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Am I a fundy? (Feel free to snark!)


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I have been a FJ lurker for over a year, and finally joined. I want to hear you expert snarkers opinions on my lifestyle.

I was raised Independent Baptist. I graduated from a Christian school and a Christian college. My boyfriend also went to the college, and as you probably can guess, the rules were uber-strict. No touching, no dating without chaperones, etc. we ended up sleeping together. And I was kicked out of my parents' home, forced to leave because I wanted to marry him. We got married in a church ceremony, but none of my family attended. For a while we still attended church but now we no longer go. I still believe in God, I still pray, I even still mostly wear skirts because that's what I'm most comfortable in. I wear pants sometimes. We don't have kids because of fertility issues but we're working on that. We watch Hollywood movies :twisted: and I work a full time Job outside the home. My husband and I have separate bank accounts, and he does not control my money. I listen to his opinions and he listens to mine, then we make decisions together.

So my question is, am I a fundy still? Am I abnormal? Where do I fit in here?

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Are you expecting fj to get shirty with you for praying and wearing skirts? The info you've provided places you with some of our snarkiest, anti-fundieest posters.

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Are you expecting fj to get shirty with you for praying and wearing skirts? The info you've provided places you with some of our snarkiest, anti-fundieest posters.

Agreed. I wear skirts too and no one would ever call me a fundie. Feel free to discuss why you left, though 8-)

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Key questions to ask yourself to see if you're a fundie (and there are probably more):

-Who controls your uterus? You? The government? God?

-Is it okay for women to decide for themselves to get an education and/or go to work in the career of their choice?

-Is public education a place where political agendas are espoused, or is it about giving children the best education possible?

-Do you submit to your husband? Should you? Should other women?

-Is it okay for someone to attend a church that's different from the one you would choose to attend? Is it okay if someone chooses not to go to church?

-Is your government elected because of God's will, or Satan's temptations?

-Who decides if you should own a gun? God and/or founding fathers who envisioned a nation under God, or government policy and law (no disrespect to the US constitution implied here)?

-Did God give you your preferred parking space, or hotdogs on sale, or a short lineup at Starbucks?

Asking us here if you're a fundie isn't really the way to go, as there is not always a clear definition, hence the term fundie-lite that's used here. I have met people who consider themselves to be fundamentalist Christians, whereas I wouldn't even classify them as fundie-lite. It's a very subjective term. It's easy to identify the extreme fundies - the Zsu's, Steve's, and Jim-Bobs (among others) of this world, however beyond that there are many possibilities along the fundie continuum.

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Why were your parents so opposed to your wedding and marriage?

Because we had sex when we were dating. I won't go into details about how they found out, but suffice to say it was because I was a naive trusting young girl who thought the pastor of our church had my best interests at heart. I found out otherwise too fast. My parents have since changed their tune and now love my husband, but it was quite an emotional time for me.

The reason we don't go to church anymore is because of pastoral abuse...in more than one church. Knowledge brings power, and when you confide in a pastor and the next week he's preaching about your sins from the pulpit, it isn't fun. My husband will never go to any church again because he's been betrayed by too many church leaders.

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:doh:

Closest I could find to a full-on facepalm or headdesk.

Are you face palming me? It seems like I've done what we hope Jinger and others would do and left the movement. I'm just curious as to what your comment refers to.

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I'll add some qs:

-are women full citizens? should the rights of fully independent adult citizenship be guaranteed to them regardless of marital status? (private ownership of land and property, voting, I.D., access to public life and control of all these things)?

-do children have rights independent of their parents' beliefs/preferences?

-evolution?

-the Bible - literally true?

I'm assuming from your post that your answer to these and other questions would have you leaning to the non-fundie side, and I'm not asking you to answer me. Just sharing some possible areas to think about yourself.

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Why do you need a bunch of strangers to tell you if you're fundy?

Are you happy? Are you living life on your own terms? That's all that matters.

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I have been a FJ lurker for over a year, and finally joined. I want to hear you expert snarkers opinions on my lifestyle.

I was raised Independent Baptist. I graduated from a Christian school and a Christian college. My boyfriend also went to the college, and as you probably can guess, the rules were uber-strict. No touching, no dating without chaperones, etc. we ended up sleeping together. And I was kicked out of my parents' home, forced to leave because I wanted to marry him. We got married in a church ceremony, but none of my family attended. For a while we still attended church but now we no longer go. I still believe in God, I still pray, I even still mostly wear skirts because that's what I'm most comfortable in. I wear pants sometimes. We don't have kids because of fertility issues but we're working on that. We watch Hollywood movies :twisted: and I work a full time Job outside the home. My husband and I have separate bank accounts, and he does not control my money. I listen to his opinions and he listens to mine, then we make decisions together.

So my question is, am I a fundy still? Am I abnormal? Where do I fit in here?

Standard right-leaning mainstream Christian?

I don't know. I'd need more info-- do you want to legislate an end to gay rights, abortion, contraceptives, divorce? Do you have a long term plan to convert the government to a theonomy? The most militant, political fundies I know all were standard American Baptist (some have drifted rightward), wear pants and shorts, dance, drink and look mainstream USA. However, they want to ban the teaching of much science, look sideways at set theory, desire for evolution to be changed out to teach a literal, 6 day , 24 hour day creation, don't think that religious liberty was meant to extend beyond the walls of christianity, and maybe not all christian thought is christian enough to be protected, etc. They would seem, at first glance, far more fundie than you. But I'd have to know more to be sure.

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Why do you need a bunch of strangers to tell you if you're fundy?

+1 and what I should have outright said

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Why do you need a bunch of strangers to tell you if you're fundy?

Are you happy? Are you living life on your own terms? That's all that matters.

Lol I think you misunderstand. I'm happy in my life for sure. I still have some conservative ideas but I've come a long way from who I used to be. I didn't realize everyone on these boards were strangers. I thought this was a community. I don't need others opinions on where my life should be headed, but as a new FJ-er, I wondered where I fit in.

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Lol I think you misunderstand. I'm happy in my life for sure. I still have some conservative ideas but I've come a long way from who I used to be. I didn't realize everyone on these boards were strangers. I thought this was a community. I don't need others opinions on where my life should be headed, but as a new FJ-er, I wondered where I fit in.

If you haven't answered your question yet, maybe you want to rephrase it as, "Do you think I grew up fundy?" But you really should be able to answer that question yourself.

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Lol I think you misunderstand. I'm happy in my life for sure. I still have some conservative ideas but I've come a long way from who I used to be. I didn't realize everyone on these boards were strangers. I thought this was a community. I don't need others opinions on where my life should be headed, but as a new FJ-er, I wondered where I fit in.

We have a whole spectrum of people here. Why don't you post responses to threads and give your opinion. You'll find out quickly where you fit in.

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Why were your parents so opposed to your wedding and marriage?

Maybe her parent's felt disrespected or unworthy since they did not follow normal protocol. Forgiveness does not seem to be an ideal.

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Lol I think you misunderstand. I'm happy in my life for sure. I still have some conservative ideas but I've come a long way from who I used to be. I didn't realize everyone on these boards were strangers. I thought this was a community. I don't need others opinions on where my life should be headed, but as a new FJ-er, I wondered where I fit in.

I understand the question. I lurked for a long time before joining, and what I like about FJ is that atheists and christians and pagans and jews and others cooexist. But it's weird if you grew up fundy, because fundies are all about belonging to this one special group and everyone outside the group are horrible, sinful wolves out to steal your soul! Don't trust them! They hate you!

It can be hard to go from that mindset to one of "hey, cool, whatever, just be prepared to take some criticism."

For the record, I'm an atheist and I wear skirts exclusively. I have one pair of fleece pants for walking the dog on particularly cold days. :D

Also, I now apparently enjoy hand sex. :lol:

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Just because a man is born in a stable that doesn't make him a horse.

It might make him an ass, though.

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I have been a FJ lurker for over a year, and finally joined. I want to hear you expert snarkers opinions on my lifestyle.

I was raised Independent Baptist. I graduated from a Christian school and a Christian college. My boyfriend also went to the college, and as you probably can guess, the rules were uber-strict. No touching, no dating without chaperones, etc. we ended up sleeping together. And I was kicked out of my parents' home, forced to leave because I wanted to marry him. We got married in a church ceremony, but none of my family attended. For a while we still attended church but now we no longer go. I still believe in God, I still pray, I even still mostly wear skirts because that's what I'm most comfortable in. I wear pants sometimes. We don't have kids because of fertility issues but we're working on that. We watch Hollywood movies :twisted: and I work a full time Job outside the home. My husband and I have separate bank accounts, and he does not control my money. I listen to his opinions and he listens to mine, then we make decisions together.

So my question is, am I a fundy still? Am I abnormal? Where do I fit in here?

Whatever brought you here, for whatever reason you decided to come here, bother to register and start talking honestly without trolling, there must be a reason. I'm happy that you are here even if it won't change your life. (It will to a certain extent.) You have your own belief system but you are open to talk to a whole bunch of people and dipped your toes into a quiver full of - however, sweet - sharks.

I agree with Buzzard, do talk about yourself. Your open mindedness is a good sign to me. I so want to believe in people. I do, until they totally bum me out, but you're far from that and I'm curious about you. :)

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I have been a FJ lurker for over a year, and finally joined. I want to hear you expert snarkers opinions on my lifestyle.

I was raised Independent Baptist. I graduated from a Christian school and a Christian college. My boyfriend also went to the college, and as you probably can guess, the rules were uber-strict. No touching, no dating without chaperones, etc. we ended up sleeping together. And I was kicked out of my parents' home, forced to leave because I wanted to marry him. We got married in a church ceremony, but none of my family attended. For a while we still attended church but now we no longer go. I still believe in God, I still pray, I even still mostly wear skirts because that's what I'm most comfortable in. I wear pants sometimes. We don't have kids because of fertility issues but we're working on that. We watch Hollywood movies :twisted: and I work a full time Job outside the home. My husband and I have separate bank accounts, and he does not control my money. I listen to his opinions and he listens to mine, then we make decisions together.

So my question is, am I a fundy still? Am I abnormal? Where do I fit in here?

I guess I'm confused by the title: " Am I a fundy? (Feel free to snark!)".

Yes, it does smack of a member who is no longer here.

A. Why does it matter what anyone here thinks or how others might perceive you?

B. This is not a Hive Vagina. There is no "everyone;" rather, this place is a collective of thousands of different people with varying backgrounds, beliefs and lifestyles.

C. Why are you inviting "snark"? It sounds to me like you're begging for attention.

If you want to participate here, go ahead. But don't expect so much personal attention. Sure, I've shared some of my issues and received support, but I don't need to be validated here. I also don't ask to be judged. That's what my family's for!

PS - You introduced yourself here five weeks ago. Why the sudden need to be evaluated??

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Lol I think you misunderstand. I'm happy in my life for sure. I still have some conservative ideas but I've come a long way from who I used to be. I didn't realize everyone on these boards were strangers. I thought this was a community. I don't need others opinions on where my life should be headed, but as a new FJ-er, I wondered where I fit in.

I would say that if you don't think women are not allowed to think, make a decision, work, are just walking uteri relegated to house chores and passive sex, and you aren't afraid of teh gayz then you fit in.

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