We got Jesusweeners!

[clibbyjo]

Last night I helped give out candy to the trick or treaters at the Halloween party we were attending. I had 2 girls,one had a big picture of Jesus taped to her robe and the other was dressed similar. I said to Jesus girl "cool costume, are you a saint?" and she said yes!. I asked the other who looked like an angel if she was an angel and she said she was St. Phillipina(?) or something like that. I told them both cool and take two pieces of candy and Happy Halloween. (we are all dressed up and there was a fog machine and a witch on the porch so it was obvious what we were celebrating).

I came in and told the moms what the girls were for costumes and we decided we had real life Jesusweeners in our mist! Anyone else?

[keen23]

Probably Saint Philomena...she was one of those child saints who were murdered for their faith. The Emperor Diocletian fell in love with Philomena (who was all of 13) wanted to marry her, but because she was a pure and pious child, she said no. So then he tortured her, tried to drown her and had archers shoot at her- all in vain, because she had some angels for best buddies who protected and healed her on the spot. Finally, the Emperor said "Fuck this, this is way too much work just to get laid" and had her decapitated, which even the magical angels couldn't heal. But no one knew anything about her until 1802, when they found some bones and blood in the catacombs.

[PennySycamore]

We got no Jesusweeners at our house. Heck we didn't get any trick-or-treaters at all. My weinerweener refused to wear her hot dog costume, too. She slipped right out. I need to fix that.

[Deleted02]

Probably Saint Philomena...she was one of those child saints who were murdered for their faith. The Emperor Diocletian fell in love with Philomena (who was all of 13) wanted to marry her, but because she was a pure and pious child, she said no. So then he tortured her, tried to drown her and had archers shoot at her- all in vain, because she had some angels for best buddies who protected and healed her on the spot. Finally, the Emperor said "Fuck this, this is way too much work just to get laid" and had her decapitated, which even the magical angels couldn't heal. But no one knew anything about her until 1802, when they found some bones and blood in the catacombs.

What the hell?? I've never heard of this.

[keen23]

What the hell?? I've never heard of this.

I paraphrased the story for brevity, but it captures the basics of Saint Philomena. There are tons of Catholic Saints with strange stories. Saint Philomena is the patroness of a bunch of things, including virgins, babies, sterility and the Children of Mary. Oh, and supposedly Saint Philomena visited some nun, and she told her the miraculous tale of her martyrdom.

[clibbyjo]

Yup, that was the one. I don't remember the other one, I had too much XXX moonshine by that point. :/

[defrauding]

Yup, that was the one. I don't remember the other one, I had too much XXX moonshine by that point. :/

I bet the little trees you were painting at that point didn't look very happy... or very much like trees at all.

Also, Purim's several months away, but I'm totally dressing up as St. Sebastian thanks to this thread. Time to hit the gym!

[Boogalou]

I got a little girl and her brother who gave me one of those stupid million dollar bill tracts, which pissed me off. I knew what it was and took it from her but if her parents had come to the door and been the one to give it out, I would have said "no thanks". Way to use your kids to try and convert people. Grr...

[Soldevi]

I bet the little trees you were painting at that point didn't look very happy... or very much like trees at all.

Also, Purim's several months away, but I'm totally dressing up as St. Sebastian thanks to this thread. Time to hit the gym!

O-kay. Now I am defrauded by the thought of it...mmm... But good choice, though I personally would freeze in March wearing a kitchen towel :D

[Daenerys]

O-kay. Now I am defrauded by the thought of it...mmm... But good choice, though I personally would freeze in March wearing a kitchen towel :D

Clearly no one here has ever heard of The Ecstasy of St Theresa!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/St_Theresa_in_ecstasy

I saw in his hand a long spear of gold, and at the iron's point there seemed to be a little fire. He appeared to me to be thrusting it at times into my heart, and to pierce my very entrails; when he drew it out, he seemed to draw them out also, and to leave me all on fire with a great love of God. The pain was so great, that it made me moan; and yet so surpassing was the sweetness of this excessive pain, that I could not wish to be rid of it. The soul is satisfied now with nothing less than God. The pain is not bodily, but spiritual; though the body has its share in it. It is a caressing of love so sweet which now takes place between the soul and God, that I pray God of His goodness to make him experience it who may think that I am lying

If that's not an orgasm then I'm a banana.

[keen23]

One of my other favorites is Saint Fina- she became paralyzed by illness, and decided to lay on a table instead of a pallet, because her faith was taking away her pain. She lingered for so long, her body became attached to the table, and rats and worms feasted upon her decaying flesh- mind you, she was still alive. Both of her parents died during the five years that she lingered on the table. Finally the spirit of St Gregory the Great visited her, and said she'd die on his feast day, so she did. When they took her body off the table, white violets started to bloom in the wood.

If that's not an awesome story, I don't know what is.

[fundiefun]

Probably Saint Philomena...she was one of those child saints who were murdered for their faith. The Emperor Diocletian fell in love with Philomena (who was all of 13) wanted to marry her, but because she was a pure and pious child, she said no. So then he tortured her, tried to drown her and had archers shoot at her- all in vain, because she had some angels for best buddies who protected and healed her on the spot. Finally, the Emperor said "Fuck this, this is way too much work just to get laid" and had her decapitated, which even the magical angels couldn't heal. But no one knew anything about her until 1802, when they found some bones and blood in the catacombs.

:shock: All because she wouldn't marry the tool. It reminds of me how fundie men hate being told no.

[Deleted02]

I don't know anything about the saints so thanks for enlightening me!

[ladypuglover]

Last night I helped give out candy to the trick or treaters at the Halloween party we were attending. I had 2 girls,one had a big picture of Jesus taped to her robe and the other was dressed similar. I said to Jesus girl "cool costume, are you a saint?" and she said yes!. I asked the other who looked like an angel if she was an angel and she said she was St. Phillipina(?) or something like that. I told them both cool and take two pieces of candy and Happy Halloween. (we are all dressed up and there was a fog machine and a witch on the porch so it was obvious what we were celebrating).

I came in and told the moms what the girls were for costumes and we decided we had real life Jesusweeners in our mist! Anyone else?

I kind of get the jist of what a Jesusweener is but kind of not. Is it someone who dresses up as an angel for Halloween?

Anyway, I don't know who or what came to our door because I had my senior pass out treats until he and his friends left to go camping. After that my eldest took over along with my husband who had returned from trick or treating with the younger two. I and the dogs were blocked off with large dog gates in the living room watching ghost stories. We still growled and barked everytime the doorbell rang. Yes, not just me but the dogs barked too.

[bananacat]

I've also heard of a story of a saint who was almost a victim of rape, but she chose to let the man kill her rather than give in, because premarital sex is a sin. Maybe it was Philomena or maybe it was someone else. But the basic message is that sex is worse than death, even if you don't want to have it. Yeah, I'll never be Catholic.

[Witsec7]

Philomena was the one who would rather die than be raped. IRRC she lost her standing as a saint the same year they pitched St. Christopher.

[Koala]

No, but we didn't pass out candy either. We were out taking our kids trick or treating. They got a tract and a religious coloring page tossed into their bags though. *sigh*

[NurseNell]

What the hell?? I've never heard of this.

You probably weren't raised Catholic, or you'd have heard of her. :P

[tehgoobster]

I've also heard of a story of a saint who was almost a victim of rape, but she chose to let the man kill her rather than give in, because premarital sex is a sin. Maybe it was Philomena or maybe it was someone else. But the basic message is that sex is worse than death, even if you don't want to have it. Yeah, I'll never be Catholic.

That was St. Maria Goretti, who was twelve when she was murdered.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maria_Goretti

[yetanothermeg]

Damn, when I clicked on this thread I totally thought it was going to be about some kind of evangelical hot dog.

[SamuraiKatz]

Hmmm....I googled "Jesus Seeds" and found this link:

http://www.dollarcross.com/scripturecandy.html :?

[Deleted02]

You probably weren't raised Catholic, or you'd have heard of her. :P

No, and am I ever grateful! :D

[BoomerLynn]

I didn't personally have any experiences but heard about a disturbing one on the radio. I was listening to a local morning show yesterday and people were calling in with weird trick-or-treat stories. One guy called in and said he had been helping his kid (8 or 9 years old) sort through candy and someone had given her a Watchtower magazine and attatched to it was one of those little plastic fetus things and a note that said "It's a Child not a Choice." So this guy then had to explain abortion to his young child. :x

[margiebargie]

Oh for crying out loud. These people are such a nuisance.

Also, the title of this thread made me laugh.

[kunoichi66]

One guy called in and said he had been helping his kid (8 or 9 years old) sort through candy and someone had given her a Watchtower magazine and attatched to it was one of those little plastic fetus things and a note that said "It's a Child not a Choice." So this guy then had to explain abortion to his young child. :x

What the fuck? :eusa-snooty: That's horrible!