpmom]

What if my collection of Buddhas were mostly from friends? Does that mean I'm going to hell? I also have a thing for baking cupcakes, and I have cupcake ornaments (but these were all gifts!) all over my house too? Can anyone tell me which collection I should get rid of first?

Well you can send any baked cup cakes to me. I'll, uh, "dispose" of them for you (mmmmmm cupcakes).

[clibbyjo]

My MF hell dog pooped and peed in my BEDROOM while I was gone dropping off and picking up sleepover kids. I went grocery shooping on 3 hours of sleep and have another sleepover tonight. If that doesn't show I am already IN HELL then nothing will.

And I know there is no hell, so I am not worried.

[contrary]

I'm considering converting to Oprah-ism. Any advice on the perfect sacrifice for her Holiness? And how do I properly worship the alimighty Oprah if she's gone off the air? :D I lack the funds to get the O network, so would it be acceptable to ask for donations?

put up a paypal button, and raise money to give all of us FJers a gift basket of your Favorite Things. I think this would work.

[cjsmom]

Well you can send any baked cup cakes to me. I'll, uh, "dispose" of them for you (mmmmmm cupcakes).

You're too kind! Thank you!

[doggie]

What I don't understand is the catholic version of Christianity was about the first version out there. everything else came after. Did I miss something when god came down to earth and made the version that is real after he killed off Jesus?

Is this not what they are doing ?

Like Satan, each of the above religions claim to know the truth and most of them (again, like Satan) twist the Truth of God's Word to satisfy their own selfish, arrogant desires to create a false god in their image--to create a false god in their own sinful imagination that is not sovereign, but rather is subservient to the follower.

[O Latin]

Doh. I thought that I put the link into the first post.

http://www.onthebox.us/

It's from Tony Miano's site, On The Box. He is a friend of Ray Comfort's and I am pretty certain that they are both Calvinists.

So John Calvin wasn't a man!?!? Dang, we never covered that in my Reformation History class. It probably would have been a lot more interesting if we had. :roll:

[Buzzard]

WHEW, I'm safe as a jew!

Um... catholicism is older than other forms of chrisitanity. The fundies are just offshoots of the original catholic teachings and the catholics wrote the bible and determined what was in it... so...

[doggie]

love this part

As I stated on the show, something that is partially true is entirely a lie. And such is the case with every religion in the world that is contrary to biblical Christianity and the Word of God.

so since the bible has contradictions in it it can't be all truth so it must be false?

[Terrie]

"Darwinianism"? How many suffixes can they stick on there?

[Aurora]

What if my collection of Buddhas were mostly from friends? Does that mean I'm going to hell? I also have a thing for baking cupcakes, and I have cupcake ornaments (but these were all gifts!) all over my house too? Can anyone tell me which collection I should get rid of first?

Don't worry, you can bake cupcakes in hell! It's hot; probably great for baking! :twisted:

I had to look up ecumenism, but it means trends toward greater Christian cooperation! Great, they are against Christian unity and cooperation... :roll:

[blisterine]

put up a paypal button, and raise money to give all of us FJers a gift basket of your Favorite Things. I think this would work.

what would go in a basket for a fundy family? mason jars, pot holders for all the girls and a blog so they can get the "message" out?

[maybeizfundie]

I didn't know Theistic Evolution was a religion.

I'm doomed.

[jockosmom]

As others mentioned above, Catholicism predates the onthebox folks' version of Christianity. Their version wouldn't exist if Catholicism had not become a world religion to begin with. These people have such a black-and-white view of everything! They also seem to have no sense of history or how things evolved (I know . . evolved - a dirty word) to get us where we are today. I think Jesus' disciples and the followers who constituted the first Christian congregation would laugh their asses off at some of these holier-than-thou fundies.

[lilwriter85]

As others mentioned above, Catholicism predates the onthebox folks' version of Christianity. Their version wouldn't exist if Catholicism had not become a world religion to begin with. These people have such a black-and-white view of everything! They also seem to have no sense of history or how things evolved (I know . . evolved - a dirty word) to get us where we are today. I think Jesus' disciples and the followers who constituted the first Christian congregation would laugh their asses off at some of these holier-than-thou fundies.

I totally agree. These fundies are very stupid and they will never realize or admit the real reason why their version of Christianity is an existence.

[Guest Anonymous]

Don't worry, you can bake cupcakes in hell! It's hot; probably great for baking! :twisted:

I had to look up ecumenism, but it means trends toward greater Christian cooperation! Great, they are against Christian unity and cooperation... :roll:

They prefer to see us all at each other's throats. The better to wade in and mop up after us.

[Nothing2CHere]

Oh good, I'm safe too - he only singled out Roman Catholicism, not Byzantine Catholics or any of the other off-shoots of the other Catholic rites: http://www.mncuf.org/rites.htm :banana-angel:

[Alecto]

If hell is full of FJites, who wants to go anywhere else?