Three Types of Funding Writing Styles

[GolightlyGrrl]

I think we can agree here at FJ that a lot of fundie blogs contain atrocious writing, and I'm not only talking about their loathsome content, filled with hatred and bigotry. I think a lot of blogs are just horribly written, and wouldn't past muster in a high school composition class. Because I care, I came up with three fundie writing styles. Here they are. Let me know what you think:

1) The Bratty Teenage Girl's Diary-Vapid, vacuous and amateurish, these bloggers write hugely self-absorbed, conceited tripe that show no awareness outside of their narrow worlds. Kelly "2 Chicken Breasts" Crawford writes in this style. So does Lyndise and Whiny Lady (forgot her name).

2) The "I Only Wish They Were Nutty" Professor-With pretensions of intellectual authority and artistic inclinations, these blogger write long-winded and pompous screeds trying to give their hateful rhetoric of dash of educated heft. The Stinking Lousewife is the perfect example of this.

3) The Mad Person in the Attic-These people are positively bat shit. They throw out crazy ideas and hateful posts like a child smearing his or her own feces on a wall. These bloggers are barely coherent but you definitely they're pissed off about something-feminists, gays, President Obama. Sunshine Mary is and example of this. And so is PP when he gives one of his sermons.

[CynicMom]

I love it! I'd also add, maybe as subcategories:

1. The Humble-Brag - "I'm a sinner who has made lots of mistakes. Now that that's out of the way let's talk about how awesome and Godly I am!"

2. The One-N-Done - "Here's a full page of Biblical argument. I only need one Bible verse to back this up. Be sure to not look at the verses before or after the one cited!"

[GolightlyGrrl]

I love it! I'd also add, maybe as subcategories:

1. The Humble-Brag - "I'm a sinner who has made lots of mistakes. Now that that's out of the way let's talk about how awesome and Godly I am!"

2. The One-N-Done - "Here's a full page of Biblical argument. I only need one Bible verse to back this up. Be sure to not look at the verses before or after the one cited!"

I love it. You can find these sub-categories in pretty much all three of styles I listed. Alte over at Traditional Christianity has humble-brags down to a science, especially when it comes to her so-called good looks. She'll say something like, "Looks-wise, on a scale on 1-10, I'm probably a five or six, but guys are always hitting me, telling me I'm attractive."

[kpmom]

1) The Bratty Teenage Girl's Diary-Vapid, vacuous and amateurish, these bloggers write hugely self-absorbed, conceited tripe that show no awareness outside of their narrow worlds. Kelly "2 Chicken Breasts" Crawford writes in this style. So does Lyndise and Whiny Lady (forgot her name).

Miss Raquel, and the blogger who whined about the fat person photo bombing her picture both fit nicely in this category.

[meda]

I would also include a catagory for the disciples of Ann Voskanp. Bored SAHM's with delusions of literary grandeur who write in an overwrought, new-agey style with center justified text. Also guilty of weird metaphors and verbing their nouns.

[merrily]

Lousy Housewife deserves her own category. And so does Zsuzsu.

[Maggie Mae]

Lori is a combination of one and three, IMO

[GeoBQn]

I would add the "SOTDRT" Graduate style--comes across like it was written by a first grader, with grammar and spelling errors, and the same sentence style over and over again.

[jaynie]

I would add the "SOTDRT" Graduate style--comes across like it was written by a first grader, with grammar and spelling errors, and the same sentence style over and over again.

Possibly a subset of this -- the "trapped": the Sarah Maxwell style, wherein absolute mundanities are a "blessing", everything is "Sweet", and the sorrow and desperation of the blogger is palpable.

[kaetrin]

I would also include a catagory for the disciples of Ann Voskanp. Bored SAHM's with delusions of literary grandeur who write in an overwrought, new-agey style with center justified text. Also guilty of weird metaphors and verbing their nouns.

Not to mention nouning their adjectives.

I don't think I would put Kelly and Miss Raquel in the same category with each other, though.

[Jezebel]

I would also include a catagory for the disciples of Ann Voskanp. Bored SAHM's with delusions of literary grandeur who write in an overwrought, new-agey style with center justified text. Also guilty of weird metaphors and verbing their nouns.

Oh, god--Ann Voskamp. I remember hearing about what an incredible writer she was, and thought I'd check her out. I found a chapter of her book online, read it--ugh, WTF, people. Her style is so overwrought and so obviously calculated for dramatic effect that I wanted to smack her for being so goddamned pretentious. The bloggers who try to emulate her style (Fauxkamp?) just make me feel all stabby inside.

[snuggles911]

Lori is a combination of one and three, IMO

Maybe there could be a Passive Aggressive Fundie category for her.

[crazyforkate]

Blog post about it, Golightly?

[RachelB]

Where would the woman living in the church basement and straining weevils out of her flour fit? (Joanne, I think?)

[AVENues]

Love the humble brag. :lol: "I used to be stuck up but now just I'm perfect!"

[2xx1xy1JD]

There's also the Lori and Treasures from a Shoebox passive-aggressive "I'm married to an absolute asshole but decided to be submissive so I better be going to heaven, and I'm going to tell all the other girls to have relationships that are just as dysfunctional".

[RachelB]

There's also the Lori and Treasures from a Shoebox passive-aggressive "I'm married to an absolute asshole but decided to be submissive so I better be going to heaven, and I'm going to tell all the other girls to have relationships that are just as dysfunctional".

Can we put Debi Pearl in that category? Any time I read anything she has written, Michael Pearl sounds like an even bigger jerk.

[dilannsmom]

Love the humble brag. :lol: "I used to be stuck up but now just I'm perfect!"

Crazy Candy and Erica *smile, beam, chuckle, gag, vomit* are both poster girls for this Their "not everybody is as far along in the Christian walk as I am" always makes me gag. To translate: I am better than you and know more than you do. If you don't do it my way you are wrong and are going to hell.

Uugghhhh...

[2xx1xy1JD]

Can we put Debi Pearl in that category? Any time I read anything she has written, Michael Pearl sounds like an even bigger jerk.

Yes, you may. Revised to add that taking out your life frustrations by beating your kids into submission is part of this style as well.

[NurseNell]

"Funding writing style" doesn't mean fundie writing style. I expected to read about ways to write up funding requests.

[wtylcf]

Oh, god--Ann Voskamp. I remember hearing about what an incredible writer she was, and thought I'd check her out. I found a chapter of her book online, read it--ugh, WTF, people. Her style is so overwrought and so obviously calculated for dramatic effect that I wanted to smack her for being so goddamned pretentious. The bloggers who try to emulate her style (Fauxkamp?) just make me feel all stabby inside.

I love your take on Voskamp. I have previously suggested calling the common blogger affliction whereby they mimic their heroine, "Ann Voskampitis," but "Fauxkamp" has a nice ring to it.

[Miranda]

I had never heard of Ann Voskamp until now, so I headed over to Amazon to read a sample of One Thousand Gifts. I was rolling my eyes before I even finished the first sentence. This dreadful book was a NYT besteller?

I just listened to a sample on Audible, and it's even more treacherous hearing it read aloud than it is to read it in print.

[GolightlyGrrl]

"Funding writing style" doesn't mean fundie writing style. I expected to read about ways to write up funding requests.

Ha, ha! When I step into a riffle I really step into one, don't I. And it's rather embarrassing when I'm admonishing fundies for their writing style. I think I was reading too many emails about the fund raising my church is involved in. Yikes!

As for a blog post, CrazyforKate? Well, I have thought about it, but it may have to weight. I'm working on a several writing projects outside of my FJ realm, and tomorrow I'm working short-term gig for a local company for the rest of the week and into next week. I used to write a feature at my old blog called WTF Files. Perhaps I can start this new feature at our blog. I'm really appreciating everyone's comments about fundie writing styles.

And Ann Voskamp? Oh dear God (said in a Frasier Crane voice).

[GolightlyGrrl]

Ha, ha! When I step into a riffle I really step into one, don't I. And it's rather embarrassing when I'm admonishing fundies for their writing style. I think I was reading too many emails about the fund raising my church is involved in. Yikes!

As for a blog post, CrazyforKate? Well, I have thought about it, but it may have to weight. I'm working on a several writing projects outside of my FJ realm, and tomorrow I'm working short-term gig for a local company for the rest of the week and into next week. I used to write a feature at my old blog called WTF Files. Perhaps I can start this new feature at our blog. I'm really appreciating everyone's comments about fundie writing styles.

And Ann Voskamp? Oh dear God (said in a Frasier Crane voice).

Oy, the riffles are strong with this post. So sorry. I think the bad fundie blogs I'm reading is starting to affect my writing skills.

[formergothardite]

Miss Raquel, and the blogger who whined about the fat person photo bombing her picture both fit nicely in this category.

Of a Single Heart also falls into the Humble-Brag category.