How to be a "real woman"

[snuggles911]

Fundie blogger Donal Graeme has concocted a list of what it takes to be a real Christian woman. donalgraeme.wordpress.com. Here we go:

A real woman . . .

… doesn’t strive to be an equal to men. She understands that she was created to be a helpmeet, a suitable helper, to man and lives accordingly. (Genesis 2:18, 1 Corinthians 11:9)

…is quiet in church and asks men for spiritual guidance. (1 Corinthians 14:34-35, 1 Timothy 2:11)

…is chaste and ignorant of the sinful ways of the world. (Titus 2:4, Sirach 26:15)

…will embrace her femininity and not dress or present herself as a man. She will keep her hair long. (Deuteronomy 22:5, 1 Corinthians 11:6)

A real woman . . .

…isn’t embarrassed to cover her head when praying or spreading the Word of God. (1 Corinthians 11:2-16)

…knows that being wise and sensible is essential to being a Godly woman. (Proverbs 2:1-10, 1 Samuel 25:3, Tobit 6:12)

…won’t spend her prime years chasing a career and instead seeks to get married while she is still young, pretty, and fertile. (Proverbs 5:18, Sirach 15:2, Sirach 26:20)

A real woman . . .

…won’t try and usurp leadership when it isn’t her place. She doesn’t try to take over the role of men in church in order to prove something. (Titus 2:4, Ephesians 5:22-24, 1 Peter 3:1, 5-6, 1 Timothy 2:12)

…is kind so that “the word of God may not be discredited.†(Titus 2:4, Proverbs 31:26)

…knows better than to believe everyone, especially when they tell her things she wants to hear. (2 Timothy 3:6-7)

…would never think to gossip or spread lies. (Proverbs 16:28, 1 Timothy 5:13, 2 Timothy 3:2-3)

A real woman . . .

…will never date or become romantically entangled with a non-believer. (2 Corinthians 6:14-15)

…values her purity for the valuable thing that it is. She is not ashamed to live and act differently from the world in order to guard herself. (Sirach 26:15, 1 Corinthians 6:13-20)

… won’t be controlled or swayed by her base impulses. (2 Timothy 3:6)

… would never desecrate her body with a tattoo. (Leviticus 19:28)

A real woman . . .

… will never dress like a slut. She isn’t ashamed to dress differently from non-believing women. (1 Peter 3:3-4)

…doesn’t act like a bitch. She is polite and gracious to everyone she meets. (Proverbs 11:16, 1 Peter 3:4, Sirach 26:25)

…will keep her body fit and healthy. She doesn’t eat too much and won’t let herself become fat. (Proverbs 23:21, 31:17, Philippians 3:19)

…never gets drunk. (Titus 2:3, Sirach 26:8)

A real woman . . .

…loves her children and family. She won’t sacrifice them or eat them because it is convenient. (Titus 2:4, 2 Kings 6:26-30, Lamentations 4:10)

…is pleasant and expresses joy all the time. She never sulks about and laughs when things don’t go her way. (Proverbs 31:25, 1 Thessalonians 5:16)

…doesn’t blame others for her own problems, especially men, and instead embraces responsibility. (Proverbs 12:27)

…listens to the wisdom and teaching of her elders. (Titus 2:4)

A real woman . . .

…controls her temper and her emotions. She refuses to let anger control her and bother those around her. She can deal with mood swings and rejects her innate emotional nature. Instead she approaches life from a clear-headed and logical perspective. (Proverbs 14:29, Proverbs 17:27, Proverbs 25:24, Sirach 25:20)

…works hard, is capable of providing for a family and is financially responsible. (Proverbs 31:13-22)

…will not speak unless it is absolutely necessary. She refuses to chatter or nag. (Sirach 26:14, 27, 1 Peter 3:4, James 1:26)

… is a wonderful cook, and cooks every meal from scratch using fresh ingredients, unless her husband dictates otherwise. (Proverbs 31:14-15, Sirach 26:13)

Of course this dude is unmarried and always complaining about not being able to find a chaste young virgin.

[jerkit]

What the heck is Sirach?

[spud]

Fundie blogger Donal Graeme has concocted a list of what it takes to be a real Christian woman. donalgraeme.wordpress.com. Here we go:

A real woman . . .

…loves her children and family. She won’t sacrifice them or eat them because it is convenient. (Titus 2:4, 2 Kings 6:26-30, Lamentations 4:10)

Of course this dude is unmarried and always complaining about not being able to find a chaste young virgin.

Never eaten my family so score 1 to me. The rest...not so much. Does he define a 'real man'?

[EmiGirl]

What the heck is Sirach?

I'm thinking it may be a part of the Catholic apocrypha. I've never heard of it myself.

[ViolaSebastian]

…never gets drunk. (Titus 2:3, Sirach 26:8

Aaand I'm out of the running...

[polecat]

"A real woman . . .…loves her children and family. She won’t eat them because it is convenient."

Well, crap. What if we eat our kids for reasons other than convenience? Say we like nibbling on baby cheeks or chomping baby toes?

[spud]

Just read the comments on that post, he meant it as satire.

Can't paste cos my phone is being a pita.

[ViolaSebastian]

"A real woman . . .…loves her children and family. She won’t eat them because it is convenient."

Well, crap. What if we eat our kids for reasons other than convenience? Say we like nibbling on baby cheeks or chomping baby toes?

I had this very conversation with my husband yesterday.

Me: Whatta ya want for dinner?

Him: I dunno, Chipolte?

Me: No...I don't want to go out. Too much of a hassle.

Him: Okay, let's just boil some kids, then. It's healthier anyway.

[polecat]

Just read the comments on that post, he meant it as satire.

Can't paste cos my phone is being a pita.

Methinks he doesn't quite understand what satire is. I've seen him and other manospherians make every single one of those demands of women (but they claim that women are too solipsistic and feral to actually fit the bill).

In actuality, it's a response to some teen girl's writings about what makes a real man using Bible verses galore.

[utter solitude]

I'm going to go get drunk and eat a baby just because!

…won’t spend her prime years chasing a career and instead seeks to get married while she is still young, pretty, and fertile. (Proverbs 5:18, Sirach 15:2, Sirach 26:20)

So.... what if I'm not pretty or fertile?

[RachelB]

I'm going to go get drunk and eat a baby just because!

So.... what if I'm not pretty or fertile?

I know, right? I would rather not live in a world where my entire value as a human hinges on whether I won a genetic lottery. (And not everyone agrees on what makes someone pretty, anyway!)

[usmcmom]

Did anybody else read this in school:

http://www.art-bin.com/art/omodest.html

Now, THAT'S satire.

[alba]

…won’t spend her prime years chasing a career and instead seeks to get married while she is still young, pretty, and fertile. (Proverbs 5:18, Sirach 15:2, Sirach 26:20)

Why are these mutually exclusive? I'm young, pursuing a career, and engaged. Admittedly, we don't want kids, but if we did that wouldn't mean I had to give up my career.

IF it is satire, it's not very well done.

[Geechee Girl]

… is a wonderful cook, and cooks every meal from scratch using fresh ingredients, unless her husband dictates otherwise. (Proverbs 31:14-15, Sirach 26:13)

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Did he run tell that to MOTY? :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Coconut Flan]

The Wisdom of Sirach is found in Catholic and Orthodox Bibles and yes it's also called part of the Apocrypha.

I don't know this guy, but it leads credence to it wasn't something real from a real fundie as they would never quote that book.

[salex]

What the heck is Sirach?

I was guessing this

[pennsatuckey]

Welp, Donal Graeme has my number, so I'd suppose I should come clean:

I'm a reptilian.

[FJismyheadship]

By sheer luck I managed to get a three day weekend from work. So tomorrow morning I will don a skirt and set out to be the realest woman ever. I will follow this list.

Monday morning I go back to work and have to wear pants so I will let you all know if I am happier as a real woman or not.

[dairyfreelife]

Oh, I think he's totally for real, though trying to make little stupid jokes along the way and failing miserably.

I suspect that the truth is that around a powerful, dominant masculine presence the part of a woman’s brain which is responsible for logic and reason simply shuts down. Pure biological instinct takes over, leaving the three main drives of a woman: 1) Sex with alpha males, 2) protection, and 3) provision. At this point she starts seeking to fulfill impulse #1, sex with an alpha male. No rational thought is involved. Just pure lust.

To women, the notion that a relationship might result is probably the most logical conclusion that they can reach as to their actions after the fact. The truth is that they don’t know, and don’t understand why they did what they did. So the Hamster kicks in, and draws out this solution. In other cases it resolves itself as “he took advantage of me.â€

Personally, I am starting to wonder if a man with a dominant alpha frame is irresistible to women. That is, given the opportunity, she would have sex with him no matter the cost or consequences. Or what some have called “trading 5 minutes of alpha for a lifetime of beta.†Worst of all, the woman has no control over this. She cannot help herself, and really doesn’t have full agency in this kind of situation.

He wrote that on SSM's blog.

“I’m really starting to think the woman who uses this strategy is simply fulfilling the female Prime Directive:

Secure alpha seed from the best man possible, get pregnant and have babies. â€

That’s pretty much it. And the part that frightens me is this: women don’t really have any choice in the matter if they come across the right man at the right time.

Makes me understand why so many cultures hid their young women…

…Many societies hid away their young women, only allowing them out of the family home when they became married. Feminists decry this as oppression and tyranny, but the truth is that women are vulnerable to the powers of an Alpha.

Jesus taught his disciples to remove those things which bring them to temptation. Unfortunately for women, they themselves are the tempting object. Hence, to avoid sexual sins they must avoid situations where they could be subject to the irresistible power of a dominant masculine frame. In our modern world, that is nigh-well impossible.

This from his blog

Women need to avoid the potential for temptation, just as men must. If that means that a woman must avoid certain activities and places that are not so treacherous to a man, then so be it. Life isn’t fair.

donalgraeme.wordpress.com/2013/03/11/moral-agency-in-women-revisted/

I have to agree with you. Sometimes women are just overcome by their own fleshly desires. This is why they were under the express authority of their fathers and subsequently their husbands in times past. It’s ridiculous to allow a post-adolescent female out of the home with mixed company unchaperoned.

Did find another goldmine of snark of misogyny in this blog

ladyicantexplain.wordpress.com

she blames the victim of the OH football rape on the woman lying about it 'cause she was just a woman around all those alpha males and couldn't control herself and cried rape for her mistake. Uh-huh, what the fuck ever :roll:

[Tiger Lily]

What a ridiculous person! I can see why he's not married. BTW, I'm sure a "real man" doesn't call women sluts and bitches.

[FloraKitty35]

Damn you Donal Graeme. You sussed me out.

[lawfulevil]

Good luck with finding a skinny brainless emotionless doormat who can still cook worth a damn, dude.

*opens an IPA*

[Childless]

This guy's so ridiculous all I can do is laugh at him. Really, how can anyone take that crap seriously? Spending 5 minutes outside your house proves him wrong.

[sockinshoe]

The fact that he whines about the lack of "virtuous" women is pretty telling. How entitled is this guy to think that women should adhere to HIS principles of womanhood and that he deserves to have his pick of these (young and attractive, natch) women? Gross, gross, gross. :angry-banghead:

[Trynn]

Keeping in mind *I* don't fit this standard very well either, here's MY idea of a real woman:

1. Is polite and considerate, respectful.

2. However, the above doesn't mean she puts up with any crap. The real woman knows that she is worth so much that she doesn't deserve to put up with anybody's misogynist nonsense.

3. The real woman is a responsible adult, who either goes to work to support herself and her children, or stays home with her kids while her husband goes to work. (Or any combination of kids/no kids, etc.) The real woman is not a stay at home woman who does virtually nothing all day, like some of our favorite stay at home daughters.

4. The real woman is honest, and unafraid to speak her mind.

5. The real woman also has tact. "That dress doesn't flatter you. It clings in all the wrong places" instead of saying "that dress makes you look like a beach ball."

I'm out of steam, but I'm sure you guys could keep going.