Modesty madness

[JesusFightClub]

I know you guys have addressed this a zillion times and I blush to start it again. But the modesty thing? What the living fuck. It amazes me every time.

Followed the link to Brandy's Brood and lo and behold, there's a modesty post.

So what does modesty look like in our home?

In our home, that means skirts/dresses below the knee. Preferably mid-calf so it's below the knee when we sit as well. For added modesty, our girls wear shorts or something under their skirts/dresses. It means no backless dresses or shirts. We prefer our shirts show no shoulder. And tops are 2-3" above the chest area, so that cleavage isn't exposed

Let's make sure our daughters are demure, yet pretty, covered up and submissive. Because that's been proven to never ever ever turn a man on yet. :doh:

How can they even reconcile this in their heads? Is a man who goes home and has a wank over a meeting with a girl who was dressed as modestly as any fundie mother could desire especially perverted? Or do they really think that men will only be sexually attracted to "bad girls" showing skin?

Do they honestly think dressing like a classic trope and behaving as submissively as possible stops men fancying them?

[antifundie]

I think they actually do believe it.

Maybe I'm just weird, (or since I live it the PNW, where it rains and thus dress accordingly) don't most people only wear backless dresses to fancy events and/or when it's really hot outside?

I just think it's weird when parents say the equivalent of "We don't let our kids wear thigh high boots, pasties, stockings, booty shorts, or string bikinis"--I mean, how often do you see a 5 year old dressed like that?? Plus, if I DID (aka, Toddlers and Tiaras) I see it as non-age appropriate, not sexual.

[Elaine]

When I was attending an IFB church, I heard the pastor complain about women's shoes. Apparently, "toe cleavage" is a big problem for men. Who knew?

[emmyfair]

I think they believe that men will go after women who show skin, but will "reverence and treasure ladies" that dress in their prescribed version of modesty. I think they all still believe a man wants "a bad girl to bed and a good girl to woo" ... but this is such a totally limited thought pattern, just like everything fundies think.

[Chrystal-J]

When I was attending an IFB church, I heard the pastor complain about women's shoes. Apparently, "toe cleavage" is a big problem for men. Who knew?

I was just gonna ask about that. What about men with a foot fetish? Should women wear combat boots to address that? :?

[loveandwar]

When I was attending an IFB church, I heard the pastor complain about women's shoes. Apparently, "toe cleavage" is a big problem for men. Who knew?

I...don't even know what to say to that. :confusion-scratchheadyellow:

[TVR]

I know on the ATI survivor website/blog/FB Page (can't remember which) there was a girl who told that one year they couldn't wear sandals because of the fathers admitted to Gothard that he had a foot fetish. Someone else confirmed it.

Everything is about context. We are fundy-ish and I do believe in modesty BUT when it is about not attracting attention to your body, and then you dress in a way that makes people stare, it kind of defeats the object. What is out of place in the workplace, is not necessarily out of place at the beach!

[Crackedeggs]

I was just gonna ask about that. What about men with a foot fetish? Should women wear combat boots to address that? :?

This makes me remember a creepy guy in a van who followed me one sunday morning, and asked me, as he idled up the street by the sidewalk where I was walking, if he could smell my shoes. I was wearing dirty old sneakers.

So by that logic, women should not have feet.

[GenerationCedarchip]

I have to laugh whenever I see modesty posts. This is due in large part to the number of guys I knew in college who found these modest dresses a bigtime turn-on. Apparently wondering what's under that frumper gets some guys going. :twisted:

[defrauding]

Should women wear combat boots to address that? :?

But that's a fetish as well!

Short of wearing a head-to-toe clown costume and makeup, women just can't avoid... *does a search on Google* never mind.

[Katiebug]

When I was attending an IFB church, I heard the pastor complain about women's shoes. Apparently, "toe cleavage" is a big problem for men. Who knew?

Dare I ask what the heck "toe cleavage" is?

I seriously think some fundies would prefer burkhas on their women if it wasn't for that pesky Muslim connotation...

[Elaine]

Dare I ask what the heck "toe cleavage" is?

It's how the little lines between your toes peek out in some shoes. Apparently, some men find this sexy. Our pastor said it made men think of REAL cleavage.

But I think some men just love feet.

[DamnPrecious]

Yeah, I've heard of to cleavage being a "stumbling block".

I think the fundies are trying find a way to make different kind of burqa. I would not be surprised if this happens.

[clarinetpower]

It's how the little lines between your toes peek out in some shoes. Apparently, some men find this sexy. Our pastor said it made men think of REAL cleavage.

Hmmm... with that logic, people with curly hair should shave their heads or wear a habit (CATHOLICK!!!!1!!) or a turban (HINDU!!!!1!!), because the girls might make the poor little mens think of The Pubes. :shock:

Puh-leaze. :roll:

[Elaine]

the girls might make the poor little mens think of The Pubes.

:lol: :clap: AH hahahahahah...that is the funniest thing I've heard all day! Thanks for that!! :lol: :clap:

[liltwinstar]

Can I just say that my life got a hell of a lot better when I stopped giving a rat's ass about what strange men thought of my clothes? I spent my entire teenage years is baggy sack dresses and frumpers, feeling miserable about myself and my body and trying to hide.

Now that I can get dressed without worrying about it? So much better, I can't even tell you. I wear what I like, and it turns out that I dress fairly conservatively anyway - for example, today I'm wearing a tunic-length shirt and wide legged trousers. I'm comfortable (and appropriate for my job) and I think I look cute and that's all that matters. I can get on with my day and my life. When you make women obsess about every bit of toe cleavage and keep them busy measuring how many inches from their collarbone their neckline falls, they don't have time to think about the bigger things in life - like the fact that their pastors are full of sh*t.

[Chrystal-J]

This makes me remember a creepy guy in a van who followed me one sunday morning, and asked me, as he idled up the street by the sidewalk where I was walking, if he could smell my shoes. I was wearing dirty old sneakers.

So by that logic, women should not have feet.

I had a cab driver tell me I could get half fare if he could touch my ankles. :shock:

[Chrystal-J]

But that's a fetish as well!

Short of wearing a head-to-toe clown costume and makeup, women just can't avoid... *does a search on Google* never mind.

:lol:

I should of known the answer to that question as I love leather boots on a man. Not to the level of a fetish, but I like 'em.

[Elaine]

I spent my entire teenage years is baggy sack dresses and frumpers, feeling miserable about myself and my body and trying to hide.

Same here, only it was my 30's. Since I stopped wearing the big baggy dresses, I've had to lose weight as well, which greatly enhances the self-image. It's really easy to get fat under all that frumpiness.

[MamaJunebug]

There's a snapshot online that's said it all, IMHO, about the relative standards of modesty for girls and boys in extremism.

A girl sits in an armchair, her knees drawn up to her chin and her long nightgown pulled securely all the way over her feet. In front of her, a boy lays on his back on the floor, arms over his head and legs in the air; he's wearing a t-shirt and wide-legged pajama shorts.

Were we standing in front of him, I'm sure we could "see everything" (one of the dreaded pronouncements of Teh Modesty Police).

And yet the adults not only took the snap but blogged it.

Need I mention that the girl looks as pensive and constrained as her pose suggests, and the boy ... well, he's pretty carefree.

ETA my first thought when I read about "toe cleavage" being "a stumbling block" -- I imagine that even more than providing distinctively non-Islamic burqas, the people who fret about modesty would prefer that women simply and consistently and eternally STAY HOME. Think of the problems solved! :rolleyes:

[JesusFightClub]

TOE CLEAVAGE??????????????????????????? WHAT

No words for that one. I *do* wear combat boots so haven't a lot of experience with men staring lustfully at my toes. But surely the logical conclusion of this is that if anything a woman could possibly do might arouse a man, she has to stop doing it. And, as men can get aroused by *anything* even the presence of a woman, women need to commit suicide en masse.

How can any woman stay in a movement which so obviously hates her?

[demgirl]

I've always wondered -- why is it that pants draw attention to a woman's lady parts and take away from the countenance, but don't do the same to a man? I know for some fundies, the argument is the Bible says men should dress as men do and women as women do (which, taken literally, I personally think means that the fundies should dress the way their respective gender did in Biblical times, but that's another story), but some of them argue against pants on girls b/c they are "immodest", which I just don't get. Pants don't show anything on a girl that they don't show on a boy.

[JesusFightClub]

Pants don't show anything on a girl that they don't show on a boy.

Totally, and unless we're talking hot pants or camel toe issues, show far LESS on a girl than they would on a boy! So surely this is the most modest style of dress.

[Sola]

But that's a fetish as well!

Short of wearing a head-to-toe clown costume and makeup, women just can't avoid... *does a search on Google* never mind.

Rule 36 by any chance? Rule 36

[Avalondaughter]

If just showing the base of your toes is a stumbling block, they must really hate the Duggars' flip flops.