Arranged Marriages on Anderson's daytime show

[dawn9476]

Anderson's show on Tuesday is going to explore arranged marriages. Not sure if it is going to involve religious families.

[Undesigned]

Interesting, Fundie courtships seem to fill in the gap, if not sometimes blur the lines between arrange marriages and dating [towards marriage].

[Inky]

I hope it's not a puff piece. Some balance showing both sides would be good. I won't be home to watch, unfortunately.

[debrand]

I think that if both individuals are adults who have seen the world and lived independently of their parents, it is possible for an arranged marriage to work. The key is that the couple has the experience to make an informed decision about whether they will marry or not.

If a person is young, inexperienced or dependent on their parents', they don't really have the freedom to say no. They might not even know that they can refuse the marriage

I hope that Anderson does a good job of showing the issues around arranged marriage.

[YPestis]

As long as it's between two consenting adults, I don't see any issues. I don't believe adult children need to live independently of their parents in order to cultivate their own interests or to make an informed decision. In many cultures, it's common for for adult children to live with their parents until marriage. This is extremely common in countries where housing is expensive and couples live at home to save money to buy their own place. I've heard of people who had arranged marriages who like that. They see dating as a painful and tedious process. Some even believe that parents should absolutely be involved to filter out the inappropriate prospects.

I think the idea that dating and finding someone needs to be done independent of parental involvement is a cultural, and relatively modern concept. Most people naturally want to make their own decisions without interference, but a prudent adult will want to seek out advice from those that walked the path before them.

[MadameX]

I also think that people from these cultures and families have a very different expectation of marriage and of their spouse. It's more about stability and mutual desire to participate in their culture or community, particularly through raising children to continue their beliefs and customs. I feel like it's probably less about grand, passionate, romantic love or finding your soul mate or BFF.

I could be wrong. It will be interesting to see.

[dawn9476]

The arrange marriage show was last Tuesday. I didn't see it because I forgot to DVR it. This week his show is in reruns.

[polabear]

My husband works with a number of south asians, and most of the men have arranged marriages. They seem really happy - a lot of them plan on returning to India, and had their family find brides who would want to return as well. They also seemed to have a lot of contact before they were married, usually via email and skype (since the prospective wife was generally in India still). I don't know how the wives feel - a lot of them have fairly limited english, and spend a lot of time with their families and children back in India.

[deelaem]

I saw this last week. It wasn't very good. It was only part of the show and he barely scratched the surface of the topic. The only good part was when Deborah Feldman, a former Hasidic Jew, talked about what she went through. I've got her book on my wish list. But while the piece wasn't quite fluff, it didn't really go into any kind of depth, either.